Einstein Of The Week!

[TJ Phaserman 2]

no...i think it was a michigan man driving to get beer and driving drunk on a lawnmower

[GhostofMajorHayes 10]

^ I think you're right.

[TJ Phaserman 2]

i know im right because i posted the same article by mistake last month.

Edited February 28, 2008 by tj_hawk

[Kor37 9]

There seems to be a lot of crazy people riding lawnmowers in public lately, hence the confusion.

[Kor37 9]

Man robs Des Moines store, leaves W-2 form

AP

Posted: 2008-02-29 11:34:11

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - The robber of a convenience store left behind an unusual clue - a W-2 form.

 

The man robbed a Git-N-Go store in Des Moines early Friday after telling a clerk he had a gun. He left the store with about $115 but at some point took off his hat and jacket.

 

When police responded, they found the tax form in the coat pocket.

 

Officers checked the name on the form and found a listing for a 25-year-old with a suspended driver's license who is on probation for theft. The man's description matched information provided by the clerk.

 

Police are still looking for the robber.

 

 

<_<

[TJ Phaserman 2]

how bad of a idiot can you be leaving something like that behind

[Angela 1]

All he neededto do was hand them a letter which said I am so and so, Ilook so and so and I live at X, y and z. Yeesh was he droppedon his head or did he come from a family of clowns???

[Kor37 9]

'Elvis' Shows Up at Kentucky Court Drunk

AP

Posted: 2008-03-05 21:34:57

NICHOLASVILLE, Ky. (AP) - A central Kentucky judge had a suspicious mind when an Elvis Presley impersonator showed up for court apparently drunk and sporting sunglasses and a rhinestone-studded shirt with a scarf draped around his neck.

 

County Attorney Brian Goettl said that as a result, the judge had David Blaisdell, 64, tested for intoxication and sentenced him to three days in jail for contempt of court when it was determined that the man's blood-alcohol level was nearly twice that at which a person in Kentucky is considered legally drunk.

 

Blaisdell, who was in court for a pretrial conference on misdemeanor charges of stalking and violating a protective order, told the judge he had had a few drinks the night before, Goettl said.

 

 

[trekz 7]

'Elvis' Shows Up at Kentucky Court Drunk

AP

Posted: 2008-03-05 21:34:57

NICHOLASVILLE, Ky. (AP) - A central Kentucky judge had a suspicious mind when an Elvis Presley impersonator showed up for court apparently drunk and sporting sunglasses and a rhinestone-studded shirt with a scarf draped around his neck.

 

County Attorney Brian Goettl said that as a result, the judge had David Blaisdell, 64, tested for intoxication and sentenced him to three days in jail for contempt of court when it was determined that the man's blood-alcohol level was nearly twice that at which a person in Kentucky is considered legally drunk.

 

Blaisdell, who was in court for a pretrial conference on misdemeanor charges of stalking and violating a protective order, told the judge he had had a few drinks the night before, Goettl said.

 

 

And now he's a singin' ... that Jail House rock!

[Kor37 9]

Crime spree ends thanks to GPS ankle bracelet

Posted Mar 13th 2008 12:13PM by Joshua Topolsky

Filed under: GPS

 

Odds are, if you're committing a series of robberies while wearing an ankle bracelet put on you by the law, you might not be the brightest bulb in the bunch. That's exactly what one Ohio resident got up to recently, though unfortunately for him, he was located by the GPS chip embedded in the aforementioned bracelet. Apparently, after six or so burglaries in his neighborhood, police got wise to the situation and pinpointed James Wombles using signals from his fashionable accessory, finding him innocently relaxing in a vehicle filled up with stolen items. The man had no comment, though we imagine upon capture he might have said something like, "Durrr." Once again GPS technology proves it's not just for getting cars stuck in cherry trees.

[Kor37 9]

Cops: Teen Tried to Steal Cruiser's Gas

AP

Posted: 2008-03-17 18:45:13

LAMBERTVILLE, Mich. (AP) - A Monroe County sheriff's detective on a stakeout to catch an arsonist arrested the suspect as he tried to steal gas from the officer's cruiser. Officers were placed around homes currently under construction after police had gotten two arson complaints within the past week.

 

Several officers, including Detective Thomas Redmond, watched the 17-year-old walk away from his Lambertville home early Sunday carrying a bucket before he approached Redmond's unmarked vehicle.

 

Police say the teen unscrewed the gas cap and started siphoning the fuel before Redmond got out of the car and chased him.

 

Authorities say the teen later admitted to the two arsons as well as three other arsons in 2006.

Brilliant!...

