Wishfire

Trivia today?

Why are you asking? I thought you were trivia 2nd in command.

Basically, the Native American version of the blue-eyed mutation.

So, the Travelosity Roaming Gnome roams side-ways. Interesting.

First name: Leader

First middle name: Christ

Second middle name: Descendent of man with white hair or skin

Last name: Cross-bearer

you know what is scary, the Make-A-Wish foundation said that a visit to Jackson's Ranch was in their top 5 requests!

But the question is... are the requested visits MJ-free?

It's actually more cute that funny, but whatever.

One thousand one hundred eighty.

Granted. Here's a penny.

I wish Anne Coulter's head would spontaneously combust on live television while I'm watching.

It's not that we take things too seriously. It's that you take things too lightly.

Is the school going to counter-sue for the kid leaving drool stains on his desk?

What if only one person had voted, but their vote had been for "Other: Give it all to me!"

I knew it!

So... what, the illegal didn't make a single noise the whole time she was in there?

haha, thats awesome...

 

"hey man, wanna buy some smarties? only 5 bucks for the bag. its real good stuff man, it'll get you buzzed!"

"Forget coke! Snort a line of Pixie Stix!"

The cemetary where they were originally buried, I would imagine...

It looks absolutely terrible.

Well, since some people are having difficulty with the link...

WARPED FACTORS

Laugh at our Prime Directive: The 10 Most Absurd Moments of Classic Star Trek...and why they rock!

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By Andy Serwin & Mike Cotton

Posted 3/7/2008

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Set your phasers to fun.

 

We’re suffering so badly from Pon Farr over J.J. Abrams’ upcoming “Star Trek” feature film (warping into theaters Dec. 25) that we’ve been TiVoing all the episodes of Gene Roddenberry’s classic sci-fi television series and watching them religiously. And if we’ve learned anything, it’s that “Trek” is one of the craziest, most outrageous, mind-blowing shows ever to air on TV. From dead presidents floating in outer space to Kirk & Co. dressing like Nazis, the show constantly amazed, entertained and even enlightened. If Abrams’ big-screen re-imagining comes within one parsec of these favorite moments, we’ll be transformed into hardcore Trekkers for life.

 

1. SPACE LINCOLN!

(“The Savage Curtain”)

 

 

Captain Kirk’s first response to unknown anomalies is usually a full spread of photon torpedoes. But when President Abraham Lincoln pops up on the Enterprise’s view screen (floating in space in his desk chair no less!), James T. starts a hardcore bromance on the former commander-in-chief, taking him into battle against a horde of evil space criminals (including Genghis Khan)—for which Honest Abe gets a spear in the back for his trouble.

 

2. YOU’RE VULCAN CRAZY, SPOCK

(“The Menagerie I & II”)

 

 

Vulcans can’t lie, but apparently there’s no rules against BS-ing you, kidnapping an invalid Starfleet commander and hijacking a starship. That’s just what Spock does to Kirk when he steals the Enterprise to deliver his former commander, Captain Christopher Pike, to the alien Talosians for some permanent shore leave, where the paraplegic former Starfleet captain can live out his days reliving his greatest adventures “Fantasy Island” style.

 

3. GOATEES EQUAL EVIL

(“Mirror, Mirror”)

 

 

Everyone knows the saga of Kirk and crew in that evil Mirror Universe where the Federation was a bloodthirsty galactic empire. But more impressive in this episode is Spock’s response to the evil variants on his Enterprise—he throws them in the brig just moments after they beam aboard, proving that “good Spock” is at least 50 percent smarter than an evil alternate universe one with a goatee.

 

4. NAZIS—I HATE THESE GUYS

(“Patterns of Force”)

 

 

Going to “what if” locales—such as the 1920s gangsters planet or all-Native American world—was no big deal for the Enterprise gang, but seeing Kirk, McCoy and Spock dressed as S.S. soldiers on a planet where Nazis conquered and united the world was the most surreal thing ever seen on ’60s TV while not on LSD.

 

5. COWBOYS AND ALIENS (“Specter of the Gun”)

 

 

Kirk survived his fair share of space shootouts, but in this cosmic precursor to “Tombstone,” he, McCoy, Spock and Scotty have to slap leather with the Earp clan and Doc Holliday outside the O.K. Corral after ignoring the warnings of a xenophobic alien race. Our only problem with this episode? Chekov doesn’t stay dead.

 

6. McCOY BUSTED FOR TTUI: TIME TRAVEL UNDER THE INFLUENCE

(“City on the Edge of Forever”)

 

 

Bones, as many medical professionals are wont to do, shoots up out of his own medicine chest, freaks out, beams down to an alien planet then travels through time and screws up the future so bad that Starfleet never existed. To save McCoy and the 23rd century, Kirk must nail Joan Collins, while Spock has to push her in front of a truck.

 

7. REALITY ISLAND

(“Space Seed”)

 

 

Genetic superman Khan, proving that genetic supermen are always d--ks, easily beds Starfleet ensigns and takes over the Enterprise. So when Kirk finally routs the mutiny, you’d think he’d beam this jerk into the sun. Nope—he strands him on Ceti-Alpha 5 instead, a move that bites him in the *butt* years later when Khan sprouts chesticles and a death oath against Kirk in “Star Trek II.”

 

8. SPOCK: SEX MACHINE

(“Amok Time”)

 

 

Imagine you only got turned on once every seven years; think your pants could contain that wood? Spock’s couldn’t either, and he goes so batsh-- crazy when he’s hit with the Vulcan Pon Farr mating urge that he tries to kill Kirk with a giant spear just to get some space tail. Do Vulcans know about symbolism?

 

9. COSMIC CRABS

(“The Trouble With Tribbles”)

 

 

Like an adopted shelter dog that once belonged to Michael Vick, when Kirk and crew let these cute yet fruitful space rats called Tribbles onto the Enterprise, all hell breaks loose. Born pregnant, Tribbles reproduce at an alarming rate and eat the ship’s supplies, then add to that headache with Klingon trouble on a remote space station. Scotty comes up with a brilliant solution to both problems that’s the galactic equivalent of stranding them on the side of the highway: He beams the li’l critters on board the Klingon ship! Take that, PETA!

 

10. R&R IS MURDER

(“Wolf in the Fold”)

 

 

Sailors like Scotty give the Navy a bad name. After the chief engineer goes on a three-day binge, his shore leave takes a sudden turn for the worse when he wakes up face down in an alley with a dead hooker nearby. (Don’t you hate it when that happens?) After a couple more broads turn up dead, Scotty faces the space electric chair, until it turns out the real killer is actually Jack the Ripper…who was an alien entity that traveled through space a century before mankind. (No, seriously.) Faced with an incorporeal killer jumping from body to body, Kirk has a couple choices—does he beam it out into space or beam it out into space and then shoot it with photon torpedoes?

When I was in middle school someone would put smoke bombs in the vents. Every Monday for half a year. No one ever found out who it was.

In high school, we used to try to try to hotbox the fallout shelter.

Now they need to re-edit all the old episodes and make her name Mary-Jane.

I don't know, I don't consider "avocado" a very advanced word, especially if she's a kid that gets taken to the super market. "Exsanguinate," on the other hand...

Another example of money being wasted on a study that tells us what we've already known for years.

Well, that must've been one hairy situation.

Now you have me to annoy the other board members with ridiculously colorful posts.

I seriously doubt that you annoy anyone.

 

I'll have to try harder

If you're going to try harder, try not to use pastels.

:P

Padding them? They should start putting spikes on them.