Kyra_Ashleigh's Personal Log...

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Sometimes I look over my log and have to laugh all the the useless stuff I worry about.

 

I've got a few odd things on my mind at the moment. My work is being sued by a disgruntled customer. I'm named in the lawsuit, so if it goes forward, I will have to appear in court whether or not I'm still working there. I wasn't even working there when the problem occurred, but the guy got my name off my name tag when I later attempted to help him with his problem, so now I'm being sued. Lovely.

 

It would be really funny if it wasn't for the "pain in the backside" factor.

 

We really should throw a "frivolous lawsuit" counterclaim out there and make the a-hole pay for all the time we've spent with his stupid shipping problem. And the time it takes us to prepare our case and go to court, plus employee labor for everyone being called to testify, plus gas money, etc, etc. It would be way more than what the guy's suing us for. Mind you, the whole thing is stupid because he should be suing the company who says they never recieved their merchandise back, when we have sent them several dozen documents showing it *was* delivered. We've been nothing but helpful towards this guy and this is the thanks we get.

 

I'm also hitting snags left and right trying to get the financial part of my divorce done with. I have to go over tonight and have a serious talk with the ex about what we need to do to get things moving again. He's stalling trying to get a better interest rate on the loan he requires to buy out my interest in the family home. I can't get moving on moving without the down payment for a place of my own, so I'm getting mad.

 

It would all be good and fine if he wasn't so interested in quibbling over a quarter point on the interest rate. I'm just sitting here watching as all the condos in the neighborhood I prefer sell, sell, sell. And the prices are rising again and again.

 

And I've finally come to the conclusion that "guy friend with girlfriend" = very bad waste of time. Gee, it took me this long to figure *that* out? :P

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

I'm feeling a little better today. My ex has almost got his loan issues worked out, so I will get my payout five business days after the papers are signed. It's looking to be done with by the 31st! :P

 

I spent the weekend with my ex... we watched some Star Trek and discussed a few things. He's really good at finding information, so he looked up a bunch of comperables to the properties I was looking at and it looks like market value on those is just about normal.

 

But he found a unit that's going to foreclosure auction on the 2nd. So we're hoping to swoop in and make a steal there... we were actually originally going to go see the property owner and make a deal to buy it directly from them to help them from having the foreclosure on their record, but it's too late in the process to do that and the owner has already vacated the property, so we were unable to even make an offer.

 

My ex also surprised me by "lending" me the money to buy a leather couch and loveseat this afternoon. One of our friends is storing the items for me until I get my place. I'm just so thrilled, I never thought I'd have leather furniture!

 

It's nice to know that if one of my friends lets me down, another one will be there to step up and give me a hand when I need it.

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Well, I must say I'm learning a lot about buying real estate. We put in an offer on a condo yesterday, but someone else beat us to it, so we're waiting now to see if the buyer backs out for any reason.

 

It would probably be easier if I wasn't so set on the area I plan to move to. But I want to be happy with where I live, so now it's wait and see.

 

I'm thinking I'm going to drive down there again today and check out something a few neighborhoods over. It's the same construction and floor plan, but a different subdivision. I'm not so in love with the other subdivision, but I just can't let myself sit around with a large sum of money in my bank account.

 

Money seems to disappear mysteriously when it's living in my bank accounts!

 

My mortgage broker called me earlier... something about debt to income ratio. Ok, so I put more money down and have less to buy fun stuff with, no biggie, riiiiight? I mean, worse-case scenario, I have only left myself with $10,000 in reserve "emergency" money. How many young people with a lousy retail job are walking around with that much money in savings?

 

I've known that my divorce settlement was coming since May. It's not like I haven't run the numbers a half-dozen times to see what would work and what wouldn't.

 

I was told by my agent that I'm not allowed to make any major purchases until I have moved into my new place. Ok, I can live with that as long as I'm not waiting for several months. I almost joked to her a bit, "what do you mean I can't put GAS in my car???"

 

I guess I should go do something. Sitting around here worrying isn't doing me any good!

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

I finally told my "best friend" that I can't see him anymore.

 

And of course, I took me over an hour after I went over there to get the courage to say the words I needed to. And before I ever got started I found out a few things which should have made me change my mind.

 

His girlfriend is moving away. I guess he just found out the day before. He didn't even seem sad about it, he just said that there was no way in hell he was going to drive two hours every weekend to see her.

 

And he didn't take *another* girl to a concert like I thought he had. He gave her the tickets because he didn't think he'd get off work in time to see it, so she took her boyfriend.

