Lubak10's Log

[Lubak10 0]

9/15/04

 

I went to see you at the pole for the first time and I loved it! It was awesome to be with all the other Christians at the school and pray with them. There was a real sense of fellowship among us. The best part was when I joined the group there were only a few people there but as time went on more and more people joined us until we had a huge group. See you at the pole also revved up my faith, which I needed. Lately I haven't been able to feel God in the way I used to and I've been praying that I could get that wonderful feeling back, and He finally answered my prayers. All day I wanted nothing more then to break out in a worship song. It's so wonderful to be able to feel God's love again! It made me miss SpringHill where I could worship all day but then I realized that I could do that here too. All I need to do is make everything I do for Jesus and I can keep this amazing feeling. I wish I could describe the way I feel. I've never felt so on top of the world. I could never get this from anything sinful, even though I've tried. I love it! I love Jesus!

My first night lab for Astronomy is tonight. It might not last long because there are supposed to be storms around midnight which will mean a lot of clouds before-hand. Hopefully it will be clear enough for us to see something.

 

 

Pay no attention to what the critics say... Remember, a statue has never been

set up in honor of a critic!

- Jean Sibelius

[Lubak10 0]

9/16/04

 

Angie can really tick me off when she wants to. I love her and wouldn't have her any other way then the way she is, but she can be so annoying sometimes. A friend of ours, Melissa, is having some boy trouble that she told angie about and told angie not to tell anyone else about it. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal but for the past week ang has had this "i know something you don't know" attitude about her. She's never actually said that but she'll drop hints here and there that there is something going on that I don't know about. And then today after school she starts to talk about it with Melissa right in front of me saying things like "so what are you going to do about 'the situation'?" The fact that Mel doesn't want to tell me about it doesn't bother me, I've got secrets that I don't tell her or anyone else for that matter, it's the fact that Angie is flaunting it in my face. And it's not even her secret. *makes frustrated noise*

Nothing happened at the Astronomy lab last night. It was to cloudy for us to see anything so we just hung out for a while then left. I got to talk with Kellie which was cool. I haven't hung out with her since June and we don't have any classes together this year so I haven't seen her that often. I was a bit bummed that it was canceled but such is life.

 

 

It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information.

-- Oscar Wilde

[Lubak10 0]

9/19/04

 

I went to the Kiwanis club's annual golf outing today and it was pretty fun. I won an award for worst shot which was fun and not fun at the same time. My game wasn't that bad but on hole 14 I hit an electric pole and it ended up on the green of the hole next to me. The owner of the golf course is also my coach and he got a good laugh out of it. Spring needs to get here so I can play golf everyday for free (my coach lets the team play for free during the season). Not much else is going on. I found out that the best drink in the world is a double tall mocha from Starbucks. School is tomorrow and so is Angie's B-day. I made her Happy Birthday fliers on Friday so I'm going to school early to put them up before she gets there. That's about it.

 

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

Harry S Truman

[Lubak10 0]

9/22/04

 

I finally scheduled my driver's test! It's on a bad day though. This Saturday is the People to People reunion which is at 4pm and my driver's test is a 6pm and the place where the reunion is being held is 45 minutes from where I live so that only gives me an hour at the party. The only reason I scheduled it for Saturday is because the only times they had during the week in September were right after school and my mom can't get out of work until at least 5pm. It was either Saturday or wait till October and I definitely didn't want to do that. I've been 16 for about 2 months and I don't want to wait any longer then I have to.

My Brit Lit class had the "your junior year is your most important year" speech today. It wasn't very interesting but it gave me a lot of good information. I can't wait till college. I'm sick of high school and can't wait till it's over. I'm thinking about going to the University of Michigan right now. I know it has a good social work program and it's in Ann Arbor which I love! Obviously I need to do a bit more research but so far that's my #1 choice. I'm also thinking about Central and Northern Michigan. I know I will definitely not go to Michigan State. It's way to close to home plus tons of people from my family have been there which is a major minus. I will be very surprised if I go there. I should go do my homework so all this time thinking about colleges doesn't go to waste.

 

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

- Doug Larson

[Ace 0]

Good luck on the driver's test, Lubak!

