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cptwright

THE WRIGHT STATE OF MIND

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thhanks spacetigger, it was helpful. i do plan to call her once in a while, but not for a bit. i ws debating on wether or not to drop her a valentines day card. but i dont know. i do hope that she comes around and we can work it out. but time will tell.

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well here it is late saturday night, early sunday morning. just got back from the movies with the kids, my buddies kids, and justins girlfriend. me and 3 teenagers, what have i come too, :waaaa: oh well it was fun, and keeps me busy. it took forever today to fix my truck, and what a pain in the behind it was, i had to go out to the parts store a few times today and was ready to blow it up, but thanks to the friends i had there helping me they kept me from doing anything bad to my truck, or myself out of frustration. so i guess all in all it was an ok day, i got to spend some time with my sister today, im glad that we have become the friends that we have for a while there i thought she was gonna hate me forever, but shes a good kid. well goodnight people, talk to you all later.

 

me

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well here it is sunday night, had an alright day, went and seen some friends for a while, had dinner with them, they were quite suprised about me and angel, they, as well as everyone else said they would never have guessed, because she was so into me, and always wanted to be together so i know it wasnt just me, but oh well maybe she'll get over it, maybe not, but i cant let it ruin my life. this morning i woke up, alone, and felt isolated, and trapped, unable to call, or talk to anyone, seeing as my buddy dont have a phone, so i finally went and bit the bullet and turned on my cell phone. while i was typing this lisa called me, she was feeling lonely too, she just used me to try to get her boyfriend to come over and see her, by saying i was just there and started trouble with her, thus she was upset. it didnt work, she couldnt sleep, and called me. i tell ya its weird talking with about some of the things we talked about, but its nice to be friendly again, i just told her not to do that too much, because i really dont feel like having her huge boyfriend kick the crap out of me because, " im starting trouble with her". the weirdest conversations we had was when we started talking about the sex, shes telling me things, then i told her things, then we just looked at eachother and said that aint right, :clap: but its nice to be aable to be good friends still. im glad she got over being psycho, and we can talk now. well anyway goodnight people, have a good one.

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well another day another night gone by. today was an alright day, made it through pretty good, but when the night came i just seemed to of lost it again, i had to go out for a drive, and i dont know if im coming or going. lisa just called me, and was talking for a bit, shes having a hard time with her mother, just found out that the cancer is going to her spine, and shes in quite a bit of pain. then her boyfriend called, and she said she'll call back. what a life, i tell ya, tonight is a low night. in the last several months ive went from not much of a drinker to drinking much more than i used too, still not excessive often anyways, but much more than i used too, now i started smoking too, i was a cigar smoker occasionally but never cigs, but id been bumming them off of people, and now a few days ago i bought my first pack, and tonight bought two more. im begining not to know who i am anymore. when i think things may be getting better finally, then they seem to fall apart even more. between my accident last week, and how much i had to put into my truck, then not hearing yet from norfolk, and money getting worse, and just all that i thought i had planned out with school, and the fire dept, and such, and none of it seems to be coming together. some days i just wish i didnt have to get out of bed, then others i just try to think positive, but when i do something else goes wrong. i do have some good friends but that seems to only help so much, i just dont know anymore. well im glad i have you people to talk too, your a great family to have on line. well sorry to babble on so much, have a good one. hopefully someone will.

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well we won the division championship for our pool league, and found out tonight that in june we play for state champs, then go to VEGAS for the nationals. we got a spiphy little trophy tonight, and a patch. in other events, the ex decided to lecture me tonight, and now thinks im disgusting due to my new habit, i started the smoking because my nerves are pretty much shot now, and crap like that dont help either. but a little while later she called to apologise. now i also feel like an idiot, i took over a valentines day card to angels and left it on the door, gave her my new cell number too.i mean she said call anytime, and such, but i tried to call once yesterday, and i think either her phone was off, or shes out of minutes again, it was common for her, so i just put a little note on the envelope with my number. but i cant help feeling stupid that i did that, the whole card and all. oh well, now i left that and my number i think im not gonna try to call her anymore, and see if she eventually calls me. oh well i guess thats that, and life goes on.

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well i guess life does keep kickin ya when your down. i just got a call from norfolk human resources, i didnt make this selection. i suppose theres still july, i hope anyway, but i really just wanted out of here now. oh well. well maybe this weekends long drive to nebraska will help clear the head a little. doubt it.