 

But I still told him I couldn't see him anymore. He held me while I cried on his shoulder. But he never asked me to stay. So I went home and left him there.

 

I'm sad, but I had to do it. Right now the only thing I should be worrying about is buying a place and moving.

[A l t e r E g o 9]

[Spike The Trill 0]

I finally told my "best friend" that I can't see him anymore. 

 

And of course, I took me over an hour after I went over there to get the courage to say the words I needed to. And before I ever got started I found out a few things which should have made me change my mind.

 

His girlfriend is moving away. I guess he just found out the day before. He didn't even seem sad about it, he just said that there was no way in hell he was going to drive two hours every weekend to see her.

 

And he didn't take *another* girl to a concert like I thought he had. He gave her the tickets because he didn't think he'd get off work in time to see it, so she took her boyfriend.

 

But I still told him I couldn't see him anymore. He held me while I cried on his shoulder. But he never asked me to stay. So I went home and left him there.

 

I'm sad, but I had to do it. Right now the only thing I should be worrying about is buying a place and moving. 

349231[/snapback]

 

[Mr.Picard 12]

Many, many, many more hugs from me, too.

[Kor37 9]

It took a lot of courage to do that Kyra but I think you did the right thing. Its gonna hurt for awhile though.

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Thanks for all the hugs. I really needed them.

 

But what I really need is more willpower. Guess who I went out with after work?

 

Dammit, this is why I had wanted to wait until I changed jobs to stop seeing this man, I have to see him every day at work. And it's not even so much my feelings for him as it is the fact that he and I have very compatible personalities. I can't not be nice to him, it would be like being cruel to myself if I did so.

 

But what it really comes down to is that I need to not push things. If I'm meant to get the condo I want, it will happen. If I'm meant to be with this man, he'll realize that he's being silly on his own.

 

I did what I felt I needed to do by being honest to him about my feelings. I told him I loved him, granted, but I also let him be very aware of the fact that it wasn't a conditional thing. I don't love him for what he might do for me, but for who he is. And that means I ca love him as a friend and not expect a relationship. It's hard to keep perspective in a situation like this, especially with so many changes going on in my life, but I have to accept that there's a reason this man is in my life, and it may not be what I expect, but he's there for me for a reason.

 

Now I just need to be patient. Just like the deal with buying my new place.

 

I just got word from my agent that the seller's agent in concerned that there might be a problem with the buyer ahead of me in line for the condo we put our offer down on. She has asked me to make sure I'm available the next few days in case we need to put in a supplement to our offer. I'm trying not to get too excited for the same reason I was trying not to get too worried. if it's meant to be, it'll work out, if not, I'll keep looking.

 

I'll trust that things will work out the way they're meant to. I'm already halfway to being the person I've always dreamt of being, I can't let myself get discouraged.

 

And yes, it hurt like hell to tell my friend that I needed time away from him. I felt guilty like I was abandoning him at the exact time he found out his girlfriend was moving away. But really, I needed him to understand beforehand why I might not be available to see him for a while, I need to concentrate on moving on after my divorce. I needed him to know that I never really abandon a friend, even if I need time away from them to get perspective.

 

I'm okay... and I'll be fine. I trust that things will work out, scaryas they might be at times!

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Well, I'm apparently banned from hanging around with the guys at the Redmond Deli Mart from now on.

 

I guess I got a little flirty the last time I was there and one of my friends decided to tell me not to come around anymore. Oh well, their loss, they can draw their own numbers for picking order in their stupid fantasy football league.

 

Things are looking more positive for my condo purchase. The other buyer has backed out for some reason. Now I just need to secure the loan and I'm all set. There's been so many ups and downs so far that I'm not getting too excited anymore. I'm worried that something else might go wrong.

 

And I wasn't supposed to say anything for a few more days, but I can share here... I'm getting promoted at work! I'm happy the boss finally made this decision, but at the same time I'm a little bit upset. Now I have a good reason to keep working there, so I will have to see that "friend" of mine every day for who knows how long.

 

I'm pretty sure the awkwardness will go away at some point, but it's hard for me to deal with because of all the other stress in my life right now. He spoke one word to me all day: "thirteen."

 

I spoke to my ex-mother in law in Baton Rouge for a while last night. She is safe and well. She's got some refugees from the badly damaged areas of the coast living with her for now and they're hanging in there. They're all scared and worried for friends they cannot reach, so I'm keeping them in my thoughts.

 

My coworker finally heard from his friend who was living in the French Quarter. He's fine, but his apartment building is totally gone.

