Lubak10's Log

[Lubak10 0]

Things are weird right now. I feel like I'm at some sort of crossroad. On one hand, I love photography so much and doing it for the rest of my life as a career would be one of the greatest things that could ever happen to me. On the other hand, that kind of life starts out with a lot of uncertainty. The only guarantee in that business is that it will cost a lot of money to get started. Until you get really well known and get a contract with a magazine or something there's no guarantee that your photos will make money, and I don't know if I could live with that kind of uncertainty. I know I wouldn't be happy just opening a studio and taking family and senior pictures. And the plans I have now involve a life of helping people and possibly even a job at SpringHill, both of which I want. I suppose I could do photography as a hobby, but it's an expensive hobby and a social worker doesn't make that much money. I don't know what to do. I know that I don't need to decide now but I feel like very soon I will either have to keep going on the path I'm on or head off in another direction.

[Kor37 9]

You can become part of the Papparazzi and stalk celebrities!!!

[Lubak10 0]

Really really really really really really cool news! I entered this contest at the community library for harry potter tickets, and i won, which is cool but it's not the really cool part. The tickets are for the IMAX show, but even that's not the really really really really really really cool news, which is that the tickets are for a pre-screening show this saturday! how cool is that! I get to see harry potter on IMAX with the press before everyone else!

[Lursa 0]

I am not a fan of Potter, but it is always cool to be ahead of the game!

[Lubak10 0]

I saw Harry Potter today and it was frickin awesome! It pissed me off something awful because they left out huge plot points that are necessary for later movies, but what they did put in was fantastic. I don't want to say too much for those who haven't seen it, but I will say this: The ferret scene nearly made me pee my pants it was so hilarious!

[Odie 0]

I can understand why it would get mad that they will leave out current plot points. But the book is very long! The movie can't cover everything that is in the book. For awhile they where planning to make it in 2 movies.

[Lursa 0]

You can only make so many movies lol!

[Lubak10 0]

I love book sales!!!! I bought about 20 books for under $5! Normally I'd have to pay more then that for one! w00t! Here are the books I got:

 

A Man for all Seasons by Bolt

Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare

Henry IV part 1 by Shakespeare

The Stranger by Camus

Paradise Lost by Milton

The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky

Hedda Gabler by Ibsen

Pygmalion by Shaw

The Emperor Jones by O'Neill

Four Great Plays By Ibsen

Canterbury Tales by Chaucer

Richard II by Shakespeare

King Lear by Shakespeare

Jude The Obscure by Hardy

Tess of the D'Ubervilles by Hardy

Bridges of Madison County by Waller

Dandelion Wine by Bradbury

King John by Shakespeare

[Lubak10 0]

This morning was fantastic! I had to drive my mom to school but when my alarm went off i decided i didn't want to get up, so i hit the snooze button. Then i repeated the process until my mom woke me up and told me it was time to leave, so i just put a sweatshirt over my pajamas and made sure to stop at Starbucks on the way home.

 

I want to either have a camera or be in the darkroom so badly! Words cannot express how much i want to be doing something involved with photography right now. I don't know if it is just because I'm in an extra creative mood or because I'm feeling slightly depressed.

 

This Thanksgiving I'm going to my mom's parent's house, and I'm wondering how things will be. When it comes to family and me, it's hit or miss. The one good thing about lots of break-work is that if things start to look like they will be a miss i can escape to by room and people have to leave me alone.

 

if you know my cell number, call me (especially you, Al)! the distraction will be welcome.

[Lubak10 0]

I have senioritis sooooooooo bad right now, and of course this is the worst day for me to get it. I've got a research paper due tomorrow and a huge history test on Wednesday which means I have to finish the coverpages for all three chapters! ahhhhhhhhhhh! Not to mention FST homework and finishing my Youth Connections work that I didn't get to work on during break because I left the folder in my locker. So, you see, although this is not the busiest I've been, it's a very bad time for senioritis to set in.

[Lubak10 0]

So, my computer speakers stopped working about a week ago and they suddenly just started working again today. Weird! Now I'm listening to Rent when I should be studying for my history test tomorrow.

[Lubak10 0]

It's official. I'm boring. Some of presents I want for Christmas are study guides for the AP tests and a flashdrive so I can work at the library when I there after school and I don't have to rely on unreliable disks. That and a good 90% of my time is filled with homework (Christmas break that number will jump up to 130%). I'm going out to lunch with Jessi on Monday, so at least I have one fun thing going on in my life. I'm pretty excited to see Jessi. Last year we saw each other every day and were practically attached at the hip, and now we're lucky to see each other once a week.