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well i guess life does keep kickin ya when your down. i just got a call from norfolk human resources, i didnt make this selection. i suppose theres still july, i hope anyway, but i really just wanted out of here now. oh well. well maybe this weekends long drive to nebraska will help clear the head a little. doubt it.

 

*hands over CptWright a loaded Pistol*

 

"Here boy use it well"

 

:force:

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*Sigh*. I am very sorry to hear that Cpt. We were all defenitely gunning for you. But I'm sure things will improve. You'll get it in July. I can see it.

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I hope you weren't "gunning for him", bysty. ( :o j/k)

 

It'll all work out Cap'n Wright :o . I wish you the best of luck, and I'll be thinkin' of you. :o

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I hope you weren't "gunning for him", bysty. ( :rofl: j/k)

Lol. It's just a figure of speech. Nobody's literally gunning for you, Cpt. Wright. Lol.

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thanks everyone, its 6am sunday morning just got back from nebraska, and the 48 hr dr was long, but i think it helped me clear my head a little. actually i know it did, i just hope that when i wake up 3 days from now lol, that i remember the things i came to realise, as im sure i will.

i just have to accept that there are gonna be things i have no control over, and those that i do, just try to do my best with it. i mean hopefully there is still july for the fire co. until then i know i can find work, i have an interview tues somewhere. i must say i never been in a car, or truck as the case maybe for 48 hrs straight, and hope to never do it again, but one of the places i think best is in a car driving for long distances, had a good friend with me, he made me laugh, and it was good therapy for me. well thanks for your good thoughts, and im gonna go off to bed here in a minute, so ill talk to you all later.

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well i got a wopping 5 hours sleep this morning, the kids came in about noon, and ive been up since. gonna sleep like a baby tonight, hopefully. well went to change the cv axleshaft on my sisters car today, and a stupid, uncommon problem happened, and because me and her boyfriend didnt think of it and catch it, she now has to find someone to tear open the tranny, oh boy, now my lucks rubbin off on my sister, oops. oh well hopefully we'll get it somehow, with as little expense as possible.

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well i just got off the phone with lisa, we talked for about an hour, we talked about how we both need this seperation, and that even if one or both of us said we should try again that it wouldnt be fair to either of us, and i said i think we have gotten to a place where we make better friends than we did spouses, she agreed. im happy that we can and hopefully will remain friends, after all i have known her for 15 years, and she was there for me through a lot of things in my life, good and bad. i think it finally is sitting better with her, and talking with her she realizes it. i think this week we need to call a realtor, it kills me to sell my house, but it is just that a house, someday i can get another one. were broke, and we need to get rid of it, and split whatever extra we get. now i just need to find an acceptable path for my life to go down now. i know its out there, and as i have discovered you cant change life, and the harder i tried, the more it changed me, and not all for the better. i just need to let it take me down the road it has meant for me. somedays, im sure a lot at least in the near future will be hard, and others will be ok. i still havent given up all hope on angel either but even if we do get together again, this time has made me think about things that i needed to anyway, that i wouldnt of if we were still together as well. and if we dont, at least i can say for a little while i met a very wonderful, nice, sweet caring woman, and now i do know that their are some like that out there, i just dont know that lightning can strike again. lol. i also talked to my aunt in norfolk today, as some of you may know she works in dispatch down there and apparently talked about me with someone, and found out that i was very close to getting it, they just filled the positions before my name, so if thats the case, then im near or on top of the list for july august, academy. so whatever you do, pray, wish me luck or whatever, please do so i need all the help i can get lately. i at least have an interview on tues for a job for now, i need something to pay the bills im dying here. well enough babling for now, and thanks for the words of friendship and comfort. i appreciate it greatly.

