Einstein Of The Week!

[Kor37 9]

Talk About Things Going Really Wrong...

AP

Posted: 2008-01-15 17:39:02

KOKOMO, Ind. (AP) - Police say a man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a convenience store. A clerk told police a man carrying a semiautomatic handgun entered the Village Pantry Tuesday morning demanding cash and a pack of cigarettes.

 

The clerk put the cash in a bag and as she turned to get the cigarettes, she heard the gun discharge.

 

Police say surveillance video shows the man shooting himself as he placed the gun in the waistband of his pants. The clerk wasn't injured.

 

A short time later, police found Derrick Kosch, 25, at a home with a gunshot wound to his right testicle and lower left leg. He was expected to have surgery at a hospital.

 

Police plan to charge him with armed robbery.

:)

[Theunicornhunter 2]

I guess his nickname in prison will be "uno"

[Bethlehem 7]

Good one TUH :)

[trekz 7]

I guess his nickname in prison will be "uno"

Pronounced by some of us as: "Ewwww! NOOOOOO! :) :) :)

[Kor37 9]

Police: Oregon robber gives teller his own ID

AP

Posted: 2008-01-18 14:22:03

GRESHAM, Ore. (AP) - They're not sure the robber actually intended to give the teller his name and address, but officers appreciate the gesture just the same.

 

Police said Friday they had a description and were able to quickly catch a suspect, who was on foot a block from a Bank of America office Thursday afternoon.

 

In any case, the police said, they would have known who to look for, and where.

 

Sgt. Claudio Grandjean said the demand for money came on a computer-generated note that included the man's full name and address, including apartment number and ZIP code.

 

"It was nice of him to do that," Grandjean said.

 

Jack Burch, 29, of Gresham was booked on a bank robbery charge.

 

:)

[Kor37 9]

Australians Jailed in Bungled Burglary

AP

Posted: 2008-01-22 01:09:42

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) - Two Australian robbers were sentenced Tuesday for their April Fools Day heist at the Cuckoo Restaurant, where they thought they were hauling away a big sack of cash that turned out to be bread rolls.

 

Benjamin Jorgensen, 38, and his accomplice Donna Hayes, 36, were sentenced in Victorian County Court after pleading guilty to robbing the restaurant in the southern Australian city of Melbourne on April 1 last year.

 

During the holdup, Jorgensen grabbed what he believed was a bag with the Cuckoo's cash earnings of about $26,000, but later found it was full of bread rolls, the court heard.

 

He also fired his gun accidentally in the caper, shooting Hayes in the buttocks.

 

Judge Roland Williams told the robbers they were a "pair of fools," before sentencing Hayes to eight years in prison and Jorgensen to seven.

 

Earlier this week, defense lawyer Greg Thomas said Jorgensen had been under the influence of drugs at the time, had made a full admission to police and was remorseful, News Ltd. newspapers reported.

 

[Kor37 9]

Unsuccessful Robber Shoots Self in Foot

by,AP

Posted: 2008-01-23 16:59:29

CHERRYVILLE, N.C. (AP) - Authorities said an unsuccessful robber shot himself in the foot ... by shooting himself in the foot. Police said Kelvin Ethelbert Roberts, 28, botched his plans to rob a Cherryville convenience store by accidentally shooting his right foot.

 

According to an arrest warrant, Roberts dropped a .45-caliber handgun in front of Gasland USA on Sunday. The gun hit the ground and went off, a bullet striking Roberts in the foot.

 

Roberts faces several charges that include attempted robbery with a dangerous weapon and possession of a weapon of mass destruction. Police said the handgun had been altered to fire .410 shotgun shells.

 

Authorities said Roberts was in illegal possession of the gun because of his felony cocaine possession conviction in 2002 in Chautauqua County, New York.

 

Cherryville is about 40 miles northwest of Charlotte.

