Lake Roddenberry Summer Camp

[fenriz275 0]

All right cam...dangit...

All right campers let's settle down. By now I'm sure you all know that someone thought it would be funny to steal Mr. Fenriz's bullhorn. Hahaha. Well the joke's on you cause I have a backup bullhorn. If whoever took the bullhorn returns it by tomorrow they'll be no ques

tions. Dammit! I hate the backup bullhorn. This piece of

Crap never works. Oh. Excuse

Excuse me campers. Now for the rumors floating around camp. Yes it's true several campers have gone missing. No, they were not eaten by a "Sasquatch" or a "Bigfoot", they've just wandered away from the designated "fun zones". Secondly, there have been no "alien" abductions. That's totally kooky. All of our campers are accounted for. Except for the ones "not" eaten by the "Sasquatch" Search parties are being formed as we speak to locate the missing campers. Now let's all get back to having a well supervised and scheduled summer. That is all.

[nik 0]

A lime-green Gremlin throws up dirt as it roars up to the cabins. It comes to a screetching halt in front of boys cabin #2, and the door opens. A familiar figure steps out. He is wearing a white velour outfit revealing a fat hairy chest. Gold chains hang around his neck, and he wears large two-tone sunglasses. His lambchop sideburns reach up into his greased comb-over. Reaching into the back of the Gremlin, he pulls out several items - an old stereo, a box of White Castle burgers, a crate of Elvis 8-tracks, and an autographed copy of "Eclectic Possum Recipes from Around the World."

 

He looks around approvingly as he approaches cabin #2.

 

"Well, I think the good Reverend Python knew what he was doin' when he set me up with this camp councelor job." Nik says.

 

He enters cabin #2. Several minutes later, a dozen boys run screaming from the cabin, many holding their noses.

[BlueCrystal 0]

I grab my gear and head to cabin one. Ah, perfect a bunk in a good spot and a foot locker just the right size. I peer out the window towards the boys cabin and I question whether or not we have a Cabin *mother*/counselor. I hang a photo of myself as a little girl with my father and a model rocket we built when I was three on the wall by my bunk. Daddy knew I was special even then and had to be careful of what toys he bought me. The bow and arrow set was a error in his judgement but I hated my mother's new car so it wasn't a total loss. Beside the insurance company paid for it and I was only five, they said I really didn't know what I was doing. I looked around the cabin and asked Jeanway if there was a map of the camp somewhere? I have escaped from more isolated conefinements before.

[Jeanway 0]

Jeanway, Suzzy Q, Bailey and Luthien return from their little excursion around

 

the lake sunburned and starving. They find their new cabin-mate sitting on her

 

bunk doing her nails { again? } { This is called Multi-Thread

 

Bandwagonning}.

 

"Hi, I'm Jeanway. You hungry? Were just going to the dining cabin for dinner, care

 

to come with us?" She says to Jennica. "You all tha girls they be lookin fo out

 

thar?" Jennica asks. "Us? Why would you say that?"

[DrWho42 13]

Cabin #2

 

As Ben walked back into the cabin, he went to re-check his photos of the so-called sasquatch and hovering spaceship.... They seemed authentic

 

I better show them to other people to prove CAL Fenriz wrong...

 

He put the photos of proof that there's something weird going about this camp in his dark-green brief-case, took out a comic to read and sat in his bunk, next to the window.

[BlueCrystal 0]

"Food...well maybe but I have to watch the sweets. I need to scout the place out anyway." Jennica walked to the door and looked out, she already changed into her Camp Roddenberry 2004 tee shirt and glued a smile on her face.

