nik

You f***ing, brown-nosing, a** licking, *******ing, ****weed of a ****licking,

****-for-brains, ********, ****-for-a-head, ******-lipped, son-of-a red****

*****nosed *****faced *****less baboon!

{ahhhhhhhhh!}

After you park my car, can you mop that up!

(Note: This one is attributed to Admiral Jeanway and Commodore Fenriz. Thank you, sirs!)

From your church minister:

F*** You! It's in the Bible!

How did that get in my mouth?

Naked! Of course I'm naked. It's "casual Friday."

OK! OK! I'll make you a deal! You get to lick the floors in the women's bathroom, and I get the MEN'S bathroom, and we'll switch every Sunday.

Excuse me, bartender? Can I get a urine sample on the rocks?

We confer upon Dr. Sylvester Stallone this honorary Ph.D. in nuclear physics!

Hey warden! Can I share a cell with that naked lunatic on the end?

Ok, you get ready with the hot poker, and I'll bend over!

Does this dog's butt smell bad to you?

Hey! Put it in your pants! Don't worry, it won't bite!

Happy Fourth of July Mr. bin Laden!

Look what I just found in my nose! Who wants a taste first?

Thank you for shopping at The Gap! For an additional $10, you can buy the security video of yourself in the dressing room.

Yes, honey, that does indeed make your butt look fat.

Excuse me... can you help me shave myself. There's a spot I can't quite reach......

Can I borrow that Kleenex when you're done with it?

Hey! Let me get a look at that before you flush it!

Hey, boss! Your daughter sure is hot!

Grandma, you really need to drink more.

Do you have any bicycles WITHOUT seats?

Captain Noonan

Captain Jack B. Nymble

Like magic, little blue elves arrive at your door and leave elegantly wrapped pieces of durfwad on your porch.

I wish that I see that homeless guy again.

Awwww, don't worry about it! I never studied!

Like magic, you are instantly endowed with 1 million dollars of the Confederate States of America!

I wish this dang sinus headache would go away!