Using One's Looks

[Gotabite 0]

I would like to ask a question here that is very important to me. I am not a very conservative thinker in my views about life, people and situations. So very often statements that I make, when I mean no harm or disrespect, have gotten me in a lot of trouble..............such is the case at this moment......So I want your honest opinion........If you make the statement that someone knows how to use their looks to get what they want.....does that always have to mean something negative or disrespectful?.........Thanks :huh:

[Tina 0]

Hey Gorabite

 

Well i have gotten yelled at for worse.Don't take them too seriouslly.Just stick to what you belive in "To thy own self be true"

 

(BTW Its true about people using looks to get what they want)

[Indy 8]

I think the only people it would insult are those that are using only looks to get what they want. For those people who use their looks along with their intelligence, respect for other people and genuine interest in what they're trying to accomplish, I don't think they would have a problem with it. They are a package deal wisely using all tools at their disposal to succeed.

[Jeanway 0]

I would like  to ask a question here that is very important to me.  I am not a very conservative thinker in my views about life, people and situations.  So very often statements that I make, when I mean no harm or disrespect, have gotten me in a lot of trouble..............such is the case at this moment......So I want your honest opinion........If you make the statement that someone knows how to use their looks to get what they want.....does that always have to mean something negative or disrespectful?.........Thanks :huh:

unfortunately, yes. That's called manipulation. When you use another's emotions to get what you want. :huh: "It's a sad, sad situation and it's getting more and more obsurd".

Who sang that? :huh:

[v_seven 0]

I think in today's world...use have to use the resources that you have...

no one's going to help you, help yourself.......what ever it takes, but only

if you can still look in the mirror and still respect yourself :huh:

[Captain Bolivar 0]

I'd say it was a negative thing to say about a person because I don't using looks to get yourself something in honorable or moral. I have noticed that many women tend to do that... (not tying to be sexist, but I think there is some truth to that)

[Jeanway 0]

Sadly, yes :huh: , it's true. Some women do that. Some women don't. Just be aware that this can and does happen. But I think we are all programed that way. It's about propagation of the species. Kind of a little trick to make sure the species doesn't die out. Seems like everybody is just running around looking to make sure the species doesn't die out. :huh: If you catch my meaning. Just being clinical here, nothing bad. :huh:, that's why our eyes are so close to our brains. so nothing gets past us, a kind of missed opportunity kind of thing.

[hangon 3]

Some ppl use there looks to get what they want,i myself would never

do such a thing i think its wrong,but ppl who do that are uselly very shallow

ppl and not worth the time of day.

But i will admit i do use my charm to get what i want but i never use ppl

for my own goals.

[Theunicornhunter 2]

Are you asking if a person made that observation of another - would that observation necessarily be negative?

 

I think that would depend on how the person making the observation felt about it. Some people would speak the words with awe and others with cynicism.

 

On the topic of using your looks, I have made the observation that "looks" does include personality to some extent. Maybe being beautiful gives you the confidence you need but looks don't do you any good if you don't "use" them.

[Nemesis 0]

Well charism sells a product, and good looks help.

[Jeanway 0]

^

^

^

 

AHEM! ::clears throat:: Are you referring to that monkey holding a gun? ::eyeballs monkey::? What's he selling? Guns? :huh: :huh:

Edited March 17, 2004 by Jeanway

[Nemesis 0]

AHEM! ::clears throat::  Are you referring to that monkey holding a gun? ::eyeballs monkey::?

Well would you by food from someone who was fat, or someone who was thin with a nice bust?

[mj 7]

I would like  to ask a question here that is very important to me.  I am not a very conservative thinker in my views about life, people and situations.  So very often statements that I make, when I mean no harm or disrespect, have gotten me in a lot of trouble..............such is the case at this moment......So I want your honest opinion........If you make the statement that someone knows how to use their looks to get what they want.....does that always have to mean something negative or disrespectful?.........Thanks :)

It may just be a true statement. There may be no intent of negativity on the part of the speaker.

And do not most people try to look their best in situations such as interviews, competitions,and so forth? That is at least taking into account your appearance. Some people may be better at maximizing the use of their appearance than others, hence know how to use their looks. Statement of fact.

[Red Shirt Volunteer 0]

I would like  to ask a question here that is very important to me.  I am not a very conservative thinker in my views about life, people and situations.  So very often statements that I make, when I mean no harm or disrespect, have gotten me in a lot of trouble..............such is the case at this moment......So I want your honest opinion........If you make the statement that someone knows how to use their looks to get what they want.....does that always have to mean something negative or disrespectful?.........Thanks :)

It may just be a true statement. There may be no intent of negativity on the part of the speaker.

And do not most people try to look their best in situations such as interviews, competitions,and so forth? That is at least taking into account your appearance. Some people may be better at maximizing the use of their appearance than others, hence know how to use their looks. Statement of fact.

I agree. Everybody has to make use of their "looks," whatever looks they may have, in situations like interviews and business meetings. Not making an effort on appearance is the first thing that people notice about you and can lead to a downward spiral when people lack the knowledge/personality to carry themselves. Looking professional (or whatever look is required depending on the situation) is the first and best way to make a successful start to relationship whether it be work or private.

