Trek or Love?

[ddillard 2]

I know this is kind of strange but it's late and I am curious. A friend of mine was just in this situation. I will explain later how she dealt with the situation.

 

I would tell them goodbye, because if they cannot accept me for who I am and the things I enjoy, I do not need them in my life.

[RikerChick 5]

Tell them goodbye. A person who insists that you change who you are for them doesn't love you, they love the person they want you to be. Did that make sense?

[~Crims~ 0]

Well, assuming that any given person in question is not obsessed to the point that it adversley affects a relationship, then you're better off without the significant other in question if he/she can't even let you watch a television show or post on forums (whatever).

[Stelfan 0]

If there was some strange illness that killed my girlfriend if I watched Star Trek I would of course give it up, but if she just wants to change who I am then I would say Good Bye.

[trekbabe 0]

It would be goodbye i'm afraid. I watch at least one episode of Trek every day, so i think it is a case of COULDN'T rather than wouldn't give it up for me.

[Guest Ktrek]

I voted "give up Trek". I know I'm in the minority here but my vote is based on where I am at in my relationship with my wife. If I was only still dating my wife and she demanded I give up Trek my response would be different. However, I love my wife enough that if she felt that my love for Trek was coming between us, because of obsessing or something, then I would have to choose my wife over Trek. No TV show is worth losing my companion over no matter how much it means to me.

 

I am a Christian and if there is one thing Christianity has taught me is "self-sacrifice". Christ said "no greater love has a man than this..to lay down his life for his friend". How much more for your wife. He also said "husbands love your wife EVEN AS Christ loved the Church and GAVE Himself for it". Marriage to me means the giving of myself to the benefit of my wife. I am fortunate that my wife loves Star Trek also so I am not likely to have to make this decision but love would demand it of me if it came around.

 

However, if I was only dating someone and that person did not approve of things I enjoy I would be looking for another relationship. I cannot change my basic personality and I would want someone who accepts me for who I am, NOT for who they think I should be or could be.

 

Ktrek

[bevfanK 0]

I agree with Rikerchicks statement...

[Takara_Soong 4]

I voted goodbye too. My hypothetical significant other would have known before becoming my significant other where Trek fits in my life so to demand that I give up something like Trek - no way!!!

 

Give in to that demand, next thing you know you won't be allowed to go out to visit friends, etc.

[Captain Jean-Luc Picard 1]

I vote: Give up Trek

 

Knowing me and the way things go in my life, she'd be really touched and let me watch Trek as a result.

 

Editted to add:

I do not believe that one's "significant other" would ask you to stop watching Star Trek. I mean, it's a tv show. However, if she felt it was a threat to her faith, then I respect her asking you to stop watching Trek. If she thinks your obsessing over a tv show, she may see that as unhealthy, another good reason to ask one to stop watching Trek.

 

Me, I just buy the season sets and movies, soundtracks, a few games, watch the current series, and come here. That's the extent of my fanship, so I don't think she'd mind. She might get mad at me for staying up late on the board though! :)

[ddillard 2]

Okay, now for how the friend of mine handled ths situation. She had been told by her soon to be husband that she had to make the choice. The reason that the ultimatum was given was because he wanted to go out and do the whole partying with friends thing more often, and she preferred to stay home and watch Trek and only go out occasionally. She answered the demand by stating that she would give up Trek if he would give up parting, then they could both sit down and find something that they both enjoyed doing.

 

Well, he did not like the idea of not partying, so the two ended up parting ways.

[bevfanK 0]

that's sad...

[ddillard 2]

that's sad...

Yes, it is. But we all thought they were together for the wrong reasons anyway. It seemed that they were together more because her self esteem problems than love. She truly loved him, but they did not have much in common.

[bevfanK 0]

hmm well every thing happens for a reason..

[adm. stickler 0]

GOOD BYE talk to the hand talk to the palm kiss my pitootie and poof your gone i just scared my self :) :)

[Theunicornhunter 2]

Okay, now for how the friend of mine handled ths situation.  She had been told by her soon to be husband that she had to make the choice.  The reason that the ultimatum was given was because he wanted to go out and do the whole partying with friends thing more often, and she preferred to stay home and watch Trek and only go out occasionally.  She answered the demand by stating that she would give up Trek if he would give up parting, then they could both sit down and find something that they both enjoyed doing. 

 

Well, he did not like the idea of not partying, so the two ended up parting ways.

Maybe your friend knew it wasn't right and the star trek issue just brought it all to the surface. It may seem sad but a divorce a couple of years from now would be much sadder.