 

My stress cannot compare to what so many people are going through right now. I just have to try and keep some perspective, I'm worried about buying a place... but so many people have just lost their homes and everything they owned. It's so hard to even contemplate what so many are having to deal with right now!

[Lursa 0]

I would have to agree with you. We thought we are America, and nothing would happen to us. But, the main question I've had on my mine is what took people so long to get down there? But, it is surely amazing to see all of us, since 9/11 to come as nation and help out once again.

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

But, the main question I've had on my mine is what took people so long to get down there? But, it is surely amazing to see all of us, since 9/11 to come as nation and help out once again.

 

Personally, I think the reason aid didn't arrive sooner is because of all the political arm-wrestling. Everyone wanted to take charge and nobody wanted to give up their control to a different agency.

 

It's like with the police, if the FBI shows up and says they're taking over a case, the people who were originally working the case don't want to let go and it turns into a big fight at times.

 

So, all these bigshots are arguing over who's in charge, meanwhile, the people have to wait to be rescued. It's horrible to think that people's egos were the main cause for delay.

 

But what it all comes down to is peole helping each other. I work in a retail shipping store, so I've seen tons of merchandise being sent to help those who have lost their homes. It warms my heart to see so many ordinary people helping out. I've been trying to help out as well, I have been keeping track of the addresses of shelters that we have sent to so that when someone asks if we know where they can send things, I have a list ready. We had over 30 boxes going to shelters in Baton Rouge on Tuesday, 13 of which were stuff I donated. It felt good to be able to help.

[Lursa 0]

That is great that you are giving out a helping hand.

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

That is great that you are giving out a helping hand.

 

It's nothing more than what I could hope for if I was in a similar situation. I only wish I could do more!

 

Personal log... today sucks.

 

:(

 

I got promoted at work officially today. But I also found out that it was a promotion conditional on an unwanted transfer to another store. The other option? Being laid off. :(

 

Our manager, one coworker and myself are being transferred to the store our owner just sold in order to help the new owner get things running well. Now, our owner said nothing about this transaction until this big change was sprung on us today.

 

I would quit on principal, right here, right now, except I have to maintain my employment until my condo purchase closes, otherwise the deal will fall through. I must say, it was brilliant maneuvering by our owner, he knew I didn't want the transfer, he knew I was buying a place, so he waited until I was between a rock and a hard place, after I had been told I was being promoted, to spring this on me.

 

I'm distraught to say the least. The one coworker who's also being transferred says he will be giving his two week notice tomarrow. So even if things go smoothly otherwise, I'm not going to be able to take extra time off to move because we're going to be short-staffed at the new location.

 

And the worst part of it is having to leave all my customers and friends behind. "L" works for the parent company, so he's staying where he's at. My buddy Mike who I just talked to this morning isn't going to switch his mailing address just to stay in touch with us. Sherrie and Carol who always bring us cookies... George the cute Microsoft guy who is always asking for recommendations for his next road trip... the list goes on and on. It feels like I'm losing a part of myself after almost five years of knowing all these people.

 

To add insult to injury, the owner chose his son-in-law, who's incompetent and the musician guy who spends more time booking gigs for his band to manage my old store over established fixtures (us). It's an insult to *my* regular customers too.

 

I almost started crying when I had to tell one of them that she wouldn't see us anymore. And shaking our UPS Guy's hand and telling him that it was a pleasure to work with him so long just killed me. The small business I *was* working for was like a family to me, and since I never had much of a family of my own, these people have meant the world to me. These people supported me through my divorce, they always let me know I was welcome and cared for.

 

I was lead to believe that I was going to be promoted at *my* store, not some other sub-par operation. I was told I'd be Paul's assistant, which led me to believe that we would be staying where we were at. I'm so devatastated by this.

 

The upside? I'm finally getting my own business cards. Whoopty-doo. I hope they come soon, I'm going to pass them along to all our customers in order for them to know where the old management got sent to.

 

I know I wanted to quit this job and move on to something else, but now I don't know what to do. I've gotta get through the rest of the month before I can give notice without risking my condo.

 

How I wanted to cry on my best friend's shoulder tonight. But when I saw him, he was in the deli with the guys... and of course, I'm not allowed to hang out there any more. So I bought a six-pack, stopped to give "L" some business cards I had planned to pass to him at work and went home.

 

Let the pity-party begin. Its not like anyone's going to give us a going-away party. I was going to take my coworkers all out for drinks after work tomarrow, but I have family obligations and I can't do it. How I'm going to miss the elderly lady who puts away our mail... she is like a surrogate grandma to me. :(

 

I guess I should just be happy I'm moving. One of my friends from the store will be just minutes away from me and I know we had plans to spend time together once my move is complete. It just feels like my entire support system is being taken away at a vulnerable time. :(

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Eh, I'm okay today. I'm slowly adjusting to the idea of working at the store I hadn't wanted to be transferred to.

