Gummy's Two Cents

[Gummy 0]

Ok, here I go actually posting a real log entry.

First of all, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Gummy (a family nickname that we all share). I'm 47 (48 on October 31st). I am the father of two teenage boys (18 and 15), the older one lives with me and my youngest still lives with his mother. I am currently married although the current version (2.0) Mrs. Gummy is leaving soon. I have a career in Law Enforcement that spans 25 years. I love ALL THINGS TREK, Baseball, Hockey and pretty much all sports. I am a computer enthusiast. I love my country, although never having served in the Armed Forces. I have three other brothers (two older, one younger) and two sisters (one older and one younger). My parents are no longer with us. My father drowned in a boating accident when I was eight. My mother passed from a long illness in 1999. I am a Diabetic and am the Poster Boy for it. I also teach newly-diagnosed Diabetics on how to successfully live with this pesky disease. I lost a quarter of my left foot to Diabetes in 2004 and while legally handicapped, I refuse to use the parking permit and it angers me when I see others park in those spaces when they're just lazy. I live every day like it's my last and always remind myself that life is too short to be bitter about anything. I have worked for everything that I have and appreciate it more and more everyday. I like cats and dgos. I love seafood, pasta, ice cream (all either low card or sugar-free, depending on what it is).

Ok, I'll now take questions from the floor. :P

[Kor37 9]

In which direction does your toilet flush?.......... :P

[Gummy 0]

In which direction does your toilet flush?.......... :P

Counter-Clockwise.

I think....

Lemme check. I'll get back to you.

[Kira T Phaserman 0]

Wow, Sorry about your parents.. I wish i could get rid of my dad but it aint that easy...

[jadziaezri 0]

In which direction does your toilet flush?.......... :P

Counter-Clockwise.

I think....

Lemme check. I'll get back to you.

To paraphrase commandant Klink, " Van Roooooyyyy!!!"

 

What have we done to this place lol

 

Enjoying ur log gummy, in fact enjoying all your posts. you have brightened up this place. i enjoy reading your posts. You inspire me

[Kor37 9]

Wow Gummy! You're an inspiration! I've been called several other things on this board but never an inspiration. Very flattering!.. :P

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

To paraphrase commandant Klink, " Van Roooooyyyy!!!"

This time I didn't do it.

[Gummy 0]

In which direction does your toilet flush?.......... :P

Counter-Clockwise.

I think....

Lemme check. I'll get back to you.

To paraphrase commandant Klink, " Van Roooooyyyy!!!"

 

What have we done to this place lol

 

Enjoying ur log gummy, in fact enjoying all your posts. you have brightened up this place. i enjoy reading your posts. You inspire me

And thank you for the wonderful complement. My mother always said that I should have been a Presidential Speech Writer. She said that I had more baloney than anyone that she'd ever known. :P But, what I post in this log is from memory and is the truth. But mostly, it's from the heart.

 

My oldest son and his g/f just moved in with me. Being a full-time father again is a learning experience. I had almost forgotten what it was like. But it's kinda like riding a bike. Once you do it, you never forget. Having them both here is a breath of fresh air. I cherish their company as they do mine. Getting to know my son again is something that I look upon as getting a second chance in life. He's 18 and it seems like it was yesterday that I carried him into our house just days after he was born. It amazes me just how quickly time passes. One day, they're in diapers, the next, they're driving a car. And my youngest turns 16 in December and he'll be wanting to get his license too. My babies grew up too damn fast. Now, they're young men.

It's days like these that I look in the mirror and see some old guy looking back at me.

And it makes me want to say, "Dad? Is that you?"

[Kira T Phaserman 0]

Well, Gary and I are trying for another baby. Well not exactly trying were not trying but were not trying to hard not to. I'm already a mother but I don't have my son I wish I did but like people can read in my log its a complicated situation. But I enjoy being a parent you always learn something new.. and its too bad they arnt born with instruction manuals

[Odo 0]

Extremly good posts and advice lately

New title Gummy's 10 cents :P

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

Well, Gary and I are trying for another baby. Well not exactly trying were not trying but were not trying to hard not to. I'm already a mother but I don't have my son I wish I did but like people can read in my log its a complicated situation. But I enjoy being a parent you always learn something new.. and its too bad they arnt born with instruction manuals

It's your own life but consider how much harder it will be for your existing kid to believe you can't raise him if you have another one, especially a baby.

