Luvin1stdegree

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then

what was the purpose of the bath?

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping

cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'?

Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to the top you always think there's still one more step?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when

we complained about the heat?

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?

Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people remembering the same things right?

Is the real reason women live longer than men because they don't have to live with women?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you the first time?

applesauce

Angels Among Us (Alabama)

apple strudel

Orin

I hope you're right! But then, you usually are, aren't you. Why should I even doubt where that trophy will be????

LOL....I just have to tell you that this was probably THE hardest game for me to ever watch. Of course my loyalties lie with the Pack but I know how badly you want your birds to fly to Texas. As disappointed as I am for my team, I am equally excited for you. As I have told you in private conversations, since the Packer's season is finished, I will now root for the Eagles with the same intensity usually reserved for my guys. By the way, I was at a family gathering to watch the game today. There were 11 people there and I have convinced 7 of them to back the Eagles for your sake. Good luck to McNabb and his team....I truly hope to see them bringing home the trophy.

That was me with my brothers, 25 or so years ago.

I think pretty much everyone knows where I stand on this one.

As my stepfather used to say...I'm young enough to cause trouble, old enough to know better!

Congrats to you both.

25 THINGS YOU WILL LEARN

************************

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in

a garage makes you a car.

4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you definitely need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

I remember playing Hide and Seek as a kid. The neighborhood we lived in had about 5 families with kids so after dark (back when it was safe to let the kids outside that late) all the kids in the neighborhood would get together and play games by streetlight. I know my older brothers hated having to take me out with them. I'm sure I slowed them down alot! Since most of the kids were boys and closer in ages to my brothers, I was quite a pain for them. Our favorite game was H&S....we'd all gather in the middle of the road and decide who was "it" first. Then the rest of us would run and hide anywhere within the bounderies of the yards of the 5 houses. At any given time, there would be no less than 10 or 12 kids running through the night. It was so much more fun than playing during the day. We always remembered to wear dark clothing so we could hide better. What I wouldn't give to be a kid again.

Judging from these past few weeks, I think the Packers have re-earned their nickname-"The Heart Attack Pack".  Now, please don't take that comment wrong, this has NOTHING to do with the tragic death of Irv Favre.  The Packers earned that nickname years ago when most of their important games went right down to the wire and kept Packer fans (like me) sitting on the edge of their seats biting their nails until the game was won by the Pack at the last possible second..kind of like Al Harris' interception!  GO PACK!!!

LMAO...I had forgotten about that nickname! Thanks for the reminder.

Do you remember a time when...........

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?

Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?

It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?

Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?

A foot of snow was a dream come Saturday

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30_minute commercials for action figures?

"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?

War was a card game?

Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?

Water balloons were the ultimate weapon? If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!!

I remember one particular episode where Mac fell asleep and had a dream that took him back in time to the 1800's. I laughed so hard when he wandered into this dusty old saloon that was full of rough and tough cowboys ready for a fight. Good ole Mac saunters up to the bar and orders himself a tall glass of milk! LOL...funny stuff.

It's a little vague for me too; at least I remember liking the eps I saw.

 

I can find out for myself, but right-off can anyone give me the run-years of the show?

I could be wrong, but I believe it ran from '85 through '92. I know for certain it was on 7 seasons.

I didn't write this Amy, but thought you might get a kick out of it:

 

http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/sports/football/7635184.htm

 

Bring it on, Cheeseheads!

We love Brett, hate the Packers

By WILLIAM BUNCH

bunchw@phillynews.com

 

LOVE the man. Hate the town.

 

OK, let's drop the atty-tude for about 10 seconds, and give some props to Green Bay Packers' QB Brett Favre. All of America - yes, even us - loves the spunk of this future Hall of Famer and his Hollywood-ready saga.

 

It was Favre - in case you've been living in a spider hole outside of Mosul recently - who took the field 24 hours after learning that his mentor father had died of a heart attack, and had the game of his life, launching an improbable playoff drive that seems guided by a higher power.

 

And so, truth be told, we spent the last week praying that we'd be sitting here last night writing a hater's guide to Dallas (Michael Irvin, Jerry Jones, Lee Harvey Oswald) or Seattle (Microsoft and Starbucks - too easy!) - anybody but Green Bay.

 

But then we remembered something else from Green Bay, that "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." And in the National Football League, to win on Sunday is to hate.

 

And so we hate Green Bay.

 

Vince Lombardi would have wanted it that way.

 

It's not like it's hard to find reasons.

 

It's too small

 

Let's be honest here. Green Bay is the nation's 69th-largest TV market, and we were stunned to learn it was even that large.

 

Green Bay, Wis., doesn't deserve a professional sports franchise any more than our own beloved neighborhood of Frankford or Pottsville or Pottstown or wherever the heck that place is that Gov. Rendell was trying to get the 1925 NFL title restored when he was supposed to be passing the state budget.

 

So why do 70,000 cheese-headed folks - 70 percent of the town (don't call it a city - pul-leeez) - show up at Lambeau Field on any given Sunday? Why has pro football succeeded here and failed in places with a few more folks, like, say, Los Angeles?