 

I've spent a good deal of time with a good friend lately, so I know I've still got good people in my life.

 

I'm still going to miss my customers, but really, this is a blessing in disguise. Apparently there's a major rumor going around about my personal life and if I had stayed at the old store, I could have been fired for "fraternization" or "conflict of interest."

 

We're not allowed to socialize with customers, delivery people or salespeople. Stupid rule, but if I want to keep my job, I have to at least pretend to follow the rules.

 

Now with the transfer, the problem is no longer an issue. They can't fire me for socializing with customers, delivery people and salespeople from a different store. Eat that, corporate office! :(

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

I start working at my new store tomarrow and I'm a bit nervous. There are some quirky things over there that we didn't have to deal with at my old location. Like the one customer who is single-handedly keeping QVC in business. We have to log all of her incoming packages in a special manner because there are so many coming in at one time!

 

I have to go help my ex flea-treat his cats this afternoon. Fun, fun.

 

I just sent a really long email to one of my online friends. I guess I'm more trustworthy than I give myself credit for... she was telling me about a problem in her personal life that she's been keeping secret for a while So I wrote back and told her about my own situation and how I have also been hiding a lot from most of the people I know.

 

I only hint towards the truth here in my log. I told one of my coworkers the other day that I had decided I was happy about my transfer, "because there are things going on under the surface that nobody knows or even suspects" and that for me, the transfer is probably my saving grace. Of course, my coworker has no idea as to what I was hinting at... he's expecting there to be some major work-related problem at our old location. I'm not going to correct him because that would force me to reveal what I'm running from.

 

I'm not really running so much, as I'm relieved that I'm one step removed from a situation in my personal life that I was having to secretly face every day at my old store.

 

"The less you know, the safer you are..."

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

I hate, no, I detest my new store. I'm giving my notice next week unless someone gets the scheduling problems worked out. I am not working six day weeks every freaking week. I need some family time!

 

I get the keys to my new condo on Wednesday!

 

But... I can't get time off from work to move. The people involved in our transfer *knew* I was moving and now I have to basically do it all, move and unpack in one day, because those idiots didn't have a contingency plan, even knowing a month ago that I was moving.

 

My best friend agrees that I should quit. Why in the world am I putting up with this when I can just quit and get a job closer to my new home? As loyal as I am to my coworkers, if they mess with my family time, they can forget having me working there.

 

And I was re-invited to the deli. I guess my buddy was worried that I'd get in trouble at work for flirting with him outside of work. Now that I've been transferred, I don't see him at work anymore, so he told me he didn't care who knew that we spend a lot of time together.

 

It's going to be a weird transition with my move and all. I'm lucky I have supportive people in my life!

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

I'm taking a short break from packing. My back needs it!

 

I wanted to share part of an email my friend sent me. I sent her a bunch of stuff to donate to her local shelter after the hurricane and this just touched my heart:

 

I got all the boxes, BTW. Some came tuesday and then the last two yesterday. They were VERY excited to see ramen noodles!! It was actually kind of weird to see a voluteer squeal at the sight of them though, LOL!

 

  They loved the coupons, too, BTW They were actually THRILLED to see them. The volunteers said that so many of the evacuees would come in there and say "you know, I can't really afford diapers, but I wish I didn't have to use these b/c there are so many other people more needy than I am" or "I sure wish I could just pay a smaller amount for these and be able to buy them at the store and not use what may be needed for another family". Isn't that wonderful? One guy came in there & his wife had a baby last week.. and they had been living in a shelter. Well, he said "we had everything two weeks ago and now we have nothing"... so they gave him some supplies and he refused half of what they offered, really. He got his arms full of some baby clothing and supplies and some diapers and he said "now we have everything again"... "everything" to him consisted of baby items. That was it. JUST baby things. Isn't that so sweet? *tears* 

 

It makes me happy to hear that my small contribution is helping someone.

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

I am officially the proud owner of my very own condo! :lol:

 

I'm moving my personal stuff this weekend and the furniture is being delivered Monday, so when I get off work Monday, I can go to my new home and actually have something to sleep on! :P

 

I hate packing though, I do enough of it at work. My back's already hurting today from the truck tires and rims that I had to pack. Blech.

[Kor37 9]

Congrats on your condo!