[Gummy 0]

I'm forced to agree with Van Roy on this one. To have another baby after telling your son that he can't live with you isn't going to bode well with your son. It will make his feel like he's unwanted and is being replaced. He'll think that he's done something wrong and that could have everlasting effects on him. It would be wise to wait on this. You're still young. You have time.

[Odo 0]

Gummy

From your posts you are a caring

and giving man and quite smart and

knowing.

my friends come to me and talk

i backing off from this one.

[Kor37 9]

I nominate Gummy to be the official StarTrekFans.net Therapist In Residence..... :P

[Odo 0]

I second that.

[Gummy 0]

You know it's funny that both Kor and Odo mentioned the therapist thing.

At times, I feel like I am a batting coach. Sometimes, a batting coach can teach someone how to hit, yet never quite master the art of hitting themselves. I have been able to help people solve their problems yet, mine go unresolved sometimes. I give advice when asked, but never offer it unsolicited. I base my suggestions upon what I have seen in my life and by the experiences of others around me. I can only offer my advice. It's up to the individual to decide whether or not it's sound advice for them.

Basically, I don't want to see others make the same mistakes in life that I've made and have paid dearly for.

My pain should never be felt by others.

[Kira T Phaserman 0]

Okay, Well heres the whole thing.. Heres the entire situation. James' God mother cannot have kids she was in a car accident and a piece of the metal from the car pirced her uterus and it had to be removed or she would die. James is the closest thing to a child she's got and I wouldn't want to take him from her. As well as his medical situation. I cant take care of him for that reason not to metion he needs to be in a warm climate and I am in a place where the weather is unpredicatable. James knows that no one could ever replace him and I have explained to him that the reason he cant come live with me is because of his medical conditions. He claims to understand I know its hard but he is happy where he is he just wishes him and I could see and talk more is what it really is

[Gummy 0]

I understand now. If you and Gary are ready, and by "ready" I mean, emotionally, physically and financially, then the diecision is yours. My oldest son is about a month older than you are. He knows that he's not ready to be a father. He and his girlfriend live with me. When they both moved in, I told them that I had two very basic and simple requests. 1) Pick up after yourselves and 2) Don't make me a Grandfather. Neither he nor his g/f are ready to be parents. So, you have to ask yourselves, both you and Gary, if you are indeed ready to take the next big step.

[Kira T Phaserman 0]

Gary is already a father of 4.... They live with his ex wife in cali. We all know Gary is ready and I know I am. I already have one. Gary and I are getting married and we want a family of our own. A family that we can come home to everynight and be like this is what I wanted this is what I live for. I am a very family oriantated person. That is my biggest goal in life is to have a family with the man I love and that man i love is Gary Phaserman. things didnt work out with his ex wife but Gary and I are perfect togther. We both understand that it is a big step but our relashionship has already been through alot and we are so happy with each other haveing a baby togther just seems so right

[Gummy 0]

Then if you both believe that you're ready, then go for it.

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

What kind of medical condition does your son have? I hate the cold with a (opposite of virgin) passion. I lived in Omaha for 2 winters, Ft. Lost-in-the-woods, MO for 2 winters, and South Korea for 1 winter so, believe me, I know cold! (It isn't as bad when you are skiing and have the option of warming up if you want to.) But I never heard of someone who was medically restricted to warm climates.

 

If you are ready then go for it, but I still suggest you not get pregnant until you have been married to Gary for a couple years and you can builld some savings. Gary is probably paying child support to Krissy which has to be a huge drain on the wallet. I would even wait on the marriage, at least until your fears of him go away. You have been through a lot and need time to heal. Right now you are in the infactuation stage of your relationship and it is dangerous to make such decisions in that condition. For all you know your fears might not go away and where does that leave your marriage and possible kid?