[Jeanway 0]

" GOD HELFEN US! " NURSE BONECRUSHER YELLS AS SHE KICKS IN THE DOOR AT CABIN #2. Armed with a fire hose and nose plugs she aims directly at nik and blows him up against the wall with the force of the water. She sprays him into submission then turns the nozzel to off, pulls a bar of soap and a scrub brush out of her pockets and attacks nik. He screams in pain as she begins scrubbing him, face first and works her way down. "Now turn ze bodee around, yuz piggen filth!" She yanks him by the shoulder and pushes him against the wall. Squirting his head with Anti-Lice Shampoo and telling him "Naw yoo startin ze scrubbin Mista or I clock ya right where ya stand, you gettin dis Mista?" NIk did as she told him. Finally, nik covered with soap suds she turned the hose on him again. "AHHHHHH STOP IT YA CRAZY WITCH!" He yelled repeatedly. When she saw he was totally rinsed she turned off the hose and pulled it out of the cabin behind her then slammed the door. Nik breathed a sigh of relief. "What was THAT?" He said outloud. He though she was gone. When suddenly the door swings open again and she throws something at nik that hits him in the eye. A can of spray deodorant. He hears these words coming from outside. " AND YOU BETTA USE IT MISTA!!"

[BlueCrystal 0]

Curiously Jennica watches the whole event with Nurse Bonecrusher and hears the screams. As Nurse Bonecrusher leaves Jennica walks up to the door and pushes it open seeing Nik dazed, nude, and laying on the floor soaking wet. Jennica walks in and throws a towel over him..."Be Glad she didn't give you a enima. Perhaps she'll come back for that later." Jennica leaves knowing that escape is of the essence now.

[Ace 0]

(Scotty, 13 (and a half :( ), cabin2)

 

Little Scotty is dropped off at the camp... Late (his Mom is really bad with directions), and sees the whole thing with the nurse and that weird, old guy happen in the cabin he's supposed to move into. He drops his clothes-bag and stares in shock during the whole thing. He turns around, but it's too late; his mom's already down the road out of sight. "I'm stuck ."

"Well, I'm not going in THERE right now... I wonder where the other kids are at?"

*goes looking for kids to have fun with *

[nik 0]

A crowd of boys laughs outside cabin #2. The sound of Elvis 8-tracks blasts through the woods. One of the boys yells.

 

"Do it again, Uncle Nik!"

 

"All right, son!" Nik says, "but I don't know how much I have left in me!"

 

Nik bends over, and holds a lit match between his legs, inches from his backside. After a few minutes, a deep rumbling sound is heard. The match explodes into a shower of flames as Nik passes gas onto it, igniting his own flatus. The boys erupt in screams of laughter, some of them rolling on the ground.

 

"Alright boys!" Nik says. "Let's go hunt us some possum; then I'll teach y'all how to pick up chicks!"

[Jeanway 0]

Nurse BoneCrusher watches from her window and holds her head and rocks side to side. "IYIAIYAIAIYAIAYAIAY!!!!"

[Jeanway 0]

~~ CURRENT CAMP ROSTER ~~

 

COUNSELLORS:

 

FENRIZ - CAMP BUS

 

UNCLE NIK - NIK - CABIN #2

 

NURSE:

 

LEESEL BONECRUSHER - JEANWAY - HOSPITAL CABIN

 

CAMPERS:

 

GIRLS: CABIN # 1

 

1. JEANWAY { JW } - JEANWAY

 

2. SUZZY { Q } - Q STOLE MY BIKE

 

3. LUTHIEN - LADY LUTHIEN OF LORIEN

 

4. BAILEY - TREKKIE MAGE

 

5. JANIE - ECHO - CABIN # 3

 

6. JANE - JANEWAY

 

7. JENNICA - BLUE CRYSTAL

 

 

BOYS: CABIN # 2.

 

1.HARRY KIM

 

2. JAZ - JAZ4DEBO

 

3. DAMIEN - ILIKESEVEN

 

4. DANNY - HANGON

 

5. ZACHARY - WEAREBORG

 

6. BEN - DOCWHO42

 

7. TOKAR

 

8. SCOTTY - ACE

 

UNIDENTIFIED:

 

SASQUACH - ALTEREGO { PROBABLY MALE??} - CAVE IN THE SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN ACROSS THE LAKE.

[Q stole my bike 0]

Suzzy sneaks into the hospital cabin armed with matches. She promptly sets the place on fire and runs out to watch the pretty flames.

 

A new consellor is getting a job at the camp: Q! :o

 

Q steals Fen's bullhorn then makes a formal announcement "I am th omnipotent Q! I will be taking over Fen's position, and then stealing your bikes. I know wel''l have tons of fun!" Then Q dries up the lake, infests cabin 1 with horseflies, makes Nik get the runs, and makes a wolverine chase nurse Bonecrusher.