[Lubak10 0]

9/24/04

 

Thanks Ace! I went to a local church yesterday that always has the cones for drivers' tests to practice and I did really well. I only hit one cone all three times I went through the test and every time would be a pass. It boosted my confidence until Angie told me that she did well practicing but when she took the test she was one point away from failing on the cone part. I'm still not very nervous. When I first started driver's ed I thought for sure I would be a nervous wreck when I took my test but so far I've been fine. I'm a little nervous now but that's probably about what me and Angie are planing to do Sunday. She went to the Secretary of State today and got her temporary license so we want to drive up to our friend, Al's, house so her parents can sign a form that will let her come to our Homecoming dance. We're planing on going to the dance then leaving early and going to a movie all dressed up cause it sounds like fun. I'm not big on dances so if we can't get the forms signed and all we can do is go to the movie I wont be sad. I'll hopefully have my license by then too so I'll be able to do some of the driving. Angie's parents only want her driving with one friend at a time until she's used to driving without a parent so she can't be the sole driver on Homecoming. I should go call Al now and get things worked out with her.

I'm so glad I don't have much homework this weekend. With the P2P reunion and my driver's test Saturday is gone and if me and Angie go to Al's my Sunday is gone too.

 

 

Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.

- Edward Abbey

[Lubak10 0]

9/25/04

 

I PASSED!!!!!!!! I'm so happy that I never have to think about driver's ed again. I still have to go to the Secretary of State before I can drive by myself, but my parents promised that would be soon. Definitely before Homecoming. They also shot down the idea of me and Angie driving to Al's by ourselves. It would have been cool but at least now I don't have to go to the dance.

[Ace 0]

Congrats! :( I knew you'd do fine. :(

[Lubak10 0]

Thanks Ace!

 

9/26/04

 

I'm doing some major cleaning today. My mom bought me these storage bins to give me another place to store stuff and I'm using that to do a major overhaul on my room. I've been working for about 1 1/2 hours and I'm still not even close to being done. Of course my cleaning method doesn't help time wise. Basically I put all of my junk onto my bed, get all the dust and trash thrown away, and then organize the junk. I think I started to do it that way so I had to finish the job if I want to sleep. The fact that I'm menstruating and am all cramped up and tired doesn't help but I guess I'll just have to deal.

I need to get online and find out what the Secretary of State's hours are so I can go get my license. One of the best parts about getting to drive is I can go to Crosswalk, which is this youth group that a lot of kids from my school go to. I've always wanted to go but the Church where it is at is a long way from where I live and my parents are too busy to drive me there every week. Now I can do it myself.

I went to the People to People reunion yesterday. I was only there for an hour but it was fun. I got two disks of pictures which was nice. Mom said she would help me start my scrapbook soon. I saved everything from the trip for my scrapbook so it will be nice to start it. I should go finish my room. :(

[Lubak10 0]

9-28-04

 

I'm so happy! Angie finally burned me an Avenue Q cd, so now I can listen to "Everyones a little bit racist", "There's a fine fine line" and "If you were gay" whenever I want! I still wish I could see it with her in New York but such is life. She said that she would get me Wicked soon which will make me even happier.

Right now I've got a really cute cat named Thor on my lap which makes it hard to type but he's so cute that I can't kick him off.

My house almost burned down last night, sort of. I got out of the shower and could smell something burning. At first I thought it was just some bug that had gotten caught in the lamp but I decided to tell my mom about it anyway. It took us a while to figure out but it turned out that my mom had been steaming beans and she accidentally left the pot on the stove and left the stove on. If someone hadn't noticed the stove probably would have caught fire. Freaky. It seems like these sort of things always happen when my Dad is gone. A year or two ago my Dad went to Washington DC and while he was gone we got 17 inches of snow. Then last year my Dad went to Florida for business and our furnace blew. Then another time when he went away our basement flooded. It's gotten so that I don't like it when he leaves not only because I miss him but because I'm afraid the house will blow up or something .

 

 

Watch yourself. In this modern world we live in, there are plenty of Tuesdays just waiting for you to let your guard down.

-Unknown

[Lubak10 0]

10-2-04

 

I miss Kristie, Joe, and Bobbi. Last night at homecoming there were a few moments that I enjoyed but most of the night I was thinking "I wish I were with Kristie, Joe, and Bobbi having fun." When I was with them I could totally be myself but when I'm with Angie and my other friends I always have to watch what I do and say for fear of getting criticized. I hate it!

I also hate high schoolers that are very passionate about their political beliefs even though they don't pay attention to any of the issues. They base their opinions on little things they hear here and there. For example, my school's newspaper was passing out these questionnaires about the election for an article and Angie filled out one. She's extremely anti-Bush and said so in the questionnaire but when she got to the last question, which was "How do you think the media is doing with covering the election?" and she left it blank because "I haven't really been watching." I don't pay attention either but at least I'm not pretending that I know.