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well started packing stuff at the house today. my god packing up 15 yrs of stuff is gonna be fun,...........not. me and lisa had dinner together tonight, talked for a while before my pool night, she said that if were gonna be friends that i should probably meet her boyfriend sometime, because it might be weird for him that were still friends. i dont think so after all shes been my best friend for 15 yrs, and we just became better friends than lovers, spouses. oh well. actually i said i would like to meet that man that actually got her to do things, and act someways that ive tried to do for years. i stopped at angels place last night, to talk and tell her i didnt get the job in VA, it didnt seem to make a difference, so after a while i left, and just told her to call sometime. i just would love to know how she could go from having to see me everyday, to boom, nothing. i just dont get it, and nobody else does either. i guess that ive just been out of dating for way too long, and dont know how to read people, alls ive had to do for 15 yrs is read my wife, not many women. oh well my buddy that im living with is trying so hard to hook me up with one of two women, one of which i know she was a friend of lisa's, i knew for years she wanted me, she is also a friend of my buddies girlfriend, and she keeps saying how much she wants me and would take me in a heartbeat. but i have no interest, and think it would just not be right to date a friend, or supposed friend of lisa's. i know i wouldnt like it at all. not to mention that after 15 yrs with her, then letting myself fall for angel, and get a broken heart again, i just dont want anything to do with dating right now, i just need to find myself, and be happy by myself, then find someone worthy of a man that would give her the world. at least try too, im no perfect catch but i try to treat a woman like a queen and give whatever she wants, and that i can give. i guess that im just a silly sentimental sapp. pretty sad i guess. but i just know i dont want or at lest dont need to date anybody for a while

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well here it is thursday night, just got back from the movies with my sister and her friends. we went to see 50 first dates. funny movie. i had an ok day till after the movie, now im thinking what have i become, i mean i love that me and my sister have gotten close like this, cause for a long time i thought she would, and did hate me. but here i am hanging out with late teen and early twentys young adults, no money, no house to call home anymore, and no life. i actually start a job on monday, but not much of one, its lilke ive taken ONE GIANT LEAP BACKWARD IN LIFE. most days i know i made the right decision to leave my wife, even the days that i wonder about i know it, its just so different after all we were together from our teens till now. i guess i just dont know how to be, or who i am anymore, i just kinda slowly been losing myself for quite sometime now, but now that im alone, i really dont know who i am or how to find out who i am. everything ive planned, or tried just seemed to backfire. i thought by now id be in norfolk or at least be doing something with the computer thing, but here i am doing neither, and my job is quite the paycut from what im used to. i just hope we can sell the house quickly and get out from that and most of our bills, and jsut split whats left. i never liked, nor dealt well with change, and damn you dont get any more change than everything ive gone through the last couple months. no home, no wife, no job, and just losing my mind. somedays im just as fine as can be, then poof something hits me, either something someone says, does, or i just see something just right or a smell, or especially a song will hit me and boom i lose it again and start to feel like crap again. i know in time it'lll get better but i just wish time would hurry up and make it better. im a firm beleiver in things happen for a reason but i really wanna know the reason for my life falling apart so extreme as it has. this has been one LONG COLD WINTER, and i dont care if i ever feel the cold again in my life. just give me a nice tropical beach with blue waters, and white sands in margaritaville, after all its five oclock somewhere. lol. well sorry to bable on like this but you people are the only ones i feel like i can spill with. i just dont like to with my friends or family i guess ive never been that way, i just always listened to peoples problems. the only one i ever really spilled my guts to was my buddy that died some years back, so now its you people.

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Hang in there cptwright, you never know when things'll turn around.

 

I got dumped on New Year's Day at the airport this year after a great holiday and was in a bit of a state for some time. I was really at a loss as to what to do. Since then my life has turned around dramatically: I found a new and better place to live for a lot less money, got promoted at work and made a few new friends as well as get into much better shape with all the free time I've had. I guess the key was just focussing my energy on what I had to get done instead of what was done.

 

Hope you don't mind the intrusion...

 

Take care,

 

Red Shirt Volunteer

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hey red shirt i dont mind the comments at all, actually i appreciate any and all comments, and thoughts. thanks for your. well i start my new job in the morning, i cant beleive im going for a desk job. ive never had one, always had busy jobs, now im gonna sit on a phone all day. oh well its a paycheck till something comes together. i got a letter yesterday from norfolk, it says they didnt make it to my name on the eligibilty list, and that my name is still there for the next academy in six months. my aunt says that talking to someone in the fire dept that my name is now pretty much at the top of the list so i guess it looks good for six months from now. PLEASE GOD PLEASE. i need it, i need something to go good. i cant beleive that at the end of the week ill be moving back in to my mothers again. i own my own home, and im gonna be living with mommy, uhg. oh well could be worse i guess. well anyone wanna buy a house, were selling it, itll be for sale in a week or so. well i guess i should go to bed, and get some sleep now. talk to y'all later. goodnight

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Guest Ktrek

About 10 years ago I went through a divorce from a woman I had been married to for 17 years after she had a second affair in five years. Many of your own experiences I have gone through too. Including meeting someone and then them drawing back from the relationship very suddenly. Looking back now I'm glad she did because I met my current wife about a year later when I wasn't so much on the "rebound". I don't care what people say but men and women do go through a rebound thing after the breakup of long-term relationships and they ultimately are not likely to be healthy. You may not see it now but Angel likely did you a BIG favor. When God's timing is right and you have your house in order(I'm not talking about your literal house here) someone will come into your life. Hang in there! Hope you get hooked up with the academy in 6 months!