[Jeanway 0]

 

 

SOLARWIND WHERE ARE YOU???????

[mj 7]

 

 

    SOLARWIND WHERE ARE YOU???????

I thought she moved permanently with her family to the Himalayas (high up) to do missionary work with a newly discovered tribe. In a sense, she is camping too, but under more harsh conditions.

 

But I could be mistaken. It could have been someone else, but I thought it was her.

[Jeanway 0]

Suzzy sneaks into the hospital cabin armed with matches.  She promptly sets the place on fire and runs out to watch the pretty flames.

 

A new consellor is getting a job at the camp: Q! :o 

 

Q steals Fen's bullhorn then makes a formal announcement "I am th omnipotent Q!  I will be taking over Fen's position, and then stealing your bikes.  I know wel''l have tons of fun!"  Then Q dries up the lake, infests cabin 1 with horseflies, makes Nik get the runs, and makes a wolverine chase nurse Bonecrusher.

 

Wishful thinking Q, this never happened. A little too much Romulan Ale will do that to a person. :o CAMPERS AND COUNSELLORS, PLEASE DISREGUARD THIS POST AND CONTINUE AS IF THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN. :o

[BlueCrystal 0]

Ho hom another day at this camp. Lucky me Daddy dearest sent that care package. I spent the night digging a hole infront of cabin two and filling it with oatmeal then covering it with a thin layer of branches leaves and what not. I just need to get Suzy Q to start a fire towards the rear if cabin two and stand back and watch. Giggling under my breathe I imagine Ben, Nik, or Fen doing the slip an slide into my oatmeal bath.

 

As I walk about the camp I look for a secluded area to set up my little work shop and a place to shot off and occassional model rocket. Time for a quick shower and a nap before breakfast and roll call if there is one here.

[Jeanway 0]

Jeanway is a light sleeper. Her bunk is near the window and she listens to Jennica, throughout the night digging and giggeling. "You want some help?" JW says through the open window." " Yea, just keep a lookout for that Nurse B*llB*ster, N*tCr*cker or whatever the H*ll her name is and Fen, he could be trouble too." She whispers to JW. "K, but Fen is ok, don't worry about him." JW answers. "Hey, Jen, I got a big bottle of Elmer's Glue All, you wanna squirt it in there too?" "Yea, throw it out here." Jen answers as they both laugh. Jen and JW swap horror stories about their childhoods, trying to top each other :o as Jen digs.

[hangon 3]

Bored out of his skull and having no one to play with :o ...danny grabs his back pack and fills it will some snacks and some drinks,getting his BB gun from under the floor boards he heads off into the forest,a young man on a mission only danny has no idea what that mission is :o all he can feel is the calling thats pulling him into the forest,spotting what looks like tracks of some kind he gets the strange feeling he is being watched loading his BB gun very slowly danny gets up,pretending that nothing is wrong danny moves off waiting for the attack danny is tense the sweat is dripping of his fore head,panic starts to set in,then the sound of a twig crack....WOOOSOOOH..at high speed danny is running like a mad man dropping his back pack danny can hear the breathing getting closer and closer,still running danny see's a place to head for and make a last stand,he jumps in the ditch turns round and gets ready to fire,what seems like forever danny waits when a screaming mass of body comes over the top of the ditch,danny opens fire ..there is a big splash in the ditch,danny turns round and points his BB gun ready to fire again when a head pops out of the water...shocked danny cant belive his eyes..its Zach :o ,who is now screaming that i had shot him right where no man wants to get shot :o .........To be continued

[DrWho42 13]

~~ CURRENT CAMP ROSTER ~~

 

5. JANIE  -  ECHO  -  CABIN # 3

 

BOYS: CABIN # 2.

 

6. BEN - DOCWHO42

l²ol. Seems like Janie is all by herself in Cabin #3.....

 

*Idea surfaces :o *

 

Maybe she needs some company from No. 6.... :o

Click for Spoiler:

 

[Rivendells_king 0]

Soon a elven caravan, heading to the west, gose through Roddenberry summer camp. Two elves get leveled by hangons BB gun and the rest of the elves go insane and call the evil sasquatchs, werewolfs, killer toucans to invade the camp, and also, They take all the cookies and other sweets and now are hiding on the island in the center of roddenberry lake.