 

[trekz 7]

"possession of a weapon of mass destruction. Police said the handgun had been altered to fire .410 shotgun shells."

 

According to this, Bush was right. Iraq may have had handguns altered to fire .410 shotfun shells or WMD's

 

This guy is indeed an idiot and he lives close to my significant other's younger brother.

[Kor37 9]

Using a Car Might Have Been Better...

AP

Posted: 2008-01-24 17:55:13

SANDY SPRINGS, Ga. (AP) - A bank robbery suspect was arrested while waiting at a bus stop to make her getaway, police said. Channel Monae Gaskin, 22, was arrested Wednesday after a police officer saw her waiting for a bus and matched her to the description of the robbery suspect. She has been charged with robbery.

 

"That just wasn't too bright," Sandy Springs police Lt. Steve Rose said of the escape plan.

 

A woman went into a bank shortly after 1 p.m. Wednesday and demanded money, police said. She did not show a weapon.

 

After being given a bag of cash, she ran across a parking lot to a restaurant, where a dye bomb exploded and sprayed orange-colored ink on her and the money, police said.

 

She left the restaurant and then tried to stash the dye-stained clothes and money in a bathroom at a nearby grocery store, Rose said.

 

The woman apparently changed clothes and went to a bus stop behind the grocery store, Rose said.

 

But what made Gaskin think she could escape on public transportation? Police say she told them she had done it before.

 

Gaskin admitted that on Jan. 15, she robbed a bank in DeKalb County and then got on a bus, police said.

 

The woman was taken Wednesday to the Fulton County Jail and likely will be turned over to DeKalb County authorities and charged with the Jan. 15 robbery, police said.

 

[Kor37 9]

Bold statement nets Fox Lake woman a drunken driving charge

AP

Posted: 2008-01-28 10:03:11

FOX LAKE, Wis. (AP) - Perhaps a Town of Fox Lake woman should have let the call she answered in her vehicle go to voice mail instead.

 

Officers checking a 911 hang-up call made from a cell phone early Sunday reached the 51-year-old woman, who said her 60-year-old passenger had called the authorities.

 

She told officers that he believed she "had too much to drink and shouldn't be driving," according to the Dodge County Sheriff's Department and the dispatch log.

 

The woman described her vehicle before saying she was heading home. She never made it after she was pulled over and arrested for drunken driving.

 

Really smart woman there....

[Kor37 9]

Conn. Man Tries to Sell Pot Online

AP

Posted: 2008-02-01 13:19:10

STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) - If you're looking to sell high-grade marijuana, Craigslist may not be the place to do it. A man learned that the hard way when the "buyer" who contacted him turned out to be an undercover officer, Stamford police said.

 

Police said Steven Zahorsky, 24, posted an ad for "Mary Jane in Fairfield County." The ad offered a half-ounce of "A plus" marijuana for $220 and the same amount of "B plus" marijuana for $160.

 

Stamford Lt. Jon Fontneau said officers spotted the ad and responded, claiming to be a painting crew interested in buying drugs during a work break.

 

Zahorsky allegedly agreed to sell three-quarters of an ounce of marijuana at an Interstate 95 rest stop, Fontneau said.

 

Police said they arrived Wednesday afternoon and called Zahorsky's cell phone. He answered and agreed to meet at the rest stop McDonald's in 15 minutes.

 

Zahorsky allegedly stopped at the undercover officer's car and took $320 in cash in exchange for the marijuana, police said.

 

When Stamford and Darien officers arrested Zahorsky, he claimed he was at the McDonald's to eat and had no idea why police were arresting him, Fontneau said.

 

He said police found $320 on Zahorsky and the undercover officer's number on his cell phone.

 

They searched Zahorsky's Bridgeport apartment and found three bags of marijuana and one bag of hallucinogenic mushrooms, along with a shotgun, ammunition and a digital scale, Fontneau said.