 

Anytime you need a friend who understands what you have been through feel free to email me. I'll be there to help if I can.

 

Ktrek

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thanks ktrek its nice to hear something from someone whose gone through much of the same things. i appreciate what you've said, and i know everything happens for a reason, its just hard to swallow somethings, i know this whole thing with angel will probably be for the best, and im glad that i did get to know her, i just hope someday i find somebody that makes me feel like she did. it had been an extremely long time, dare i say years since ive felt like she made me feel. my wife also had two affairs on me in the past, which is why this time i wasnt gonna wait for her to do it again, when i seen many of the same signs again. i guess i was just a silly sentimental sap that i let it go two times like i did, but i sure couldnt do it again. im not saying i was a perfect husband, i actually am still just a big kid myself. i take responsibility for things, and my actions, but i love to have fun, just with bigger more expensive toys now a days. lol. but anyway i never cheated on her, and thats all i ever wanted from her was the same respect i gave her. i would've given her the world were i able to, but she didnt want what i had to give i guess. well thanks again for your words.

 

matt

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well another day in snoresville at the new job, but i guess it could be worse, i dropped off an applicatiobn at the city today for a municipality job, that would be nice, i hope that at least the old job starts to pick up so i can get hours and money from them. i have thought about after the house sells if nothing starts turning around for me around here i might move anyway to VA, take a chance that in six months that i'll get the job in the fire dept. i mean after im legally seperated, and the house is gone, i can move around pretty much at will so if i dont like it and dont get the job i can always move back. my uncles trying to convince me to move down there anyway. so im giving it thought. ive been getting over the whole angel thing too, slowly but getting there, i think. but today was trying, in class we went over an account, numerous, numerous times, and repeated the name numerous times, and gee the name was angel, then everyone of my breaks, i ran into this girl that looked shockingly like you guessed it, angel, then to top it all off when i got home, rick said that he seen angel today, so when im trying to convince myself that its all happening the way it is for a reason, theres a million and a half reminders. to quote my favorite character, "good greif". well this weekend im moving again, but unfortunately im probably gonna have to move my stuff back into my house for a little bit till the witch thats in my moms house is gone, shes supposed to be gone this weekend but i dont think so. tonight lisa told me shes going out of town for the weekend with her boyfriend, so i can stay in MY HOUSE for a couple of nights, WOW. i guess a lot of my anguish as well is that the woman who broke my heart, my wife, many times over, and finally made me lose faith in her and myself, finally made me feel i had to give up EVERYTHING I, WE, have worked for all these years, to try and find myself again, is already finding happiness in someone, and doing things that i could never never get her to do when she was with me. she freely admits to, finally taking my advice on how to, and not to act and what not to say, but with him, she couldnt do it for me. so i guess i just need to get over her being happy already, and that im roaming in the wilderness. oh well such is life i guess. someday i'll get back on my feet. i just wish it would be sooner than later. and i truly hate the feeling of loneliness, and lack of lovin in my life. but fortunately i do have some good friends to try and help.

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well here it is another wedensday alone, but today is a little different, its kind of a ill say decent day. ill be moving this weekend, and the place that has almost become home is no more, ricks moving on, and im moving back to my house at least for a few days till i can get into moms, but tonight one of ricks kids justin, and his girlfriend were here, there both 18 they both were saying that they'll miss me, justin was saying how im the step dad. it kinda made me, no it really made me feel good. i told them to call me if they ever wanna go to the movies or something or just come over and watch a movie, their all good kids, im gonna miss being around them, they made me laugh. i must say after all these years of not being able to have children with lisa, being around ricks three, and their friends, and being around angels kids for a little while has made me realize how much i wish i could've had at least one kid. i mean it wasnt me, so i guess if i find the right woman i still could, but the problem there is that most women around my age, hell even in their early twentys, much less early thirtys have had the kids they want. i know that if i found someone with some good kids, i say good because ive known people with hellspawn for children that would drive me to suicide, i could be happy with that, after all ive found that i can care for kids that arent my own, theres my godson, and lisas goddaughter who is my friends kid, and another friends kid, who over the years, i have become quite close to, and care about greatly, i would give just about anything for them, and just how i came to care about ricks kids, i know i could be happy with being with someone with kids, but i truly do hope to have one of my own someday in the near future. oh well i guess im just a lost cause, anyway i guess ill get going now, i mayb be around tomorrow, but after that not for a few days probably at least while moving around. well best wishes to all. have a good one.

