WildStar Personal Log

[WildStar 0]

Glad you like them RikerChick , I get them off and yahoo group. I am posting only the clean ones I find...lol <_<

[Odie 0]

here is another funny story

________________________________________

A Woman's Prayer

 

Now I lay me

Down to sleep

I pray the Lord

My shape to keep.

Please no wrinkles

Please no bags

And please lift my butt

Before it sags.

Please no age spots

Please no gray

And as for my belly,

Please take it away.

Please keep me healthy

Please keep me young,

And thank you Dear Lord

For all that you've done.

 

Five tips for a woman....

 

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.

 

2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.

 

3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.

 

4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.

 

5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

 

_________________________________________________________

 

*dies laughing* <_< OMG I have to go post this on my scrapbooking board.

*rolls off chair in laughing fit* That was great. Thanks for posting it.

[WildStar 0]

this is some thing I got in my E-Mail

 

 

Fw: Hope this makes your day!

 

 

BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS HERSELF

 

A WOMAN IS LIKE A TEA BAG...YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG

SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER

 

I HAVE YET TO HEAR A MAN ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO COMBINE MARRIAGE

 

AND A CAREER

 

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

 

I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I HAVE A GUN

 

 

WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT

 

OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY..I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME

 

DO NOT START WITH ME YOU WILL NOT WIN

 

ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE>

 

 

And last but not least:

 

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

 

Send this to your friends and brighten their day!

[WildStar 0]

Funny story I know you will love I do!

 

Pillsbury Doughboy

 

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community...The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.Butterworth, Mrs. Smith, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, Sara Lee, the Hostess Twinkies, Little Debbie, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

 

 

[WildStar 0]

hi I am trying to up date my comp if yo like cheese cake and other sweets and spice foods go to the off topic area in cotton candyfactry cooking with wildstar

[WildStar 0]

Here is a funny story

Things My Mother Taught Me?

 

 

 

Things My Mother Taught Me?

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...

"Just wait until your father gets home."

 

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....

"You are going to get it when we get home!"

 

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...

"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

 

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...

"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

 

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

 

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

 

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

 

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

 

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...

"You're just like your father."

 

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

 

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

 

And last but not least...

 

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

[WildStar 0]

HOW TO STAY YOUNG (George Carlin)

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let

the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.

Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the

devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with

us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,

keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,

improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a

foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the

moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who cares??

[WildStar 0]

Thoughts for today....

 

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather -- who

died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all

the passengers in his car."--

Author Unknown

 

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and

you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin

bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from

children" --

Author Unknown

 

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's

a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and

they meet at the bar." --

Drew Carey

 

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a

woman I don't like and just give her a house."--

Rod Stewart

 

"The problem with the designated driver program, it's

not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into

doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night,

drop them off at the wrong house." --

Jeff Foxworthy

 

"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball

and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save

the infant's life without even considering if there is

a man on base."--

Dave Barry

 

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job,

and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend

wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.

There should be severance pay, and before they leave you,

they should have to find you a temp." --

Bob Ettinger

 

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took

her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom,

they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."--

Paula Poundstone

 

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have

better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to

the authors of that study: "Duh."--

Conan O'Brien

 

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm

halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....

I could be eating a slow learner." --

Lynda Montgomery

>

"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of

people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime

and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough..Let's

go west." --

Richard Jeni

 

"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would

be dead." --

Johnny Carson

 

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us

geography." --

Paul Rodriguez

 

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they

turned sixty, and that's the law."--

Jerry Seinfeld

>

"Remember in elementary school, you were told that in

case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single

file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic

in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"--

--Warren Hutcherson

 

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school

student. At least they can find Afghanistan."--

Whitney Brown

 

"Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to

rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."--

Robin Williams

 

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."--

Billy Crystal

 

"You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog

will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right!

I never would've thought of that!'"--

Dave Barry

 

Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because " Mad Cow

Disease" was taken.

--Unknown, presumed dead.

[WildStar 0]

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

 

 

 

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

 

2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button.

 

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth

every 10 years.

 

4. People do not get sick from cold weather;

it's from being indoors a lot more.

 

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop,

even your heart!

 

6. Only 7 per cent of the population are lefties.

 

7. Forty people are sent to the hospital for dog

bites every minute.

 

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't

appear until they are 2-6 years old.

 

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5

years waiting in lines.

 

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

 

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

 

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

 

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.

 

14. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.

 

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other

time of day.

 

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

 

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the

sand is to search for water.

 

18. The only two animals that can see behind themselves

without turning their heads are the rabbit and the parrot.

 

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in

"An Officer and a Gentleman" and "Tootsie."

 

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina

State anthem.

 

21. In most television commercials advertising milk,a mixture

of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

 

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the

same airplane, just in case there is a crash.

 

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a

tomato can for a carburetor.

