Jeanway 0 Posted April 6, 2004 I wanted a place to talk about this phenomenon. Are they real relationships? I know the feelings are real. How do we keep this in the right perspective and not let it take over our live? How do you end one? Things like that. This is not a thread for s*x talk, Please. It's about feelings Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fenriz275 0 Posted April 6, 2004 I think the feelings are very real. Being online provides a security zone, you feel safer to express your feelings because at any time you can just log off. But it also means that you fall for someone a lot faster than you normally would. I guess the answer would be to be cautious and see if the feelings last. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tina 0 Posted April 6, 2004 I think cyber love has its ups and downs on onehand pedophiles could hook up with unsuspscting pre-teens and where people say they are one ting and mean another. But on the other hand there are those rare cases of people falling in love over the internet.Or the Long distance relationship that communicates on a board I think that people should be aware of the internet.Maybe get out and meet REAL people instead... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ensign_ro 0 Posted April 6, 2004 i think the feelings ppl can have with nother over the internet can be very real. you just have to be careful of what you do. it can be difficult to hold a relationship through a bunch of cables but some times the result can be worth the effort. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angela 1 Posted April 6, 2004 I believe that here are many pitfalls to the internet. talking to the person over an IM can help, you can tell in voice whether a person is honesty sincere the are audio cues. I think that if all the right ingrediants and the people have plenty in common then it is possible. but talking and spending time helps a lot. But starting as friends always helps. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SolarWind 0 Posted April 6, 2004 I think feelings are the most important thing in life. Our nervous system is there for a reason. To tell us when something is wrong or right, feels good, feels bad. It's connected to all our bodily systems and to our emotions. If we eat something that's bad, it could be poison to us, our tongue tells us that. If we eat something delicious, we feel good. It's pleasurable, we want to do more of it. Just like these things other people can be good or bad for us. If someone hurts you, you feel bad, and you don't let them do it again, you stay away next time. If someone does something for you that makes you feels good, you continue to deal with that person. That person is usually your friend or lover in time. The same things that happen in real life can happen on-line except, what your dealing with are words and emotions invoked by them. In person your usually dealing with another warm body. On-line all you have are thoughts, memories, words, emotions, and feelings, without the other warm body. Your own ideas and memories get intertwined with someone elses. It can be compelling and powerful. I have never known anyone in real life as deeply, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually or humorously as I have on -line. The only thing missing is the warm body. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted April 7, 2004 i dont know. i do know that such as in my case you are much more open. with the security of not "knowing" anybody that your gonna run into anyway. but in a way suppose you would get to know the real somebody in such a case. i do know that i would never let as much out, in the real world, that i do here. i know that someone has piqued my curiosity. and i have found online friends here. seeing this is the really the only place i go online. so i guess its possible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Jean-Luc Picard 1 Posted April 7, 2004 I wanted a place to talk about this phenomenon. Are they real relationships? I know the feelings are real. How do we keep this in the right perspective and not let it take over our live? How do you end one? Things like that. This is not a thread for s*x talk, Please. It's about feelings I do not believe a cyberlove relationship is real nor could work. I believe two people can meet on the internet, become friends, meet in real life, and then fall in love. However, I do not believe they can fall in love based on words on a computer screen, they are fare more factors involved then words. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VaBeachGuy 12 Posted April 7, 2004 I wanted a place to talk about this phenomenon. Are they real relationships? I know the feelings are real. How do we keep this in the right perspective and not let it take over our live? How do you end one? Things like that. This is not a thread for s*x talk, Please. It's about feelings I do not believe a cyberlove relationship is real nor could work. I believe two people can meet on the internet, become friends, meet in real life, and then fall in love. However, I do not believe they can fall in love based on words on a computer screen, they are fare more factors involved then words. I don't disagree with you but I also don't agree. Every person is different, every situation is different. While it may not be a possibility for you and it may not be possible for 99% of the entire human population of the Earth there's always someone out there that it could be possible for. I would never presume to tell someone that their relationship or their feelings for someone aren't real just because of where they met and communicate though. That's a question (is it real or not?) that each individual has to answer for him or herself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
