Lursa's Personal Log (Part2)

[KIMIMELA 1]

Poor Lursa! I feel sorry for you. College can, and is, stressful but why don't you talk to your lecturer/proffessor? Maybe he/she could help you out? *Shrug*

 

The semester will get better for you. (I hope ) Look on the bright side, it's the qualification you're gaining! :)

[stvoyagerfan 1]

I am still having problems with my college newspaper, which is driving me crazy because I am not doing anything wrong! All of the editors are not allowing me to do any work, which is a big part of my grade and I hate the fact that they are being really diffcult and act harsh to me too as well! I can't wait for this semeter to end, becuase I am getting really pissed off!

 

i can understand that. i am supposed to get paid by my college newspaper for every article that's published and i have yet to see a check and i have had three published. i filled out the proper paperwork and everything. it can be stressful. when i started writing for the paper we had a bad editor who everyone complained about. i hate it when people get on a power trip which sounds like what's going on. things will work out in the end.

 

college is one of those things where you have stressful times and not so stressful times. but in the end the rewards are worth it.

 

tm

[Lursa 0]

Stardate: 0512.02

 

I hate the holiday season. Instead of saying "it's the most wonderful time of the year' in reality it is the worst time of year! This is one month that people lose their minds and go on the rampage for the perfect gift! And then comes Christmas is over and they return all of the crap that they brought back to wal-mart and then you know I have to shelf the crap back up!!!!! It is really a pain to do so.

 

I love God, and he is the main reason why I am here, besides my parents. But the holidays, to me no longer brings the sharings of the heart, but more like "who is the first person to be run over." We must stop putting overselves into these pain-staking feats for a X-box 360! Who cares about wireless controllers and the shape is apalling to me. But, to make matter worse the bloody price!

 

I am trying to save most of my money, but it goes off to stupid things like US Cellular. I recommend anyone here who has a phone with their company to turn it off and burn it!!!!! They have, by far the worst customer service and help ever and today I went through hell just to cancel my service with them. It took 8 people to give the same answer! Man, I have not been having a good week!

 

But, on the upside my grades are going up really well, and thank you guys so much for your support! I just started to work in the electronics deparment and that is becoming a nice job as well. Plus, I get to work with people, which is what matter to me the most. Then, I got to new PS2 games for my system there are:

 

Fullmetal Alchemist: and the broken angel

 

Samurai Legend Musashi

 

I have to finish playing Arc the Lad 4, which is the longest game ever, but it is good! I also just found out that Anne Rice's new book it is out called Out of Egypt, pick it up guys it is going to be a hit. Well, as for love Nick has done it again. He has another girl in his house, in HIS bedroom while his family was over for Thanksgiving. What the heck? He thinks that it fun and games, but somehow it might come and bite him back in the butt today. The world of Trek, is slow right now, no new series Theshold is doing good on CBS, but I don't think it will be around like a Trek series. We will just have to wait and see! And once I finish my Anne Rice collection, on the side I will be getting back into the Trek Literatuure.

 

Lursa signing off.

[MrPsychic 1]

Trust me Lursa, you're better off without Nick. All he does is go behind your back and have a girl in his bed. If someone I cared about did that, I would basically say to them "I gave you a chance, and you kept messing up my trust, so just go away"

[Lursa 0]

Stardate: 0512.12

 

Well as this semeter comes to an end, all i can think about is that I am glad that it is coming to an end. I didn't talk to anyone at all, especially Nick. Today he asked me why i was not talking to him. I told him that it was a bad week that I was having. Then, he said that he didnt care why I was not talking to him because he didnt do anything wrong. So now I am really thinking that Nick is a jerk for real. If he really cared as a friend he would have asked how I was feeling and why I was talking to him or other people.

 

Why do I always seem to drag in bad people into my life. Robert, Nick, Andy what is next! But, at least I will be able to get paid and get my anime and also some other dvd sets that I wanted. At least the holidays I am getting what I want. But yet, I still am alone and dealing with azzholes in my life. Someday they will learn.

 

Lursa out.

[Validus 0]

I know how you feel...I had to shoplift more this year then all the previous years put together just to give everyone gifts...

 

[i'm kidding]

 

Seriously...I've spent more then $400.00 and a good part of that was on people I don't even like half the time. What a pain!

[Lursa 0]

Tell me about it. That is why i hate the holidays. You tend to spend so much money it will make your head spin. Even at wal-mart there were 20 thefts in 1 hour.