 

I have become a Law and Order freak! I watch one of the versions almost everyday. It is quite possibly the best show with the best spin-offs ever!

[Lubak10 0]

Why am I so depressed all the time? Why can't something exciting happen so my blog entries aren't full of depressing. I've got a youth connections project I should get started on soon that part of me is looking forward to and part of me is intensely dreading. It's a self-evaluation project that asks lots of hard questions about religion, self-worth, beauty, ethnic backround, economic backround, etc. and how these elements make us who we are. Because the point is for us to be totally honest with ourselves, P-Shot told us that if there were any parts that were too personal all we had to do was tell her not to read those parts and she would find a way to grade it without reading it. That means that I have no reason not to be completely honest and I'm a bit scared at what I'll find. This definitely wont be a project that I do in the car or while watching TV. I'll probably end up locking myself in my room for a few hours at a time so I can write by myself and get as emotional as I want. Unfortunately, I'll also have huge chunks of AP English and APUSH I'll need to do as well.

[Lubak10 0]

So, I go to church for religious ed and today we were supposed to wrap giving tree presents. I go to my classroom down in the basement and it's dark and locked. Then I think "well, the wrapping party is something all the classes are doing, so maybe we're meeting in the cafeteria area so we can all be one big group." When I get to the cafeteria all the supplies anyone could ever want to wrap presents is there, but no people. I figure these are high school students so maybe they're late. I wait around a bit. "ok, maybe they're meeting somewhere else first." I look everywhere and there are people around but they're all doing other things. So, finally i get fed up, write a note saying that I'd been there but no one showed up, leave my presents near the wrapping paper, and leave. I stopped to see Jessi and remind her of our lunch date tomorrow, which perked me up a bit, but I'm still pretty pissed off. Mostly because this isn't the first time something like this has happened, and I can't figure out if the problem is with me or with them.

[Lursa 0]

I that feeling. When you want to have fun and help out and everyone does show up. The best thing you can do is show up and be happy. It is hard to I know!

[Lubak10 0]

I'm sick today. I hate being sick. :blink: At least I get a day to work on my Great Gatsby reduction.

[Lubak10 0]

I get to go to SpringHill again! Woohoo for me! A friend of mine is going for a winter retreat with her youth group and since they had spots open she invited me! I'm sooooooooooooo excited! I LOVE SPRINGHILL! This means I have to get all my homework done before I go since this is happening the last weekend of break, which wont be easy but totally worth it!

[Lubak10 0]

I'm still thinking about SpringHill. It's taking up almost all of my brain space. The rest of the brain space is being taken by (SpringHill) my two new CDs, "Assassins" and "Jekyll and Hyde." I love em and have been listening non-stop. I wish I could go to the TST reunion at Tim's house but it's not working out well with (SpringHill) all the homework I have and the fact that I'm leaving for my grandparent's tomorrow. I want to go (SpringHill) so bad! I miss my TSTers so much!

[Lubak10 0]

Al's coming tomorrow! I'm so excited!

[Kor37 9]

Al's coming tomorrow! I'm so excited!

 

 

Al Bundy?...............

[Lubak10 0]

Al's coming tomorrow! I'm so excited!

 

Al Bundy?...............

 

 

lol! No, my friend Al, who's a girl because Al is short for Alyse.

[KIMIMELA 1]

Al's coming tomorrow! I'm so excited!

 

 

Al Bundy?...............

 

:) :) :)

[Lursa 0]

Spring Hill? I have never heard of that show. Can you tell me what it is all about?

[Lubak10 0]

SpringHill is not a show, it's a camp I go to in the summer and they hold retreats in the winter.

 

 

So, right now I'm debating whether or not I should make myself a cappuccino or not. I'm working on about 5 hours of sleep (sleep that was on a couch with a really crappy pillow, so it's not even good sleep) and I could use the caffeine, but I'm worried that when I come down off the buzz I'll come down hard and I don't want to miss any part of SpringHill because I was half-asleep. Meh, what the hell, they'll have coffee at SpringHill that I can load up on. Why do I only have 5 hours of sleep, you ask? Yesterday Al came to visit and I was up till about 3 or 4ish in the morning tie-dyeing t-shirts (oooo! remind me to tell you that story!) and watching Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (really great movie!) and Sweeney Todd (creepiest musical I've ever seen in my life!). I also can't eat anything that's even been near sugar for a month because Angie had a bunch of Christmas chocolate at her house and we all ate quite a bit of it.