[Gummy 0]

It finally hit 70 degrees today. And to think that only five days ago, we got seven inches of snow in that Nor'Easter. Now it looks like Spring has finally arrived. Granted, it's about a month late, but it's finally here nonetheless.

My youngest son is staying with me for the weekend. He told me on the way here that he really misses his brother. He had tears in his eyes when he said it. That crushed me. The last thing that I wanted to do was to separate them. But my oldest has had enough of his mother and her unemployed live-in boyfriend. Speaking of which, the scumbag had the nerve to apply for a job where I work. He would have been hired if not for his CRIMINAL RECORD. So, I am waiting for my ex to call me and accuse me of being behind the plan to make sure that he didn't get the job. I wasn't behind the plan, but I did have a hand in doing the investigation. Now, dig this. The guy's 54 years old. He hasn't held a steady job since he got out of the Navy after (allegedly) serving 10 years. He has two kids that he doesn't pay support on (while I pay $800 a month for my two, until the court order gets changed, then because my oldest moved in with me, I will no longer have to pay support). He has a Criminal Record. And they met on the internet. She has given him access to her credit cards (which he promptly maxed out). He knows her PIN for her ATM card (really stupid move there). On his last job (about a month ago), he worked one day and then went out on Workman's Comp. The guy's a bum. Plain and simple.

Then I find out that the reason my ex wanted my oldest out of her house was so her boyfriend's kids can move in. This dude needs to sleep with the fishes. If he messes with my youngest's head, that may have to become a reality.

[Gary Phaserman 0]

What kind of medical condition does your son have? I hate the cold with a (opposite of virgin) passion. I lived in Omaha for 2 winters, Ft. Lost-in-the-woods, MO for 2 winters, and South Korea for 1 winter so, believe me, I know cold! (It isn't as bad when you are skiing and have the option of warming up if you want to.) But I never heard of someone who was medically restricted to warm climates.

 

If you are ready then go for it, but I still suggest you not get pregnant until you have been married to Gary for a couple years and you can builld some savings. Gary is probably paying child support to Krissy which has to be a huge drain on the wallet. I would even wait on the marriage, at least until your fears of him go away. You have been through a lot and need time to heal. Right now you are in the infactuation stage of your relationship and it is dangerous to make such decisions in that condition. For all you know your fears might not go away and where does that leave your marriage and possible kid?

 

 

 

I cant remember the name of it off hand all I know is that it thins his blood to the point that he cannot be in the cold for more then a couple mins or he can get very sick. Krissy's job pays better then Gary but Gary still sends what little money he can becasue hes not a dead beat dead.

 

As far as my mental condition, Gary and I can work through that I am already a mother and I know that I can set aside my issues for the good of my child so please do NOT get on to the subject of my fears or mental condition s because I can damn well take care of my child and Gary and I's marrige will not suffer. He already deals with me on a daily basis and my mental conditions and fears do not phase him in the least. Like you all ahve said he loves me and I love him so we will make it through if we want a child and think we are ready then dammit we will have a baby we already lost one child and I damn well aint gonna lose another..

 

 

by the way i didnt realize it but I posted as Gary.. this is acually Kira.. damn him for logging in and not telling me

[Gummy 0]

What kind of medical condition does your son have? I hate the cold with a (opposite of virgin) passion. I lived in Omaha for 2 winters, Ft. Lost-in-the-woods, MO for 2 winters, and South Korea for 1 winter so, believe me, I know cold! (It isn't as bad when you are skiing and have the option of warming up if you want to.) But I never heard of someone who was medically restricted to warm climates.

 

If you are ready then go for it, but I still suggest you not get pregnant until you have been married to Gary for a couple years and you can builld some savings. Gary is probably paying child support to Krissy which has to be a huge drain on the wallet. I would even wait on the marriage, at least until your fears of him go away. You have been through a lot and need time to heal. Right now you are in the infactuation stage of your relationship and it is dangerous to make such decisions in that condition. For all you know your fears might not go away and where does that leave your marriage and possible kid?