[Lubak10 0]

10-4-04

 

Saturday was my first night out with my friends with no parents! It was fun but also a bit freaky. I ended up coming home early cause I was still feeling crappy from my cold and I knew it would only get worse as the night went on. First we went to this ice cream place called The Parlor. They have this special called "Dare to be Great" which is 20 scoops of ice cream. My friends and I got the baby DTBG and the four of us could only eat half of it. It was huge! After that we went to Barnes and Noble. Not much happened there. The night was a lot of fun.

 

I need to get started on my homework soon. I have to write a Supreme Court brief for law class and I need to start on my fall project for Brit Lit, plus a few other little things. I'm glad I got my math done in class.

 

 

"Now out of that 50, how many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with G'Kar's teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?"

"All of them?"

"Sounds right. And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to give quadrant 37 to the Narns. I think I will stick my head in the station's fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while I might even come to enjoy it. But this -- this, this, this is like being nibbled to death by .. what are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet .. go 'quack' .."

"Cats."

"Cats. I'm being nibbled to death by cats."

Londo and Vir

[Lubak10 0]

10/11/04

 

Wow! I haven't posted in a while. I guess school's been keeping me busier then I thought.

 

I went to my Grandparent's house this past weekend. The high point was when I was upstairs doing my homework. I'm so opposite of this side of the family that it's not even funny. Especially when I could be in New York with my best friend watching two musicals that we've wanted to see for a year and meeting John Tartaglia :angry: :) :lol: (I can't believe she actually got a picture with him!). Family id definitely not my thing. Maybe it's just a teenage thing but that's the way things are.

 

The PSAT is on Wednesday. I'm really nervous because I haven't been studying like I should. I really hope I do well. I don't think I'd be that nervous but everyone keeps pounding it into my head about how important this is. It's really annoying!

 

Book club is tomorrow, thank God! The book we're reading is called The Angel Factory and it's pretty good so far. It's a very easy read compared to what I'm used to but I like it.

 

After dinner mom said me and her would go to some cell phone store and talk about plans with some guy from Verison Wireless. I seriously doubt I'll walk away with a phone but at least it's a step in the right direction.

[WEAREBORG4102 0]

I suggest T-mobile. Their plan is cheaper and they have better phones....

[RikerChick 5]

My husband has sold both T-Mobile and Verizon. T-Mobile is cheaper but it's because they have the worst coverage of anyone nationwide and lousy customer service, Verizon is definitely your best bet.

[Lubak10 0]

My sister is officially cool! *happily licks the spoon covered in brownie batter her sister gave her*

[Lubak10 0]

10-15-04

 

I was so close to asking this guy, Zach, out this morning. There's a youth group friday mornings at my school and me and him are usually the first ones there. Unfortunately as I was working up the courage to do it someone else walked in. Maybe next week.

 

Me, Angie, and Melissa went to Schuler's again. The only difference was that Angie's four year old sister, Lindsey, came along too. She's cute but , WOW, is she difficult! She got about 30 books to the spot where we were sitting and spread them everywhere. Then she proceeded to walk all over the books and when we told her to stop she started to jump on them. She was also grabbing our books and hiding them. We had to bribe her with ice cream to make her behave. After we left I was driving home and realized that my curfew was 11:30 and it was only 11:00, so I drove around for about 20 minutes and listened to music. It was a good night. I forgot to tape Enterprise but I can catch it on Sunday.

 

 

'So you think *I'm* the murderer? What do I have to do to convince you that I'm

not, be the next victim?'

'Well, that would be a start.'

-- Cary Grant & Audrey Hepburn, "Charade" (really good movie!)

[Lubak10 0]

10-19-04

 

School is definitely cutting down on my free time. I used to post everyday but now I'm lucky to get two entries a week. oh well. It'll all pay off in the end.

 

I went to book club after school. We finished up The Angel Factory (good book with a BAD ending) and since the teacher involved is the art intern we got to do charcoal drawings relating to the book. It was so much fun! We're going to hang them in the library. I'll try to get a picture of mine to post here. The next book we're reading is Ender's Game . I started it in 6th grade but never finished it. So far I like what I've read.

 

I don't have much homework tonight so I should probably keep working on my Beowulf project. I only have 2 1/2 weeks left. Angie hasn't even started her's yet. And she seems so calm about it. I'm freaking out about how much work I have and I'm about half done. Oh well. It's her grade.

 

 

To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.

-- Joan Klempner

[Lubak10 0]

10-27-04

 

I can't believe it's been so long since i last updated. I guess I just kept putting it off. Last friday I helped my dad move books out of storage and helped set them up for our local libraries book sale. The whole thing took about 3 hours but it was fun. Plus I got to buy the books I wanted before the sale even started. Since the books were only 25 cents each I grabbed every book I wanted, which surprisingly wasn't that many. I probably would have gotten more but I was so tired by the end that I didn't feel like browsing. I got Clear and Present Danger, The Princess Bride, Ender's Shadow, Angels and Demons, Fahrenheit 451, and Jurassic Park: The Lost World.