 

It's not because the people are made of hearty midwestern stock. It's because THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE TO DO THERE!!!

 

Well, actually, there's one other thing to do in Green Bay - drink. Under the heading of "Entertainment," the Green Bay Press-Gazette's Web site doesn't have "Nightlife" but there's a massive section for "Taverns" - as if there's a difference between the Buck Stop Inn and the creatively named Watering Hole Tavern.

 

You're certainly better off drinking than eating. The "Restaurant" section lists all nine of Green Bay's Taco Bells under the heading "ethnic."

 

Splinter-free!

 

Indeed, there's only one other thing besides football that Green Bay is famous for. We'll give you a hint: It's still manufactured here by the Quilted Northern division of Georgia-Pacific, whose slogan is: "We Make the Things That Make You Feel at Home."

 

That's a polite way of saying: "We Make Toilet Paper!"

 

Yes, Green Bay actually bills itself as "the toilet paper capital of the world," although for some reason Green Bay's Web site is called titletown.org and not worldtoiletpapercapital.org.

 

I guess we should be grateful, since Green Bay claims that Quilted Northern made the first TP that was "splinter free." But then the Packers won't be needing Quilted Northern after they get wiped by the Eagles at the Linc this Sunday.

 

No Warren Buffets here

 

There's a sucker born every minute - in Green Bay. Somehow, civic leaders duped citizens into owning the team without reaping any benefits. A total of 4,748,910 shares is owned by 111,507 stockholders - none of whom receives any dividend on the initial investment despite the millions of dollars of TV cash that's pumped into the franchise every year.

 

And you thought Sun Microsystems was a bad investment!

 

Reggie, what happened?

 

But then there's something about wind chills of minus-40 that can make people act a little loopy. Consider all-time NFL sack leader Reggie White, who was beloved during his seven seasons with the Eagles for his ferocity on the field as well as his godliness off field.

 

Then he goes and signs a $17 million deal with the Packers, and the next you know he's standing before the Wisconsin Legislature blasting gays for comparing their plight to that of blacks and adding: "We allow rampant sin, including homosexuality and lying, and because it has run rampant in our nation, our nation is in the condition it is today."

 

White was promptly dropped as pitchman for Campbell's - which probably spared him from a career-threatening injury like those suffered by every other Chunky Soup endorser.

 

Holier than thou

 

The funny thing is that if White wanted to find "rampant sin," he needed only to look down the row of lockers at the Packers' All-Star tight end, Mark Chmura. The ultra-conservative Chmura refused to go to Bill Clinton's White House with his Super Bowl winning squad in 1997 and said later of the Monica Lewinsky affair: "I look like a genius now. I knew it all along."

 

But in 2000, Chmura - who was 31 at the time - didn't look like much of a genius when he was charged with raping his family's 17-year-old babysitter in a bathroom at a hot-tub-soaked party after Waukesha Catholic Memorial High School's spring prom.

 

Chmura was acquitted but conceded his "immature" behavior was "something a married man shouldn't do."

 

We knew it all along.

 

Frozen tundra, hah!

 

Most of the Green Bay football myth is exactly that - myth. Take Lambeau Field's legendary "frozen tundra," a clever turn-of-phrase phrase made famous by - you guessed it - a Philadelphian, legendary NFL Films' voice John Facenda.

 

It turns out that not only is the playing field at Lambeau not tundra (duh), it's not even frozen! Alleged tough guy Lombardi had electric heating coils installed underneath so players like pretty boy Paul Hornung wouldn't get hurt. And the Packers practice indoors for most of the season.

 

What a bunch of wimps.

 

St. Vince

 

Even Lombardi himself wasn't really all that. Yeah, yeah, five NFL titles, never had a losing season, rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike. But as you might guess for someone who thought winning was "the only thing," there were times when expediency won out - a cheating scandal when he was assistant coach at Army, and when he welcomed back prodigal son Hornung after the Packers star was suspended in 1963 for betting on Green Bay. (Ask Pete Rose what he thinks of that.)

 

And he did have losing seasons on the playing field of life, where his total devotion to football caused him to ignore his wife's growing drinking problem and to rarely be there for his kids.

 

So if you're scared about facing the vaunted "Pack" on Sunday, just remember the biggest loss of Lombardi's coaching career. It came in 1960.

 

At Franklin Field, in the NFL championship game.

 

17-13, Eagles.

 

Godspeed, Brett Favre. And good luck... next year.

So Philadelphia doesn't like Green Bay, huh? What do I care, I don't live there. LOL...just leave my Brett alone!!! See ya Sunday....

I'll give you that. It is getting out of hand. I'm still excited about seeing the Pack go up against your Eagles again, though.

I love Mac! He is my all-time tv hero. He'd be the perfect man if only he would grow a beard!! LMAO

dove chocolate

Marty

I haven't decided if I will rent the movie or not. The story sounds interesting but I can't stand Russell Crowe.

dill pickles

Natasha