 

Zahorsky was charged with several drug charges and released on $10,000 bond. He is due back in Stamford Superior Court on Feb. 13. No one answered the phone at a number listed for Zahorsky.

 

People from 450 cities can post classified ads and opinions on Craigslist.

 

:P

[Kor37 9]

Burglar Found Sleeping in Malaysia Home

AP

Posted: 2008-02-04 03:34:59

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - There was no fairy tale ending for a Malaysian man who copied Goldilocks.

 

The man broke into an empty house in northeastern Malaysia, helped himself to cookies in the kitchen and then went to sleep in a child's bedroom, where he was discovered when the family returned home after a shopping trip, police and news reports said Monday.

 

The man, who later tested positive for drugs, woke up only when roused by police officers, who were summoned by the shocked family in the northeastern state of Terengganu late Saturday, state crime investigation chief Mohamad Hazam Abdul Halim said.

 

"Because of the drugs, he fell asleep. Unfortunate for him," Mohamad Hazam told The Associated Press.

 

House owner V. Sathya said the intruder was discovered by his 9-year-old son who ran out shouting - in a scene reminiscent of the "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" fairy tale.

 

"Even then the burglar did not wake up and carried on sleeping while holding on to one of my wife's purses," he told The Star newspaper.

 

Mohamad Hazam said the intruder was arrested for alleged trespassing because the family reported nothing missing except the cookies.

 

"I guess my wife's cookies were just too irresistible for him ... the rogue ate everything," Sathya was quoted as saying.

 

 

 

:jem'hadar:

[Kor37 9]

Oh, Come On. Show Me That Handsome Mug

AP

Posted: 2008-02-05 21:51:16

YORK, Pa. (AP) - Police said a York County bank robbery suspect was undone by being too willing to follow instructions. Police said Brian Waltermyer, 33, who was homeless, walked into the Integrity Bank in York on Thursday evening wearing a hood.

 

He handed a teller a note demanding money, and the teller told him to remove the hood. He did, giving the bank surveillance cameras a crystal-clear view of his face.

 

Police said officers who watched the tape recognized Waltermyer and tellers were able to identify him from a photo lineup. Police arrested him on Monday.

 

Waltermyer is being held on $50,000 bail at the York County Prison.

 

:jem'hadar:

[Kor37 9]

Transportation Chronicles: Dolphins Aren't for Driving

Feb 6th 2008

By Tom Radler

HumorWeird

 

There comes a point during every drunken evening when all you want is to get home. Paying $100 for a cab is bad, but trying to flag down a passing sea mammal is probably crossing the line.

 

Two Brits are now in court defending themselves against charges of grabbing onto a bottlenose dolphin and trying to "hitch a ride" after a night at the pub last year. Michael Jukes and Daniel Buck, both 26, have admitted that they disregarded signs near the shore, in their town of Folkestone, which warned against bothering the creature.

 

"He was happy to have people there. People travel thousands of miles to do that in Florida, so I took advantage while it was there," Jukes told London's Metro newspaper. "I grabbed his fin, but he didn't seem up for pulling us along. I said: 'Give him some space. Don't upset him.' The dolphin came to us. It's a powerful creature.'"

 

The two men were spotted by a marine biologist, and have been charged with "interfering with" the animal, which has since gone missing.

 

 

<_<

[Kor37 9]

Jury convicts man who represented himself on robbery charge

AP

Posted: 2008-02-14 10:45:12

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. (AP) - Jurors convicted a New Haven man who compared himself to the New York Giants taking on the New England Patriots as he represented himself on an attempted bank robbery charge.

 

Daniel Riles, who faces up to 25 years in prison, vowed during his trial in Bridgeport that he would take on the legal community single-handedly.

 

But the 31-year-old had no comment this week when six jurors found him guilty of attempted first-degree robbery and criminal possession of a firearm in November 2006 incident.

 

Riles fired his court-appointed attorney at the beginning of the case and decided to represent himself.