 

Soon the girls begin to run away from there cabin because a killer toucan broke the windows and the evil sasquatchs lead by alterego take echo and Q back to his leader. FRED DAH DAH DAH, to be well you know what hungry sasquatchs do.

[Jeanway 0]

Jeanway drops her bag of jellybeans by accident on the floor of the cabin. She crawls around trying to find every last one. When under her bunk she finds a metal ring. She tries to pick it up but sees it's attatched to the floor. She drags her bunk off of it, pulls up the rug that is partially covering it and finds a trapdoor. She pulls on the large metal ring and it opens. She looks down into the doorway and sees wooden steps. :o OH BOY, she says to herself and grabs a flashlight and enters the dark hole by herself. Everyone was at breakfast so no one knew where she disappeared to. She got to the bottom of the dark, moist, dirt floor. She looked around and saw a tunnel and entered it slightly crouched over. Pointing the flashlight ahead of her she walked. After a few feet she came to another set of wooden steps. She climbed them and at the top listened to see if she could hear anything, it was silent. She pushed on the trapdoor and opened it a few inches. It was the boys cabin. She chuckled then closed the door, made her way back through the tunnel and up the steps to her own cabin. Climbed out, closed the trapdoor and pulled the rug back over it then put her bed back where it was before. Jeanway has a secret. :o

[BlueCrystal 0]

Jennica is standing by the bunk as Jeanway moves it back into place. "This could be fun. Is it an escape tunnel? No, by the look on your face it must be better. Let the games begin." Jennica glances over at the boys cabin.

 

Jennica opens her foot locker with an array of things within time to do my specialty...boobytraps!

[please delete 0]

Thankfully Janie escaped the sasqutch and returned to cabin #3 only to notice that the sasqutch was there waiting for her...

 

"what do you have? a transporter?"

[Jeanway 0]

"I'd really like to be the first to christen this little jewel, Jen, let me, first, ok?" She asked her. "Let me help, OK?" Jen asked Jeanway. "Sure, come on." Jeanway said and headed for the door, Jen right behind her rubbing her palms together and licking her lips.

 

Into the deserted kitchen JW and Jen tip-toed. "Shhh" they said at each other with one finger up to their lips, holding back giggeling. "Here, get these jars, punch some holes in the tops with the ice pick over there Jen, { again with the ice-pick} Jen unscrewed the lids as JW crawled under the cabinets. " Gotcha, gotcha, amid sounds of a hand smacking wood could be heard, over and over. "Here Jen, gimme a jar quick." She said. Jen handed her a jar and waited while the smacking and gotchas continued for quite a long time. Jen handing JW empty jars and then JW handing them back filled with cockroaches. After an hour or so they had filled 10 jars. Jen crawled in there with her and joined in the smacking part about halfway through. "Gee, this is fun, never did THIS before." She said to JW.

 

When they thought they had enough they crawled out and put all the jars in a big paper sacque. As they were heading for the door JW spotted a huge jar sitting on a counter, labelled "Sue Bee HONEY" :o "Get that Jen, grab it and come on." JW said. Jen hoised the huge jar off the counter and held it with her arms wrapped around it." Come, let's get out of here." Jen said. They ran behind the cabins to #1, went in and put the sacque and the big jar under Jen's bunk. :o

[WEAREBORG4102 0]

Zach moans in pain :o . "I want my mommie. (I'm trying to misspell a badword but can't)ing *poopie*!!" Danny carries him to the hospital wing where bonecrusher calls the ambulance. :o

******************************

a week later

******************************

Zachary is back in full health and fully functional. :o Danny, Harry, and Ben accompany him on their never ending quest for sasquatch. Harry gets separated from the group. Danny hears a rustle. He sees a huge mass jump up and he shoots with the BB gun. He hears a scream of pain. "Not again." :o

 

[Q stole my bike 0]

Suzzy goes over to the stables and ets out 2 horses. She puts one in the hospital cabin, and another Fen's bus and then watches from a safe distance.

