Lollypop

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Posts posted by Lollypop


  1. DAMN CANADIANS

     

    Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation

    between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of

    Newfoundland in October 1995.

     

    The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of

    Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

     

    US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a

    collision.

     

    CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid

    a collision.

     

    US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your

    course.

     

    CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

     

    US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP

    OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

     

    CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.


  2. Actual Newspaper Headlines

     

    Click for Spoiler:

    1.Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

     

    2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

     

    3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

     

    4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

     

    5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

     

    6. Farmer Bill Dies in House

     

    7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

     

    8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

     

    9. Stud Tires Out

     

    10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

     

    11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

     

    12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

     

    13. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

     

    14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

     

    15. Eye Drops off Shelf

     

    16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

     

    17. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

     

    18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

     

    19. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

     

    20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

     

    21. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

     

    22. Miners Refuse to Work after Death

     

    23. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

     

    24. Stolen Painting Found by Tree

     

    25. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

     

    26. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

     

    27. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

     

    28. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

     

    29. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

     

    30. War Dims Hope for Peace

     

    31. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

     

    32. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

     

    33. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

     

    34. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

     

    35. Deer Kill 17,000

     

    36. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

     

    37. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

     

    38. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

     

    39. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

     

    40. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

     

    41. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

     

    42. Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

     

    43. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

     

    44. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

     

    45. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

     

    46. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

     

    47. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

     

    48. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

     

    49. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

     

    50. Air Head Fired

     

    51. Steals Clock, Faces Time

     

    52. Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

     

    53. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

     

    54. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board

     

    55. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

     

    56. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

     

    57. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

     

    58. Include your Children When Baking Cookies


  3. Actual School Excuse Notes

     

    These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:

    1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

     

    2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

     

    3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.

     

    4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

     

    5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

     

    6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

     

    7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

     

    8) Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

     

    9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

     

    10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

     

    11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]

     

    12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

     

    13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

     

    14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

     

    15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

     

    16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

     

    17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

     

    18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

     

    19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

     

    20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

     

    21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

     

    22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.