 

He started by asking prospective jurors what they thought of bank robberies. All said they do not support them.

 

"Well, how about attempted bank robberies?" he asked.

 

Riles did not testify on his own behalf, but suggested during closing arguments that he had been set up. Then he admitted a surgical mask and gloves found in the getaway car were his.

 

He was arrested after allegedly demanding $20,000 from a Chase bank manager at gunpoint. The manager said he was going to get the money, but instead ran to a back room and locked the door behind him. Riles fled.

 

Friend Robert Lee said he gave Riles a ride to Bridgeport, supposedly to drop him off at the home of a former girlfriend who lived near the bank. But when Riles came back to the car, he told Lee, "That didn't go so well."

 

Lee said Riles confessed that he had tried to rob the bank. Lee said he ordered Riles to get out of the car and drove away.

 

Police pulled over Lee soon after and officers said they found a surgical mask and gloves with Riles' DNA. Lee was charged in connection with the robbery attempt, but that charge was later dropped.

 

Police arrested Riles at a New Haven apartment a month later.

 

"I don't know what the big deal is," he allegedly told police. "At least I didn't sell any poison to my own people or hit someone over the head and take their money."

 

Sentencing is scheduled for March 26.

 

"It was a very conscientious jury, which carefully reviewed the evidence before determining Mr. Riles was guilty beyond a reasonable doubt," said Senior Assistant State's Attorney Robert Brennan.

 

Riles claims that, as a result of his legal prowess, he has taken on a number of legal clients at the Bridgeport Correctional Center.

 

 

<_<

[Kor37 9]

Man Drives Stolen Car to Police Station

AP

Posted: 2008-02-20 21:38:14

ANDERSON, S.C. (AP) - Authorities say a man drove a stolen car to the Anderson County Sheriff's Office to demand the return of nearly $2,000 officers seized from him during a drug arrest last June.

 

Deputies said after they told Charles Chambers, 36, to leave Tuesday afternoon, an officer noticed he got into a car that matched the description of a vehicle stolen about three hours earlier.

 

Another officer pulled the man over and told him to stop the car. The officer said Chambers stuck a screwdriver in the ignition to shut it off because the vehicle's key switch had been removed.

 

Authorities say Chambers was charged with possession of a stolen automobile, driving under suspension and a tag violation.

 

 

 

:P

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

Authorities say Chambers was charged with possession of a stolen automobile, driving under suspension and a tag violation.

 

Wouldn't the tag violation belong to the actual owner of the car?

[Kor37 9]

Authorities say Chambers was charged with possession of a stolen automobile, driving under suspension and a tag violation.

 

Wouldn't the tag violation belong to the actual owner of the car?

I'm guessing that the tag violation was that the car had stolen tags on it.

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

It sounds like he stole the car and then put false tags on it. He had 3 hours which would be enough time.

[Kor37 9]

Say. Didn't We Arrest You Awhile Ago?

AP

Posted: 2008-02-21 16:16:17

MOSCOW, Pa. (AP) - Police say a Lackawanna County man suspected of drunken driving was released in custody of his sister, who took his keys. But four hours later police got another call. This time it was to a Covington Township intersection where authorities say the man crashed his car into a state Department of Transportation end loader.

 

State police say Daniel Corbett, 56, of Spring Brook Township, was taken to Community Medical Center both times - about 2 a.m. Wednesday and again about 6 a.m.

 

Corbett had his blood alcohol tested, but a state police news release does not say what, if any, charges he is likely to face.

 

State police say following the second accident, Corbett was taken to Community Medical Center with moderate injuries.

 

A hospital spokeswoman told The Times-Tribune in Scranton she had no further information about him.

 

 

I wonder what happened to the sister with the keys?..... :P

[Kor37 9]

Man cited after relieving himself in front of police department

AP

Posted: 2008-02-24 02:10:51

APPLETON, Wis. (AP) - An apparently drunk man picked the wrong place to tinkle.