[Lursa 0]

Stardate: 0512.30

 

I hate that i have a credit card. You would think that credit would be a benefit it is more like a curse. Since the beginning of this week, my credit card problems is going in a circle. First they placed 8 blocks on my card, so that i could not use it. Eventough i had money in my account. Checking and all. But being out of school is great. No more people harassing my azz all the time.

 

Also i was able to get my anime boxed sets from www.kcdvd.com. They guy is really cool and they had a sale that is going on right now. All anime cd's and dvd's are 50 percent off. Is that a good deal or what!

 

Here are the followings things that i am getting:

 

Ai Yori Aoshi

 

El Hazard The Wanderers

 

Love Hina Perfect TV

 

Love Hina Movies

 

Onegai Twins

 

Tenchi Muyo! GXP

 

Tenchi Universe

 

Tenchi in Tokyo

 

I was thinking of getting some more because it is such a great deal for them. Also, I finished watching all of TOS videos that i have. It is one the best sci-fi series on tv the speical effects may have been great, but the storylines are compeling. But mainly, I will try to focus on trek literature. It is very overlooked and i hope to bring a better understanding of it into the limelight.

 

Robert e-mailed me yesterday asking me to call him on Sunday. Should i really call him? It is about time that he should call me and i have left him in the past, but it is as if he is coming back for more. Now that i am Commodore, things have to change for the better. Are therr any special options that i get for getting to this level? I wish the brand new year to everyone my god bless us all.

 

Lursa out.

[Kor37 9]

Now that i am Commodore, things have to change for the better. Are therr any special options that i get for getting to this level?

 

Yes! You now have the option to block Robert!... B)

[Lursa 0]

Very Funny Kor! lol....

 

Stardate:0601.11

 

Friends, I am glad to take a leave of rest, but I am back! Things have been hard with me lately espeically with my parents. They can not see the fact that i can handle some things on my own. Like they are always bothering me about my weight as such that it stresses me out more and more and making me want to eat more and more not I workout out everyday in the mornings and also when i come from work. Maybe then that can get off of my case. Robert is trying very hard to come back in my life but I will not let him. He e-mailed me telling me that he would be home and that I should call him. If not, he told me that he would call me this weekend.

 

If he taking me to be THAT stupid, then he is in for a suripise this is 2006, and things will change for me, for the better. I will do whatever it takes to make it, because I am sick and tired of having those kind of people in my life who don't care. Besides that I finished watching Onegai Twins and Ai Yori Aoshi. They are both great anime series that are often wau overlloked. Next Trek book assignment is Sarek and it's a great book. Boy... Do i have alot of reading to do.

 

Lursa out.

[Kor37 9]

You Go Girl!....

[Lursa 0]

Stardate:0601.22

 

Kor... once again you have enlighted my soul lol. I would like to thank you for the support!

 

Hey all,

 

Well, I start college again tomorrow and I hope things will work out. I am looking at 4 colleges right they are:

 

Central Michigan University

 

Columbia College

 

UW-Whitewater

 

UW-Okstosh

 

They all have there ups and down but I have changed my mind about the carrer path that I have chosen. Broadcasting is really not for me, and I really don't see a future for me. I would like to be in a field where women have to open. For me, that is photography. So, I have decided to go to school for photojournalism to be exact. Personally, we need more women in this field. It is field that i see a lot of men in, and it time for me to share the passion of storytelling. I love the camera and photoshop so, I will do anything to learn and no one is going to get in my way.

 

It is time for me to grow up, and I can't wait to move out and be on my own. It is not like I don't like my parents, I love my parents to death, but I really it is time for me to learn how to grow without my parents always being there. I would like to be my own person, and develop memories besides all the ones I have in Wisconsin. If I am to travel I am going to do to gain experience and not to run away from problems. My mother told me that I should call Robert, and I had a dream that I was talking to him.

 

So I picked up the phone and called him. To my surprise, he said that it was long time and that i STILL exist on this planet! After all that time that is all you can say to me. Anyways, it gets even better then he thought that I was living in a dorm. Then, I confronted him and asked him why he was treating so badly after all these years. I told him to not forget the people who have been here for you. He got quiet, and told me that he was going to school is Gettyburg and that all of friends would be there and he would be happy there. It was if a mental "f***k you was in order." I was like ah the final closure. Waiting to Exahale remineded me of this moment in my mind. This my way of letting go.

