The Founders
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Posts posted by cptwright

  1. heres a few my friend just sent me,


    :God must love stupid people; He made so many.


    :Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere




    If life gives you a bowl of lemons, make lemonade, the trick is to find some one with vodka and make life a party....:-D


    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up, and worn out... loudly screaming --"WOW ! What an awesome Ride! :-D


    Friends will go out with ya for a night on the town, close friends will bail ya of jail the next morning...true friends will be in the next cell from you, saying " DAMN THAT WAS FREAKIN AWSOME!! "

  2. oh i know theres worse things to hear, but i guess itts a lot of things. im not so worried about it, just wish that women knew what they wanted, and stuck to it. my ex used to call me the perfect husband, (i know i wasnt perfect) but alas look what happened to us. so i guess i just hate hearing something nice about me, with a but at the end wether said or implied by actions. ya know what i mean. i know who i am in that aspect, and i would rather be able to look in the mirror and not hate what i see, and be able to sleep with mysefl at night, oh yeah i do a lot of that. lol. i know someday someone good will come along and appreciate what i have to offer, till then sometimes its just frustrating more than anything. not to mention this is a great place to vent the frustration, and, or to hear feedback on what your thinking. its a lot easier talking about things here than with someone you know face to face. ya know what else sucks, ill give you an example my buddy talks to me about his female adventures, and asks me my advice, and i give him pretty damn good advice, and it seems to always work out for him, but ill be dipped if i can do it for myself. :P better at telling than doin i guess. lol

  3. Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll just follow me, our next patient is the classic example of a man who has snapped. :P


    no the complaint is not them liking me, the complaint is they always seem to disapear after i hear that crap. and no i havent snapped yet, but i think im getting there. :P

  4. i have a question for you people out there, especially the women.WHAT THE F@#$ IS "TOO NICE"? when i was back in NY a couple of weeks ago, i saw a couple of friends, they were my ex's friends, thus women, they asked me how things were down here in VA then asked how was the woman situation, i replied NOT. their answer to that was YOUR TOO NICE. what is that? how can i be too nice? thats about the dumbest thing ive ever heard. BUT, I DO MEAN BUT, apparently there might be something to that, since ive left my wife, ive met a few women, i have heard numerous times from them, now im quoting here, i by no means think im wonderful, anyway, your soo nice, your sweet, your the only one i have met in a very long time that makes me think there are still nice guys out there, most recently what are your faults, do you have any? the last one was a constant reply when i answered some questions she asked me, apparently she liked the answers, now all of them for one reason or another, ARE NOT WITH ME, the last one the most recent one, the last two weeks we talked for hours on the phone every night, the one night we went out we had a great time, she said when we went out that she could only be out for an hour or so, that turned into five after we started talking and having a good ttime. now i havent heard from her since tuesday, the last conversation we had was great, we talked till after 3 in the morning, i was thinking she would be pretty cool to hang out with and see what happens, so anyway i callled her three times yesterday never heard back, havent called her today, i just dont know that i should try calling agian. so should i try calling her tonight, or not, anyone. women drive me nuts. i have no clue. SO CAN ANYONE ANSWER THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION WHAT IS TOO NICE?

  5. well yesterday at work a unusual thing happened, they had me, the NEWBIE cook, and from the responses i heard apparently it was a hit. made taco salad for lunch, then marinated chicken, twice baked potatoes, corn, and biscuits for dinner. now i know i can cook, but my menu is rather limited, any recipes from anyone? simple, and inexpensive. our lunch and dinner costs are four bucks a person per meal. so when i cooked yesterday i went eleven dollars over, which comes out of my pocket. but it was neat, i started doing the dishes after we were done eating dinner and the lt saw that i was doint it, and got right up and took over, "when you cook, you dont clean" it was cool, but i felt really awkward watching the lt clean and not me. but i do love my house, firehouse that is. so any recipes would be cool.

  6. now ive done things like this before, but this one hit right on on all three questions. its amazing. take it for what it is and check it out.



    Click For Spoiler




    Take your time with this test and you will be amazed. I did this last year when this came around and a spiritual wish I made did happen - in fact all year long.( I don't know who wrote this note.)



    The Dalai Lama suggests you read it to see if it works for you. Very Interesting.



    Just 4 questions and the answers will surprise you.