[Jeanway 0]

LOP, LOP, LOP, LOPL LOP, LOP, LOP, LOP, LOP, LOP, LOP,.LOP......................

 

The Department of Natural Resourses Helicopter circles the camp in a smaller and smaller circle. Blowing the trees sideways it touches down on a bare patch of ground just outside the front gate. Everybody runs to see what this is all about. The propellor slowly turning to a stop. Then a tall, uniformed woman steps down from inside and walks toward the gate.......

 

"Hi Kids!" She says as she waves Hello to everyone. Counsellor Fenriz runs towards her with his hand outstretched for a handshake. "Who the H*ll is that?" Zachary yells. "Smokey Bears Mother, I think." Uncle Nik yells. Everybody laughs as nik bends over and Moons her. She looks at him like this :o then covers her eyes. Fenriz looks back and sees the underside of nik, picks up a rock and throws it at him, hitting him right in the " Bullseye " Everybody laughs again. "Sorry bout that." Fenriz says to her as he shakes her hand. " He's new." They both laugh.

 

 

Everybody is standing around punching each other and pushing and tripping the smaller kids. Fenriz puts his back-up bullhorn up to his mouth and yells. "SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!!" The kids stop talking and look at Fen. This is Ranger Risa. She wants to talk to you about forest fires. Everyone lets out a MOAN and a few "AW Craps." She takes the bullhorn from Fenriz and begins. "I came here today to ask you all to be very careful with any sort of combustible material here in these woods." Everyone started laughing. A few of the kids set off firecrackers in the back of the group. "Alright, who did that?" Fenriz yelled as he made is way around to the back of the group. "It wasn't me." Harry Kim yelled. "Not me." Damian also yelled. "It was him." Ben said as he pointed to little Scotty who had a pile of firecrackers and matches at his feet. Scotty started to cry. Fenriz knowing it was one of the older boys, comforted Scotty as he picked them up off the ground and stuffed them in his pocket. "It's ok son, I know you didn't do it." Fenriz said to little Scotty. Fen turned his back to talk to the olders boys and little Scotty gave Fen the finger and started laughing silently

 

Fenriz walked back to Ranger Risa and said "Excuse me, go ahead." She began again. " You do know that a forest fire kills people and all the animals who live in these woods, don't you? It's been very dry lately and we must exercise extra caution with fire. You do know that this camp is in the middle of 50 miles of woods don't you? You should not try to venture out of camp, especially at night. The chances of you getting lost are very high. So please kids. Don't go wandering off by yourselves it could be very dangerous. Not only because this camp is so far from anything but there are bears and we also have had reports of some strange animal roaming around out here too. Some people say it looks like a Sasquach or a Yetti or a Big Foot. I hope you understand. This could be taking your life in your hands if you wander off alone."

 

The kids all stood silent. :o :o :o :o "It's true then." jaz said to Damian. Everyone stood silent again. Ranger Risa got back in her helicopter, started the engine and turned on her speakers which played "Spirit in the Sky" and she took off. Waving to everyone as she lifted off the ground. " Goin up to the Spirit in the sky" Could be heard for miles. :o

[Jaz4stfguy 0]

Well kids, its time we get on with some old time camping. Any one for s'mores? I don't think we'll have any trouble getting some one to make a fire ~~he,he~~but this time, I show you the proper way to do it. Have you ever seen a "dakota" style fire?" Jaz and fenriz lead the now humbled , and hungry campers to the assembly area. :o "Yummy, I just love s'mores" one camper was heard to say.

[Jeanway 0]

Jen and JW stand up against a tree away from everyone. JW yells "Sure Jazzy, let's see a Dakota fire. We got any sticks? Where's the marshmallows? Hey Fen, why don't you come on up into the woods with me and help me find some 'STICKS'?" They both double over in laughter knowing Fen won't do it. Jeanway has been eyeballing Fen since she arrived. He's either playing hard to get or he is really stupid. :o The third option never occured to JW. She is 14, he is 30, you do the math. :o Fen is interested in Nurse BoneCrusher who has the hots for Counsellor jaz who is interested in Lwxana the Camp Cook. Not a good situation at all. :o