Roddenberry Road

[Jeanway 0]

Enjoying her, mushroom, black olive and extra cheese pizza, Jeanway thinks about where the elves will sleep tonight. "Hey, where do you guys sleep, anyway?" She asked them. " Oh, anyplace we fall down is fine with us." One of them answered. The rest agreed. "Well, I have a nice loft apartment over the garage, your welcome to it tonight, since we have to go back to work in the garden in the morning." They all just stopped and looked up to where Jeanway was pointing. "Ya mean we gets ta sleep inside?" One of them asked. "Sure, you interested?" She asked. "Your not kiddin with us are ya?" One of them said. "No, of course not, come on, I'll show ya where your going to sleep tonight." She began to walk towards the garage, then up the staircase on the outside of the building. She stopped and looked back. They were all just watching her while still sitting in the hot-tub. She waved them on. " Come on, it's getting late, I need to get some sleep too." They all climbed out and ran to the stairs and ran up quickly and caught up to her just as she reached the door. She opened it and flipped on the light. The four elves just stood there and looked around. "You really gonna let us stay here?" She said, "Sure, why not?" The four elves began to cry. "None a you humans ever be nice to us like you do." Jeanway began to tear up herself but shook it off and showed them to the bedroom. "Here, a nice big King-size bed, plenty of room for all of you." They all ran and jumped on the bed. All four spread eagle and within a minute, they were all snoring. Jeanway closed the light and shut the door. Then she went to her house and went to sleep.

[hangon 3]

ok hangon stop tortureing my elves they are the tall ones are the police department so fear them.

 

soon a loud explosion sound is heard underneath hangon, the elven police invade the complex and arreset hangon. The elves read hangon his rights and hagon gives them the finger so now he is in a tree prison, that cant be cut down, and is going to be put on trial tommorow morning.

 

Soon hangon wakes up and finds luthien asleep out side in a tree. Ok hangon says the elves are invading

LOL i am not tortureing your Elfs just the one that scratched my "Girly getter"..lol

anyway hang sees luthien asleep and says.."nows my chance"...pulling a cell phone from his boxers he calls fenriz.."yo dude the cops have got me up a tree,get in my "Girly getter" and get down here with the Tal and get me the h.ell out of here"...fenriz cant belive his luck a ride in Hangs "Girly getter",Hang can wait thinks fenriz i am off for a drive in it first and he floors it sticking his middle finger up as he passes some Elfs he shouts.."so long suckers"..and heads off down the street.

[Jeanway 0]

Just after Jeanway turns out her bedroom light she catches sight of Fenriz running down the sidewalk in front of her house, heading toward's Hang's 'Girly-Getter'. She watches him as he gets in, starts it and revs the engine, starting all the dogs to barking. Then he lays a slab of rubber on the road and disappears into the night, stereo blasting.

[nik 0]

Late into the evening, loud music can be heard coming from Jeanway's loft. The high-pitched giggling of elves and several women can be heard. Occassionally, the

sound of a thrown tin-can can can be heard, and the smell of booze wafts from the loft. AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" blairs from the open windows, and flashing lights can be seen inside the loft. Occassionally, the loud-mouthed voice of an elf carries above the laughter and the music.

 

".... I can't believe those cops mistook poison ivy for marijuana!" One of them says loudly.

 

"Funny thing is.... Fat-a** is in jail with poison ivy, and we got us some free rent!" The elves start laughing loudly.

 

Meanwhile, back at the rectory, Nik is forced to do his evening penance. He kneels in the front row of the chapel, and does his best at praying.

 

"Yeah.... uh.... howdy! You got a minute? Uh.... God bless all those little bast- uh

elves workin' for me, and don't get their a** - uh, selves sent back to the north pole. Oh, yeah! Thanks for lettin' me meet the judge today... boy was she a looker!" Nik starts chuckling and then composes himself. "And.... uh..... that's all. uh..... Amen! Oh and another thing!" Nik adds quickly. "Thanks fer makin' this poison ivy clear up real fast because it was itchin' somethin' fierce - kinda like before my hemhorroid operation, only in a different spot... well... you get the idea!"

 

Nik salutes the crucifix at the front, gets up and runs to cot, where he bellyflops onto it, sending it shattering to the floor. He decides to sleep that way.

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

~ A Brand New Toy ~

 

at 10 am a big truck parks infront of my House, a big trucker steps out with a list in his hand, he walks up to my house en rings the doorbell, i opend the door and he starts to talk to me"yo ILS aye" "yes thats me, what do you have for me?"

"did you order a new lawnmoa'er, the Binford SEC "grassbutcher"?