 

matt

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well here it is friday night, and im in my house its kinda weird but nice, im here alone, with the mutt, i hope that mari gets out of moms house this weekend so i can move in there, cuz itll be quite weird staying here even a couple of days when lisa gets back. last night was a tough night for me, i dont know why i just, well i guess i just really need to find a way to stop thinking about everything, and everyone. i just wish it was possible to erase my memory, lol, i know not gonna happen, but everytime i start to feel better then something hits me like a ton of bricks, and i feel like i stepped back another month, than move forward another day. its just this week i keep getting slapped with reminders of angel, yesterday at work i ran into her old roomate. then theres stuff like lisa going away for the weekend with her boyfriend, and i hate to say it i just feel so jealous to see her...... well happy. i mean in one breath im happy for her because for years thats all i wanted was for her to be happy , i lost myself trying to make it happen, but in another breath its like, how does the woman that made me feel the way i do, that could be so downright evil at times, rate, while i am where i am. i know thats wrong , and i shouldnt feel that way but i cant help it sometimes, especially when she starts giving me greif sometimes, like tonight when i was talking about maybe having to stay here a few extra days. i mean its our house still, and i still give her most of what i make to pay the bills, and she lives here. i mean i should pay the bills too, after all there ours, but what about the cable, and the phone, which i found she's been spending a lot on, on calling her friend, the phone bill was so high a couple fo months in a row i was shocked, i dont use these things yet there part of our bills that im helping pay, and she gives me greif about having to stay here. where does she get off, its not like im sleeping in the same room im downstairs, its not like, i like this anymore than she does, i mean i was looking forward to a couple of last nights alone in the house this weekend but not after that when she's home. oh well sorry to rant like this i guess i just need to vent, and you lucky people are my place to do it. well goodnight all

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well i found out tonight that mari is moving tomorrow, so ill be moving in either monday or tuesday at moms. thank GOD, its kinda nice being in MY house, but i cant say here with her even if it is on the first floor while shes upstairs. im gonna miss this place once its sold. i went and played pool tonight for a while, then on the way home i stopped at what used to be my favorite place to go. its where i met angel, but when i went in, i was instantly just not into it, and seen the girl that introduced me to angel too, she was suprised by what happened, i mean she knew about it, but asked me what happened, i really couldnt tell her, i mean i wish i knew myself. i paid to get in, bought one beer, talked to her for a minute walked around the place, then i just couldnt stand being in there so i left without even finishing my beer. i cant do anything anymore that doesnt make me think of her, and how she made me feel, i want that feeling back, and its driving me nuts. this has been one crapful week, it just seems like everytime i start to feel ok, and try to forget things, something happens, or i run into someone that either talks about her, or makes me think about her,, so much so i tried to call her tonight, but i didnt get a hold of her. anyway im just losing my mind, well im sure i lost it along time ago anyway but at the very least it didnt have far to go. well its late, and i guess im gonna try to get some sleep, ive gotta help my buddy in the morning working on the house, that ive been helping completelly remodel, its a couple of extra bucks in the pocket, then ive gotta go help my buddy rick move to his girlfriends too, then oh yay i get to come home to lisa. cant wait to hear about her wonderful weekend with her boyfriend. earlier i had stuff for ricks wife, that he wanted me to take so she can get it, and ive been bringing stuff over here to the house so she can get it from lisa, so she wanted to take me for dinner to thank me, we had a nice talk, i mean its nice to talk with someone whose going through a lot of the same things you are, shes hearbroke about her and rick, and then everything with me and my life, so we sat and talked for quite a while, then i took the stuff to her house for her. way too many broken hearts going on around me in the last year. especially mine, i didnt think one could break that much and still be beating. oh well, such is life i guess.

