Women and bathrooms

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

OK, there are two questions that guys have about women and bathrooms:

 

1) Why do they always go to the bathroom in pairs

 

2) Why is leaving the toilet seat up such a big deal

 

Before I attempt to answer these questions, let me point out some mathematics about question 2. For simplicity's sake I will assume we are talking about one man - one woman households but it is fairly simple to modify the formulas to include more than one of either sex.

 

We know that, whatever women do on the toilet, they do it sitting down. Men sometimes stand.

 

I need to digress here a bit. When there is splatter, it isn't always because men miss the bowl. It's that whenever a stream of liquid hits a body of water there will always be splatter. It's simple physics. The molecules on the surface form a bond with the other surface molecules, and when these bonds are broken it results in splatter. You doubt me? Try adding water to a glass that is half full without tipping the glass. Water will get all over the place no matter how carefully you pour. That's why you pour down the inside. This isn't an option for a toilet bolted to the floor however.

 

So anyway, the woman needs the seat down all the time whereas the man needs the seat down about half the time. However, if you look at it the other way, the woman will leave the seat down after her business whereas the man will heave the seat down about half the time. This means that we can consider the seat being up about 25% of the time to not be cause for alarm.

 

So the argument that men should be considerate of women's need to have the seat down can be turned on it's head. The men have just as valid a need to have the seat up about half the time we use it. Then again men are much more forgiving than women in this area. You never hear of men complaining to other men as to the position of the toilet seat even though, among men living together, there is a 50% chance the seat will be in the sub-optimal position when another man relieves himself.

 

Now back to just why this is a much bigger issue to women than it is to men. The answer is simple: the blind flying butt leap.

 

Apparently, before entering the bathroom, women close their eyes, jump up, spin around, and when they land they are either sitting on a toilet seat or the inside of a wet toilet bowl. This is the only explanation for why the position of the toilet seat is of such importance as to justify the time it takes women to complain about the seat when it would be much easier to simply lower the seat themselves.

 

Admittedly there is a flaw in this theory for those households who have not only a toilet seat but a toilet lid. More and more households, however, are doing without the lids as it adds an unnecessary step to the process.

 

So the answer to 2) is women take blind flying butt leaps when using the toilet which necessitates the seat being down at all times.

 

What about 1)? This question has perplexed men even longer than 2), but considering the answer to 2) the answer is quite simple: One woman goes in first to make sure the toilet seat is down so the other can perform the butt leap.

[Kor37 9]

Sound,solid reasoning. Thanks for sharing that. My mind is certainly at ease now!.....

[Wishfire 2]

An ex-girlfriend told me that the reason the toilet seat should remain down is because when women wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom they are groggy and so don't pay attention to whether or not the toilet seat is down, so if it isn't down, they may fall into the toilet and get a butt-load of water.

 

In response, I pointed out that men who wake up in the middle of the night would be just as groggy, and also would not being paying attention to whether or not the toilet seat is down, plus with the added fact that mens' aims are at their worst in the middle of the night after just waking up, if the toilet seat is down we run a high risk of peeing all over the seat. What's worse, we may do so without even realizing it, and so neglect to wipe up afterwards.

 

In conclusion, the logical position for the toilet seat is up. If the seat is up, and they fall in, they get wet with toilet water. If the seat is down, and has been peed on, they get wet with urine.

 

Additionally, I'd say that a man's usage of the toilet is not quite 50/50. More like 90/10.

Edited January 2, 2009 by Wishfire

[PhaseSniper 0]

Good ,solid reasoning Van Roy.

[vgrbabe 1]

I ask that he lifts it when he goes to avoid splashes. But I don't care if he leaves it up. It's not that difficult for me to put it down myself. And as to being groggy in the middle of the night, after 5 years of being together putting the seat down is pretty much a reflex and I do it automaticaly just as it's a reflex for him now to lift it

 

when i go I put it down, when he goes he lifts it....seems fair to both of us

[Theunicornhunter 2]

You should leave both lid and seat down - to prevent the inevitable plunge of valuables into where no one wants to put their hand.

 

Jewelry, toothbrushes, hair brushes, the roll of tp that no one ever put on the holder.

 

On a more serious note - homes with toddlers should always leave the lid down to prevent accidental drowning.

 

And not just women but children can fall into the abyss when the seat left up.

 

And one more note - if you have small boys - don't get heavy designer toilet seats - and if you do - make sure they stay locked in the up position - there have been some toilet training accidents with the heavier seats falling on the boys

 

The more sensible approach I learned from a co-worker - the man and woman should each have their own bathroom - there is some wisdoem in that.

[Jack_Bauer 1]

You should leave both lid and seat down - to prevent the inevitable plunge of valuables into where no one wants to put their hand.

 

Jewelry, toothbrushes, hair brushes, the roll of tp that no one ever put on the holder.

 

On a more serious note - homes with toddlers should always leave the lid down to prevent accidental drowning.

 

And not just women but children can fall into the abyss when the seat left up.