 

He can go off, I have closure and I don't care anymore. It is amazing how we were such good friend as kids and futher develop into twisted spell of despair. Now, is a new year, new time, and new places for my dreams to go. All of the events, are growth and only me can change the future.

 

Lursa out.

[Lursa 0]

Update:

 

Since my new passion for photography, I have also picked up graphic design as well. The New Signature that you see I designed that from sratch, including the background design as well. Tell me what you think! it is also hard to resize pictures as well! I also got George's Takai's autobiography I love him, such a great author. Also to keep you guys informed I am including the following things:

 

Currently watching: Everybody Loves Raymond Season 2

 

Currently Reading: Pandora by Anne Rice/ To the Stars: The Autobiography of George Takei

 

Reading Manga: Dragon Knights Volume 3

 

Video game that I am playing: Samurai Legeend Musachi

 

Lursa out.

[stvoyagerfan 1]

very nice. it took me going to college and taking a class and failing it to find out that wasn't the career field for me. i switched to stuff related to computers mostly web and graphic design stuff. it's another of those fields where there isn't a lot of woman. i took a computer class and out of forty some students there were four women including myself. you have a knack for the graphic design that could come in handy with the photography stuff. espeically if you use photoshop and stuff. good luck in the future.

 

tm

[Lursa 0]

Thanks for the support Stvoyagerfan21! It means a lot to me to see women who support other women in their carrer choices! Good luck to you as well!!! I use a lot of photoshop and i am spending a lot of time with it.

 

Stardate: 0601.30

 

Man, did I hate the weekend! I had to work and do my homework which I am doing right now! Oh well, it won't kill me to stay so active lol. But, remember I told you guys that I was applying for a writing job with RPG gamer well I got rejected, but it is oh ok. They said their reasoning was my writing skills, but if you see some of the writing that is done on that site, you would question some of the people of the staff. It sucks! I will move on, my next job is get some photography to work on my skills even more. Tint magazine, an open fourm deciated to people of color is looking for artists and graphic designers. I figure to give it shot, and maybe it might help boost up my carrer. Robert called me, and he was really deep with me and i don't know why. He told me that he hated his mother, and she doesn't tell him where she is going most of the time. I was like that is crazy, and he also told me that his family is getting smaller and smaller. Now, I am so mixed up its like the past is leaching on me like a dog to its chewtoy.

 

I called Andrew, an old friend of mine and he also never calls me back in the first place! So, why the heck do I bother! I hope that you all have a great start to your week!

 

Lursa out.

 

Currently Reading: Wake up, I'm Fat! by Camryn Manheim/ To the Stars: The autobiograhy of George Takei/ Pandora by Anne Rice

 

Currently Watching: Everybody loves Raymond: Season 2/ Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (extrended cut)/ Tenchi Muyo: GXP!

 

Reading Manga: Wild 7 Volume 1

 

Video Game i'm playing: Final Fantasy X/ Samurai Legend Musahi

 

 

 

Update:

 

I also would love to thank all the people who played in last week's trivia I am offically a commander Now! Sweet. I will do my best to play as much as i can!

[Lursa 0]

Stardate:0602.17

 

School is really taking it's toll on me. Now only have I gone through hell week, once again. I am dealing with the demons within me. I had just resently found out that I became a senator for my Student Government in my college. But things were not how they seemed to be first. First off, they wanted for me to drop my class, which I have on Thursday in order to go to a meeting. You would think that they would around the students and set the meetings according to when we are open in our schedule. They said that it was manatory and that yo had to go to every meeting.

 

I told them striaghtforward. First, I did not know that I had won until the last minute, then right then and there they told me that i had to go on a trip which was on the same day, I had set a apointment to go to a college that I wanted to transfer to and then they should have done those things in advance. Even the President herself made me feel betrayed. They acted like they were my friends, but when I needed them to understand how important my class was, they would not even understand where i came from.

 

It is sad that i felt this way about them, because I really want to be there. Now don't me wrong, I understand that rules are rules, but when you don't know what the heck is going on, and no one tells you what is going on, then what is the point of staying there. I don't see Nick as much anymore, which is good thing but sometimes bad lol. I bumped into him, and I talked to him about hanging out with my friends and try to get him away from all the drinking that he does. He will have a MAJOR drinking problem if he contidues to drink like that!

