Lursa 0 Posted September 21, 2004 Personal Log StarDate: 092104 Im sick as a dog right now. I am on so many medieces that i want to die. Its really sad you know that i'm at school bored out of my mind, and im writing this. But some of my friends, well most of them are really pissing me off. Like today, all they want to do is point and laugh. I have alot better things to do with my time. I only hope that i have a chance to see the man of my dreams once again. It was really great to be with him alone..... End Log Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airies 0 Posted September 21, 2004 Why are at school if you are sick? You should be at home resting. Isn't this the 3rd log you have started. I thought I posted in your log before Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted September 21, 2004 * Only one log is allowed per person. If you want to start a new log please contact me or ddillard before starting a new one so we can close your old one. If you'd like to have part or all of your log deleted that's fine too, just let one of us know and we'll take care of it for you. I've closed your other two logs, please keep only one personal log and take a look at the sticky thread regarding rules for personal logs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airies 0 Posted September 21, 2004 * Only one log is allowed per person. If you want to start a new log please contact me or ddillard before starting a new one so we can close your old one. If you'd like to have part or all of your log deleted that's fine too, just let one of us know and we'll take care of it for you. I've closed your other two logs, please keep only one personal log and take a look at the sticky thread regarding rules for personal logs. 265310[/snapback] ^^^^Sorry Lursa didn't mean to get you into any trouble. <_< Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RikerChick 5 Posted September 21, 2004 Hey I'm no mean mod, nobody's in trouble. Just want to make sure everyone reads the rules for personal logs is all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted September 23, 2004 Stardate: 092204 Start Log.......... It seems to me that i am not the normal Klingon teenager. My whole family is werid and all that i have is my mother, father, and little sister. Sometimes, I wonder what the heck is wrong with me!!! I've been sick alot lately and i dont know why. Maybe it is my time to go to Sto Va Kor who knows? But I can't take all of this stress in my life. But one thing is for sure, i had a great time at the homecoming party, with the human of course. At first, when me and lets call him R, were friends in the first place I thought that i would see him in a different light. I'm thinking that i am falling in love with him :) I look at him as my king, for i am his queen. He brings the light in my sea of darkness. I can only hope that he feels the same way that i do. Love, what can I say, is a compliated thing. You don't know where it is going to take you and how it affects your state of mind. At first, I thought that captain would not be happy with how i am feeling. Being on deep space nine, at such a young age has it good sides and of course bad sides. Since R is on the Lexington, I don't get to see him alot and that does put a strain on our friendship. Then again, i am so tired of being known as just "the friend" I want to be known as more than that. I want to be the lover in someone eyes to be the one that they desire. When I wake up one morning, I want to wake up to the person of my dreams, the one that will make me feel complete. I think that he is the one for many reasons. First off, we have alot in common and we know each others wants and needs in life. He is very good-looking for a human so i will not turn this moment down. I will tell him sooner or later, just waiting for that time to come. Besides romance, I am up to my knees in homework and stupid space station work. It's hard enough to be a Klingon, but to follow the human culture that is a whole different sujbect to dicuss at a later time. End Log Lursa :) :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted September 24, 2004 Stardate: 092404 Start Log i intend to kill my teacher today, being at the adaemy was easier than this. He gives us a test today and im like this is so stupid because he doesn't know what he is doing. He just gives all this homework, and then expects all of us to be A students. Trust me, my grades are not good at all sometimes i wonder why me. I work hard, do hard, and play hard and nothing seems to come out right at all. The main reason why i started this log, was to show my feelings of how it is like to be a Klingon of DS9 and now go to school at the same time. It can be hard at times, but you have to make due with what you got. Rob is still on the Lexington and i will com him tomorrow about setting another date to go to homecoming. I have plenty of work to do. I haven't even found the outfit that i am looking for. But i intend to stand out and not be like everyone else. Being like others can make life really boring, But if you look around DS9 is completely different from that. My hopes and dreams are coming true. But i want to be a singer, model, musican, and journalist. My talents come from far and wide. But yet, im still sick of being made fun of all the time at school. The kids of DS9 my school, they lost the eve of being a teen and having fun. Now, i do have my serious moments, but i don't forget were i came from and how to enjoy my life before it is my time to go and be judged. I hope that everyone is doing well and i need to get back to work