[TJ Phaserman 2]

well its like what my mom says....you can't fix stupid

[Kor37 9]

Man Gets 30 Days' Jail for Taco Theft

By ANDREW DALTON,AP

Posted: 2008-03-20 00:12:13

LOS ANGELES (AP) - A man who pretended to be a CEO complaining about his fast-food order in a taco scam was sentenced to 30 days in jail after authorities saw the prank in an online video.

 

Rialto police said it was an easy case to crack because the video, called "How to Scam Del Taco" and posted on YouTube.com, shows Robert Echeverria, 32, calling the restaurant about 50 miles east of Los Angeles on Feb. 19.

 

In a friendly tone he claims to be a CEO named "Robert Kennedy" who has already spoken to the store's manager and corporate office about some unwanted sour cream and the lack of a receipt in a previous order.

 

"I love your guys' tacos," he said.

 

One of his two 18-year-old co-stars is later shown walking into the restaurant and claiming the food. The video ends with the three men feasting and laughing.

 

Echeverria even provided a pair of personal phone numbers in the video, Rialto police Lt. Joe Cirilo said.

 

A Rialto resident saw the video online last month and called police, authorities said.

 

On Tuesday, Echeverria pleaded guilty to misdemeanor burglary and received a sentence of 30 days in jail, three years' probation and one special condition: a ban from the Rialto Del Taco.

 

"I tried to get him to stay away from all Del Tacos, but the judge said just the one," Deputy District Attorney Doug Schaller said.

 

Schaller said the two teens can expect a similar plea deal, most likely minus the jail time.

Real nice of this guy to provide the Police everything they needed to arrest him.....

[Kor37 9]

Man Reports Marijuana Theft, Gets Busted

AP

Posted: 2008-03-21 03:50:06

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - An Australian man's complaint of an break-in at his home went to pot Friday when police arrested him for growing marijuana.

 

The 35-year-old man in the central Australian city of Adelaide called police to report that six men had broken into his house through a window and stolen parts of his cannabis plants, South Australia Police said.

 

Police were unable to find the intruders but brought a drug warrant to search the home, where they found six large cannabis plants growing in two bedrooms, police said in a statement.

 

The man was charged with cultivating cannabis for sale.

 

"Members of the public are reminded that the growing of cannabis is not only illegal but can also attract other criminal activity such home break-ins and assaults," the statement said.

 

[Kor37 9]

State troopers make drunken driving arrest in their own lot

AP

Posted: 2008-03-22 04:03:30

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) - State troopers are used to chasing motorists they suspect of drunken driving but say this one came right to them.

 

Sgt. Michael L. Rupert and dispatcher Susan L. Bula noticed someone pull into the Washington State Patrol parking lot west of town about 4 a.m. Friday, backed into an unauthorized space and sat tight with the headlights on, Trooper Mark J. Baker said.

 

After about 15 minutes, Trooper Travis S. Robbins was summoned and arrested the man in the driver's seat, Thomas Wood, 36, for investigation of drunken driving

 

"How often do the drunks come to you?" Bula asked.

[Kor37 9]

Contest lands workers comp recipient in legal trouble

AP

Posted: 2008-03-25 12:38:14

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) - Prosecutors say a state correction officer faces a fraud charge for running a 40-yard dash in high heels while he was supposedly too injured to work.

 

State prosecutors say Garrett A. Dalton of Naugatuck dressed up as a woman and ran carrying an egg on a spoon to win Hannah Montana tickets in a radio station contest.

 

He was charged with workers' compensation fraud after someone spotted him on a TV news report about the contest. He did not win the tickets and returned to work soon after.

 

Prosecutors say the 41-year-old collected more than $5,000 in workers' compensation after he reported suffering a work-related injury in June. He was charged with misrepresenting facts about his medical condition and ability to work.

 

He has been released on a promise to appear April 8 in New Haven Superior Court.

 

Court documents do not list an attorney for Dalton, and his phone number is unlisted.

Imbecile.......

[TJ Phaserman 2]

Traffickers on the run after flagging down cops

 

Wed Mar 26, 9:34 AM ET

 

SUVA (Reuters) - Two Fijian youths who mistakenly stopped a police car thinking it was their truck are now on the run after dumping their sacks of dried leaves, believed to be marijuana, at the feet of the police and fleeing into bushes.

 

The two boys, both on horseback, were carrying up to two kgs of leaves when they stopped the police patrol car on Monday near the town of Nausori, the Fiji Times newspaper said on Wednesday.

 

Realizing their mistake the boys dropped the sacks of leaves, abandoned the horses and fled into bushes.

 

"As for the identity of the two youths that fled, the police are aware of who they are," assistant police superintendent Salacieli Naivilawasa told the newspaper.