 

I finally got my cell phone! I love it! The only bad part is that I can't get any free ringtones cause my service provider is Verizon Wireless. My mom needed that provider because she travels a lot within the state and Verizon has the best coverage plan. I've downloaded 3 so far but I had to pay about 4.50 for them. I guess that's life.

 

I've got a choir concert today but I don't really want to go. Once I'm there I'll probably be glad I went but right now I just want to stay home.

 

 

What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?

-- Irv Kupcinet

[Lubak10 0]

11-1-04

 

I'm so glad that tomorrow is election day! Finally all these campaign calls and commercials will stop! I'm about to go insane!

 

I met with a rep from Northern Michigan University during 3rd hour. It's a pretty good school and I like it a lot. I'm definitely going to apply there even though I haven't decided if it's the school I want to go to yet. The biggest plus about the school is that it's 7 hours away form home which is the farthest I'll be able to get away and still be in the same state. Out-of-state tuition is too expensive right now, especially when there are so many good schools in Michigan. Since my family is staying home during Christmas break me and my parents are going to go college cruising and Northern will be one of our stops. The rep said to visit in winter because Northern Michigan is in the Upper Peninsula and if you can't handle the cold for the day or two that you will be there then you wont be able handle it full time.

 

In choir we had a group of singers called Soul visit. They are an international group that goes to high schools to teach choirs about music from different countries. They're going to be here all week and diversity club is having a potluck on Thursday to thank them for coming. I'm going to try to go but I'll have to wait and see what my homework is like that night.

 

 

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.

-- Edith Sitwell

[Lubak10 0]

11-6-04

 

I just finished watching the movie "Saved!" and its got me all weirded out. the feeling has faded a bit since I was watching it. I don't really know how to explain it. I don't think I liked the movie very much. It took and extremely liberal (I think that's the right word) view of the Bible and God's will, and I don't necessarily agree with that. Then again, this might not even be the problem. When the movie ended I wanted to talk about it with someone and my sister seemed the logical choice since she had just watched it with me, but i didn't want to because that would have gotten deep and we don't talk about deep things like that. I really wanted to call a friend but then I realized that I didn't have any friends that I was close enough to to call this late at night to talk about confusing emotions with. I went to the Christ All In All chat room hoping someone would be there but it was empty. I even did a search on Yahoo for Christian chat rooms but ended badly. It also occurred to me that my Dad isn't a Christian and I desperately want him to be. I don't want him to not be there in heaven. When he dies i want to be able to see him again. Then it also occurs to me that it's partly my fault he's not saved. I should be talking to him more about Jesus. Now is the perfect time! He's sitting across from me reading. I just don't know what to say that I haven't already said. this is so hard. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry. I have no idea what to do!

[Lubak10 0]

11-8-04

 

I HATE my mom! Everything that happens is my fault no matter what. And I can't fight back or make my point cause then she just gets madder and I end up grounded. I can't wait to go to college just so I can get away from her! I love my dad and will miss him but I will be so happy when I don't have to see her everyday. One of the biggest pluses about Northern Michigan University is that it's 7 hours away so I'll have an excuse for not coming down very often. I hate my mom! I actually like her busy month when I can go three days without seeing her since she comes home late and leaves early. If she died the only thing I would be worried about is what our finances would be like with only one working parent. She's so unfair! One of my friends doesn't want to grow up and is trying to hold onto her childhood as long as she can (and she's older then I am) and my mom praises her for it, yet she yells at me to get off my butt and get a job. WHAT'S THAT! I hate her so much!!!!!

[Lubak10 0]

11-30-04

 

I love book club! It's so much fun! The only problem is we hardly ever talk about the book because we end up going off on so many tangents. Plus only half of us actually read the book. Today wasn't that bad though. We spent about 1/3 of the time on the book, Eragon, and a good section of the rest of the time was spent talking about moral issues that came up in the book. Right now I should be doing research for my death penalty paper but I'm a lazy bum. I wont have time the rest of the night because in about 30 minutes I have to pick up my mom from work and right after that I need to go babysit and replenish my Christmas money, which is currently at $0.00. I still need to buy my mom a Catholic study Bible cause I know she's wanted one but never got around to buying it, and I'm getting my dad a Scrabble puzzle book which will make him even better then he already is. That guy is insanely smart with words! The present that I'm probably going to buy with tonights money since I need to give it to them before Christmas, is a photo album for my Grandparents. I'm going to fill it with pictures of the whole family.

