Lollypop

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  3. Posted

    I was sat on the fence for a long time about this subject, but I've now come down. I don't think that there ever was a man moon landing. I've studied film clips and come out on the side of the sceptics.

     

    Flags blowing

     

    Shadows all wrong

     

    No blast area

     

    A view showing a scene that was supposed to be 3 miles away, and it was identical to the one that was shown near the Lunar Module. Even the rocks were the same, and in the same place.

     

    And crappy photos ! You would think that they would have taken the best camera's money can buy.

  8. Posted

    I voted for forgive. :lol:

     

    Being English we had quite a few skirmishes with France over the past thousand years, but they are still Englands closest neighbours. And there's a lot of the French words that are used today in our language.

     

    And I still think the French spoken language is the sexiest in the world. :lol: :laugh:

  9. Posted

    onesheet.jpg

     

    Daring Depp: Pirates of the Caribbean

     

    Millions of fans have been on the classic Disney theme park ride, "The Pirates of the Caribbean". Now, mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer is giving it a major movie overhaul. It's no kid's ride as Johnny Depp sharpens his sword to play a pirate.

     

    Disney has gone all out for Pirates of the Caribbean. The studio even built a 170-foot ship called the "Dauntless" to sail into theatres during the summer.

     

    The principal pirate is none other than Johnny Depp, who gets to wear braids, earrings, braided whiskers and dangling earrings for a really cool pirate's outfit. "It's layers of pirate garb. I got my compass, my baldric, and my sword, " said Depp as he pointed out his costume to our Access Hollywood cameras.

     

    His swashbuckling co-star is Orlando Bloom of The Lord of the Rings movies. "I can't believe how lucky I've been. I've played an elf. I've been a boxer, an outlaw and now a pirate. I'm living like every boy's dream -- it's unbelievable," Bloom told Access.

     

    And if you're going to turn a pirate theme ride into a movie, then who better to pump up the action than the king of chaotic thrills, producer Jerry Bruckheimer.

     

    "We're going to give you big, expansive, romantic -- all the things that you know I would love to go see when I go see a movie," said Bruckheimer.

     

    Viewers can definitely expect to see sword fights. Pirates of the Caribbean is expected to make a huge dent in the box office in July. Depp told Access that he can't wait to bring his kids.

     

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    Depp's new film a big hit at US box office

     

     

    Monday, 14 July , 2003, 09:50

     

     

    Washington: Johnny Depp's latest film "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl" has earned 13.5 million dollars on its opening day at the US box office, making it one of the top 10 biggest Wednesday openings ever.

     

    And what makes this figure even more impressive is the fact that the film opened during a non-holiday weekend unlike those ahead of it on the list, like Jurassic Park III and Independence Day.

     

    "We knew we had a pretty special film," a spokeswoman for Disney, the studio behind this high-seas epic, in which Depp plays an eccentric Captain Jack Sparrow, was quoted as saying by TeenHollywood. ANI

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

     

    Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean

    The Curse of the Black Pearl

    by Jay Mouton

    posted July 12, 2003

     

     

    Jay Mouton

    Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

     

    Walt Disney Pictures

    Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley

     

    If you have children between the ages of 12-80 you need to take them out to

    see this movie! I'm not kidding! It's an order! Well, I can't order you, but I can tell you that Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is the best movie I've seen in a long, long time.

     

    I don't know if Ebert and Roper gave this movie a "thumbs up" or not, but frankly I don't care. This movie is an all out must see!

     

    Pirates of the Caribbean possessed all of the elements I look for in a

    movie: Wonderful acting (I was convinced that each character was a real character), a story (after the husk that was The Hulk watching this movie was a breeze), fantastic scenery (I just love oceans and islands), costumes galore, ghosts, more adventure than you can slice a sword into and so much more!

     

    I know I'm going a bit overboard on this jewel of a movie, but I simply loved it! Loved it!

     

    When Johnny Depp and I first crossed paths I don't remember being all that

    fond of him. Well, time has given Mr. Depp a number of remarkable movies

    from which to show the world his grand talent and I've become a convert over the years. I've seen Mr. Depp in a few screenplays that I would have to consider duds, but he has never failed to communicate his character to me.

     

    I believe the term best used to describe Mr. Depp would be a "natural." Yep, that's correct - a natural. Keep it up, Johnny.

     

    Ahh, Geoffrey Rush, an actor's actor. This guy can do it all. I first caught Mr. Rush's acting talent in Shine a few years ago. Since that time I've seen him in a few other winner movies such as Les Miserables, House on Haunted Hill, and his quirky work in The Tailor of Panama.

