Don't you hate it when....

[VaBeachGuy 12]

Don't you hate it when people are nice to you and act like your friend but then get into a chat room that talk about you behind your back and think that because you aren't there you won't hear from other people what was said?

[Bethlehem 7]

That type of thing generaly hurts someones feelings, we expect our friends to stand beside us not stab us in the back.

[RikerChick 5]

Don't you hate it when people are nice to you and act like your friend but then get into a chat room that talk about you behind your back and think that because you aren't there you won't hear from other people what was said?

 

Yes I do. I also hate it when people make assumptions about you based on what they want to believe instead of what's actually going on.

[VaBeachGuy 12]

Don't you hate it when people are nice to you and act like your friend but then get into a chat room that talk about you behind your back and think that because you aren't there you won't hear from other people what was said?

 

Yes I do. I also hate it when people make assumptions about you based on what they want to believe instead of what's actually going on.

Yeah, you know what they say about people that "ASSume".

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

Don't you hate it when people are nice to you and act like your friend but then get into a chat room that talk about you behind your back and think that because you aren't there you won't hear from other people what was said?

It doesn't necessarily have to be in a chat room. I found out that someone who I used to look up to in real life has been talking smack about me. One of the people she has been talking to told me and now he is getting the same treatment because he told me.

 

It would be one thing if this behavior went on in high school or college but all the people involved in this interaction are in their 40s or older.

[Gummy 0]

IMHO, I don't care what people say about me behind my back.

When they talk about you, then they're not paying attention to themselves.

 

Besides, I would rather be respected than liked.

[VaBeachGuy 12]

IMHO, I don't care what people say about me behind my back.

When they talk about you, then they're not paying attention to themselves.

 

Besides, I would rather be respected than liked.

It's not really a matter of being liked, but it is a sign of disrespect. Personally I could care less if someone wants to talk about me. It's the whole "two faced" thing that bothers me.

[Gummy 0]

IMHO, I don't care what people say about me behind my back.

When they talk about you, then they're not paying attention to themselves.

 

Besides, I would rather be respected than liked.

It's not really a matter of being liked, but it is a sign of disrespect. Personally I could care less if someone wants to talk about me. It's the whole "two faced" thing that bothers me.

It happens to me all of the time.

I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me, but it's not something that I let consume me.

The better man just ignores it and moves on.

And I know that you're the better man, Kevin.

[VaBeachGuy 12]

IMHO, I don't care what people say about me behind my back.

When they talk about you, then they're not paying attention to themselves.

 

Besides, I would rather be respected than liked.

It's not really a matter of being liked, but it is a sign of disrespect. Personally I could care less if someone wants to talk about me. It's the whole "two faced" thing that bothers me.

It happens to me all of the time.

I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me, but it's not something that I let consume me.

The better man just ignores it and moves on.

And I know that you're the better man, Kevin.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that it's someone talking about me in particular. It may or may not be, but in general terms I'd just rather a person be the same to your "face" as they are when you aren't there.

[Gummy 0]

IMHO, I don't care what people say about me behind my back.

When they talk about you, then they're not paying attention to themselves.

 

Besides, I would rather be respected than liked.

It's not really a matter of being liked, but it is a sign of disrespect. Personally I could care less if someone wants to talk about me. It's the whole "two faced" thing that bothers me.

It happens to me all of the time.

I'd be lying if I said that it didn't bother me, but it's not something that I let consume me.

The better man just ignores it and moves on.

And I know that you're the better man, Kevin.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that it's someone talking about me in particular. It may or may not be, but in general terms I'd just rather a person be the same to your "face" as they are when you aren't there.

I completely understand.

And agree 110%.

[Kor37 9]

I think its amazing that some people think that they can talk about you behind your back to several people and not expect you to hear about it. I'm used to it and don't let it bother me. In my case, its some of my employees. They kiss my a.ss left and right when they are talking to me yet trash me to other employees. Of course, the other employees always come back to tell me about it. I never tell the ones that trash me that I found out that they did. I like to keep them off-guard by following the rule that states " Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"........

[Gummy 0]

I think its amazing that some people think that they can talk about you behind your back to several people and not expect you to hear about it. I'm used to it and don't let it bother me. In my case, its some of my employees. They kiss my a.ss left and right when they are talking to me yet trash me to other employees. Of course, the other employees always come back to tell me about it. I never tell the ones that trash me that I found out that they did. I like to keep them off-guard by following the rule that states " Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"........