 

 

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or

she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

-- Kurt Vonnegut

[Lubak10 0]

12-3-04

 

Life is confusing and weird. Especially right now for some reason. Maybe because I just realized that I don't have any friends. I have people I hang out with but I don't have any real friends. Not anyone I can call and talk through all the emotional crap I'm going through or anything like that. Angie used to be my best friend. Now everything she does gets on my nerves. She's a very controlling person and I've always been really shy so she's used to getting her way. Now that I've come out of my shell giving her anything she wants disgusts me and even if it's warranted I feel like I'm rolling over again. The other night we were driving home and she was in the right lane and I was in the left. The lanes were merging and I was supposed to let her over, but i just couldn't let her win again so I sped up and cut her off. Then I did it again later on in the night. When I think back it was a stupid thing to do and I wish I hadn't done it, but a part of me rejoices in the fact that I won. It's stupid, but there it is.

Am I just some sort of stupid self-absorbed maniac? I certainly feel like it. All I ever think about is me and how doing something will make me look. I hate it. I hate me. Life sucks! The weirdest thing is that I like being this way. I want to change, but I don't. Things have been working for me this far. They haven't been working well but they've been working. Maybe I'm just worried that if I change it will be for the worst and things wont work at all.

[Lursa 0]

Sister Don't cry.... cause i am here for you. Through the good times and the bad times. I know exactly what you are going through, because that is what i am going through right now. I don't know who are my friends and who are my enemies. I have no friends, in reality only people who think that they are my friends. These are the same people who are trying to hurt my feelings and turn against me for no reason. I don't anything about my family and no cares about me. So, sista if you need someone to talk to i am here for you and you im me at MajorKira04 on aol. We can talk, and you can let your feelings out to me if you would like. Maybe we can be good online friends. I think that you are a great person and who cares who thinks what of you. I love you and all the people on Star Trek fans love you as well. You can pm me or e-mail anytime i will answer you.

[Lubak10 0]

12-23-04

 

Thanks Lursa. That means a lot to me and I will definetly take you up on your offer sometime.

 

It's been a while since I last posted. I guess that school and Christmas have been keeping me busy. I've gotten most of my presents already. Last weekend I was at my grandparents and the weekend before that I was at my cousin's house. On Christmas day I'll be at home which will be kinda boring because I'm used to being at a relatives house where there are lots of people around. Oh well.

 

Last night was horrible! For some reason, no matter what I did, I couldn't get warm. Even when I had several sweaters on and lots of blankets on my bed. I could tell I was sweating because of all the layers but it was like my insides were frozen. Plus my skin was all tingly, like the way your foot feels when your circulation has been cut off. Around midnight I took some Tylenol PM and that put me to sleep. I'm fine now but I still don't know what was wrong.

[Lubak10 0]

12-25-04

 

I love Christmas! It's second only to Easter cause even though the birth of Jesus is cool, his resurrection is even cooler. I was watching this program on the three kings and I found out that the start they followed was actually Jupiter. I thought it was kinda cool.

 

I know Christmas isn't about the presents, but you can't not love that part. My Dad got me another set of science fiction radio shows. I now have a total of 18 episodes. I also got a DVD of The Count of Monte Cristo (really good movie and really good book!) and I got Jesus Christ Superstar. You can definitely tell it was made in the 70's cause it's really weird and kinda trippy. My Mom got me a facial from Douglas J. I can't wait to cash that in!

 

This morning I went for a walk while listening to one of my new CDs and I found out just how cold it can it (btw, it's 8 degrees right now). My legs went numb very quickly and my face felt like it was on fire because of the wind. But I survived it and got to thaw out while watching A Christmas Story (which I see at least 2 times every Christmas season) and drinking a mocha made by my wonderful Dad. This has been a very good Christmas!

[WEAREBORG4102 0]

well, actually, the Bible never says how many kings there are. In addition, the Persian Sasanid empire was based on Zoroastrianism, its state religion. Their main prophets were known as Magi.

[Lubak10 0]

The three kings I was talking about were the three kings that followed the star to Bethlehem and gave gifts to Jesus. I wasn't saying that they were the only kings.

[Lubak10 0]

1-8-05

 

These next few days are going to be some of the worst of my life! Next week is *scary music plays* FINALS WEEK! *screams* I'm taking a study break and I don't look forward to going back. Finals start on Wednesday and my first two are Astronomy and British literature. Astro I'm not too worried about but Brit Lit is by far my worst final. I'm glad it will be over the first day. I can't wait till next semester when I don't have a final in Brit Lit. * Does happy dance* I should get back to studying. Wish me luck!