Luvin1stdegree

Starfleet Command
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Posts posted by Luvin1stdegree


  1. I like my phone. The conveniece of having one when you need it is wonderful. When in the car, I try to remember not to answer when it rings (although sometimes I do pick up out of habit) or I let a passenger answer for me. I do think they can be distracting but not any more so than anything else.


  2. I know it's hard to admit when you're wrong, VBG, but you can do it! I have faith in you!!!! Just take a deep breath and calmly repeat this phrase 3 times....." I'm wrong, she's right....I'm wrong, she's right....I'm wrong, she's right".

     

     

     

     

    See, now don't you feel better?

     

     

    PS...I know you're going to twist my words around to suit your crazy needs, but the truth will eventually be learned.


  3. To all the frequent flyers....

     

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys

    to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that

    need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then

    respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken,

    and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be

    said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.

     

     

     

    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by

    Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way,

    Qantas is the only major airline that

    has never had an accident.

     

    Problem: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

    Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

     

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

     

    P: Something loose in cockpit.

    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

     

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.

    S: Live bugs on back-order.

     

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

     

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

    S: Evidence removed.

     

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

     

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

    S: That's what they're there for.

     

    P: IFF inoperative.

    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

     

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.

    S: Suspect you're right.

     

    P: Number 3 engine missing.

    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

     

    P: Aircraft handles funny.

    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

     

    P: Target radar hums.

    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

     

    P: Mouse in cockpit.

    S: Cat installed.

     

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on

    something with a hammer.

    S: Took hammer away from midget.


  4. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

     

    Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not have had a very exciting youth.

     

    How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

     

    Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

     

    Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

     

    Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

     

    No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

     

    There are no new sins....the old ones just get more publicity.

     

    There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

     

    No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

     

    How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?

     

    Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

     

    One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will think he's after his job.

     

    If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

     

    Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

     

    You know you're old when you reach down to get the wrinkles out of your panty hose and realize you aren't wearing any.

     

    I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.