 

I never had someone I dated tell me to give up star trek - in fact I've found more often it was something we could share. I even went to a convention on a date. However, when I was younger getting ready to go away to college, I once had a guy tell me "my place was to be a wife and mother and I didn't need a college education for that." I really enjoyed my time at college.

[RikerChick 5]

However, when I was younger getting ready to go away to college, I once had a guy tell me "my place was to be a wife and mother and I didn't need a college education for that."

People like that just make me sick.

[cassidy 0]

TELL THEM GOODBYE AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE

[ddillard 2]

I can't stand people like that. I think that everyone is equal no matter what their sex, race or religion, and that they all deserve to have a good education. I only wish I had been financially able to complete college, but oh well I will get back someday.

[trekkergirl220 0]

GOODBYE!

[Lessa_Soong 0]

Sorry, Charlie. You're out of here!

But I'm Lucky. It was Trek that actually get me noticed (and my legs ) by my hubbie!

[Captain Jean-Luc Picard 1]

So, if you could pick a tv show or the love of your life, you'd pick a tv show?

[RikerChick 5]

So, if you could pick a tv show or the love of your life, you'd pick a tv show?

The love of my life would (and does) accept me for who I am the same way I accept him for who he is.

[Captain Jean-Luc Picard 1]

So, if you could pick a tv show or the love of your life, you'd pick a tv show?

The love of my life would (and does) accept me for who I am the same way I accept him for who he is.

I fully agree, but if your significant other gave the ultimatume of him/her or Star Trek, wouldn't she have to have a good reason? Personally, I'd have to know why before making a decission.

[RikerChick 5]

So, if you could pick a tv show or the love of your life, you'd pick a tv show?

The love of my life would (and does) accept me for who I am the same way I accept him for who he is.

I fully agree, but if your significant other gave the ultimatume of him/her or Star Trek, wouldn't she have to have a good reason? Personally, I'd have to know why before making a decission.

I was looking at this question from a dating stand point. I can't imagine my husband would ever do that. If he did I'd probably tell him I'll give up ST if he gives up the Raiders. That would end that real quick. :(

[cassidy 0]

Sorry, Charlie. You're out of here!

But I'm Lucky. It was Trek that actually get me noticed (and my legs  ) by my hubbie!

how on earth did trek get u noticed? i find it's usually a turn off for people

[Takara_Soong 4]

So, if you could pick a tv show or the love of your life, you'd pick a tv show?

The love of my life would (and does) accept me for who I am the same way I accept him for who he is.

I fully agree, but if your significant other gave the ultimatume of him/her or Star Trek, wouldn't she have to have a good reason? Personally, I'd have to know why before making a decission.

I was looking at this question from a dating stand point. I can't imagine my husband would ever do that. If he did I'd probably tell him I'll give up ST if he gives up the Raiders. That would end that real quick. :(

Even from a married standpoint, I would have concerns about a demand like that. A spouse needs to love you for who you are and if Trek is part of who you are he/she must accept that part of you. A demand like that could be an indication of a controlling personality. Trek would be the first demand but it wouldn't be the last. Besides there are a heck of a lot worse things to be than a Trekkie. If that's the biggest problem a spouse has with you they should count their blessings.

[Lessa_Soong 0]

Sorry, Charlie. You're out of here!

But I'm Lucky. It was Trek that actually get me noticed (and my legs  ) by my hubbie!

how on earth did trek get u noticed? i find it's usually a turn off for people

He was interested, but he saw me go by holding a Star Trek novel and that was the clincher. He was shocked as heck to see a girl who read Trek and i think it was teh deciding factor for him. After that, he was in my face and turned on the charm to full. I even called him "warp speed man", cuz i thought he was moving things too fast. :(

 

So you see, this would never happen to me.

[thayln 0]

Hasta la vista baby! One has to have priorities in one's life. :devil:

 

In all seriousness, if you're with someone who is so insecure as to feel threatened by a TV show, RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

You'll never be able to fill that gaping hole in their soul, no matter what you do or concede.

 

The love of Science Fiction is one of the things that I and my husband share. And now, we are corupting another generation, as well. Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

 

My love does nag me a little about getting enough sleep, since I joined this board. :) :(

[Lessa_Soong 0]

I have been waiting for mine to nag at me, but so far all i have heard is "go talk to Takara." So far so good!

[Captain Jean-Luc Picard 1]

Has no one thought to ask "why" would the significant other presented this ultimatum, and then tried to figure out which to choose?