DILEMA

[cptwright 1]

some of you know about my buddies kid justin, hes like my stepkid. hes a great kdi, and his friends are cool too, when i was living at ricks obviously seen them all the time, well him and his girlfriend are always missing me now. now i really like them all, and they made me laugh, and made me feel good. but justins girlfriend the other day left a not on my truck at work "i love you so much, just thought id let you know that". now that really threw me, i mean i like her, as a friend and my friends girlfriend, and anyway she is only 18, i just dont know what to do, (no i dont want anything to do with her that way), i mean do i just leave it alone and hope it goes away, or tell justin, or ask her about it. or is my sister right, she says its the way 18 to 20 year olds are, they miss me and she's just saying she loves me, and misses me, i mean she has said with justin around or on the phone with him to tell me that she loves me and misses me. i hope colleens right, and i think i should just leave it and see. what do you think?

[cptwright 1]

any thoughts from anybody on this other than a vote, i really would like some input on this as well. thanks

[fenriz275 0]

I don't know if I can offer any useful advice but I would leave it alone for now.

[VaBeachGuy 12]

I think for right now, not knowing how she meant it you should just let it go. It could be nothing and in that case if you make more of it then is needed it will only cause embarrassment. If it's not nothing and there is more intent there then it will come up again. If it does come up again then I'd take some steps at that time. But eait and see what happens.

[icanreadyourmind 0]

I would leave it go for now...mostley because you dont realy know for sure how she meant it. Plus You wouldn't want to hurt Justin with something that may be gone in a week. If he asks I wouldnt lie to him, though...just my thoughts

[stoned_vulcan 0]

let it go..

[Red Shirt Volunteer 0]

Your sister's right - just forget about it. She might just be concerned for your well-being. Different people have a different interpretation of what those words mean and what situations they're appropriate in. Telling your friend Justin is just going to cause tension between you and you probably need a friend more than anyone else at the moment.

 

But hey, I'm not you and I don't know all the details so you've gotta make the decision. If I were in your shoes, I'd just blow it off.

[nik 0]

Yeah.... Leave it alone, man. You sound like a typical guy, like me. (That's not

an insult, that's just the way it is.) Guys are pretty smart when we're thinking above the belt, but that takes some control and restraint - true wisdom.

[Red Shirt Volunteer 0]

Yeah.... Leave it alone, man.  You sound like a typical guy, like me.  (That's not

an insult, that's just the way it is.)  Guys are pretty smart when we're thinking above the belt, but that takes some control and restraint - true wisdom.

Heard that!

[Nemesis 0]

Ask her about it, because you are leaving soon and wouldn't want that on your chest with the what ifs. Just don't make it look like you think that she is "in love with you". For she is probably just saying I'll miss you.

[Red Shirt Volunteer 0]

Yeah, but if he asks, he might be saying "What if I'd never asked such a silly question?" two days later.

 

Like if I'd never asked....

 

... I wouldn't have lost a good friend.

... I wouldn't feel so embarrassed right now.

... I would have two more people in my life to help me than I do now.

 

Sometimes it's best to live with uncertainty and cope with your feelings on your own than share them with other people.

 

This isn't really related to the problem cptwright faces, but it's an example of why you should deal with your own problems.

 

I once had an idiot of a friend who cheated on his girlfriend. He wanted to come clean because his conscience was getting to him and yet still stay in a relationship with her. So he did and their relationship was never the same after that. What was he thinking? All he did was dump his own stress on her and cause both of them more problems. He shouldn't have done it in the first place (because she was a great girl), but if he really wanted to keep things going, he should've sucked it up and dealt with his problem on his own. If he'd never said anything, he might've gotten over it and they could've had a happy future, but they broke up in the end and then a few (less intelligent) friends took sides and those friendships were affected, too. If he'd just been strong in the first place (or even in the second), none of it had to happen.

Edited March 24, 2004 by Red Shirt Volunteer

[hangon 3]

I would leave it alone and see what happens but at the end of the day you must make the choice,good luck what ever you choice to do :huh:

[Jeanway 0]

CaptWright. He's your friend, she's his girlfried. You don't hurt your friends like that. That's called betrayal. If she has feelings for you, that's her problem. Your asking for a world of hurt if you try messin with her. Your concience will bother you even if he never finds out. Just tell her you don't feel that way about her. Even if you do. There are plenty of other ladies around. Your just in a very vulnerable place right now and need some love, but you can get love right here with all of us. If it's the physical stuff you need, well, anywhere else, but NOT HER. Hands Off. She was way out of line leaving that note for you. And I wouldn't tell him about this. It'll just hurt him. That's just my opinion. Come on Man, be strong.

[Nemesis 0]

You guys, he doesn't want to go out with her. He's concerned about how she feels for him. He wouldn't loose a friend if he inquired what she meant.

[Jeanway 0]

Uh, uh, just leave it alone, it doesn't matter what she meant. He'll just be asking for trouble. :huh:

[cptwright 1]

well thanks, i am gonna leaave it alone for now, and see what happens, and jeanway, i dont want anything to do with her in that manner, she and he are my friends, and a little on the young side, i was just concerned with a lot of weirdness. but i am going to leave it alone and see. hopefully it is all just nothing.

[Captain Bolivar 0]

If this girl has feelings for you and you do not want them to persist you need to offer her closure. Make it 100% clear you are not intersted and never will be. When there is hope the heart cannot move on. If you remove that hope, the heart will have no choice because it wants love in return. If it cannot get love in return it looks elsewhere. Simple principle of psychology.

 

Therefore, I did not vote. Asking her about it was the closest vote but there real answer would be to tell her about it. Tell her where you stand. Don't give her room for interpretation. It must be clear.

[Jeanway 0]

Yea, it's ' The Heart wants what it wants' :huh: You can't argue with your heart. I was just talking about this with someone yesterday. I'm not inferring that you have any feelings for her, either. Just making a comment. :huh: O.K.?

[mj 7]

Your sister is right. She misses you as a friend she cares about, but is not showing disloyalty to Justin, nor has inappropriate feeling toward you.

[headborg 1]

just file it away, leave it alone for now...say nothing to her boyfriend....remember They miss u and she's just being a good girl friend to him...she knows he misses you and is trying to make him feel better....or jealous. if she asks if you got the note...just play dumb...tell her the note must have blown it off the truck....make her be more direct...if she's really got the hots for you...you'll find out.....just be careful and don't be alone with her (unlesss you interested in something happening) understand don't allow her the opportunity to create a compromising position.

[cptwright 1]

well it all seems to have worked out just fine, we hang out, me justin and carly, and its all good. it was just the were gonna miss you kinda thing. much to my releif. thanks everyone for your input.