headborg 1 Posted April 7, 2004 well, i told myself not to reply to this...but here I am....I would hate to think that we only repersent 1% of the human population..but my feelings are real...and (not naming names ) she believes her feelings are real....the problem is this enviroment isn't real...so how do we convince the other that the feelings we have for each other are real....time is the only answer I can come up with...as for the internet making it easier/quicker that's completely wrong...it's very hard to get to know someone just with writing, many times we have had to stop and say "you know I'm joking..right" there's no way to hear tone of voice, or expression..and we have both had problems with others getting the wrong "first impression" anyway this is the 21st century...and I've heard lots of stories of people meeting the "right" one on the internet. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Theunicornhunter 2 Posted April 7, 2004 If you're experiencing a feeling - it is real. Whether the relationship you develop online will endure real life is a separate issue. I think a board like this lets you get to know a person better than a dating board because we have a tendency to let our true selves come out in the opinions we express. I think over a period of time we get to know the various personalities on this board and it is possible to feel a greater attraction - friendship or otherwise for certain people. I know there are people here that have developed strong friendships and others that have developed something more. I also think it is important to note that real life "love" isn't always based on a whole lot of experience or knowledge of another person either. I guess I'm thinking of high school and crushes - you're often attracted to someone and may feel strongly and if you got to know each other better you wouldn't like each other. But if you remember high school - it still hurt. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mj 7 Posted April 7, 2004 (edited) I think there are many ways to meet people. For instance, many people go to bars to meet other people, or to church, or other settings. In those settings physical attraction would be part of the mix. The internet is a setting where people meet each other. But the physical aspect is postponed....you don't even know if posted pictures are honest. Getting to know one another is then the next challenge, in any setting. But on an internet site like this one, where there are lots of posts, lots of conversation, it is possible to at least get to know the personalities of others. I agree with TUH on that. I think it is possible to feel camaraderie and friendship on one level, but it is less clear to me that this is transferable to the real world. For instance, with either friendship or a love interest, how do you spend your time? How would you connect in the real world? What if it turns out that one of you is really busy (and use the internet to unwind) and the other has a lot of time on their hands (which is why they are on the internet so much) ? What if the physical attraction is not there? I think internet relationships are another type of human interaction which has its own special set of problems. I would recommend that one walk circumspectly. Edited April 7, 2004 by mjham Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angela 1 Posted April 8, 2004 Okay considering I am in a cyber relationship this is what I am going to say. Many relationships fall to pieces in the real world that started in the real world. The main reason for it going wrong? Lack of communication and understanding. The thing people meeting online do most is? Communicate. we share ideas and ideals. people fall in love faster why? because we spend more time talking than doing something. But I understand CJLP's ideas on it just being words on a screen and meeting does play a part. BUT if meeting one another is difficult because of money, talking in real time helps in a huge way. For those of us with MSN, we save huge international call cost by using the audio and I am certain that you connect even more. I think that there are other things other than simply words on a screen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stardreamer 1 Posted April 8, 2004 You spoke about why people fall in love on the internet faster than in real life. My guess is that it can easily happen that one interprets messages with her/his own emotions. So if you like someone you may assess a message more positive than it is because you want it so. This may happen subconscious. On both sides. But falling in love in real life is different. Let me tell you my story as an example. I met my husband in a bowling club. Someone I know told a friend to invite me for this. He phoned me and we had several pleasant conversations. Finally I agreed meeting him at this bowling site. The moment I saw him it was over for me. But on this evening I met my hubby who also was in this bowling team for the very first time. What I want to say is I believe that people are more physically determined than we mentally believe. How someone looks (and I do not speak of good-looking), moves, behaves, interacts with others and even smells affects us. If we realize this or not. That's why I believe in internet friendships but not in romance. I do wish in your relationship, Unadopted Angelic things will be different. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SolarWind 0 Posted April 8, 2004 Anyone ever hear of Savinien Cyrano de Bergerac? And the epistolary relationship between he and Roxanne? A relationship based on letter-writing. Words. See anything here that seems vaguley familiar? Words are very powerful. :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Angela 1 Posted April 8, 2004 At the end of the day, it doesn';t matter how much you cnnect and communicate, if the other persons life is too demanding for them, even the strongest RL relationship crumbles. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SolarWind 0 Posted April 8, 2004 At the end of the day, it doesn';t matter how much you cnnect and communicate, if the other persons life is too demanding for them, even the strongest RL relationship crumbles. Aww, honey, do you need to talk? Seriously, PM me. You sound so sad :P B) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ARMS 0 Posted April 9, 2004 (edited) I used to actively make relationships with people on the net. e.g Bevfank, TNGTrekker220, CJLP, Abakai, Bysty, Trekzone, Batok, NCC-12345 & many more, but now i don't really have time for everyone :P Edited April 9, 2004 by ARMS Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
