Roddenberry University and Space Center

[DrWho42 13]

*gets off chair, and begins to take steps carrying his pseudo-wooden cane*

“I shall be teaching on various subjects, and also on television-waves from deep-space...

Spelling is also an essential for this lesson. Don't need any bloody inbreds not knowing how to spell such words as: antediluvian and such... :)

We'll also focus on the Orwellian times of the war between the three surviving super-states (Oceania, Eastasia, Eurasia)...

...And some other subjects, I'll tag along on different missions.”

[Jeanway 0]

Proffessor Dumbledore races down the hall, black robes flapping holding a cup of coffee in one hand a wand in the other.

[nik 0]

Nik loves working on holidays. The university is closed, so he can really open in up on his bike on the way in. Students are out of town, and he can play crappy '80s music on his stereo while he works - getting more done in four hours on a holiday than an entire week of normal work.

 

Cursing the new security cards as he takes his desk, Nik engages the remote monitoring system of his experiment from his office. He takes a few pressure readings and gets to work.

 

After an hour of work, he hears footsteps in the empty halls of the lab. Listening carefully, he determines that the person is rather short, large framed, and in slightly poor physical condition.

 

"Aw crap!" Nik exclaims. "One of my students! They know!" He gets out of his chair and begins crawling under his desk, hoping the student will not see him.

 

The steps pass his office and continue down the hallway. Nik breathes a sigh of relief and gets back in his chair. He leans back in his chair for a few seconds and closes his eyes, meditating briefly on the project he has been engaged in for a year. He turns the ringer of his telephone off, and sets his e-mail for automatic delete, and continues working.

[Jeanway 0]

Cadet Jeanway wanders the campus on Labor Day week-end. Her family is away and she hasn't made any new friends yet on campus. She strolls the walk outside the Science building and sees Professor nik, through a window. He appears to be up on a desk dancing to some really old music. She walks over to the window and looks in. He's up on a desk, holding a can of beer and dancing and singing to some song in a very loud voice "BORN TO BE WILD!" She watches for a while then after she's seen enough she walks away talking to herself.

[fenriz275 0]

Professor Fen is in his office. His desk is buried under a mountain of papers. "Funny. I thought I already went through of all of this." He wonders to himself. "I suppose I'll need to get myself a teaching assistant to take care of this. I need to remember to make all of my quizes True/False. They're so much easier to grade." Being Labor Day weekend, the students are all gone so there's no one Professor Fen can wrangle into being his aide, for the moment. "Well nuts to this." Propping his feet up on his desk Fen leans back in his chair and takes a nap.

[WEAREBORG4102 0]

So your 'Grammar Police' too WAB??? Where ever do you find the time???  

260449[/snapback]

 

 

Someone forgot the comma for direct address again...

 

My English teacher told me to correct all the grammar available. :busted:

[WEAREBORG4102 0]

"That takes care of a few things." said Doctor WAB. He had just traveled forward in time to check the grades for the pop quiz he would be giving out on Tuesday.

[Jeanway 0]

WAB,

Click For Spoiler

Go conjugate yourself J/K buddy

[Rivendells_king 0]

*Teleporter's activate and numerous students come out of them. One of them happens to be RK the jewel of hippie vulcan intelligence and the vulcan high command*

 

All the other students are starring at RK as he walks to his dorm to find Wesley in it. "Hello! I am Wesley! I hope I am not that annoying" says Wesley. "Well...Wesley. Guess what? I hate you!!" RK replies. Wesley than gets thrown out a window and falls down to the ground.

 

RK began to look at his schedule "YES!! Logic and philosophy are crossed out so I get a extra 5 hours to do home work on tuesdays and thursday" RK screamed with joy!. Well what ever I better head over to a soroity.

[fenriz275 0]

Professor Fen peeks out of the door to his office. "Aw Cr*p. Students." Not sure if he has a class now or not Professor Fen decides he'd better go find out. "I hope the Xerox machine is on the way." Fen goes off in search of his classroom. Unfortunately he's carrying his map of 'Homes to the Stars', not of the campus and gets lost on the way. Campus Security finally finds him squabbling with a Bolian over a Butterfinger and take him back to his office.

[nik 0]

Nik continues working at his desk. His wall clock reads 6am - not surprising, considering it has always read 6am. "Gonna have to talk to Dr. Who about that..." Nik reminds himself.