 

"It's a matter of going to their village and picking them up. One of the two suspects that fled is a known drug trafficker."

[Kor37 9]

Where is the world is "Suva"?...

[Kor37 9]

Man Accidentally Kills Wife During Botched Satellite TV Install

Posted Mar 26th 2008 7:20PM by Tim Stevens

Filed under: Audio/Video, TV

 

 

You know those annoying pro-cable commercials that always talk about how awful or expensive it is to install a satellite dish, and how comparatively easy, cheap, and dependable cable is? Yeah, well, they don't have anything on this story out of Sedalia, Missouri, where a husband has admitted to shooting his wife during the install of a home satellite TV system.

 

Amazingly the husband, Ronald Long, was trying to use a .22-caliber pistol to shoot a hole through the wall in the couple's home to enable them to run a wire through to the television. His first shot was apparently unsuccessful in penetrating the wall and his second shot somehow hit his wife in the chest, 34-year-old Patsy Long. She was pronounced dead on Saturday night.

 

Ronald could now be charged with manslaughter, though prosecutors haven't confirmed whether that is their intention. It also remains to be seen whether the cable companies will start filming new ads about these new potential dangers of satellite dish installation, but we wouldn't put it past them.

 

No doubt we will now get a new warning label for satellite dishes......"WARNING: PISTOLS SHOULD NOT BE USED WHEN INSTALLING DISH".....

 

[Kor37 9]

Man Threatens Schwarzenegger Via E-mail, Gets Busted For Child Porn

Posted Apr 2nd 2008 10:12AM by Evan Shamoon

Filed under: Computers

 

Deep in the realm of bad ideas, a man named David Kearby Clements sent a nasty e-mail to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger in September 2004, protesting the lack of enforcement of California's Compassionate Use Act -- the initiative that was to allow medical use of marijuana with a doctor's recommendation.

 

According to court papers, however, Clements apparently made the e-mail faux pas of calling the Governator a "Nazi" and threatening to physically harm him. This, in turn, attracted the attention of the California Highway Patrol (CHP), the agency responsible for protecting the governor.

 

On Feb. 16, 2005, CHP officers executed a search warrant at Clements' South Lake Tahoe home to obtain evidence that the e-mail originated on his computer, where they also found a bounty of "child pornography, sexually explicit images of minors, and child erotica," according to court papers.

 

On Monday, the 50 year-old Clements was sentenced to five years in federal prison for receipt and possession of child pornography.

 

The moral? Nazis and child pornography just don't mix. Clearly.

[Kor37 9]

Alleged Truck Burglar Gets Locked Inside

AP

Posted: 2008-04-02 21:00:59

WATERLOO, Iowa (AP) - A Waterloo man has been charged with burglary after allegedly breaking into a truck and getting locked inside. Cash Burch, 24, was arrested Wednesday after the owner of a Ford Explorer found him inside his vehicle and called police.

 

The owner, Mark Laures, said Burch could not get out because the Explorer has an anti-theft device that activates when the battery loses power. Laures said Burch wore down the battery trying to start the Explorer and became locked inside.

 

Burch damaged the dashboard trying to escape but was still inside the truck when officers arrived. Police opened the door from the outside and charged him with third-degree burglary.

[Kor37 9]

Alleged Bank Robber Leaves Her Photo ID

AP

Posted: 2008-04-03 21:46:56

WARREN, Mich. (AP) - A would-be bank robber came away empty-handed but left behind something useful for police: her photo identification. The woman was arrested less than an hour later on a charge of attempted armed robbery, Police Commissioner William Dwyer said.

 

The woman filled out an account application Thursday morning, then pulled a handgun and demanded cash, Dwyer said. She panicked and fled without getting any money; police found an address on the account application, along with her photo ID.

 

The address was for an apartment near the bank. The manager gave the woman's new address to police, who arrested her without incident.

 

"We're probably not dealing with the smartest person in the world," Dwyer told The Detroit News for a story published online Thursday.

[Kor37 9]

Suspect in armed robbery fills out job application before crime

AP

Posted: 2008-04-06 07:21:36

ATHENS, Ga. (AP) - Police didn't have to do much guesswork to identify a suspect in the armed robbery of an Athens convenience store.

 

Authorities say 28-year-old Demetrius Robinson filled out a job application before wielding a knife and robbing the Golden Pantry store last week. He left his real name and his uncle's phone number on the sheet but diverted police for several days with a phony address.

 

Police arrested Robinson early Saturday morning on armed robbery charges after getting an anonymous tip to his whereabouts. Investigators say he filled out the application to kill time until the store emptied of customers.

 

Authorities say Robinson is also suspect in several other armed robberies.