 

Appleton police arrested the man Friday afternoon after he reportedly relieved himself in front of the police department.

 

The 40-year-old was cited for public urination and jailed on a probation violation.

 

A preliminary breath test indicated a blood-alcohol level four times the legal limit, police said.

 

 

[Kor37 9]

Iowa man fired after repeated requests for prostitute

AP

Posted: 2008-02-25 10:58:47

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - A judge has denied an Iowa man's claim that he shouldn't have been fired for repeatedly requesting help to procure a prostitute.

 

Neil Jorgensen, 62, of Kalona, worked at Riverside Casino and Golf Resort in Riverside and was given a gift certificate and free night's stay at the casino hotel to mark a year's employment.

 

After eating and drinking at a casino restaurant, he returned to his hotel room about midnight and later called hotel managers about hiring a prostitute. When managers refused to help him, he made a call to the adjacent resort and made the same request.

 

"The advertisement is that it's just like Las Vegas, so I thought I was in Las Vegas," Jorgensen testified at a hearing regarding his request for unemployment benefits.

 

Hotel workers were sent to Jorgensen's room to ask him to stop demanding prostitutes. When they arrived at his room, Jorgensen answered the door in the nude, human resources director Tim Donovan said.

 

Jorgensen was fired the next day.

 

At the hearing, Jorgensen said his actions didn't hurt the casino, and he said he'd received strong performance reviews. He also blamed the restaurant for serving him too much alcohol.

 

"I was absolutely plowed," he said.

 

Administrative Law Judge Terence Nice turned down Jorgensen's claim for unemployment benefits.

 

 

[TJ Phaserman 2]

that kinda reminds me of one of my old roommates lol

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

Iowa man fired after repeated requests for prostitute

"The advertisement is that it's just like Las Vegas, so I thought I was in Las Vegas," Jorgensen testified at a hearing regarding his request for unemployment benefits.

It isn't legal in Las Vegas either.

[trekz 7]

Iowa man fired after repeated requests for prostitute

"The advertisement is that it's just like Las Vegas, so I thought I was in Las Vegas," Jorgensen testified at a hearing regarding his request for unemployment benefits.

It isn't legal in Las Vegas either.

You seem to be far too sure about this being illegal in Las Vegas, Van Roy, for this to have been the first time this question has come up ...

[Kor37 9]

Prostitution is illegal within the Las Vegas city limits. Outside Las Vegas, it is legal. It is heavily advertised in Vegas, though. If you want a prostitute, you can hop on a helicopter and they will fly you to the brothel.

[TJ Phaserman 2]

like the bunny ranch outside of reno

[Kor37 9]

Roger That. It's a Man on a Lawn Mower

AP

Posted: 2008-02-27 17:10:26

VANCOUVER, Wash. (AP) - A man led police on a very slow-speed chase, refusing to stop while riding a lawn mower at about 3 mph across a busy street and steering it toward an officer before he was grabbed and arrested, a police report says.

 

Now, authorities say, the question is whether Stephen Ray Castor, 53, already under investigation in the breaking of a window of a man's house and the episode with the officer, can also be charged with drunken driving. State law is silent on whether riding mowers are covered by the law against driving under the influence.

 

Castor remained in the Clark County Jail with bail set at $40,000 pending a court appearance Friday.

 

Police said the chase began late Monday afternoon after Jason Taylor reported that Castor - a stranger to him - cursed at him, rode the mower through his fence gate and smashed a window with a lawn chair.

 

Castor drove the mower across a boulevard and down a city street, the police report said. Officer Gregory J. Hibbard got out of his patrol car and told Castor to stop, then had to sidestep to avoid being hit, the report said.

 

Shortly afterward, several officers pulled Castor off the mower and arrested him.

 

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

I think you posted a similar story once before. Either that or it was a tractor or a snowplough or something.

[Theunicornhunter 2]

I believe the prior story was a golf cart.