 

Having worked steadily for 28 hours, Nik is ready to go home. He scratches the stubble on his face, and starts to hear students filter into the building. The voice of a familiar student filters down the hallway as he approaches Nik's office.

 

"Crap!" Nik exclaims. In a rush to hide under his desk, he bangs his knee on it. Holding his bruised knee, he has only one resort. Nik leans back in his chair, closes his eyes, and lies completely motionless.

 

The student walks into Nik's office.

 

"Hey, Professor Nik, I wanted to - ", the student stops in mid stride looking at Nik.

 

"Professor?" The student says. "You OK?"

 

The student walks up to Nik, and touches his shoulder. "Professor?" Nik doesn't move.

 

The student begins shaking Nik slightly. Nik still doesn't move. The student shakes more vigorously, knocking Nik out of his chair and onto the floor. Nik lies motionless.

 

"Hmmmm.... I guess he's dead." The student shrugs and walks out.

 

Nik lies for a few more seconds, opens one eye, and peeks around. He lifts his head and looks around to make sure the student is gone. He then gets up off the floor, sits in his chair, and resumes working.

[Jeanway 0]

From behind the door Cadet Jeanway watches Professor nik doing his "playing dead act ". She comes out from behind the door and says to him " You do that alot don't you?" He looks at her in shock. Then she says "I won't tell anyone. You could get into alot of trouble if anyone found out you know." Then he says "You in any of my classes Cadet, um what's your name?" "I think they'd know I wasn't dead, just unconcious or asleep in my chair." Jeanway, it's Jeanway. I don't know if I'm in one of your classes yet, maybe." Jeanway walks around to the backside of his desk and looks down. "You got a freakin dorm room under there don't you? Look at that. An air mattress, a mini-frige, a T.V. and a teddy bear.

[3 of 7 0]

3 of 7 takes a good look on the brochure to decide what she want to do.

Hmmm... Let's see.... Maybe I should be a co - teacher to WAB's class ?

 

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

Suddenly a big Van appears infront the University.

The door pop open and ILS steppes out, he walks around the car and opens the slidedoor.

"Get out you little brascal, get out"

"No daddy i will not!!!"

"Get out NOW!!!!!"

ILS pulls out his son and draggs it over the campus inside the school

 

Inside he sees Prof. Fenrizz

 

"Hey Fen. here he is!, you told me you can handle him and learn him something"

 

ILS drops his son infront of the professor.

 

"Hmmm, maybe we can teache him something" Fenrizz says

 

"Okey here is the schoolmoney"ILS give fenriz 160 gold pressed latinumbarrs and turns around walks out off the school and drives away.

 

 

damien looks at Prof. Fenrizz and shiffers, his mouth slowly opens and says"PPPlleas de gentyl wwwith me??"

[Jeanway 0]

UH OH :huh: {Hey Fen. Isn't Damien that kid who gave you so much trouble at Camp? When you were the Counselor??? :huh: }

[nik 0]

A Post-It note is stuck to Nik's computer screen this morning. It read's

"Don't forget the research group meeting today. (I tried to e-mail you, but I think your e-mail is down.)"

 

"For the love of God!" Nik says. "No wonder nothing gets done around here." He continues grumbling about office politics, incompetent managers, and grade-school one-upmanship.

 

An hour before the group meeting, Nik walks to the meeting room and sets the thermostat to 85 degrees. "That ought to keep it nice and short."

[Jeanway 0]

Cadet Jeanway, still wandering around sees that Professor nik's classroom is empty and she decides to check out this little hiding place he has under his desk. :huh: She crawls in there and gets very comfortable and UH OH, she falls alseep. :huh: :huh:

[nik 0]

Nik returns from the meeting extremely frustrated - his middle finger quite exhausted. He grabs his chair and pulls it up to his desk. Clenching his jaw, he moves to his keyboard to send some hate mail. As he works, he slips his shoes off. He feels something under his desk - something warm..... something soooooft......

 

Looking under his desk, he sees one of the students. "What the..." he says, then stops to think. Being the stoic person that he is, he decides to let her sleep, and refuses to think about where he was putting his feet. Reaching into his cabinet, he grabs his tape, and heads to the gym for a little work on the speed-bag.

[fenriz275 0]

Professor Fen wakes up after a very relaxing nap. Leaning back in his chair he stretches. Then he notices that he's in class and a room full of students are watching him. "Oops. Sorry. Did I fall asleep again?" He asks. All of the students nod affirmative. "Oh. Well...uh...class dismissed." As the students leave he leans back in his chair again. "I wonder what they're serving for lunch over at the commisary?" He thinks.