 

Information from: Athens Banner-Herald, http://www.onlineathens.com

 

 

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.

04/06/08 07:18 EDT

I swear these bozos get dumber every year!......

[Kor37 9]

Malaysian police catch greedy restaurant robbers who returned for seconds

AP

Posted: 2008-04-06 23:55:50

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - Three men who stole cash from a restaurant in Malaysia got caught when they returned for a second helping.

 

The culprits grabbed 500 ringgit (US$160; euro100) from the cash box early Sunday, then came back minutes later to ask for more. This time they pretended to be local toughs, and offered protection from burglars for 2,100 ringgit (US$660; euro420) a month, the New Straits Times and The Star reported Monday.

 

The men thought they had concealed their identities by wearing motorcycle helmets during their first foray, but the owner - who watched the first theft on closed-circuit television - recognized their clothes and called the police, the reports said.

 

Police cordoned off the restaurant and detained the three suspects, The Star said.

 

The police officer in charge of the case declined to immediately comment to The Associated Press, saying he would reveal details at a news conference later Monday.

:lol:

[Kor37 9]

Police: Suspect Took Cab To, From Bank

AP

Posted: 2008-04-08 18:17:45

EAST POINT, Ga. (AP) - Police said they easily caught a bank robbery suspect after he had a taxi take him to and from the scene of the crime.

 

East Point police Captain Russell Popham said officers arrested Marcus Chisholm at his apartment just a few hours after they said he robbed a SunTrust Bank.

 

Authorities said Chisholm had a cab pick him up at his apartment, take him to the bank and then take him home after the robbery.

 

The cab driver gave officers Chisholm's address and identified him in the bank's surveillance video.

:P

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

There was a 1979 movie called Going In Style where 3 old men (2 of them played by George Burns and Art Carney) rob a bank, and guess what? They used a cab.

[Kor37 9]

Cops Arrest Man for Bow & Arrow Threats

AP

Posted: 2008-04-08 23:04:07

RAPID CITY, S.D. (AP) - Rapid City police say an intoxicated man has been arrested for standing in the middle of a street on Monday night and threatening motorists with a bow and arrows. Loren Two Bulls, 23, of Rapid City, was arrested.

 

He's charged with six counts of aggravated assault and one count of theft of mislaid property.

 

Police say Two Bulls had a large razor knife, smelled of alcohol and slurred his words.

 

Two motorists called police.

 

People in one car said they saw a man shoot an arrow at another vehicle before taking aim at them. They say a third vehicle also passed while the man was aiming at cars.

 

Any progress made to do away with the stereotyping of American Indians has been single-handidly set back about 200 years because of this guy....... :P

[Kor37 9]

Woman Accused of DUI at Police Station

AP

Posted: 2008-04-09 17:24:08

NEWPORT, Ore. (AP) - The Oregon State Police arrest drunken drivers on the road every day. But it's not often when the drivers show up drunk at a state police office.

 

Troopers charged Ruby Ann Pederson, 42, of Newport with driving under the influence of intoxicants after she came to work to clean the state police office.

 

A trooper said she showed signs of being intoxicated after driving to the office with her 12-year-old son. A blood-alcohol test showed her level was 0.19 percent - more than twice the legal limit.

 

She was also charged with recklessly endangering another person

:P

[Kor37 9]

Drunken Ore. suspect gets 2nd DUI count

AP

Posted: 2008-04-15 18:55:48

JOHN DAY, Ore. (AP) - It was a case, from the perspective of the bench, of drunken pleading.

 

So Circuit Judge William Cramer held 53-year-old Thorvall Pattee of John Day in contempt last week for showing up in that condition and summoned the state police, who administered a breath test.

 

When they got the results, they accused Pattee of a second count of drunken driving.

 

He was appearing in front of Cramer on the first one.

 

The state police concluded that he had driven to court with a blood alcohol content nearly three times Oregon's limit of .08 percent.

[Kor37 9]

Report: Malaysian policeman caught after breaking into car, dozing off

AP

Posted: 2008-04-18 00:00:01

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - A Malaysian cop was arrested after he allegedly broke into a Mercedes Benz to steal its stereo but then dozed off on its luxurious seat, a news report said Friday.

 

The police officer allegedly was high on drugs and fell asleep while trying to steal a compact disc player from the car while it was parked at a hotel in southern Malacca state on Monday, the New Straits Times reported.

 

The officer, who was not identified, is allegedly a member of a gang linked to other break-ins and motorcycle thefts, the report said. After his arrest he led police to three other alleged members of the gang who are also linked to the police force, it said.

 

All four were being detained at a police station, it said.

 

Police could not immediately be reached to confirm the report.