     

    Geoffrey Rush finds himself in good company with Mr. Depp as they both seem to be brave souls and have taken some fantastic leaps of faith when it comes to movie roles - not a jog for the timid.

     

    Both Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley are likable talents throughout the movie and Ms. Kinghtley is about a strong and brave a movie heroine I've run across. Another thing that struck me about this movie is that all of the

    actors seemed to be having a terribly good time and that's always a plus in

    my basic rules of movie making.

     

    The plot is simple enough. Girl meets boy upon the seas, they grow into adulthood, fall in love, but are from different social circles. She is the daughter of an English governor and he is an orphan child found adrift near a sinking ship. Enter Captain Jack Sparrow (Mr. Depp), a whimsical, down on his luck and out of work pirate and you've got the beginnings of adventure.

    Suffice to say that there is some violence (hey, it's a pirate movie,

    remember?) but nary a cuss word, sex, nor a gratuitous shower scene to be

    found. I'm not going to tell you anymore because it's just too much fun to find out for yourselves.

     

    If you read my last movie review (concerning my BIG disappointment with The Hulk) you'll know that I take movies seriously - well, kind of seriously. I can say, without a doubt that Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is a precious adventure that you can safely take most of the family members to see. Treat them and treat yourself - check it out today!

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

    I saw the trailer this morning and it looks brilliant. Johnny Depp said he based his character on Keith Richards, and he was extremely funny.

     

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     

     

    I can't wait to see this. When I visited Disneyland this was one of my favourite theme rides. And J Depp as well... :laugh: " What more can I ask for "

  10. Posted

    Well we have had to get a new computer. Last Wednesday night we downloaded 2 new drivers for graphics. Thursday, and Friday everything worked fine. Friday night we downloaded the latest Windows update. Turned off the machine and that was it, it wouldn't start up again. it wouldn't even let us reformat. Saturday a friend came round and put in a Floppy disc, and went into DOS. It said it couldn't find our C drive. So there was only one thing we could do. ' Buy another computer '

     

    We still haven't given up on the other one yet.

     

    There is such a lot to catch up with on the board. :laugh:

  20. Posted

    HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL

     

    1. Pick up the cat and cradle it lovingly in the crook of

    your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right

    forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and

    gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right

    hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to

    close mouth and swallow.

     

    2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.

    Cradle cat lovingly in left arm and repeat process.

     

    3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.

     

    4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm,

    holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open

    and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold

    mouth shut for a count of ten.

     

    5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of

    wardrobe. Call partner in from garden.

     

    6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees,

    hold front and rear paws. Ignore growls emitted by cat. Get

    partner to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while

    forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and

    rub cat's throat vigorously.

     

    7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from

    foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains.

    Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth,

    and set to one side for gluing later.

     

    8. Wrap cat in a large towel and get partner to lie on cat

    with cat's head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in

    end of a drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil

    and blow down straw.

     

    9. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans,

    drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-aid to

    partner's forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap

    and water.

     

    10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill.

    Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto

    neck, so as to leave the head showing. Force mouth open with

    dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

     

    11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door

    back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch scotch. Pour shot, drink.

    Apply cold compress to cheek and check date of last tetanus

    shot. Apply whisky compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back

    another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from

    bedroom.

     

    12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve the cat from tree across

    the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while

    swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

     

    13. Tie the little bugger's front paws to rear paws with

    garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table.

    Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth

    followed by large piece of raw fish. Be rough about it. Hold

    head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down cat's throat to

    wash down pill.

     

    14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get partner to drive you

    to Casualty, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and

    forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop

    on way home to order a new table.

     

    15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell

    and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any

    hamsters.

     

     

    HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL

     

    1. Wrap it in cheese.

     

    ____________________________________________________________

     

    "Keep in mind that to a dog, you're family;

    to a cat, you're staff."

    -- Ron Dentinger

  21. Posted

    I'm sorry to have to report that I have had to ban a member. It wasn't a member that was a regular poster to the boards, it is the user named Federation. In the past this user has started trouble on other forums and accused me and some of our members of wrongdoing that simply was not true.

     

    I let all of that slid though, but today he sent me an inflamatory PM that crossed the line.

     

    I make this announcement only because this is an open forum and there are no secrets. If anyone believes that this banning is unjust I will supply you with the reasons for this action.