[Jeanway 0]

The smell of Tuna Casserole wafts through the hallways just before lunch. It wakes Jeanway up. She crawls out from underneath Professor nik's desk and heads out the door towards the Cafeteria. While rushing down the hall she rounds the corner and slams into Professor Fen who is carrying a tray back to his classroom. "BOOM! CRASH!!" His lunch goes flying up in the air and the plate lands flat, upside down on his head. The gooey noodles drip down all over him and cover his face and shirt. Jeanway takes off in the opposite direction without a word. :wacko:

[fenriz275 0]

Sitting in the middle of the hall, the sauce from the tuna casserole drips from the end of Professor Fen's nose. Dazed, it's several minutes before Professor Nik comes around the corner and finds his colleague on the floor.

"Aw man. Are they having tuna casserole again?" Nik says.

"Huh?" Fen mumbles. "What happened?"

"It looks like someone ran you over." Nik says.

"Oh yea. She did." Fen says not thinking about the lunch on his head. :wacko:

"Hey. Fen are you alright?" Nik asks. "Uh Oh."

[Jeanway 0]

Jeanway peeks around the corner to see Professors nik and Fen talking as Fen sits on the floor. She hears them talking. "You alright Fen? nik asks him. "Uh OH." She hears Fen say. "I can't get up." He tells Prof. nik. "Help me will ya?" Fen asks him. "Sure buddy, come on." nik says as he extends his hand to Fen. "WHOA!! CRASH!! They both slip on the tuna casserole all over the floor and nik lands on top of Fen. "My back, OH, my back!" Prof. nik yells in pain. "Get off of me!" Fen yells. A crowd gathers around them and Jeanway giggles, and says to herself. "Two down, ten to go."::tee hee:: :wacko:

[fenriz275 0]

Nik sees Cadet Jeanway laughing. "We'll see how much she laughs after I complain to the Dean about her behavior." Nik fumes, picking noodles out of his hair.

"Hey hold on a second there Nik. I wouldn't do that if I were you." Fen says.

"And why not?" Nik demands.

"Her father is Lucius Jeanway. THE Lucius Jeanway." Fen explains.

"You mean the ambassador?" Nik gasps.

"Yea. And the head of Starfleet Security. If you say one word you'll be tranferred to the Klingon culinary school on Qu'nos." Fen warns him.

"I hate Klingon food." Nik gulps.

 

After talking Nik out of career suicide Fen goes to his office to put on a clean shirt. Then he goes back to the commisary to try a second attempt at lunch.

[Rivendells_king 0]

Rk is in the commisary and everybody is eating peaceful until some person with blond hair and a british accent comes in. the blond hair gose over to RK and says "so we meet agian King". "Do I know you" replys RK. "Yes you do loser for I am westley, but I got blond hair and I have magical powers, see watch" *wesley pulls out a wand and summons a klingon. "O god it is you just leave me alone before I blast you agian" screams RK. Now everybody is looking at RK and wesley and wesley sicks the klingon on RK but I Rk gives the klingon the nerve pinch of death and teh klingon dissappears. *Man this school is like out of some popular childrens book*

[Jaz4stfguy 0]

Can a body still register for classes at this university? Do you have any classes available for intermediate extra-terrestrial spelunkering::looking for moon rocks:: or perhaps a class about warp drive theory, with a lab? I'd love to get my hands on a genuine dilithium crystal - LOL! :wacko:

[nik 0]

Nik walks back to his desk. Reaching into his drawer, he pulls out his lunch - two turkey snadwiches, an apple, an orange, a pear, a bag of beef jerkey, a quart of skim milk, a chicken breast, and a bag of raisins. He lines the food up on his desk, and begins to eat as he grades papers. Professor Bloch walks by and peaks into his office. He stands at the door, beads of sweat dripping down his jowled face. His large belt- buckle with the words "TEXAS" in raised lettering points to the floor under the weight of his flamboyant gut.

 

"Geez, boy!" He bellows. "You got a tapeworm or something? How can you eat so much and stay so skinny."

 

"Exercise!" Nik says over a mouthful of chicken. "I bike and run a lot..... looks like you could use a few laps around the block yourself, ButterBloch."

