Would you if you could?

[Theunicornhunter 2]

Go back in time and change a decision.

 

I find quite often I wish I could go back to one particular day and change a decision I made....but then sometimes I wonder - would I be who I am today if I had made other choices. I assume my life would have been more successful but there is always the possibility things could have been worse.

 

As contradictory as it may sound....I think the worst piece of advice I ever received as a young person was to "never quit" or "never give up". Oh, I know those are tried and true platitudes and to an extent have some relevance.

 

Sure, you shouldn't give up on a goal or dream because things get a little tough - but that shouldn't be confused with realizing you made a "boner" . At that point - there's no reason to keep going down that road. Over the years I've had conversations with people besides myself who did just that - because you're not supposed to be a "quitter"

 

So, would you go back and change something or would you be afraid of ending up like Picard when Q sent him back - safe and going nowhere?

[APW 0]

I wonder about this sometimes.

There were choices I made in my late teens and mid-20's that were probably mistakes.At the time I thought they were the right things to do.Now,in hindsight I'm not so sure.I suppose I'd like a do over on a few of them.

But I wouldn't want to do anything that would alter anything major...such as take away some of the people in my life,I hold dear (friends,family,etc).

I found it's best not to dwell on things like this too much.

My dad used to say,"What's done is done and can't be undone,so move on."

That's pretty much my attitude.

Edited July 13, 2005 by admiralpeewee

[Ace 0]

I think if I actually had the chance, I would go back and change a few smaller moments, but I'd be afraid of altering the past to the point of changing my entire life. The major events I'd leave alone as they made me the person I am today, good and bad.

I decided a long time ago to live my life with a "Que sera, sera" mentality. Whatever will be, will be. It has helped me not to regret the little things as much, take what life gives me and move on.

[Mr.Picard 12]

Yes, I would definitely change some decisions I made concerning my personal life/relationships (or just one, it'd be hard to pick just one). It couldn't get any worse than it is now.

 

I regret some other things, too, so I'd probably change them as well. But not too many. No need for changing ANYTHING.

[VaBeachGuy 12]

It's funny, I was just laying in bed thinking about this very thing. I think this song about sums it up for me.

 

A Lot of Things Different

[Kor37 9]

I think everyone has had an occassion to look back on their life and think of what they have done right or wrong and wish they could go back and do it differently. I certainly do. I've pulled some real bonehead moves in my life that I would certainly like to revisit.

[Yillara Skye 1]

I used to always say I would never do that because it would change who I became and how everything was set and meant to be.

 

 

But now I have to admit, I would go back and change something.. I would not have been so darned shy about telling someone how I felt about them. He knew I liked him a lot, and I knew he liked me. But this time around I would not have been so shy about it all and just outright told him back when I realized my feelings towards him(versus waiting like I did, and only kind of actually saying my feelings towards him). Now he is back home and so very far away... and I have no idea if he has an email address and do not have a phone number for him, so I am stuck writing a snail mail letter to him and just hoping for the best.

 

 

The only other thing people would think I would change is the event that lead to me becoming handicapped and leaving me with a nerve condition/disease in my left arm. And that was the accident at work. I would actually not change it, well save for the fact that then I never would have been in pain like I am or even was (after my nerve block surgeries/procedures in Jan & March '04 it lessened my constant pain from a 9 down to a 2 or 3. Meaning on a scale of 0 - 10 where 10 is the worst. I was at a constant 8 or 9 over about a seven month period following the accident. That and the nerve block went a long way of lessening and almost eliminating the spasms I would get throughout my entire arm and the tremors in my fingers.)

It is something though terrible and sometimes really difficult to deal with it has changed my attitude towards a lot of things. And lead me to where I am now... and had I not been forced to retire as a coach and gone into the food service following a one year absence from the work force, I would never have met my best friend whom I was referring to above with the one event I would change(he worked at the same store I did, and we went to the same college). I actually sat for a little while and read my earliest posts and even the ones for the couple months following my injury and could see a difference in my attitude when I compared them to the ones I have made in the last year (true my friendship with my best friend also went a long way on changing my attitude even farther He does get much credit for that )

 

The third thing would be my violent car wreck in March 2004. THat I would not have minded avoiding. But again though I was put through a lot of pain (injury of soft tissue in my right leg, sciatica, severe whiplash, really bruised ribcage) it also lead me to where I am now. All I think it would have changed for an even more positive note would have been that I would have joined the dance studio and had begun competiting earlier than I did.

Edited July 13, 2005 by Yillara_Soong

[Proto-type 0]

Yes, if I could revisit some decisions I have made in my life, I would.