 

It seems I often meet people who like moaning about the fact that people they meet are superficial and judge primarily based on appearances instead of really "getting to know someone." I find this philosophy somewhat laughable as it takes months to truly know people and see how they behave/react to a variety of situations. It's a bit wishy-washy to me to make such statements and suggests not that the person with good looks is superficial, but that the person saying so lacks confidence in their own appearance. So even though there may be no negative intent on the part of the speaker, I feel that it's a reflection of how they perceive themselves, not others.

 

I recently finished conducting interviews with candidates for a job and one basically blew himself out of the water by making too many comments about appearance. He was very self-conscious about his own appearance, felt uncomfortable trying to look good/confident in the interview and made a pointless reference to my co-interviewer's appearance. All of our questions were focussed on the job and if he had been more comfortable with himself, he probably would've picked up on the fact that we really weren't worried about appearance at all as long as the person came across as competent and professional.

[LadyNarana 0]

Well would you by food from someone who was fat, or someone who was thin with a nice bust?

A. Careful, Nemesis - you've got two different stereotypes in there.

B. I would buy from a bigger person - at least they'd know what they were talking about. There's an old saying about never trusting a thin cook.

C. I know many people who are very attractive and they're bigger. And I know the exact opposite, too.

D. Attractiveness has way more to do, to me, with a person's conduct and attitude than just straight looks. Don't get me wrong - first appearances are valid, but they're not everything.

 

I'm off the subject. Do people use their looks to get what they want? Yes. Should they? Depending. Using the tools at your disposal is a valid point. Someone talked about using ONLY looks - that's sad when it's the only arrow you've got. Would saying something like that be insulting? I would think it would be to someone who's only got the one arrow OR to someone who doesn't feel that they own that particular arrow and feels badly or jealous about it. Beyond that, some people are very sensitive about non-PC comments like that. Be careful...

[Gotabite 0]

Are you asking if a person made that observation of another - would that observation necessarily be negative?

 

I think that would depend on how the person making the observation felt about it.  Some people would speak the words with awe and others with cynicism.

 

On the topic of using your looks, I have made the observation that "looks" does include personality to some extent.  Maybe being beautiful gives you the confidence you need but looks don't do you any good if you don't "use" them.

What I am asking here is if you make the statement about someone that they know how to use their looks to get what they want, does that have to mean that you are saying something negative about them? Can it not also mean that they are also using their looks as one of their assets? Can it not also mean that they know their looks are a powerful feature that can make others take notice, get them in the door so to speak, and then see the other qualities and features they have going for themselves. Once I have a few more comments. I will say why I am asking this question. Thanks........

Edited March 18, 2004 by Gotabite

[Admiral Kirk 1]

I'd say it was a negative thing to say about a person because I don't using looks to get yourself something in honorable or moral.  I have noticed that many women tend to do that... (not tying to be sexist, but I think there is some truth to that)

I agree. I dont think it always has to have a negative meaning. I suppose it has to do with how this person uses her looks or in what exact manner.

Edited March 18, 2004 by Admiral Kirk

[Jeanway 0]

I think this discussion has opened up some other issues. Personality and character being two. I noticed that even some people on this site put forth an appealing personality. Are they using that too? When you start in depth dialogue with people their true nature does show itself in time. Just like when you meet someone new, the way you perceived them in the beginning may be totally different six months later. i'm guilty of prejudging people by their appearance.(Or perhaps a better way to say that is I form an opinion about them.) Not their physical attributes but more along the lines of grooming, cleanliness, habits, mannerisms, speech, and things like that. People can't help the way they look. Even attractive people have self doubts. And may perceive the attention as a negative thing.

[fenriz275 0]

All I know is the last time I tried to weasel my way out of a ticket I wa asked to get out of the car.

[stoned_vulcan 0]

It is usually meant in a negative manor since like look at it this way, someone isnt going to use their looks to solve problems in isreal...

[Jeanway 0]

All I know is the last time I tried to weasel my way out of a ticket I wa asked to get out of the car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tiz, I just cried alot and he let me go. :wub:

[DixonHill1989 0]

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

[Gotabite 0]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  B) Tiz, I just cried alot and he let me go. B)    :wub:

And was that using your looks?

[Jeanway 0]

Probably I didn't do it intentionally)

[edmcgon 0]

I would like  to ask a question here that is very important to me.  I am not a very conservative thinker in my views about life, people and situations.  So very often statements that I make, when I mean no harm or disrespect, have gotten me in a lot of trouble..............such is the case at this moment......So I want your honest opinion........If you make the statement that someone knows how to use their looks to get what they want.....does that always have to mean something negative or disrespectful?.........Thanks

That phrase is generally used in a negative manner, although I suppose in a specific context it could be positive. It would have to be a "third person" context.

 

The curse of beauty is that anything you accomplish with skill will be attributed to your looks by those who hate you. Of course, I would not know anything about this. :wub:

 

Seriously, Gotabite, please tell me you did NOT tell somebody that they knew how to use their looks to get what they want, did you?

[Gotabite 0]

 

Seriously, Gotabite, please tell me you did NOT tell somebody that they knew how to use their looks to get what they want, did you?  :blink:

No....not exactly......But I will share something after a few more comments that has really caused some serious changes in my life. I will write it up in my personal log. So if you are interested, check that forum

Edited March 19, 2004 by Gotabite

[hangon 3]

I noticed that a girl at my work uses her looks to get what she wants

it was very funny watching all the guys bend over backwards to help

her,but she knows what shes doing shes not dumb but that stuff dont

work on me...lol