[Lursa 0]

I am so proud of yuo for getting your own condo. I hope that someday I will own my own house someday.

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

I am so proud of yuo for getting your own condo. I hope that someday I will own my own house someday.

 

Thanks! After getting divorced in May, I'm happy that I have anything at all that's mine!

 

You will have your house someday, trust me. It's a lot of work, but it will happen!

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Well, I've been busy getting moved into my condo. I won't have internet hooked up there for another few days, so I'm writing this from my grandfather's house.

 

I really like my new place. It looks so cool with all the new furniture I picked out!

 

One of my neighbors is going to come over this weekend and help me fix a few things. My shower head sprays backwards because the connector is broken. You know, just little things that annoy me.

 

I'm happy that I have a friend just a few minutes away to come over and do "guy stuff" for me.

 

I still hate the store I got transferred to. Oh well, I've got to stick it out at least until I can get my internet and computer set up at the condo so I can start looking for a job closer to my new home. My best commute time this week was 45 minutes, worst was 1 hour, 38 minutes. Argh!

 

I should go buy some groceries. I haven't been home enough to need to cook anything, so all I have in my fridge is a six-pack of beer someone gave me as a housewarming gift! :P

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Well, seems there are ups and downs of living in a condo. One of my neighbors is moving out, so I got woken at 6am by the movers. It would have been all good and fine if it wasn't my "sleeping-in" day.

 

My buddy who was supposed to fix my shower head... well, he went AWOL. Figures he'd disappear when he promised to come help me with something.

 

And the dude who has been storing my couches finally called me. The couches will be here this evening... and of course, I have nobody to help me move them because my neighbor-friend is doing who knows what.

 

I need to call my ex and see if he wants to come lift couches. Actually I need to call him and see if him and "couch guy" are back from their trip to the mall. I really don't want to spend the whole night at home waiting on this dude. I did this last Saturday night.

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Well, it's been a long time since I've been to this site! Things were pretty crazy for a while.

 

I moved at the end of September, my grandfather passed away in October and I changed jobs in November. Then came the holiday season, which for the new job meant total insanity. I now work early mornings, 3am to 8am. The job isn't that bad except for the hard work... and the fact that the paycheck sucks. But the benefits are killer, so now I'm looking for a second job so I'll have a little play money.

 

It seems that my grandparents kept multiple copies of every family picture ever taken. I'm so happy they did, I don't think I'd have any proof that I was ever a little kid without them. In going through the basement, I found a whole trunk full of my mom's stuff that they had been keeping for me. I've been slowly working on scanning the family photos... it's going to take forever, but I want to have these backed up inc ase something happens to the originals. We have pictures of people that nobody in the family knew... it's sad that nobody wrote down who these distant relatives were.

 

My personal life is still rather odd. Not too much to say there, other than the fact that I've decided not to date. I'm still hanging around with that one guy friend and only time will tel how well that works out, but I just don't have the patience for any more men in my life right now.

 

Well, back to my scanning project. Always tons of fun!

[Kor37 9]

Nice to see you back, Kyra. I had wondered what had became of you!...

[MrPsychic 1]

Welcome back Kyra, I've missed talking to you.

[Odie 0]

Welcome Back!

[Kyra_Ashleigh 0]

Well, life is interesting as usual. I have been sick with an upper respiratory thing that turned into brinchitis over the weekend, so I missed two days of work last week and then I called in today as well. I think they might fire me.

 

If it weren't for the Seahawks going to the playoffs, nothing at all would be good news in my life right now.

 

I tried to break it off with the guy I've been seeing on Friday. That ended up as unresolved as it had been. Now he's mad at me for calling in sick today... he also thinks I'm going to get fired. I think he actually cares more than I do to be honest.

 

And I just found out that our friend from Scotland has to go home on Friday unless we can get someone to marry him *this* week! It's sad, he's such a sweet guy. My friend who is actually dating him won't marry him, "because she actually cares about him and this would be weird." I guess I kinda understand.

 

I'd do it, except I think getting married to this guy would essentially ruin any chance of me actually getting somewhere with *my* guy.

 

Why can't I just have a normal, boring life like everyone else?

 

[Kor37 9]

And I just found out that our friend from Scotland has to go home on Friday unless we can get someone to marry him *this* week!

 

I'd do it, except I think getting married to this guy would essentially ruin any chance of me actually getting somewhere with *my* guy.

 

I tried to break it off with the guy I've been seeing on Friday.

 

So whats the problem? How would you ruin any chance of getting somewhere with your guy when you are trying to break up with him? Marry the Scotsman!