Madame Butterfly's Personal Log

[Angela 1]

Not problem, had air con once, it was how my mum sorted it out, also if air con gives out, placing a bowl of ice infromnt of a fan does a really good job of keeping things cool

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Quote of the Day

 

I think a man and a woman should choose each other for life, for the

simple reason that a long life with all its accidents is barely enough time for

a man and a woman to understand each other and. . . To understand - is to love."

 

 

William Butler Yeats

 

Maybe delving into something deeply personal here, but a giant part of my life is ending, and there is great excitement over this.

 

For a long time someone fought with me on this, made my life a living hell for a very long long time.

 

 

I'd come to believe that only certain people get that once in a lifetime partner that everyone wants, desires.

 

And low and behold, I was one of those lucky ones and got that partner.

 

But that partner freaked out that satan I'd once known so well. It appears that individual has FINALLY figured it out, accepted things, and is no longer mixing up and messing with my life.

 

Until it is official, please send good thoughts, loving thoughts though. Everyone deserves to find happiness, and I sincerely hope "satan" finds someone else who can help co create a happier existence.

[Madame Butterfly 0]

No quote today, nothing can encompass what today was like.

 

Very confusing, in all regards.

 

Tomorrow the heat wave is supposed to end, which will be much welcomed.

 

What's the point of summer if you can't go out and enjoy the weather?

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

 

--Matt Groening

 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,

I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

 

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,

and if I have a faith that can move mountains,

but have not love, I am nothing.

 

If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,

but have not love I gain nothing.

 

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

 

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away...And now these things remain: faith, hope and love.

 

But the greatest of these is love.

 

--1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13

 

Life is very very confusing , my heart is wounded.

 

Think I've realized no one believes in love quite in the same way I do. Kind of brutal really, do you give up your beliefs or hold on to them in the hope that someday you will find someone who believes as you do?

 

I know my answer is to hold strong to MY beliefs because once you sucumb to others beliefs, you never really have happiness because you've sacrificed who you are. And if you let dreams, hopes, and wishes die, then you begin to die.

 

I was hoping for a carefree summer, and it seems there are others you are doing their damndest to make sure I don't!

 

To hell with them.

[Kor37 9]

I'm sorry you are having troubles. However, I don't have a clue as to what you are talking about as you speak in riddles........

[Madame Butterfly 0]

I'm sorry you are having troubles. However, I don't have a clue as to what you are talking about as you speak in riddles........ :lol:

330890[/snapback]

 

 

 

:P

 

Yes, I do!!

 

But then, it's easier to talk in riddles than to just open the door of my heart and spill everything, and then perhaps regret it later.

 

I guess as long as I know, that's what counts.

 

Thanks for your post Kor. :P

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Lovely day today.

 

No humidity, but warm the sky so very blue and beautiful.

 

Got my haircut today, and am letting it getting very long for me. I always feel better after a bit of pampering too. :huh:

 

Saw an interesting job in the want ads today;interesting because the benies are good. Will give a call tomorrow to find out more information. It's not really what I want to do, but it's a start I guess.

 

I'm addicted to vacuuming. B) I went out and bought a Dyson and now I'm obsessed with how much stuff I can bring out of the carpets!! :huh: With three pets, it's fills up quickly, but I'm finding I'm vacuuming twice a day since I bought this thing! :lol:

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Yesterday I found out that someone I had become close to online, well their wife had a baby and they named the baby after me. :huh:

 

The sad aspect of this story, is my friend had terminal cancer.

 

And some months back he had "remet" the girl of his dreams. He was so wonderfully silly and ga ga in love. :huh: :lol:

 

Then he discovered his cancer was back for the third time, and where this cancer had lodged itself, there was no treatment.

 

So instead of waiting two years to marry, he asked her then and there to at least get engaged. A date was set for January.

 

But in our IM conversations, it was very evident he knew he didn't have until January.

 

So one night he mentioned he was driving back to school and they would be going through Vegas. He was wondering if they should get married, how big of a deal it was for a girl to have a wedding in a church with the gown.

 

But he also knew that they didn't have the time for that.

 

So I convinced him that Vegas could be romantic and fun.

 

As they pulled into the main section of town, and stopped at a light, he turned to her and said " Would you marry me now, right here." And of course they did.

 

He died a month later.

 

The day of the funeral she took a pregnancy test and found out that she was with child.

 

He had jokingly told me two days before he died that if they were ever blessed with children, that they would name a daughter after me, because I was the reason he had given Vegas a try.

 

I never thought he'd talk to his wife about it, but I am so honored that they did.

 

Amazingly, the night he passed away, he typed out some last thoughts, and had a special message for all of those he was friends with. This is just a small part of the very humble and beautiful message he left behind.

 

The first is that I do not want you to cry for me. I have been blessed with a great life! It has been full of love, family and friends. And I have also known for the longest time that I was not meant to live long.

I have enjoyed your company, the times of laughter, and even the times of pain and aggrevation.

 

Tonight as I am sitting here writing out my last thoughts, I can’t even begin to tell you the peace that I feel inside. Truely the veil that separates man from god is feeling very thin to me. And I know I am reaching the end.

 

There is one regret that I do have and that is not being able to grow old with my wife

 

God Bless you Pete.

 

And my he bless your wonderful wife and baby girl.

[Kor37 9]

Wow. What a terribly sad yet strangely uplifting story. Sounds like he was a remarkable person. Say hello to little Madam or little Butterfly for me!

[Angela 1]

that was amazingly sad, so much so, i am crying, even though i never knew that person.

 

you are definately a good person to be named after, may that family be blessed.

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Father's Day.