 

So, he told that he had just turned 21, and spent over 100 dollars on many drinking bars alone! Just as what I was going to tell him, he told me that he was also glad that for Valentine's day he was not going to have to do anything or buy girls "stuff." Why do I always seems to bring wrong kind of guys around me I will never know? As being reborn I decided to do something kind. Since Robert treated me like crap, I decided to be nice to him anyway, this always goes to everyone else. Now don't get me wrong, I will not take crap from anyone, but it is good to be nice is life, because you never know where it might take you.

 

I sent him a e-card about friendship and love and wished him a great Valentine's Day! He was so shocked that I did that lol! When it comes to me you must expect the unexpected lol. He told me that he might have gotten that scholarship and that he will be going to Gettyburg. As for me, I will be staying here in Wisconsin. He has taken this music carrer very seriously. As for me, I still love music, but I know that it is not the only thing to focus on. It is very hard these days to make a good carrer out of music. You must also have something else under your belt as well. Photograhy is that notion for me as well.

 

All these years, I thought I was not good at anything. My life has changed, my values have changed, and yet I still feel like the same little girl way back in middle school. Life does bring big chances. However, I have become for metapshyical in the last couple of weeks as I am still going to this healing process this closure that I need to set in my mind. The one guy that I thought I loved is not the one. Do you know how messed up that is? I have devoted myself into denial, into believing that Robert was a sign from God? That this whole time that I was wrong, but at least I know where my future lies.

 

From this forward, I devote my life into the unknown.....

 

Lursa out.

 

Currently Reading: Vittorio The Vampire By Anne Rince

 

Currently Watching: Tenchi Muyo: GXP!

 

Reading Manga: Wild 7 Volume 1

 

Video Game i'm playing: Samurai Legend Musahi

[Lursa 0]

Stardate: 0602.20

 

This is the first time in life that nothing werid had happened to me today. I am almost done reading Vittiro the Vampire and then I will have one more book to read in the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice. After I am done, I will take a break From my Anne Rice booklist, and I am working on my Trek book list I like to keep track of what I am reading so I know not to read the same book twice,unless I am doing a paper on it lol. Next, it was funny that I was stupid to think that Robert had changed his ways. He didn't he told me that he was going to call me this weekend, that we had things to talk about, and once again he stood me up. Why the heck do I even bother to have a kind heart. My friend made a funny joke, that he might be on a spell or something like that.

 

I do have a small belief in the supernatural, that there events which occur in our lifetime, to which we can not explain. Robert's behaivor is one of them. All these years, has come to end. Endings are always the hardest to deal with. Just when you think it may go one forever, it ends up swelling. I just got the first season of TOS from my library as well as the John-Luc collection. I will be watching the rest of Tenchi GXP and move on to finally watching Return of the King, once I get through the speical features, which I know will take me forever to do. I check out so much crap from the library, that it is not even funny. I even go Miami Vice season 1 as well. I will get about 100 DVD R's so that I can copy many movies to watch at home.

 

I think that copying is oh ok, as long as you are not selling them. It helps to promote and make the movie companies even more money than they need in the first place. I copy dvd for my own personal pleasure, and it is illegal to give copies to your friends. I think that this crazy, because as long as you are not selling in it the black market it is fine. But then again, if I can't burn a dvd, then we should not be able to dowload either. The government is doing their best to make sure that they control every part of our lives, whether we like it or not.

 

Lursa out.

 

Currently Reading: Vittorio The Vampire By Anne Rince

 

Currently Watching: Tenchi Muyo: GXP!

 

Reading Manga: Wild 7 Volume 1

 

Video Game i'm playing: Samurai Legend Musahi

[Lursa 0]

Stardate: 0603.10

 

If I knew only to begin with my update, than it would indeed be a puzzle in the first place. Rob has once again try to come in and talk to me as if I were his simple pet! He always is asking questions about what school I go to or what profession I am doing. I don't have a problem with but it asked all the time. He makes fun of my job, and now I have enough! I am going to cust him up the next time he calls!

 

But, moving on to better things, I finally got myself a 80GB hard drive! Now, I can watch all the movies that using bit torrent. There is good torrent site called www.torrentreactor.com They have lots of Star Trek shows and seasons to watch! It is very cool indeed. I am shocked that Bit torrent has not gotten in trobule yet, but we will have to wait and see. I just finished reading Vittorio The Vampire and it such a good book!