"Yes i did, is it here already, yippie thats good,"

 

The man opens his truck and drives out my mower, aaaahhhh what a beauty.

i signed his papers and the trucker gets back in his truck

 

Daddy, is that the new lawnmower my little girls askes, Yes honey it,s daddy,s new toy

ahhh, a fourwheeldriven, 245 Bhp, with 2 meter wide blades going 8000 Rph, this will do the Job right, i am going to test it now,

ILS turns on the egnision, and a loud thundernois can be heard all over the neighborhood"YEAH BABY, YEAH!!!!!" ILS screams as he mowes his lawn

[Jeanway 0]

After a full day tending the newly planted garden, Jeanway, and her four elves return home again. Tonight is Doc and Janies big bash at the Church of the Holy Grail's Community Center and Banquet Hall. Caterers have been hired, the band is there. All the tables have been set up. Doc & Janie stand at the open double door and greet their guests....................

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

Everybody in the neighborhood looks at ILS house :blink:

 

"hey neighbors wadda ya think of my new toy"screams ILS hard

[Tal 0]

Tal relising that hang and luthien had been arested junped into one of his Romulan shuttles and went after Fenriz who had got into hangs 'Girly-Getter' to find out which station they were in.

 

 

:tank: :tomcat: :tank:

 

 

[Jeanway 0]

Tal Shia.......Everyone's been released. Except Doc and Janie, their trial is this morning they'll be out by noon. They have a party to attend

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

Hey anybody in for a good clasic jailbreak, i have the tools for it!!??

[Tal 0]

Oh, in which case he turns around and heads back to his Warbird to power up his transporter again and beams them both out. He then graps sevral bottles of Romulan Ale and heads for the Party with Doc and Janie.

 

 

:tank: :tomcat: :tank:

 

 

[hangon 3]

Everyone stood outside for the party turns around because they can hear very loud music coming down the street,someone shouts "oh thats just Hang in his "Girly Getter""...Hang pulls up to the sidewalk fenriz and Tal jump out and scream.."WHAAAZUUUP"..as Hang gives the parking attendent a 10 and says.."make sure you put this in a good spot if i come back and there is a scratch on my car its your legs i be breakin""..unsure if Hang was just jokeing he parks Hangs"Girly Getter" in a good spot.

So the three of them head to the door when one of the doormen grabs Hang and says "sorry no jeans allowed"...Hang looks at the doormen with a evil gleam in his eye and replys "ok hows this then"..removeing his jeans hang is stood only in his boxers,one of the new girls in the street remarks at how good Hang looks and the crowd start to laugh and the doormen let Hang and his 2 buddies in.

[Tal 0]

Tal starts chatting with Jeanway and asks Where nik is because he hasnt seen him in a while.

[Jeanway 0]

Back at County jail. The guards come to the holding cells to retrieve Doc and Janie, just as they vaporize and disappear. Both guards, seeing this, go back and doctor the records, saying they had been released and found not guilty of trying to escape since they were innocent of all charges in the first place. SOUNDS LIKE JUSTICE TO ME!!!

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

Hang gives the parking attendent a 10 and says.."make sure you put this in a good spot if i come back and there is a scratch on my car its your legs i be breakin""..unsure if Hang was just jokeing he parks Hangs"Girly Getter" in a good spot.

 

 

ILS was driving his new lawnmower, and was in 15 minuter ready with his garden,

Well lets see what this baby can do on the road,

ILS pulls his mower up on the road and hits the gas, 20, 30 ,50 ,60 ,80, 83,90, 93

(pushing full throttle now) 100 Miles an hour, ILS screams "yeah baby Yeah"

 

Suddenly a policecar rides behind him ordering him to pull over, but what the H*ll, the gas is jammed and the kuttingknives start to rotated at at least 9000Rpm, ILS starts to sweat, and tries to drive strait, "damn dead end here, ILS pulls hard left into a parkinglot, suddenly the stearingwheel is blocked(producktfailleur) and the last thing ILS saw was a big cabriolet whit the name "Girl Getter" on it

 

BOEM!!!, CRASH!!!, BANG!!!

[Lady Luthien 0]

 

Soon hangon wakes up and finds luthien asleep out side in a tree. Ok hangon says the elves are invading

LOL i am not tortureing your Elfs just the one that scratched my "Girly getter"..lol

anyway hang sees luthien asleep and says.."nows my chance"...pulling a cell phone from his boxers he calls fenriz.."yo dude the cops have got me up a tree,get in my "Girly getter" and get down here with the Tal and get me the h.ell out of here"...fenriz cant belive his luck a ride in Hangs "Girly getter",Hang can wait thinks fenriz i am off for a drive in it first and he floors it sticking his middle finger up as he passes some Elfs he shouts.."so long suckers"..and heads off down the street.