 

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords

cut from women who give birth. They are used in vein

transplant surgery.

 

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana.

They were 7th cousins.

 

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

 

 

Answers below...

 

 

 

They are all TRUE....

Now go back and think about #16!!!

 

[WildStar 0]

How is every one doing? well friday the 13th was not so good for me and mom. We saw 3 really bad car crashed ( not seen it happen just the after math) we had to do a detour that was very scenic, grape vine's as far as the eye could see. the funny part it that in Clearlake California we are the pear capital

[WildStar 0]

I feel like craying ...... I whent to a pot luck to day it was sad , we had not more then 10 peaple show up for the food .

I made a large plate of sandwich's and some one brought tortallini and hot dogs in baked beans and potato chips and dip. We had a good time eny way, good food and good friends what more do you need right?

[WildStar 0]

This is what I have been working on to day

[A l t e r E g o 9]

:rockon:

[WildStar 0]

:) I saw the movie Yu-gi-ho! it was very good

[WildStar 0]

mygreat area for food

 

If you like to cook come to this area see what i have posted some are easy and fast to make enjoy

[WildStar 0]

Redneck Church

 

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

 

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if.. opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

 

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

 

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred to as "branding".

 

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

 

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

 

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.

 

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.

 

You Know Your Church Is A RedneckChurch if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

 

You Know Your Church Is A RedneckChurch if... "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now!!" Yaheah.....

 

 

[WildStar 0]

Creative Ways to Say Someone is Stupid:

 

** A few clowns short of a circus.

** A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

** An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

** A few beers short of a six-pack.

** Dumber than a box of hair.

** A few peas short of a casserole.

** Doesn't have all her cornflakes in one box.

** The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

** One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

** One taco short of a combination plate.

** A few feathers short of a whole duck.

** All foam, no beer.

** The cheese slid off her cracker.

** Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

** Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

** He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

** An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

** As smart as bait.

** Chimney's clogged.

** Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

** Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

** Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

** Her sewing machine's out of thread.

** His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

** His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

** If she had another brain, it would be lonely.

** Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

** No grain in the silo.

** Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

** Receiver is off the hook.

** Several nuts short of a full pouch.

** Skylight leaks a little.

** Slinky's kinked.

** Surfing in Nebraska.

** Too much yardage between the goal posts.

** Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

** The lights are on, but nobody's home.

** 24 cents short of a quarter.

[WildStar 0]

We got to the hotel and went to the pak and it was closed :wacko: , it seems it is only open now on the weeek ends no one told use that! and mom is big time pist off. Mom said she is going to call the AAA and tell them off for not telling use the truth. And the same for the hotel for not letting Use know right off the bat.........But mom and I made the best of it!

[Airies 0]

On vacation? Where are you?

[WildStar 0]

Hi how is every one doing? This is some thing i made to day

[WildStar 0]

These are Poems I did in memery of 911 and I thought I would post them in here as a share! :blush 2:

 

"Memory of those who died"

 

This is in memory of those who died,

 

Terrorist’s may have broke our harts but not our pride.

 

As we stand,

 

Side by , side.

 

As we show our American pride,

 

You hit the world trade center then the other,

 

Stricking at the Pentagon will you ever stop?

 

Killing people with plains is a cowards game!

 

The Sleeper Has wakened,

 

The Sleeper has a wakend,

 

There is no where you can hide!

[WildStar 0]

Here are two More pomes I ddi for 911

 

America Remember's

 

We remember,

Those how fought,

and died,

They live in are hearts,

With joy and pride.

We are proud to say,

That we live in the USA!

Where we have real hero's,

Here in the USA!

We will always remember.

___________________________________________________

 

"Freedom Train"

 

Come aboard the freedom train,

 

Come and take a ride,

 

Climb aboard the freedom train,

 

Where freedoms on your side,

 

All aboard calls the conductor,

 

As we bourd the trian,

 

Welcome to the freedom train,

 

Please step in side,

 

Come aboard the freedom train,

 

Come and take a ride,

 

Climb on the freedom train,

 

Where freedoms on your side ,

 

enjoy the ride he says as the trian leaves the station,

 

This is a good way,

 

To spend a vacation.

[WildStar 0]

On vacation? Where are you?

261630[/snapback]

Clearlake Californa, and we whent to Valleyjo CA to a place down there. and it was so agravating

[WildStar 0]

thisis one of my best that i have made you think?

[Airies 0]

^ Very Cute. I love Halloween. Fall is my favorite time of the year. Halloween is my favorite holiday.

[WildStar 0]

Thank you Airies

[WildStar 0]

Hi this is some thing i made for halloween

[Airies 0]

How very cute.

[WildStar 0]

lol what do ya think of this one

[WildStar 0]

Well I havce been haveing some trouble posting in my picter album sayiing i am doing some thing wrong or some thing what is it that is wrong?