Words to live by.

[hangon 3]

Well i have a saying and its simple.."If you dont have the balls to say it to someones face..then dont say it".

 

My self i counldt give a rats butt what people say about me in a chat room or on a site coz bottom line is my life is more then my connection to the internet and thats all that matters..mabe something to do with my car crash that one..lol

 

Still it really sucks when you think someone is a friend and behind your back talking crap about you..hell i been there and back on that one thats why my few friends online are close trustable friends which i have picked VERY carefully.

[Theunicornhunter 2]

two-facers, gossips, brown-nosers, office busybodies - they all stink. But most people figure out when someone is two faced or dishonest and learn not to believe them at all; however those people can do some real damage until they're found out.

[mj 7]

I think people who are bosses, teachers, owners, etc always get the 'benefit' of both brown-nosing and slander.

 

As a teacher, I can say that I have been a little heart-broken at times that my students cannot recognize that the the requirements I have established for them are for their benefit. I am one of those on the 'do not take' list at my institution, and I know some of the things that are regularly said about me. But mostly I view it as my responsibility to operate in the best interest of my students whether they gripe or not.

 

On the other hand, I often complain to fellow teachers about the lack of motivation, and unwillingness to work that I see in the classroom. That is, I also talk about my students. So it goes both ways. I probably should only do such things in the context of looking for better teaching methods in light of 'current realities', but often I just complain. This means that I am a little 'two-faced' at times when dealing with my students. On the one hand I try to encourage them to work harder.....on the other hand I complain about them to others when they do not make an effort. So I should behave better than that.

 

The best response to back-biting that I have seen involves a relative with a problem that was exposed by another relative. It could not have come out at a worse time for our extended family. For a long time the source of the information was not known. But when it was finally known, I initially found it hard to forgive this big-mouthed relative. However the relative whose problem was exposed was completely forgiving. His response was that if he harbored a grudge for how things happened, he would not be able to come to the aid of the individual if the person ever needed his help. (He had helped this individual in the past.) And that's the kind of person he is, and that's the best response to being the victim of back-biting: forgive.

[Corina Arazius 1]

Ugh, yeah I hate that too. Makes you wonder who you can trust

[Lady Britannia 0]

Don't you hate it when people are nice to you and act like your friend but then get into a chat room that talk about you behind your back and think that because you aren't there you won't hear from other people what was said?

 

No, not really. It makes no sense to waste time and energy "hating" anybody. Particularly those on internet chat rooms. If someone is nice to me, that's great. If they then started talking behind my back, then really who cares?

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Well Brit, I would tend to think you'd differ your opinion on that if it were to happen, Oh wait, it has.

 

Anyway, I think it's the way of people that just haven't matured out of middle school. Typically they aren't responsible for their own actions either, so they have to find something "wrong" with others in order to feel better about themselves.

 

It's rather the disappointment I feel in people that is more disheartening. You put trust and faith in them, and they let you down. Trust is big, very big with me.

[VaBeachGuy 12]

Don't you hate it when people are nice to you and act like your friend but then get into a chat room that talk about you behind your back and think that because you aren't there you won't hear from other people what was said?

 

No, not really. It makes no sense to waste time and energy "hating" anybody. Particularly those on internet chat rooms. If someone is nice to me, that's great. If they then started talking behind my back, then really who cares?

Don't misunderstand, I don't "hate" anyone. But what I do hate is some people's two faced actions, wild (and incorrect) assumptions and back stabbing.

[Sini 0]

it bothers me alot, i've been on the talked about side as well as having to listen to a friend bad mouth another friend and both are just crappy, if you really dont like someone then fine you dont have to i really dont care that much if someone doesnt like me but if they act like they like me and then talk about how much they dont like me when im not around i dont think that is ok. if you dont like someone either be willing to say it to them or at the very least dont act like you do like them

[youbroughtheryouRiker 2]

I don't particularly like it, but I'm also not surprised when it happens. I know I'm not too wonderful a guy to not say anything bad about me, and if I'm not getting told to my face what it is, I have to assume it's being done behind my back.

[oldfan1 0]

Ugh, yeah I hate that too. Makes you wonder who you can trust

 

I don't trust very many people anymore. I was burned by so-called friends when I hit a very bad point in my life that nearly cost me my life. I associate with a few friends that stuck by me and that's it. I talk a bit with a few folks on here in the chat room on occasion but none of you really know who and what I am about.

Edited September 6, 2008 by oldfan1