    Be honest and do not cheat by looking up the answers. The mind is like a parachute, it works best when! it is opened. This is fun to do, but you have to follow the instructions very closely. Do not cheat.





















    A warning! Answer the questions a! s you go along. There are only 4 questions and if you see them all before finishing, you will not have honest results.






    Go down slowly, and complete each exercise as you scroll down.


    Don't look ahead. Get pencil and paper to write your answers as you go along.


    You will need it at the end. This is an honest questionnaire which will tell you a lot about your true self. Give an answer for each item. The first thing that comes to mind is usually your best answer. Remember -

    no one sees this but you.






    (1) Put the following 5 animals in the order of your preference:



    Cow, Tiger, Sheep, Horse, Pig
































    (2) Write one word that describes each one of the following: Dog, Cat, Rat, Coffee, Sea.




























    (3) Think of someone, who also knows you and is important to you, which you can relate them to the following colors. Do not repeat your answer twice. Name just one person for each color:


    Yellow, Orange, Red, White, Green.


































    (4) Finally, write down your favorite number, and your favorite day of the week.


    FINISHED? Please be sure that your answers are what you REALLY WANT.















    Look at the interpretations below: But first before continuing,


    REPEAT! your wish.























    (1) This will define your priorities in your life.








    Cow Signifies CAREER




    Tiger Signifies PRIDE





    Sheep Signifies LOVE





    Horse Signifies FAMILY





    Pig Signifies MONEY














    (2) Your description of dog implies your own personality.










    Your description of cat implies the personality of your partner.









    Your description of rat implies the personality of your enemies.







    Your description of coffee is how you interpret sex.






    Your description of the sea implies your own life.





















    (3) Y! ellow: Someone you will never forget



    Orange: So! meone you consider your true friend





    Red: Someone that you really love






    White: Your twin soul





    Green: Someone that you will remember for the rest of your life

























    4) You have to send this message to as many persons as your favorite number and your wish will come true on the day that you recorded.




    This is what the Dalai Lama has said about the Millennium - just take a few seconds to look it up, read it and think.



    Do not put away this message, the mantra will come out from your hands in the next 96 hours. You will have a very pleasant surprise.



    This is true, even if you are not superstitious.







    0-4 persons: Your life will improve slightly


    5-9 persons: Your! life will improve to your liking


    9-14 persons: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next three weeks




    15 or more persons: Your life will improve drastically and all that you wish will come true



    Smile and the world smiles with you.

  7. :)  My mom had told me that one a long while ago it was in an email she got, but since I had not seen it in a long while thanks for posting it. Thanks for the laugh, it is most needed right now! :)


    well im glad it gave you a laugh when you needed it. i hope all is well with you. have a good one.

  8. this has got some good humor too, remind me not to get on her bad side. :P



    This was just way too funny not to pass on----




    > Hell hath no fury, like a woman scorned.....




    > "The Curtain Rods"


    > She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and



    > On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.


    > On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful

    dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,


    feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of



    > When she had finished, she went into each and every room and

    deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the

    hollow of the curtain rods.


    > She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.


    > When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for

    the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried

    everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were

    checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air

    fresheners were hung everywhere.


    > Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which

    they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to

    replace the expensive wool carpeting.


    > Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...Repairmen

    refused to work in the house...The maid quit...Finally, they could not

    take the stench any longer and decided to move.


    > A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they

    could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and

    eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

    Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to

    purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things

    were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened

    politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be

    willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the

    house back...


    > Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on

    price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But


    if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within


    hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.


    > A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they

    watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...


    > ...including the curtain rods.

  9. i thought it was humerous whatcha think.




    Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's

    Christmas party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks

    didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got


    from the party.


    As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

    Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees

    is a

    couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,

    next to

    them, a single red rose!


    Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and

    pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect

    order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the

    aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him

    in the

    bathroom mirror.


    Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in


    with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!:

    "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go get groceries to


    you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian


    He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,

    steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at

    the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"


    "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You

    fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the

    hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."


    Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect

    order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table

    waiting for me?"


    His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and

    when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone,

    lady, I'm married!"


    Broken Coffee Table $39.99

    Hot Breakfast $4.20

    Two Aspirins .38

    Saying the right thing, at the right time . . .Priceless!!!