 

My Dad passed away in 2002 very unexpectedly.

 

I'm passed seeing the cards, and thinking "Oh Dad would love this", which was very hard the first couple of years.

 

If I were closer I most likely would have gone to the cemetary today, but my Dad is buried 9 hours away from me, on a hill over looking a farm field, and then a forest, it's very beautiful.

 

So today I tried to do my best to be the person he was, because that, to me, is the greatest legacy I can leave and how I can honor him.

 

If any of you have lost your father, how do you remember him on Father's Day?

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Quote of the Day

 

Things do not pass for what they are, but for what they seem. Most things are judged by their jackets.

 

~Baltasar Gracian

 

How well do you ever know another individual?

 

In reality, it is up to them to show what they want you to see.

 

They may appear charming, but in reality are playing a role to get what they want.

 

They may appear to be nasty, but may be the most compassionate person they'll never let you see.

 

Or they may open their heart to you, and let you see to depths no one has ever seen before.

 

 

It's just in deciding what is true, and what is not

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Another hot day.

 

Will eventually get a break from the heat on Thursday, but by Monday it's back to the 90-100 degree range.

 

I'm seriously considering spending the month of July at my Mother's house. She lives on the shore of a very nice lake in northern Michigan.

 

At least I can float the days away in an innertube. -day dreams and smiles-

 

One of my room mates is peeling, but she says "I'm ripped!!!" :unsure:

 

Totally cracked me up.

 

She thought she was broken!! :P

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Temperature: 90°F 32°C

Conditions: Partly Cloudy

Winds: E 13 MPH E 21 KPH

Relative Humidity: 48%

Barometer: 29.94 Steady

Visibility: 7.00 Miles 11.27 Kilometers

Feels Like: 93°F

 

It rained a bit last night, but not enough to help the farmers or my garden. <_<

 

I've put in a call to my Mom to see how'd she feel about a very long visit from me.

A very long visit.

 

The difficulty is she thinks computers are "evil" so any relaxing time I may want to spend on a rainy day will be spent with her lurking over my shoulder constantly. :unsure:

 

I need to get a lap top for privacy.

 

But if I go, my net time will vanish. :lol:

 

 

 

Got half of a new bathing suit today, the other is on back order.

 

It's very lovely

 

 

Quote of the Day

 

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always."

 

Rita Rudner.

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Temperature: 78°F 26°C

Conditions: Fair

Winds: WSW 17 MPH WSW 27 KPH

Relative Humidity: 62%

Barometer: 29.84 Falling

Visibility: 10.00 Miles 16.09 Kilometers

Feels Like: 80°F

 

 

Tornado warning sirens went off last night during some rather strong thunderstorms.

 

It's amazing how well you can hear them with the windows shut, and the air conditioning on. <_< :unsure: :lol:

 

Rather bleary eyed from it, as I was already having difficulties sleeping, and was finally going out when they began to sound.

 

My neice arrives next week to decide if she likes this area of the country and to find a college to attend nursing school.

 

I'm hoping this is a wise choice on my behalf. She seems lost and I want to help her out.

 

However, with some of the issues occurring in my life right now, I need added stress like a fish needs a bicycle.

[Odo 0]

You can handle it butterfly She needs help with

Nursing let me know

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Thanks Odo <_<

 

She needs to "settle"

 

My brother is in the Navy and they've just gone from a dream posting, Honolulu to a Marine base in N. Carolina, and she wants the big city.

 

She's just not being realistic.

 

She wanted to go to a school here where tuition was $25K a year.

 

Nursing schools are all over the Chicago area, so hopefully she'll consider establishing residency and attend someplace more reasonable. :unsure:

[Odo 0]

You know Michigan has some of the best nursing

schools in the nation

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Yes, many of my high school friends went to U of M's nursing program.

[Odo 0]

I have my medical assiant and practical nurseing all i have to do is take the test to be a lpn. not sure i want to. To much paper not enough paitent care. witch i am

very good at. Not patting my self on the back its what my people say (paitents) say. yelled at for taking this week off. work in long term care .love what i do.

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Which hospital do you work at?

 

I always considered being a nurse, especially when one of my best friends tried to committ suicide with pills and I helped assist in the ER.

[Odo 0]

I work for ST Johns.

[Madame Butterfly 0]

I was born out of Mercy, even though Oakwood was much much closer.

 

Most everyone still back home uses William Beaumont.

[Odo 0]

Could be why i will not take my test.

See lots of room for improvement at St Johns.

 

Click For Spoiler

 

 

Also not sure i want to stay

[Madame Butterfly 0]

I think the thing that got to me when I was considering going back to school for nursing, was the paper work my friends spoke of.

 

I love paper work. <_< :unsure:

 

It's the schooling I don't like!! :lol:

 

I learned reiki and some other alternative healing. I'm interested in massage therapy and reflexology too.

[Odo 0]

Did not get into this line of work to write novels

but to care for people. yes update there charts

but man assesse this assesse that. where is the care to the people

[Madame Butterfly 0]

I had to have major surgery 3 years ago for tumors that were growing and pushing on my spine.

 

So I was in the hospital for a time.

 

One day I never saw my nurse because the paper work was so much.

 

Not that I minded, I slept nearly all day. <_<

 

But those who assist truly give the care.

 

If I decided on nursing, I would go into labor and delivery, and work towards midwifery I believe.

 

There is much joy and you do work so closely with the births.

 

That would be very satisfying for me.

[Odo 0]

i can say i love what i do but the non nursing care is fustrateing

ie the paper work.

[Lursa 0]

My job sucks. That's all that I can say! lol.

[Madame Butterfly 0]