Im NEVER asleep when im on watch!

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

The parking attendent sees what happends, gets in to a shock, and faints, his college sees the same and runs inside to tell it to Hangon what happend,

 

Hangon doesn,t believe it and takes a look for himself, as he enters the parkinglot he sees his car(or what is left off it, and the remains off what used to be a lawnmower, the mower had crashed with high speed on his car and wrecked it, and the (still turning) knives finished the job, ILS was ejected during the crash and was unconsios lying onto another car and was in very much pain"aaarrgghh hellp meee!"

[Jeanway 0]

Looks like the "Girly-Getter" got it good

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

Manual for the the Binford SEC "grassbutcher"

 

Page 1

 

Congratualtion for purchesing this wonderfull machine, we hope you have year,s of mowing fun, but keep the safety rules in mind.

 

~ Speed ~

 

1 Never go above 80 miles an hour

(tests proofed that above this speed the gaswire will get to hot and melt)

a permanent wirejam will result in blocking the gaspedal

 

2 By extreme speed, the cuttingknives will spontanious activate

 

 

~ Streering ~

 

1 The mechanism, or as we call the fly-by-wire system on the mower will

atomaticly jame if steeringwheel is turned to hard and to fast, keep in mind

to steer gentile

 

If you keep these rules in mind, you will uses your "Grassbutcher"at the way as it is buildt for

 

BINFORD CO.

 

 

"Mammy? did daddy read the first page of the manual??"

 

"i don,t know honney, i hope so, why?"

[LordOfTheBorg 1]

Blows Up His House And runs Screaming Down The Road, running Away From These Insane People.

[nik 0]

The good Rev. Python has assigned Nik to service and cleanup duty for the party. It is quite unfortunate that he also asked Nik to take a vow of silence for the next several weeks. Wearing the large brown robe given to him - which does nothing to ease his itching from the poison ivy which the elves gave him, and which the cops mistook for marijuana - he brings plates of food to his former neighbors. He can only smile as he sets the food down. He waits momentarily until the guests begin eating, scratches his crotch, and hustles back into the kitchen.

[Jeanway 0]

WHAT??? No ----->>> To match???

[Tal 0]

Tal seeing Nik scratching himself comes over and injects him with a hypro spray a few mins l8er the itching has gone. Tal also handed Nik a Plasma Rifle so he could break out 2night

 

 

:tank: :tomcat: :tank:

 

 

[Jeanway 0]

Jeanway, Head Cheese of the 'Grammar Police', notices a strange mispelling: 'l8er' instead of 'later'. She instantly turns her attention toward a Mr. Tal Shiar8472 and watches him hand what appears to be a weapon to a Mr. Nik Snuffellufagapallo, who in custody for 'indecent exposure'. She dials her cell phone and within minutes :cops: :busted: He gets his @** hauled off to jail in the Meat Wagon for aiding and abetting a criminal and obstruction of justice

 

See folks, if he had learned to spell correctly, none of this would have happened!

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

a large crowed gathered at the crashsite, may ooohhhs and aaahhhs were heart.

ILS was lying suffering on a car, a ambulance pulls up to the parkinglot and the crowed stepped aside, two members of the ambulance were trying to getILS of the car, but first they had to pull off Hangon from him who was kicking and beating ILS much futher into the car, with 6 pple they were able to get Hangon of from ILS(hangon was foaming from his mouth), quikly a doctor analysed the condition of ILS, "can you here me sir!!"he said, ILS said"hhhmmmrrgggaaahh"

Okey lets get him to a hospital!!

ILS was put on a strecher and covered with blankets the doktor asked the crowed"does anybody know where he lives??"

[Tal 0]

Tal thinks to himself that these bars wont hold him. he brings out his comunicator and conntacts his ship i few mins l8er sevral scorpian class atack fighters have blown a hole in the side of the jail and Tal jumped on the side and went back on. Once there to make sure noone else goes to jail he fires sevral torpedos at the jail and blows it up. The polic think Tal is still inside.

[Jeanway 0]

Good job ILS

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

  Good job ILS  

Thanx, i hope someone will visit me sometimes in the hospital and bring me some flowers an choclate

[Tal 0]

Relising ILS was in hospital Tal beemed him direcly to sickbay were he is prombtly healed and warned not to say anything about what he saw then was told to get on his way.(See it is usefull to have someone will suppeara(SP) technology) Just incase anyone want to phone the police again not saying any names JEANWAY.

[Jeanway 0]

  Good job ILS B) 

Thanx, i hope someone will visit me sometimes in the hospital and bring me some flowers an choclate B)

 

 

And a Dutch to English Dictionary, :o ?? B) :koolaid: B)