cptwright 1 Posted October 24, 2004 well things havent changed a whole lot yet, getting through school pretty good, just had our final exam on friday, and start our live burns on monday, we graduate on dec 3, cant wait. still been quite lonely around here, but tonight im going out for a while, with some friends of a friend, so we'll see what happens. just found out yesterday that my plans for bringing my dog down and letting him stay with my aunt is now probably gonna fall through, which sucks i miss my dog so much, he's like my kid, he's all i have left of my life that i had, and every time i talk to my sister she tells me how he's getting more and more mopey and unhappy, i was rather bummed about that when i was told. i really hope i can figure soemthing out here quick, because he is definatley not doing good from the way things sound. i miss him a lot, and feel bad that i had to leave him like i did. i know it sounds corny and he's just a dog, but he's more than just a dog, he is my kid. he has feelings, and gives unconditional love back, which is more than most people do. well im off. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted October 27, 2004 well another year older and things really havent changed much, but i did meet someone this weekend, shes pretty cool. im not gonna get into it too much but had a good night saturday. and the rest is still pretty much the same. had a good birthday dinner on sunday with the family. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted October 28, 2004 i am going so nuts again today. last night the ex called me at midnight and kept me on the phone till 130, hating me, and wanting me to take her back. then this morning she text me saying that i should take more time to think about it, and that she's not going anywhere, last night she even went as far as to say shes gonna move here. i moved out in dec, live 8 hours away, and keep telling her i cant take her back, i dont have it in me to just tell her to f-off, but i dont know what to do anymore. the worst part about it is i do still care about her, and hope for the best for her, but my state of mind has changed, i know that all we would ever do is fight, and be miserable, and i dont want that, and i just want to continue as i have been. why cant life just be simple. at least i now have a job i love, now i just want to be happy outside of the job. i know i cant have it all. but it would be nice. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A l t e r E g o 9 Posted October 28, 2004 Change your phone number dude, if your severing ties then sever them and be done with it and move on with your life once and for all. This has been going on too long, it ain't healthy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted October 30, 2004 thanks R.C., and AE. im pretty sure i can take care of that problem relatively soon, but damn i still find ways to complicate my life even when its not my doing. ouch. i just had to tell someone tonight that i cant see her again for other reasons. i cant win, meet someone cool, and theres something else why i cant see them. maybe someday ill meet someone cool, and not have reasons to not be able to see them. i guess its gonna always be one thing or another. lol. gotta laugh, or cry so i prefer the laugh. anyone know a good psychiatrist? lol. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 1, 2004 well this is gonna be short and not so sweet. had another long day on the phone with the ex, finally giving it to her more and more harsh as far as me and her never working out. i told her to not, not go out with someone because of me, i told her not to wait for me, to just move on. long story short, after lots of conversations today, it ended with her getting really upset, saying she cant talk to me no more, and me hanging up on her due to her starting to get angry. i really wish she could've been grown up enough for us to remain friends, but i guess she just cant. and i just cant be with her so thats that. it saddens me that after being together so long, and me sucking up so much of what she did to me, that she didnt have it in her to understand where im coming from and to try to be friends, after all we grew up together so to speak. well im tired, and have a long day ahead of me tomorrow at class, to i wont bore you with my problems, but just had to vent a little. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted November 1, 2004 You're not boring anybody hun, this is the place to get it all out. It's really sad that's it's come to this but I'm glad you didn't give in to her. You know you can PM me anytime you need to vent. I might not know exactly what to say but I'm here to listen if you need it. *HUGS* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 2, 2004 thank you RC, i might actually take you up on the pm. as for today, we finished our live burns yesterday, and cleaned up the burn building today. the live burns were really fun, god i love my job. tomorrow we do vehicle fires. then some skills testing for next weeks state tests. after that its all inside snoresville, but we graduate on dec 3, god i cant wait. granted after that ill be taking emt again, but ill be a "badged firefighter" then, so that'll make life a little easier. and hopefully ill be kicked out to the street for a while before going into the emt class. well on to hardwood floors, tlak to you later. PEACE. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 12, 2004 well here it is thursday night, got a state test tomorrow, and another weekend. ive got a blind date next saturday. a friend of my uncles, set me up with a friend of hers. she called me the other night, and we set a date on sat the 20th. it was a short conversation, i guess she was quite nervous, i was shocked that someone was nervous to talk to me, but that kinda set me at ease on the phone. i found out today i guess i scored some points in that short conversation. she said to her friend that she was nervous to call, and that i was really patient, and kind on the phone, and she thought i was really nice to talk to. so thats good. im a little nervous about going out, but i think it'll be a good time. she mentioned pool, so im thinking maybe get some dinner and then go to a pool hall, good way to have fun, and get to know someone, without the pressures of a intiment setting or something like that. of course next week is a week of haz mat training, which will be very boring and make the week long, on top of that the anticipation of the date. well ive gotta get my clothes ironed for tomorrow. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jaz4stfguy 0 Posted November 12, 2004 Hey there, cptwright! Best of luck on your state test. And I hope that your evening out is fun and relaxing for you and your "blind date". Enjoy! :unsure: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted November 12, 2004 Good luck on the date. :unsure: Maybe those vibes I sent you are working. :wink1: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 12, 2004 we'll see, i hope they do. :unsure: i just got word that maybe it'll be happening sooner, like tonight or tomorrow, instead of next week that woudl be great. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 14, 2004 well here we are another sunday, weekend come and gone. sitting here trying to think of something to do. im bored off my rocker, and no place to go. i cant wait to go to NY for thanksgiving at least ill be hanging out with my buddies for the weekend, and have something to do the whole time. not to mention get a little drunk and stupid maybe. ive just got to find some friends to hang out with and do stuff around here i guess. cause this gets old quick, i am so over doing nothing, besides work, and work on the house. i can see that after i start my regular schedule i am sooooo gonna have to find a part time gig, otherwise i am gonna be spending sooooo much money just trying to keep myself busy. lol. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 19, 2004 well quite a while ago i said i would put a picture of my new car on here, so here it is. its a 98 FIREBIRD. so whatcha think? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted November 19, 2004 Very nice, love the color. I could never fit 2 car seats, a jumbo diaper bag, snacks, toys and a stroller in there. Geez I could probably fit that whole car in my trunk. *sigh* Cursed with mommy cars for the rest of my life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mike 5 Posted November 19, 2004 Cool looking car Cap ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 19, 2004 Very nice, love the color. I could never fit 2 car seats, a jumbo diaper bag, snacks, toys and a stroller in there. Geez I could probably fit that whole car in my trunk. *sigh* Cursed with mommy cars for the rest of my life. 281957[/snapback] well cursed only till they need no more diapers, snacks, and car seats at least. btw would fit two carseats back there, diaper bag, pushin it for the rest though :( i do love it i just want to put the vette motor in it now, with the six speed. my problem, ONCE A MOTOR HEAD ALWAYS A MOTORHEAD. i can never stop playing. oh well the difference between men and boys is the price of their toys. lol :o Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 20, 2004 well heres a pic of me and minime at my birthday dinner. i cant beleive that he's gonna be two in janurary. he's great. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 21, 2004 well i think im going to be perpetually cursed when it comes to women. i have a date, kinda, tomorrow. now the woman that set me up with her has already made me feel like, oh no, with some of the comments she's made after i already set up the date with her, along with some other things which i shant speak of, is really making me feel cursed now. GOD help me. oh well someday hopefully. well its late, and im tired, and a little buzzin so off to bed i go. night all. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 22, 2004 well it was ok, but there will be no second date. i cant explain it, but i guess we just didnt click, at least for me, oh well the search goes on. but i know this, i cant wait to go back to NY for a long weekend this week, going home on wed after work, coming back home on sunday. that'll be a good time hangin with my buds, and seein my sister. well its late, off to bed night all. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 24, 2004 well what a night. after i got home, a friend called, i havent talked to her for a couple of weeks now, it was nice to talk to her, shes pretty cool, but of course there are reasons that i cant see her. then i went to get something to eat at the local establishment, and the usual waitress sat down and we talked for a bit like usual, i finally got the yabbles to ask her if she wanted to go to a concert, and got " i cant get off of work", after that the girl i had my blind date with sunday text messaged me, i thought i was done with that, apparently she had a great time, but it didnt click for me, then the ex called and started the ol i wanna come down there with you, so all in all i had four girls either wanting me or i wanted them, and it all worked out badly. OUCH, life sucked tonight. oh well it'll be a good weekend heading to NY tomorrow for thanksgiving, and gonna go out with my buddies and get crunked. lol inside joke. well i wont be around really till sunday or monday after tonight so happy thanksgiving to all, and talk to ya'll later. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted November 29, 2004 well im home from NY. what a trip. finally got to see my mutt after too long, he was so happy to see me, as i was him. he lost so much weight while i was gone, so i took him to the vets to get him weighed, and get some frontline for him. now the idiot that i was, when he was getting outta the car to go into the vets, i..........uh............ kinda shut the door on his tail. i was used to him getting outta my truck, never had thaat problem before, well anyway while he did let out a yelp, that was it, he seemed fine so i thought nothing of it, till while in the vets, um......well.......there was a whole lot of blood on the floor, so they took him back, and came back to tell me that he.............um........i.....took off a chunk of tail, and that i should check inside the door of my car, sure nuff there was a half inch chunk of tail there. so i had to leave him there over night for them to stitch him up. GOD you shouldve seen his face when i left him there.so not only did i abandon him for five months with my mother then i hurt him like that, talk about feel so so so so so bad, but hes fine now, and here with me. i missed him so much. hes a great mutt. theres a lot more too, but ill tlak about all that later. night all. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted December 5, 2004 well here it is the day after. and i feel good about my career now. the only damper last night was late after i was really um shall we say intoxicated. it hit me that i was celebrating the best day, and night of my life, alone, and that i was going home alone. i was so drunk when that hit me, that it hit me HARD. being single has its great points, but it sure has its low, low points. i really wish i had someone to share that high moment in my life with. oh well someday. other than that i love how i felt yesterday. for the first time in my life i felt proud to be me, and that I actually acomplished something worthwhile in my life. now hopefully when its time to hit the streets ill be able to get the station i want. probably not but that would just put the topper on it. well i guess enough of that for now. have a good one. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jeanway 0 Posted December 5, 2004 :blink: Matt!!! Poor Puppy!!!! Now you gotta live with it. I know. I've done similar things too and I beat myself up for days or weeks over it. Once I stepped on a kitten while walking down a flight of stairs and killed it. I was about 10 years old and I still fell terrible about it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted December 12, 2004 well here it is another day. well been busy all day on the house, sanding the new hardwood floors. not an easy job, more of the same tomorrow. as sad as it is, i went to see blade trinity tonight, great movie by the way, thats not the sad part though, that is that its a saturday night, i went by myself to a movie after 2200 hrs on a saturday, by myself. this whole by myself thing is really, i mean really starting to get to me. mostly after last week i guess, when i realised on the best night of my life, or at least in the top 3, i was celebrating, suprise, suprise by myself. it wouldnt be so bad, but with my sister, and my friends all back in NY it just makes it all that much worse, at least i would of had plenty of good friends and my sis to make the night great. instead i got drunk by myself, with class mates who all had someone there with them, or at the very least had someone home waiting for them, with some friends there with them. oh well such is life, it will and always does go on. it just really starts to suck after a while, i would just love to feel some companionship, or at least wanted by someone. well sorry for the spout of crap. PEACE. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted December 13, 2004 well heres my musical mood for the month. sure does fit. lots has changed. cant beleive how much in me and my life is different than a year ago. not all bad, just a lot to take in sometime. especially this time of year. i used to love christmas. but after last year, and being semi alone in a new place, it really sucks again. rather depressing i know, but it is a great song. FAITH HILL - WHERE ARE YOU CHRISTMAS. tis on repeat play probably for the duration now. Click For Spoiler Faith Hill - Where Are You Christmas Lyrics Where are you christmas Why can?t I find you Why have you gone away Where is the laughter You used to bring me Why can?t I hear music play My world is changing I?m rearranging Does that mean christmas changes too Where are you christmas Do you remember The one you used to know I?m not the same one See what the time?s done Is that why you have let me go Christmas is here Everywhere, oh Christmas is here If you care, oh If there is love in your heart and your mind You will feel like christmas all the time I feel you christmas I know I?ve found you You never fade away The joy of christmas Stays here in silence Fills each and every heart with love Where are you christmas Fills your heart with love i finally have the job of my dreams, love living here in VA, yet i still feel empty, or maybe not so empty, but just still something missing. i was doin pretty good, just this last week has really hit me hard, cant explain it. i do wish that it would go away. well sorry again for the vent, but no one here for me talk to, the only ones for me to talk to live quite a ways away, so you people are it. well night all. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted December 16, 2004 well its official..........IM AN IDIOT......... well i dont know about idiot but dang, theres this girl at a local home improvement store, been going there alot for working on the house, anyway, the last few days ive been like....im going there and going to start up a conversation and see where it goes, shes pretty cool, cute, so im all about it, she hasnt been there, tonight i had to go and return something, there she was, so what did i do, oh yeah nothing. i went to open my mouth, and nothing came out. there was the usual, hey hows it goint, see ya next time kinda thing but i cant get out much more than the usual. god help me im gonna die a lonely old man. lol. oh well maybe next time ill spit out something more substantial. on another note, they cant get me into an emt class at work till mid janurary, so i have to just sit around training till then before i can get out on the street. man the last few days have been such a bore i cant stand it. the next month is gonna drive me insane. lol oh well at least i still have the best job in the world. for me anyway. well enough for now. later PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted December 19, 2004 well here we are late saturday night, just finished the second coat of poly on the hardwood floors. one more tomorrow morning, then by the end of the week we should be all done, trim and touch up paint, then move in. then i get my master suite. <_< so on a more personal note, let me ask you women out there how would you want some guy that comes to your store and sees ya there alot, to ask you out? by that i mean she seems like she might be interested, definatley seems cool, i just need a little push in the right direction, i just need a little help here getting started. once i open my mouth and things start rolling, i pretty much can roll with it, but i need to get past that hurdle. i am so over being lonely i want to start enjoying life a whole lot more. and yes that entails finding good female companionship. someone to do things with, and to share life with, im not saying this one is the one, or the next one, but i need to actually start activley looking. so someon, anyone a little help please. i know kinda pathetic, but so be it. :biggrin: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted December 25, 2004 well i asked her out. she has a boyfriend. "shes trying to break up with him nicely" had a nice talk with her, learned a lot about her. of course made me want her even more, and i cant have her. oh well i guess that made my three strikes and im out since ive been down here. three that ive met, three that ive asked out and three that couldnt or wouldnt. oh well. then there were two others, that were setups, one that wants me but i dont want to go out with her again, and one that is a mutual like, but i cant see her. oh well. life goes on. i cant beleive its christmas eve, christmas just aint the same anymore. oh well at least mini me loved his christmas stuff. as soon as i get the pics i show ya what we got him. it was great. well im outta here. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL. AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT. PEACE Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