 

Just from reading it, It make me want to be vampire! I think that it would be so cool to live forever! But sadly, Blood Canticle is the last book, and I am looking forward to finishing The Vampire Chroncles it is good read indeed. I hope that all is well with you all, it due to college that I havent been able to post like I used to.

 

 

Lursa out.

 

Currently Reading: Blood Canticle By Anne Rince

 

Currently Watching: El Harazard: The Wanders (TV)

 

Reading Manga: Wild 7 Volume 1

 

Video Game i'm playing: Samurai Legend Musahi

[Lursa 0]

Stardate: 0603.28

 

It has been some time my dear friends. School will be over in May and I will begin with the good news of course! I just found out yesterday that I got accepted to Cardinal Stritch University. I am so glad to be getting out of the University of Wisconsin system. It really sucked for me, and I dont intend to recommend it to anyone. I have really been getting into my Star Trek season 1 dvd's and I am almost done watching them.

 

And of course Robert is trying his best to try and come back into my life. He called me, for one and one reason only to see if I could come to his piano concert. I am working on having my own show on Japanese fashion and culture and that he would not even go to himself. He doesnt even know what college I go to. What a jerk! I will do my best to get him off of my mind and move on to better things. Moving will also give me a better chance to have freedom to do things as well.

 

It can be hard sometimes to do things when your family is behind you etc. I love my family, but I need to grow up and get away from home. To make a name for myself, and i hope to finish an album as well expand my photography carrer inside and outside of school. I am sorry about being lazy with trivia I hope to get some done tomorrow....

 

Lursa out.

 

Currently Reading: Blood Canticle By Anne Rince

 

Currently Watching: Crying Freeman Volume 2

 

Reading Manga: Wild 7 Volume 2

 

Video Game i'm playing: Suikoden I

[Lursa 0]

Stardate: 0605.13

 

 

Well,

 

Hello once again! Wow this semester went by for fast! But I am glad! Onegai the show went really well! But, there were a lot of people that I depended on to come and see and they never did! But that is oh ok, they didnt even tell me why and that hurt me so much. When I first starting doing the show I was doing for my anime club. But then I realized that they really didn't care in the first place. It hurted me a lot as this week of reflection has become more painful than it needs to be. I lost my friend, now he figures the only time he needs to be around me is when he wants to show off his skills. I always have to call him and he never calls me back.Maybe this is a sign from above that we are not meant to be friends. It would do more harm than good.

 

Onegai on Japanese fashion and Culture really made me happy inside and I hope to release an album on the songs in the near future. But, for the first time in my life I am leaving my family this will be a different experience for me. But it is the time, to grow and learn my true potential as a human being. It is good to back!

 

 

 

With something to think about,

 

Quita

[Kor37 9]

Welcome Back Lursa! I had wondered what had become of you.

[Lursa 0]

Computer enter log.....

 

Stardate 0607.11

 

Well once again, I have been faced with a reflection period. While I was on Vacation one of my aunt's was getting married it was very nice wedding. I stood in the wedding and did feel very left out. But, I was thankful to be in it. I have decided to stay on as a member of startrekfans.net. There was a lot of things running through my head as of late. I was in the hospital and I almost suffered a Stroke and I could have died. It is true what they say about how life can flash right before your eyes.

 

Ever since that very moment, I have been taking life a lot more seriously. I am more aware about what I say and what I do. I could have died and I would have lost all of my hopes and dreams. But now, I am more focused and changing into devloping my goals. I really want to be a singer as well and do graphic design and photography. I love life now more than ever. I am reborned christian, vegetarian and I live my life to the fullest. Never since that very day have I taken my life to be very simple and honest. I forgive my past, it has made me who I am today.

 

I can learn my past, all those battles that i have in my life has given me an inner strength. No matter what religon you are or what kind of family you come from your life is determined by making the right choices. Now, looking at my life flash me by made me think about the ways that I have done things. I forgive those that have hurt me and I will love them with all my heart. I will treat everyone fairly and be more careful about the choices that I have made in my life. I will teach others as well as learn from them. Time is so short....

 

 

With something to think about,

 

Lursa

[KIMIMELA 1]

Good luck in live, Lursa. Life is one big rollercoaster and there will be ups and downs but it will be worth it. I was bullied all through high school. It has actually made me stronger, though, in a way, because I have my friends and my boyfriend and my family behind me. College has allowed me to become who I've wanted to be all along and my lecturers respect that.

 

There will be days where you don't want to even see daylight, other days you will feel like you're floating on clouds. Life is too short to hate.