     

    I wish "Federation" well in his life.

    You get these sort of people on all boards, you did right to ban him. :biggrin:

  22. Posted

    NASA finds oldest planet ever

     

    The oldest planet ever detected is nearly 13 billion years old and more than twice the size of Jupiter, locked in orbit around a whirling pulsar and a white dwarf.

     

    NASA scientists say compared with the relative youth and stability of our own celestial neighborhood, where Earth and the other planets orbit a single 5-billion-year-old star in a quiet neighbourhood of the Milky Way, the ancient group that holds the oldest planet has had a boisterous past.

     

    The old planet is located near the heart of a globular star cluster some 5,600 light years from Earth in the constellation Scorpius.

     

    A light-year is about 10 trillion kilometres, about the distance light travels in a year.

     

    Globular clusters were generally thought to be lousy environments for forming planets, because the clusters coalesced so early in the universe's development that the heavier elements needed to make planets were not yet present in abundance.

     

    This finding, made with data from the orbiting Hubble Space Telescope, indicates that even globular clusters can produce planets despite the small amount of heavy elements, said Steinn Sigurdsson of Pennsylvania State University.

     

    "What we think we've found is an example of the first generation of planets formed in the universe," Dr Sigurdsson said.

     

    "We think this planet formed with its star, 12.713 billion years ago when the (Milky Way) galaxy was very young, just in the process of forming."

     

    By comparison, Earth and the rest of our solar system is a third-generation affair, made from gas that was polluted by the ashes of earlier generations of stars.

     

    And the sun is off by itself, not interacting directly with any other stars.

  23. Posted

    I’m sure that upon reading this, you’ll nod your head in agreement as you will all have experienced most, if not all of the scenarios listed. If you haven’t you need more fibre.

     

    The Perfect Bog

    Every once in a while everyone experiences the perfect bog. It’s rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.

     

    The Beer Bog

    Nasty! Depends upon the boger’s tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy bog accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....

     

    The Chilli Bog (aka The Japanese Flag)

    Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle’s heat shield. Also makes your arse look like “a Japanese Flag”.

     

    The Empty Roll Bog

    Relief - you’ve finished and reach for the tissue only to find an empty cardboard cylinder staring back at you. Panic overcomes you. You could use the curtains but then someone would ask “where are the curtains?” Use the rug? Nah, too bulky and cumbersome. You then come to the same conclusion that every “empty roll boger “ must face.....pull up yer dacks tighten yer cheeks and shuffle yourself to the nearest loo roll. Failing that you could always use your shirt-tail or one of your socks!

     

    The Splash Back Bog

    This one drops like a depth charge creating a column of cold water that washes your sphincter with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now your wet - and embarrassed if the column of water went half way up your back. Tip of the day: blot instead of wiping.

     

    The Childbirth Bog

    This one is just too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for this purpose. You sit there thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and then gets no better. You sweat violently and wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming “Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf!” There are only three things you can do: 1. Scream 2. Call an Obstetrician 3. Hope to hell you’ve got some Vaseline to help you get through it.

     

    The Machine Gun Bog

    Best utilized in public conveniences. You sit there in sublime peace when suddenly you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the tranquility like machine gun fire. The guy in the next cubicle hits the floor like a Vietnam veteran, cradling his umbrella like a M16....damn commies.

     

    The Sound Effect Bog

    You feel a noisy one coming on but relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot. So, you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is of the essence. At the precise moment of release, try the following: 1. Flush the toilet 2. Drop loose change on the floor, 3. Sing the first two stanzas of your favorite opera.

     

    The Cling-On Bog

    You’ve finished but there’s one damn morsel that refuses to drop. You grip the seat with both hands and wriggle. You twist and pump but the little bastard just hands there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the water below. If only you had some scissors.......

     

    The Whole Roll Bog

    No matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t enough. You blow the whole roll and have to flush at least a dozen times. The whole episode is consumer waste. Eventually if your toilet paper runs into minimal supply anything will do, towels, wash clothes, carpet, walls, whatever it takes.

     

    The Encore Bog

    Ahhh, you’ve done, so you wipe, dress, flush, wash hands and are about to leave the auditorium when you feel another bog coming on. You must therefore return for a curtain call. The world record is seven encores.....

     

    The Houdini Bog

    You go, you stand to flush and it has disappeared! Did it creep down the pipe or did you dream the whole thing? Should you flush? Oh yes as you can guarantee that if you don’t, it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.