 

Of course it would begin an altogether different timeline but I'm not convinced that it would be a mistake to walk another path. Hypothetically, the possibility exists that on my new timeline I would still desire another chance to revisit decisions and, thus, continue this mobius loop...forever. :(

 

When Q gives Picard a 'look see' at his alternate past/future, we find ourselves in agreement with Picard that he would rather have his real future back. But, even though Q is quasi-omnipotent (the continuum does have the ability to limit his powers) and can play with time/timelines...are we so sure that there were not other parrallel timelines that he could have shown Jean-Luc? Timelines that could have been altered by the slightest change in happenstance on any given day? It makes me wonder if it's all so cut and dry, black and white as the writers would have us believe. :(

Edited July 19, 2005 by Proto-type

[Validus 0]

I can think of a few thousand decisions I'd do differently if going back in time was an option. I'll state just the top five and leave it at that.

 

1. I'd avoid ever meeting and falling in love with Laura Case, my hateful ex-wife.

 

2. I'd stay in college rather then join the Navy.

 

3. I'd keep walking rather then talking to Amy Darney, who turned out to be a complete head-case.

 

4. I'd pay more attention when the moment comes that I had my first car accident and thus avoid it.

 

5. I'd arrive 10 minutes early at the Mall on the day that Sharon Mcfarlane was murdered and detain her somehow just long enough for the gunman to be seen and thus save her life.

[Data 0]

This thread makes me think of the TNG episode where Q gives Picard a chance to alter his past so he would have his real heart back. The outcome was not what Picard wanted. So he requested it not be changed.

 

I look back at some of my questionable decisions. I do not think I would change any of them. Because if I did, my life would not of been as interesting and I would not of learned anything. Also, I may of not met some of the friends I have today.

[mj 7]

Yes, I would change things in such a way that I would not have had to make some decisions which I later regretted and still regret.

 

The only advantage of the situations is that it has given me empathy with many people I advise informally.

 

Sometimes I wish I had dropped out of grad school and gotten to know the guy my Dad had set me up with. He turned out to be a very good husband ( and father) and provider for another wiser woman. And he was good looking. What was I thinking???

[Theunicornhunter 2]

Sometimes I wish I had dropped out of grad school and gotten to know the guy my Dad had set me up with. He turned out to be a very good husband ( and father)  and provider for another wiser woman. And he was good looking. What was I thinking???

That's a definite "what if" but I wonder if you had chosen that path you would sometimes find yourself wishing you had finished school. It's one of those things you'll never know.

[zipkirk1966 0]

I would not change a thing I'm very proud of what I have done and glad at where I am so no I would not change anything. I too thought about that and if I did change anything I think I would not be where I am now. OH and about the Never quite I beleive in that and believe in myself I see too many people that do not believe in themself and put a bullet in there head anyway a very good question to ask and I'm glad to be on this board with all of you.

 

Brian

[Odie 0]

I won't change anything in my past. All what I have done in the sums up the person I am now. It doesn't matter if its big or small. There are lots of small events that do lead up to large ones. Only changing the smaller ones will change the large one and it might be for the best results that you may want to happen.

[LordOfTheBorg 1]

I dont know... if i changed something in my past, would i as a person change as well? Even thought i've made a lot of stupid decisions, they've made me to be the person i am today.. which i am more or less happy with! :lol: :P

[Madame Butterfly 0]

Hmmmmmm, this is a very deep question UH.

 

When I was younger I would have changed a few things. The bullying, the way my parents reacted to my brothers drug use, the application of my efforts at particular things in life.

 

 

Now that I'm older, I realized that I had to experience those things to become who I am today.

 

Now I wish for different way of how I handled things.

 

I wish I had been more confident in certain areas of my life, loved myself more, been more determined at a younger age.

 

The greatest lesson of my life has been pleasing others won't bring you happiness.

You must do what is best for you, and if they aren't happy with your decisions, they need to figure out why.

 

You are the only person who knows what is right for you.

[Theunicornhunter 2]

Madame Butterfly Posted Today, 02:42 PM

I wish I had been more confident in certain areas of my life, loved myself more, been more determined at a younger age

 

Yes, I wish that as well. And there are all sorts of regrets I have about my life - but many of them were situations I could not change. In my own life I'm thinking of a more specifc example - the decision to go to graduate school. It was not a financially wise decision.

Edited July 24, 2005 by TheUnicornHunter

[Madame Butterfly 0]

There is a story of a river that erases our memory before we come to earth.

 

And we choose all the good and touch lessons of life before we walk through this river.

 

I honestly have no regrets about alot of the "happenings" in my life, because I'm in charge of my life now, not those happenings.

[Theunicornhunter 2]

Is the story of the river part of a myth or philosophical/religious belief? I'd like to hear more about it.