 

 

 

I cant remember the name of it off hand all I know is that it thins his blood to the point that he cannot be in the cold for more then a couple mins or he can get very sick. Krissy's job pays better then Gary but Gary still sends what little money he can becasue hes not a dead beat dead.

 

As far as my mental condition, Gary and I can work through that I am already a mother and I know that I can set aside my issues for the good of my child so please do NOT get on to the subject of my fears or mental condition s because I can damn well take care of my child and Gary and I's marrige will not suffer. He already deals with me on a daily basis and my mental conditions and fears do not phase him in the least. Like you all ahve said he loves me and I love him so we will make it through if we want a child and think we are ready then dammit we will have a baby we already lost one child and I damn well aint gonna lose another..

 

 

by the way i didnt realize it but I posted as Gary.. this is acually Kira.. damn him for logging in and not telling me

Don't you just hate it when that happens? :blink:

[Theunicornhunter 2]

Gummy, I have enjoyed reading your posts - although I have wondered about the name Gummy - I can't help thinking of a toothless old man when I see the name. :blink:

 

Sounds like your ex-wife found herself a real "charmer" - I can never understand why women latch on to men like that. :(

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

Don't you just hate it when that happens? :blink:

Now she has Gary talking about himself in the third person.

[Gummy 0]

Gummy, I have enjoyed reading your posts - although I have wondered about the name Gummy - I can't help thinking of a toothless old man when I see the name. :blink:

 

Sounds like your ex-wife found herself a real "charmer" - I can never understand why women latch on to men like that. :(

Actually, it's a family nickname. It's a shortened version of "Gummerson", the family surname. My father was called Gummy. His father was too, as are my brothers and that's pretty much how I became known as Gummy too. Even the rookies on the job call me that. I'm kinda the grizzled old veteran that the young cops look towards for wisdom and knowledge.

My ex. One look at her and you will see that the years haven't been kind to her. She's definitely not the same woman that I married 23 years ago. She's changed and not for the better. She has become so desperate that she was going to take anything that was willing to give her a second look. My kids tell me that all of the guys she's hooked up with are major league losers. The present guy saw money, a home, new car, DirecTV, Central Air Conditioning, and saw that it was better than the cardboard box that he was living in. Even her co-workers and family can see that he's using her. They've tried to tell her that much, but she's not listening to anyone. And Common Sense is something that she just does not have. Common Sense is a wonderful thing. Sadly, less than half of the world has it. Guess which half she falls into? Even her own father said that I was the best thing that ever happened to her. Well, she blew that and it's her loss. My main mission is to raise my kids to be the best humans that they can be. It is my mission. It IS my goal. For they are the center of my universe.

[Kira T Phaserman 0]

You know I do hate when I cant think of stuff and by the way I was VERY drunk last night when I posted that thing under Gary's name. Anyway, Gummy, you sound like a good father, and I am sorry things with your ex didnt work out. You just gotta find the right person I guess. Trust me I've had alot of bad men before I found Gary. Then again I am not as old as you lol but as I've been told I have had more happen to me in my life time then most 50 years old have had in theres. *sigh*

[Gummy 0]

What's funny is the fact that my ex and I used to be good friends. In fact, we were better friends than lovers.

We work together (she on the midnight shift and I on the Day Tour). While I hate what she has become, She is still the mother of my children. She is so blind to the fact that her new boyfriend is such a scumbag. I hate to say it, but I think it's only a matter of time before he rips her off and leaves town with her money. But I know that she won't come crying to me. Because she knows where Sympathy is in the dictionary. Right between *poopie* and Syphilis. :blink:

[Kira T Phaserman 0]

My ex husband and I don't talk at all. He cheated on me with 5 woman not something I am very proud of. But Him and I were amazeing friends I guess thats why we thought we could make marriage work I didnt realize how much of a cheating scumbag he was