 

And one more note - if you have small boys - don't get heavy designer toilet seats - and if you do - make sure they stay locked in the up position - there have been some toilet training accidents with the heavier seats falling on the boys

All very good points. Also, the lid of the toilet should be down when you flush. Flushing expels a misty vapour of toilet water (I can't think of any better way to describe it) in the air which then lands of anything within a few feet of the toilet (i.e. potentially everything TUH mentions in that second line). So really, it is better to put both the seat and the lid down when you flush and you might as well leave them down.

[ddillard 2]

When I was growing up my sister in law used to sabotage the toilet seat so that it would not stay up without it being held. She continued this until a few months ago when they bought a new house. This was very annoying because it required the males in the house, which outnumbered the females by 3 to 1, to have to use one hand to hold up the toilet seat, leaving only one hand for aiming, lol. We spent plenty of time fixing the seat, but gave up because she would not leave it alone. When questioned on this she always said that it is the mans responsibility to make sure that the seat is in the correct position for for a female.

 

Now what caused her to finally break the habit is that all of the men agreed that the seat would stay down and in the proper position, even while it was in use by the standing male, and that wiping the seat was to much effort on our part. Well needless to say, in the new house she has never tried to sabotage the toilet seat.

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

Interesting responses. However, I should point out that none of the female responders have actually denied taking blind flying butt leaps or that these BFBLs are the reason for going to the bathroom in pairs, so these theories still stand.

[Theunicornhunter 2]

The reason women go to the bathroom together (I've never heard of this in a home mostly just public situations)

 

1. It's a chance to chat

2. In some public situations it's a safety issue

[LouiseTrek 0]

The toilet seat should stay down, as when women approach the toilet they approach it from the rear to sit down, so it is harder to notice it is up. As men approach it from the front it's a lot easier to see it's down. For women living alone the toilet seat is always down, but for men living alone it's up and down all the time, so they should be more use to moving the toilet seat up and down.

Edited January 10, 2009 by LouiseTrek

[youbroughtheryouRiker 2]

A friend of mine on another forum wrote this... even the women laughed when they read it...

 

I have had many girlfriends complain about the seat up.

I ask the men here.................Have you ever fell into the toilet?

I am under the belief that women enter the bathroom butt first.

They do not look and thus go butt swimming.

So who here has faults?

The men and their minor droppings?

Or women too lazy to look where they park their butt?

Can't we all just get along?

[Wishfire 2]

...when women approach the toilet they approach it from the rear to sit down...

 

Um, how do they do that? The rear of the toilet is usually up against a wall.

[Theunicornhunter 2]

A friend of mine on another forum wrote this... even the women laughed when they read it...

 

I have had many girlfriends complain about the seat up.

I ask the men here.................Have you ever fell into the toilet?

I am under the belief that women enter the bathroom butt first.

They do not look and thus go butt swimming.

So who here has faults?

The men and their minor droppings?

Or women too lazy to look where they park their butt?

Can't we all just get along?

 

Not everyone apparently finds it funny - sometimes when you go in the middle of the night you don't turn on the light - who does like to turn on the light the minute you wake up?

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

2. In some public situations it's a safety issue

Yeah, those blind flying butt leaps can be dangerous without someone looking out for you.

[LouiseTrek 0]

Women only go in pairs to toilet (bathroom) in public places. Thinking about this more the advantages are you have someone to talk in quene for the toilet and if the lock is broken you have someone to hold the door shut.

[KIMIMELA 1]

You leave pubes on the seat and pee, we dont want to see it

[Wishfire 2]

You leave pubes on the seat and pee, we dont want to see it

 

Only when trimming. And that doesn't apply to pee.

[Ian Wood 1]

You leave pubes on the seat and pee, we dont want to see it

 

Only when trimming. And that doesn't apply to pee.

 

And I thought I was the only one to trim while hovering over the toilet..

[Wishfire 2]

You leave pubes on the seat and pee, we dont want to see it

 

Only when trimming. And that doesn't apply to pee.

 

And I thought I was the only one to trim while hovering over the toilet..

 

Well, I use an electric trimmer. That's not something I want near the goodies while in the shower. And I don't want to sweep the floor when I'm done.

 

Hey, um, let's not talk about this anymore.

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

Hey, let's start a topic about trimming pubic hair.

[Wishfire 2]

I use a chainsaw.

[He Who Shall Not Be Named 2]

Make up your mind, is it an electric trimmer or a chainsaw?

[Wishfire 2]

Edited January 29, 2009 by Wishfire

[Sara_Paris 0]

This thread is quite entertaining indeed :lol:

[Chataeya 0]

Only you Roy would start a post like this!!!!!!!!

[oldfan1 0]

The direction this thread turned reminds me of a movie, American Wedding. The wedding cake and trimming of the pubic area.

 

Back to the original topic, as near as I can figure out women go to the public bathroom for 3 reasons.

1) To talk about us guys.

2) To trash the other women around (like in a restaurant)

3) To encourage each other, if one of them has a case of "public toilet nerves" the other one can encourage her like a football coach in the locker room at half-time.

Edited March 22, 2009 by oldfan1