 

When I was younger I had "no regrets" either. But I am genuinely sad that I never had children - and it wasn't "my" decision that things worked out that way. Of course, I'm a great free babysitter for other relatives but it isn't the same.

[Madame Butterfly 0]

I believe it's religious. I have the book with this story of this in another part of the house.

 

I'll retrieve it later and type it out for you here, if you'd like to read it. :P

[Madame Butterfly 0]

In the book "Sacred Contracts" by Caroline Myss, page 57, hardbound American edition.

 

Click For Spoiler

In book 10 of The Republic, Plato gives a rich, detailed description of the stages of entry through which a soul must go before incarnationg on earth.

 

Some scholaras believe that Plato was simply using what is known as the myth of Er, which closes  The Republic, as a poetic metaphon to back up his argument for living a virtuous life.  Yet the myth actually bears a striking resemblance to reports of contemporary people who have had near death experiences or who have recalled disembodied spiritual experiences that they believe happened before their birth.

 

The Er of Plato's tale was a Greek solider who return to consciousness some twelve days after he appeared to have died on the battlefield.  Awakening on his own funeral pyre Er tells a remarkable tale of what he witnessed during the time he was suspended between life and death.

 

As Plato tells the story through the voice of Socrates, Er found himself in a king of way station between heaven and earth, where souls were passing from one plane to the other.  The dead were waiting to be judged and assigned to their reward or punishment, while other souls prepared for their journey to earth.  In one great meadow, souls awaiting their return to earth went before the three Fates: Clotho, who spins the thread of life; Lachesis, who determines it's length, and Atropos, who cuts it off.

 

Plato then writes:

 

When Er and the spirits arrived, their duty was to go at once to Lachesis, but first of all there came a prophet who arranged them in order, then he took from the knees of Lachesis lots and smaples of lives, and having mounted a high pulpit, spoke as follows: "here the word of Lachesis, the daughter of Necessity.  Mortal souls, behold a new cycle of life and morality.  Your genius will not be alloted to you, buy you will choose your genius, and let him who draws the first lot have the first choice, and the life which he chooses shall be his destiny."

 

After this prophet makes his announcement, he lays out many possible life scenerios among the souls waiting to incarnate and advises them to choose from these "sample  of lives".  Plato informs us that "there were many more lives than the souls present, and they were of all sorts.  There were lives of every animal and of man in every condition",  including tyrants.

 

"and there were lives of famous men, some who were famous for their form and beauty as well as for their strength and success in games, or again, for their birth and the qualitites of their ancestors: and some who were the reverse of famous for the opposite qualities.  And of women likewise: there was not, however, and definite character in them, because the soul, when choosing a new life, must of necessity become different.  But there was every other quality and they all mingled with one another, and also with elements of wealth and poverty, and disease and health and there were mean states also."

 

Plato makes it clear that while some of those choosing their lot in lfe were newly minted souls from heaven, many others had lived before, and their choices were influenced by previous lives.  Odysseus, for example, was so disenchanted about ambition from his endless triving that he opted for the life of a "private man who had no cares".

 

When all the souls had chosen their lives according to their lots, they went before Lachiesis.  And she sent with each, as the guardian of his life and the fulfiller of his choice, the genius that had been chosen... Lachesis leads the soul to the second of the three personifications of destiny, Klotho, Under her hand and her turning of the spindle, the destiny of the chosen lot is ratified.  Then the genius again led the soul to the spinning of Atropos, to make the web of its destiny irreversible.  And then without a backward glance, the soul passes beneath the thrown of Necessity and to the Plain of Forgetfulness.  A barren waste with no trees or vegetation, and then they were required to drink from the River of Unmindfulness.  As they drank, they forgot everything that had just transpired.

[Blue 0]

God yes, I wished I'd actually worked hard at school this year.. In fact, I wish I'd worked AT ALL!! I am currently in my first year of GCSE's. See but the thing is, all thru my school life untill this point, I have been.. well.. perfect, blah blah blah, and Is till sit there and you know, my friends have this little song about " every question" lol. but seirously no one has ever actually cared! Like when I say to somone ( and trust me its not often) can you just read through this and tell me what you think, they'll go oh thats nice, its good honest. and I sit there thinking, shut the hell up. But now I feel like a complete idiot, since altho I am still getting C's and stuff after soing literally no work. I know if i'd have done what I'd normally done they'd all be A*'s. :| !

[Gary Phaserman 0]

There are alot of things I could have done alot different, but Those decisions, and their consequences, have made me who I am today, and I like who I am. I made unwise decisions, but I learned from them (it may have taken me a few tries with certain things) I think about the only thing I might change is the one time I got robbed while working and decided to fight...I've got a pair of scars to remind me of it every morning when I take a shower. That's about the only thing I might change.