before the captain has my head lol. End log Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airies 0 Posted September 24, 2004 Watch how you use the word "kill" in these days someone could misinterpit what you mean. Ya know what I mean? Life can be stressful, especially as a teenager. Try to hang in there and enjoy you teenage years, cause they go by quick. :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted September 24, 2004 Stardate: 092404 Today i feel that i have felt something that i have never felt before.... I think that i am truely in love with someone. This feeling is so new to me that sometimes even i do know what to do with myself. But i have to make this one short cause school will end soon. End log Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted September 28, 2004 Stardate: 092704 Hello once again my dear diary, Man so much has occured in a short amount of time. I asked Rob out to my homecoming i was so nervous i thought that i was going to run like a vole. I want him to be my pat'marchel someday with god's grace. But, anyways i want him to be able to go, but i hope so because that would be cool i need this release of being around my good friend lol. It is so hard for me to have a normal teen life, personally i feel more like an adult everyday and that really sucks you know lol But that is oh ok to be mature for your age. Sometimes, it is the little things that matter in life. It is better to overlook big details and work on improvements. But i hope that everything will work for me. I want to be big someday, I want to become a household name to be famous, under the right reasons and i dont care how long it will take me, but i want to make and finish up college as well. Right now, i am so mixed up with these feelings and emotions and i dont know where to get rid of them from. Im lost in that world that we all go to, filled with despair and the hope that we finish the dream that we set on this planet for. God will forigve me for all that ive done, being an evil wicccan to even giving myself to the wrong side of religon. I use it as an exuse to not fact what i have to face and that is myself. Sometimes, facing yourself can be your worst enemy lol. But if you believe, then anything is possible End Log............ Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airies 0 Posted September 29, 2004 So did he say yes to going with you? Yes it is ok to be mature for your age but remember to enjoy each age as they come cause you only get to be that age once and when it's gone, it's gone for good. Take it from somebody who was 19 yesterday listening to Bon Jovi and Head Banging to Metallica hanging out with my friends and playing SuperMario bothers a (the latest game of the time ). all night and getting up for school the next day. Now today I'm 32 with 3 kids a wife and 2 jobs. Fate has a funny way of sneaking up on you. Oh, and yes God will forgive you if you accept Jesus into your heart and ask for forgivness you will be given new life. Good luck. Never forget life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once and a while, you might miss something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted September 30, 2004 Statedate: 0902904 Begin entry................. It was so hard for me today. I didn't know what to say or even better yet what to do. One of my favorite holidays is almost here, Halloween. I wish that it was more than one day lol. A good time, to have some friends over or watch some really great horror movies lol :P But i love to know if Rob is going to take me to homecoming. He was supposed to call me back, and now I am a little worried. If he can't go he needs to let me know because i can't stand it . I don't want to waste money on tickets and he is not going. But i trust him, I know that he will come no matter what. But now, yesterday i found out that the guy that i like only sees me as a friend and that really sucks you know. I'm tired of being just the friend and not the lover maybe i don't know i was meant to be alone. It is sometimes hard of me cause sometimes i wonder if something is wrong with me.I can compare my past with those memories of the future. What does it have to hold? When i get there, will i be able to contain myself from losing my insanity. Its not easy for me sometimes but maybe watching some tv will calm my nerves. Today was an intresting day, at school i was able to talk to one of my long time friends james. He is truely a great guy, and hope that we will be friends for a long time to come. So much has happened, in such a little time. I almost done with high school and getting on with the rest of life that is truely amazing. I am almost done with season 5 of deep space nine and i have to say that it is a great show. Odo as a character has another side to him. He is human again, but then he gets changes back into orginal form. You are beginning to see the relationship between him and Major Kira envolve. It is great to know that you can learn so much about people by just commutcating with them on a one-on- one session. Well, my time is short and i need to finish the rest of my homework. End log........ Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Airies 0 Posted September 30, 2004 Man I know the feeling. The friend thing. Wow how that brings back memories. Oh let me tell you how I can relate. I had to wait until I was 19 to find someone to truly love me. And ya know what? I married her and have been married for 12 years and have 3 kids. (well she got pregnant with our 1st before we were married but who cares about the details :( ) We are still happily married. I know of allot of people who had to wait allot longer than that to find their true love. Don't look so hard for him, he will find you. Until then enjoy being young and school cause when it's over man it's over quick. I mean I'm 32 and it just seemed like yesterday I was hanging at my friends house and playing Super Mario Bros. on Super Nintendo (the lastest in high tech gaming of the time :P ) then getting up and going to school after very little sleep. Yep, the good ol' days. Of course I did not see it like that back then I was miserable and alone or so I thought. I had lots of friends. I think if (is it Rob?) does not call you by the end of this weekend you need to call him and say whats up with Homecoming? Because being strung along and then getting disappointed is the worse! Good luck. Keep your friends close and the rest will follow. Yep DS9 was a great show, the Odo, Kira romance kept me going for a long time. Hope you enjoy them. Keep on Trekkin! :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted October 12, 2004 Dear log, Man this week really sucked and it was the worst weekend i have evedr had. Sometimes I hate my life so much that i wish that i was not alive at all. Homecoming was not meant to be all. Me and rob didnt go because he had to play a football game and was sick as well. So i was worried about him this whole week that i had to call him. When i called, his father picked up the phone and well he went out anyway. Now a part of me doesn't want to trust him anymore you know. But i can only hope that this week will go for the best. End log...... Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted October 20, 2004 Stardate: 102004 Begin Log................. Well, like ive said many times before, time is something that we must not take for granted. Well now i will be turning 18 very soon and i can't wait to have my party. I have not had one since i was 10 and now i feel like i deserve it and its great to know that so many people are coming! I still have some invitations to give out, but it will be time enough lol :) lol. Me and Rob and back on good terms which is always good because i care about him so much lol. But the fact of the matter is how all the trekkies are doing because i miss all of you :). But i have to go once again duty calls lol End log............... Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A l t e r E g o 9 Posted October 20, 2004 No party since you were ten??? It's high time to have one! It's great to hear your patching things up with Rob, I wish you continued good luck in that area. We miss you too, post when you can; we're always open... :) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted October 27, 2004 Stardate 102704 Begin Log........ I'm sorry that i have not been on had i should be but i have been so busy since the last time that i left my last log. Things have been really werid lately. Like Rob forgot my birthday and on october 24th i am now 18. Now i am happy about that but its seems like i have no balance in my life like i used to. It's like everything is fall apart well i will leave some posts on here so until next time..... End entry........... Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A l t e r E g o 9 Posted October 27, 2004 We're always here, post when you are able. My prayer goes out for you Lursa. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted November 2, 2004 Begin Hailing Frequency............. Begin Log................. Computer: Log is now starting................ Stardate: 110204 Today has been one of those days where you wish that YOU where dead. I mean where do i even begin? First, a friend of mine James he is a great person has stopped talking to me for no reason me and him were cool until he stopped talking to me. He won't give me a reason to why he is acting this way but the funny thing is i don't intend to find out. The world has close in one me and i dont know why people are treating me so wrong. Rob's birthday was in August so every year i always call him to wish him a happy birthday, but for some reason he did not to that for me. my birthday was on the 24th of october and well i told when my birthday was and he didn't remember at all, and that really hurt. When i told him that it was my birthday, all he told me was good and i was like THAT IS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to have anything to do with people anymore. I am sick and tired of being hurt all the time and feeling depressed. I dont get why all these bad and dumb girls who know that they are smart they have the boyfriends and they are really happy. I am tired of having to see them be so happy when i am lonely and have no one to be friends with or be loved. Sometimes, I wish that someone out there would hear this and callout for me. That they want me and that they desire me as the person and not me as the person. I want to at least have some romance in my life. But then again there are some days where i don't feel human. end log.................. Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted November 3, 2004 Stardate: 110304 Personal Log Begin.................. Computer this may be the funniest thing that has happen to me in a long time. Well you see, it started when rob i thought forgot about my birthday and well he did, but the only thing is that he didnt say happy birthday which really pissed me off. But, he did me a classical cd that i really liked in the first place. Me and him both have a passion for music and we might just hang out sometimes. I have to confese i do love him alot but now i am not ready for romance, yet i want it so bad lol that i chould die. But now things are getting back to normal. but, andy is really pissing me off so i dont want to talk to him and school is really becoming a pain my *buttocks*. I dont know what i want to do now all i will do is pray to stay on the right path...... End log....... Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted November 7, 2004 Stardate 0411.7 Computer begin entry........... Well a part of me is so glad that i finished Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Which is my view is the greatest star trek series. It is more humane and has alot better storylines to focus on. I might even buy Trekkies the movie part one and part two. i find it to be interesting what people will do for their love of star trek. One guy permaently changed his name to James T. Kirk, another women wears hear starfeet uniform to work every day. Even a denist changed his whole office to fit with the world of star trek. Even him and his staff dress up like star trek characters everyday. I might be working on a starfeet uniform very soon. and a klingon uniform as well. Since i am also a fan of babylon 5 and my favorite character is Ambassdor Delenn from the Minbari federation i am working on having her costume as well. I also have some good news. Section31.com a premier Star Trek website, has offered me a job that i applied for. I am now an offical Trek book reviewer. So make sure that you check that site out sometime!. Well i must depart oh dear log i have alot of work to do and so little time to do it. Lursa :lol: B) :o :o :borgqueen: :o B) :o Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted November 9, 2004 Yo, Stardate 0411.9 Well alot had happened since i have been gone. Well most of it is due to reading a fortune cookie that i got at a resturant today its said that i will find my true love very soon. I am really hyped about it but another part of me wishes that i was in love now lol. Well, today i went to a local compeition from Adademic contest. Not alot of people care about it at all espeically at my school. They would rather focus on football than on the arts at my school its really sad. Well i wanted to post some more on section 31's forum and this one as well. Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted November 15, 2004 Stardate 0411.14 Well sometimes there is a time where you can have no sleeptime to yourself. and sometimes i just want to be like i wish i could get some sleep. With whats going on lately star trek fans has been keeping me in a good mood. Also this site has been keeping my hopes up so i dont think that i am losing my mind already. Living up in the country sometimes, it gets a little to quiet for my tastes and i just want to live in the city sometimes. At least, there is some noise there and you don't feel like someone is coming after you to kill you lol . Lets hope that is not the case. Im in love offical with rob, and i think that he might know that i am feeling the same way about him, but only time will tell. See that is the thing about love you dont know where it is going to come from or when is going to harm you. Love is a dangerous thing i will have to admit. It can make you do things that you normally would not do even for a family member. But today, was a revelation for me I realized that i was doing more harm than good and well i had to fix that. And when i did things got back to normal yet a part of me doesn't want me to get back to my "normal" self. I feel like the Dax symbiot lol :P I feel so many emotions, and yet everyday when i wake up i feel like a completely different person. Today was a very boring day for me and i dont look forward to tomorrow either. I have school and that is always boring for me. I am senior, is there really any poing for me to be in school anyway? Im done with almost all of credits i think that high schools all over should have a senior day at school. This way only seniors are allowed and do their own studies and such. Also i have decided that i need to get back is shape again so i have started to workout again. But, I am such a busy person that i don't have chance to work out sometimes. But this time, no matter what, I have to make that change in my life for the greater good. I'm tired of being in pain and not being happy. Maybe my changing i can create this haven of peace that i longed waited for. Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted November 22, 2004 Stardate 0411.22 Dear log, I sitll have not hear from my friend in such a long time. I miss him like crazy and i want to see him more and i want to tell hime something that i have finally been waiting for to tell him. I want to tell him that i love him before it is too late. I don't think that i have time left so i will have to do it sooner or later. I am not going to wait i have to tell him. It is eating me up inside but i have to go there is much work to be done. Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted November 29, 2004 Stardate: 0411.29 Alot of BS has been going lately and my parents had to make it worse by saying that i dont dress like a lady. I cant wait to get older because my parents wont be able to tell me what to do. I am so sick and tired of women having to be weak. And not being able to be strong and free will. Girls can do everything that they want. Even at school things are getting worse and my dreams are becoming more powerful and stronger. And i know that when i get home things will not be the same ever again. Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted December 2, 2004 Stardate: 0412.1 Today is the start of a new day for me, but with that i must be full of bad luck lol. First, i am only getting 2 hours of sleep, and for a klingon like me sometimes you need just a little bit of shut-eye. But ont thing that i glad about is that i finished babylon 5 season four which was filled with action-packed sences. But on a side note, a friend of mine just told me that his mother has breast cancer. So, if you will send out prayers for her that would mean alot to him and his family. It has also been a rough week for me, i didn't get alot of sleep lately. I have been working on school projects up to my butt, and i hate the fact that my senior year in high school has become a living nightmare. I have worked so hard to get there and now i just want to have some fun and nothing is happeing right for me. There are some times when i wish that i was not born at all. In reality, i would not have any of these problem at all. LoL, as for now i have not called Rob in a month and that is mainly due to his not calling me. I hate it when people do that to me and that is like all the time. Its like you know when you have these people say that they are your friend, but then you wonder deep-down. This is a load of BS how can you say that you are my friend when you don't even take the time to call me in return? I call him all the time and now enough is enough and i am tired of having to work in-order to have a friendship. So it is up to him now to call me or not. But then for my week to get even worse, i did not make it on the adademic team to compete this year for our school. Now my coach was expecting me to piss off and complain. But, I did the complete oppssite, I told her thank you for the chance and how much i enjoyed doing it and left. I wanted to be so bad on there since it is my last year, but then it lightens my load because there is alot of studying to be done is this competition, so i respect her wishes. Well my friends, there is my 2 cents that i have to leave. Peace and love, Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted December 3, 2004 Stardate: 0412.3 Time is not being good to me at all. I am so sick and tired right now that i wish that i was not in school. I feel today down the stairs and also i fell in the shower last night which was not fun at all. William Shanter was on tv last night and he also has a new album that i want so bad. I heard that it was good. But i was so out it, that i wanted to die and not wake up. I don't have anytime to sleep nor to even relax but when i get home today i want to finish watching the vail. It is a 10 episode dvd show that never made it big time. But that is my weekend right there. I haver to get going i have some homework to finish up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted December 5, 2004 Stardate: 0412.5 Today i embark on a journey on enlightment. The enlightment, is a sence of finding one place in the world and my friend i will speak the truth and tell you how hard it can to find that. Now i need to find out what the future and what it means to me. To boldly go where no woman has gone before. All of my friends have found theirs, now i need to find mine before it is too late. But, on a side note, i am thinking of working more on my website and making better than it was before. So i may not post on here sometimes because of that. But I would like to thank all the nice people who have helped me on here. And also robert called me a couple of days ago, thank god lol so i might just call him back. Oh io have to go once again...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted December 7, 2004 Stardate: 0412.7 Class today is so werid I am so sick and tired of school. There is so much to do. well i have to get going i have work to do. Lursa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lursa 0 Posted December 9, 2004 Stardate: 0412.8 Man this week has been a busy week indeed. It's like when will this week every end. I had some fun things to do like write an essay which is always a pain. But one that i am glad about is that i had the chance to have review done for on section31.com. That site is really amazing but sometimes the updates can be slow. But that is alot of work to be done so i dont blame them at all. But Robert is being more affectionate to my needs but things are kinda werid between us. I don't know if i should give my gift to him or not. A part of me, the good side wants me to, but now i feel like as if i'm buying friendship. The funny thing is that i should not at all, i love people but it is hard for people to love me back. Ever since Andrew this guy that i liked and im friends with still i like him and he stood me up and well the rest is history. But it is sad that i am not in a relationship yet. But as they say, those things come in time. I finished my offical trek novel today. It's from the orignal series, which i am really looking forward to reading some more. So i started on DS9 novel called bloodletter which was based on an offical tv episode. So far, it's good but i will give some more details as i read. I can't wait until the weekend is here because sleep is the only thing that i have on my mind. When you have schedule like mine, life nevers pauses it is always on the go. But i know that deep down inside i need to get used to this. A test tomorrow, well more like 2 tests and i don't look forward to both of them in the first place. And tomorrow, i will get the answers to the sheet that I completed well most of class. Well i am having a log block so everyone take care. Lady Lursa out............... Computer................Permisson granted Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