 

Professor Bloch huffs, and rushes away. Nik remembers his campsite, and decides to make his bed after Cadet Jeanway had slept in it. The sleeping bag smells like perfume. "Pretty!" Nik says to himself. As he rises back to his desk, he hears Professor Telia Shtup walking down the hall. Nik rushes to his office door and stands. As she walks by, Nik smiles. In a deep voice, he says, "Hi!" She smiles sweetly and walks by. Nik watches and inhales sharply as he admires her leather miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and stilleto heels.

 

"Quark-gluon plasma, baby!" Nik mumbles to himself and returns to lunch.

 

Later in the afternoon, a few of his students enter his office, and they exchange small talk - sports, cards, and women mostly. They laugh and joke, and Nik decides to buy his students dinner.

[nik 0]

With the coming of autumn, football dominates the Saturdays of most people on campus. On his way to the lab, Nik decides to stop and join a tailgate party. He talks with others at the party, who don't recognize Nik, but attribute their memory loss to

the beer. Nik has a piece of chicken off the grill, and chats with a few of the guys at the tailgate. A few of his students walk by - clearly inebriated - and see Nik at the party.

 

"Yo! Professor Nik!" One says, "'sup dude! whoooooooO!" Nik waves. He leaves the party, grabs his bike and continues to the lab.

 

Nik weaves through nearly-stopped traffic and thick crowds on his bike. As he takes a corned to sharply, his bike slips out from under him and he falls to the pavement. Several intoxicated football fans gather around him to assess the situation.

 

"Ohhhhh! OH!!!!.... Oh Sh**!" They say intelligently. Nik mounts his bike - blood dripping from his elbow, and continues......

[Jeanway 0]

Cadet Jeanway still wanders around campus aimlessly. Not being a sports fan she tries to find others like her who couldn't give two craps about the game. She sits on the steps of the Science building drinking a Yohoo and looking down notices a few drops of blood on the stone steps. "Hmm, what's this?" She says to herself and decides to follow the trail. Into the front door and down the hallway she goes right to Professor niks classroom. She looks in and sees him twisting and turning himself around trying to put a bandaid on his elbow. "Need some help, Professor?" She asks. Reluctantly he says. "Yes, I do." I can't see where the cut is." Jeanway procedes to help him apply a bandaid. "You smell like chicken." She says. He laughs and pulls a piece of barbecued chicken out of his fanny pack. "Here, I was saving it for later but you can have it." He hands it to her. "Here Professor, you want this?" She holds up her half drunk bottle of Yohoo. "Sure, I am thirsty after losing all that blood." He says. They both laugh.

[fenriz275 0]

Professor Fen sits at his desk. There's a pile of papers in front of him. He's trying to grade them when he hears a strange rumbling sound. Looking around, he sees nothing out of the ordinary so he goes back to work. After a few minutes he hears the sound again. This time it's vibrating things on his desk. He watches as his stapler vibrates across the desk and falls to the floor.

"Well I'll be." He remarks.

Getting out of his chair he looks around his office. Looking in file cabinets, drawers, and under his desk he attempts to locate where the sound is coming from. Finding nothing inside he opens the door to his office and looks out into the hall. Cadet Jeanway is walking by so he stops her.

"Do you hear that?" He asks her.

"Hear what?" She replies.

The rumbling begins again, louder this time.

"That. Do you hear that?" He asks again.

"Yea, I sure do. What is it?" Jeanway answers.

"I dunno." Fenriz shrugs. "Let's go find out." He adds.

Professor Fenriz and Cadet Jeanway set off down the hall to find out who or what is making that God-awful racket.

[ILIKESEVEN 0]

Damien walks along the long corridors of the academy and is very bored.

No one wants to talk to him, noboddy wants to be his roommate, he thinks, "Geeze is start to look like my father"

Suddenly he sees Professor Fenriz and Cadet Jeanway comming out of a classroom, he walks up to them and askes"hey hello, whats up Proff.""Eeehhhh not now Damien we, jeanway and i are having a problem wihth some noise, come back later!"

 

"Okey that does it."Damien thinks.

"No more mr. Nice Student"

 

He walks back to his room and opens his cupboard, he takes out his raincoat and puts it on.

He walks out and looks for a empty corridor and takes a chair that was standing in a corner, he climbes up the chair and takes out his Zippo-lighter and opens it and turns the flintwheel, a big flame apears from the lighter, he looks up and sees the sprinklersystem, and with a nasty smile on his face he holds the flame against the sprinkler, 3 seconds later a big fire alarm rings and all the sprinklers in the building start to spray lots of water.

"FINALY SOME ACTION AROUND HERE!!!" Damien yelles