nik

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Posts posted by nik

  4. Posted · Edited by nik

    No your NOT!! When you go for Twinkies and Mountain Dew and a couple Porn Magazines, you don't make ANY mistakes, do you? :hug:

    I'm not sure. (I haven't bought any of those items since high school.) Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we have a visual image in our heads of what we need. Getting back to the "hunting" theory, we have our "sights" set on that.

    Of course, that doesn't explain how we can screw up when we have a list.....

    ...... unless we don't read the list!

  7. Posted

    EXCUSES, EXCUSES.  I tackled him later and as I had him on the floor in a choke hold, I got the truth out of him.  He said he does stuff badly on purpose so I won't ask him again :hug: Talk about " Faking IT"  :hug: New definition Ladies. :hug:

    Yes, we do that too. However, we ARE also bad shoppers. We don't really have to TRY to shop badly. We know we'll have to sleep on the couch for it, but we actually don't mind. It's like camping!

  8. Posted

    Here's my theory, and it's JUST A THEORY:

     

    I think it's evolutionary. Men are hunters. When we go to the store, we don't just shop for milk, bread, and cheese. We HUNT for it! We also

    shoot anything else that gets in the way! Then we get home and display our prizes in an effort to establish ourselves as the "alpha male" so we can attract a suitable mate. That's also why many men hate shopping. While women don't mind browsing around for a sweater, shoes, or whatever, men can't stand the idea of just standing there with all this "prey" in plain sight. In the backs of our minds, we're frantically thinking, "Take the shot! It's going to get away! Kill it! Kill it now!"

     

    Try this observation. Go to the store and watch the shoppers. I've noticed that men typically walk faster, make beelines, and pick up the first thing they find. Sometimes they don't even use carts. They just load up their arms and race for the checkout. Women, on the other hand are a bit more considerate. They look for the best fruits, take their time, and have a few manners. Am I right?

  9. Posted

    ...you have the Star Wars episode III on dvd and it stars Jar Jar Binks singing 2 1/2 hours worth of showtunes while wearing a slinky red dress. :hug:

     

    I wish that I could figure out what that stardate stuff means exactly...

    You are magically endowed with the knowledge that stardates are just randomly chosen sequences of numbers.

     

    I sure wish I complete the goals I've set for myself today while still having time for a

    nice long bike ride.

  21. Posted

    Nik, relaxing in a real water shower aboard the Elusive is suddenly beamed away. He rematerializes on the bridge of what he immediately recognizes as an obsolete Klingon D-7 battlecruiser. There appears to be a raucous party going on. A female Catian glimpses Nik in his dripping nakedness, purrs sensually, and begins swaggering his way. Nik, considering that he likes his back without deep scratch marks, decides to quickly find the nearest replicator, which - due to a computer malfunction - is currently only producing old-style Federation female uniforms. Deciding that it's better than nothing, he puts on the miniskirt, black tights, and boots. Glancing down, he makes a mental note to get his chest waxed when he returns to the Elusive. He joins the party, grabbing a slice of pizza, and sits down at the weapons console, which currently indicates that the torpedo bays are currently offline as they are being used by humanoids for procreative purposes.

  24. Posted

    YOU DO BUT HAVE SUDDENLY BEEN STRICKEN WITH AMNESIA AND DON'T KNOW WHO THE H*LL HE IS.

     

     

     

    I wish the phone company would stop trying to screw me over. <_<

    Like magic, the phone company stops screwing you OVER, and begins begins screwing you UNDER.

     

    I sure wish I can get some useful data out of this experiment tomorrow!

  25. Posted

    On the shores of the small island, next to the small oriental vessel, several black-clad ninja can be seen crouching near what appears to be long firebrands of the east. The stick several in the sand, running back to the ship for more. Behind them walks a relatively short, but very muscular samurai. He wears a black-lacquered breastplate with plating on his thighs, calves, and left arm. His right arm is bare, revealing a green dragon tattoo which spirals about his arm from his shoulder to his hand. Strapped to his left side are a long katana and the shorter wakazashi of the far east. His domed helmet is lacquered black with a gold crescent decoration at the front. His face is obscured by a black bamboo mask.

     

    With the line of firebrands set up, the samurai shouts an order.

     

    “Hajimete!” His voice is deep and resonant. The ninja at the end of the line strikes a single fuse, and the flare of the fuse can be seen as it travels to each of the small missiles stuck in the sand.

     

    The fireworks ignite and take off, leaving colored trails as they fly. Some fly between Headborg’s ship and the French vessels, exploding into spiraling sparks and leaving thick clouds of red and green smoke. Some fly straight for the French ships, igniting their sails as they find their marks. Others fly into the air above the ships, raining sparks and hot ashes onto the sailors.

     

    After the flaming spectacle, the samurai leaps into the small boat on shore. Several of the ninja draw short-swords, cutting the mooring lines. They push the boat into the water, and her six triangular sails are hoisted on rigid frames. She leans into the wind and glides quickly and smoothly to a single French vessel nearing the Bonaventure. At half-a-furlong, several of the ninja leap into the water, unnoticed in the confusion as the oriental vessel releases another barrage of firebrands.

     

    Minutes later, nine ninja can be seen clamoring up the sides of the near French vessel. Leaping aboard, they release a handful of stars into the eye sockets of nearby crewmembers. Drawing swords, they quickly engage in a deft and deadly dance with the French crew. Three leap to the helm, where the captain stands. In a single motion, his throat is slit, and the helmsman is run through. Amidships, the ninja engage the crew with swift kick to the throats. Several pistols are drawn, only to be kicked aside in the melee.

     

    In minutes, the deck of the French vessel is stained with blood, and several of her members lie dead or dying. Eight ninja leap back into the water, swimming back to the mysterious vessel of the east. The ninth remains aboard the French vessel, where he sets a small smoking sphere. He leaps into the water. Seconds later, the French vessel explodes in a shower of flame. Her splintered wood rains from the sky as the ninth ninja boards the vessel of the east.

     

    The vessel turns and slowly drifts into the thick green smoke hanging over the water and shielding the Bonaventure from the French fleet. As the mysterious vessel fades into the smoke, the samurai standing astern bows quickly to the Bonaventure.