 

Ok, here's the tie-dye story. I am now a Spock hippie girl. Al made us all shirts that had the symbol on it that the hippie girls wear in The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins and then we tie-died them. How fun! I'll put a picture on here soon. If you have no idea what I'm talking about then go here: http://www.tolkiencollector.com/bilbo5.mov

 

I had something else I wanted to talk about but I forgot and I need to go pack anyway.

[Lubak10 0]

I think I figured out where I want to go to college (that is, if I survive senior year first). I'd narrowed it down to Grand Valley and Spring Arbor, and I'm 95% sure that I'm going to be at Grand Valley this fall. I love both colleges and it came down to cost. Since Spring Arbor is a Christian college it costs much more then GV. Even with scholarships it would still be more then GV would without. I don't feel the way I expected to now that the decision is over. I thought I would feel excited and relieved, but I don't feel much different. Maybe I just need more time to let it sink in. Or it could be that the history project and finals are weighing to heavily on me right now. I'm going to Grand Valley. Ok, now the butterflies are coming. In about 8 months I'll be at Grand Valley. Wow. Scary.

[Lubak10 0]

This is something I wrote for my scrapbook page for AP Enlgish.

 

Suddenly lights began to flash; people began to scream, smoke poured into the room. The building wasn’t burning down; it was midnight on New Years Eve at SpringHill. I’d been invited to a youth retreat over New Years by a friend and I couldn’t think of a better place to bring in the New Year. After a few minutes of the intense lights, smoke, and noise I started to get a bit claustrophobic, so I went out to the bridge to clear my head and think for a bit. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get much of this done because there was a surprising amount of people outside, and it was unfathomably cold. As I walked back to the dining hall (yes, dining hall, not cafeteria you silly people who have never been to SpringHill before!) I looked around and realized all that had happened in less then two days time. I finally had the courage to throw the rock that symbolized all my emotional baggage into the river and I had realized a fact that I had been pushing to the side and trying to ignore for a very long time. I realized that I have no identity. I don’t know who I am. When what I do now and what I want to do with the rest of my identity is taken away there is nothing else. What scared me the most was I didn’t know where to start looking for myself. After seventeen years of being defined by lies I didn’t have any experience with the truth. Walking up the game room steps to go to the old craft room to take communion I was more scared then I had ever been in my entire life. I knew there was a problem and I didn’t want to leave SpringHill not knowing how to fix it. I looked around the old craft house thinking about the first campfire my TST group over the past summer had had there, and then, BAM! It hit me. Jesus Christ. That was where I needed to start. The only way I was going to really find myself was if He was my foundation. When people asked me about myself He needed to be the first thing that came to mind. I left SpringHill still petrified that I would get absorbed in life and forget what I had learned, but at least I knew where I needed to start and what direction I needed to go.

[Lubak10 0]

I had sooooooooo much fun last night! I went to this discussion at the Lansing library about the movie Crash (if you haven't seen it, do so) and since this the Youth Connections final is about this movie, P-Shot and a few kids from the class were there. The discussion was fantastic and we stayed for about 20 minutes after talking to the people in front of us. They loved see kids our age at stuff like this. Afterwords we decided to go out to coffee but that morphed into going out to dinner at PF Changs for a series of reasons. Not only was the food fantabulous but we continued the Crash discussion and since we talked about what the final questions will ask, P-Shot exempt us from the final. The whole night was just so much fun! Unfortunately now I need to go study for finals.

[Lubak10 0]

I'm so bummed out right now! I thought I was going to be able to drop FST (my math class for all of you who don't go to my school) and be a teacher aid for P-Shot instead, but I found out that I need to stay in the class or Grand Valley will reject me. At least I wont have to take the second semester final. It's just that I hate math and love P-Shot and I got my hopes up way higher then I should have. grrrrrrrrrrr. Math sucks! At least I have a good teacher for it. If I hated the teacher I would go insane.

[Lubak10 0]

I'm so incredibly glad that finals are over and I don't have to take any more until next year! I have to survive the AP test, but that's all I have to worry about. I'm hoping to enter college with not a few credits because of those tests.

 

I'm going phone shopping and out to dinner with Jessi tonight. She's buying a phone, I'm looking. I figure that since i don't use my phone that often that it would be cheaper for me to get a pay-as-you-go phone even without all the free minutes. If anyone has had experience with this kind of phone and loves it or hates it I'd appreciate your input.

 

Anything else going on besides homework? Nope, not really.

[stvoyagerfan 1]

the pay as you go phones are nice. it depends on who you go with that'll make a difference. some have it where you have to get minutes every 90 days while others are less. happy shopping. i liked the one i had through tracfone. there's quite a few to choose from.

 

tm