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CAPTWRIGHT, GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL, DON'T RUSH IT. THE WRIGHT PERSON, HAHA, IS OUT THERE FOR YOU, WHEN THE TIME IS WRIGHT. SO SORRY, BUT THIS STUFF IS JUST FALLING OUT OF ME, OH, I'M REALLY EMBARRASED. NO, REALLY,. IF YOU BROKE YOUR LEG, IT NEEDS TIME TO HEAL, CORRECT? <----SEE WHAT I DID THERE, YOU WOULDN'T TRY TO GO RUN A RACE ON IT, WHILE IT'S STILL IN A CAST, WOULD YOU? SAME WITH YOUR HEART, LET IT REST AND HEAL. THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME. JUST TAKE CARE OF OTHER THINGS FOR A WHILE. WORK OUT, READ, TAKE A CLASS OR TWO, ENRICH YOURSELF, SLEEP, OH THAT'S A GREAT HEALER. EEWW, A COOKING CLASS WOULD BE A GREAT THING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. COULD MEET SOME HOT MAMA TOO. JUST KIDDING. GOOD LUCK, YOU'LL BE FINE. HEY, IF DIVORCE WAS THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD, WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE DOING IT??? HUH???

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thanks jeanway and bysty. well today was a beautiful day, i cant wait for spring to get here, and the warm weather to stay. it was a bit different but not so bad being here with lisa. heard all about the weekend with J, but ive dealt with worse so it was ok. i talked to my uncle in VA he said that they had a recruit quit the first day of the academy. he said their fantically looking for someone to start right away, he told his friend whose teaching the academy to have them try me. this was friday, so whereas im not holding my breath but damn that would be great if they did call, id be packed the next day and on my way down. i just need a HUGE, GOOD, I SAID GOOD, CHANGE. i got home tonight about 4:30 or so, and im not used to just sitting around on the couch in front of the tv, it was quite difficult for me actually, around 8:30 i had it and had to go out for a drive, went and seen my sister for a few, then i was gonna stop for a drink, but low and behold, i was broke, i bought dinner for me and lisa tonight so that was the last of my money for the next 2wks, yikes. but i rented two movies, and came back and just got done watching one of them, are you ready for this, i wil forever deny renting this after this statement but i heard from numerous people it was good, and the context was relavent to my life so i had to see it, under the tuscan sun, it wasnt so bad, life does go on after divorce, and a broken heart i guess. well i hope. :naughty: then the other one was lost in translation will probably see that tomorrow night, hope its good as ive heard. well i guess thats all for tonight have a good one.

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well today was another beautiful day. the days are getting better for me, but the nights just sitting here are still crap, especially while im here at my house with lisa. shes saying how weird this is, and its just not right, while i thought things were fine, its not like one or the other is trying to hit on the other one. but i feel eh, when shes upstairs talking to her boyfriend, mostly jealous i guess, i just feel so lonely, and where as im happy that she found someone apparently nice, it sucks i just feel like i wasted so many years now, so many things goin through my head right now. i promised a friend that i wouldnt buy any more cigarettes either, seeing how i just started smoking a few months ago, the nerves being shot and all, but alas today i broke that promise, i bought a pack got one free, its not like im a chain smoker, its mostly the hands, and the action, ive always had to do something like tapping my fingers playing with a pen, or flicking my lighter, or something, it just progressed into smoking, im sure, hopefully i will quit it soon. i know its stupid, especially starting at 32 yrs old, but somethings you just cant help i guess. if lisa knew i bought some more, damn i would never hear the end of it, after all yesterday i told her i didnt smoke any, and that i was out anyway, and that i would not be buying anymore either. oh well i guess they'll get over it. well i dont have to worry about staying here really any longer, seeing as i should be able to move my stuff into moms on wed. i hope. well enough pooring for the night have a good one people.

 

ps i didnt hear from norfolk today i guess ill have to wait six months.

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well today was still warm but a little dismal. what a night, i got my room at my moms cleaned up so tomorrow ill be moving again, i dont know that ill be on or not tomorrow. but anyway today lisa was really upset with everything. so we talked for a while, and a lot of what we talked about was me helping her with some advice with her boyfriend yeah thats right her boyfriend. i cant beleive i was helping her with her love life, but im glad that it seemed to work out for her, im skipping a lot here btw, she also told him that she wanted to talk about us, that were still civil, and want to remain friends, so i guess we'll see how he takes that, but hey i gave her good advice in his favor tonight so he should be thanking me. but through all that, and her being upset, and me trying to comfort her a little, made me think all the more about being lonely and depressed myself, i really hate having no one, female, to talk to, or hang out with and just plain enjoy her company. i know that i probably need this time to myself, but it doesnt make it any easier. oh well im tired tonight going to bed early so night all.

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