~ If Only They Could Talk ~

[Jeanway 0]

Innanimate objects, body parts, pets, YOUR CAR. Anything that you have to deal with and you swear if it could talk what it might say. Keep it clean now, I mean it. B) :lol:

[DrWho42 13]

There was a 1964 anthology of Russian science-fiction... The first short-story involved an artificial being who was raised in a laboratory where nearly everything spoke...

 

:lol: I don't have the book... It's called "Russian Science Fiction", but the librarian told me I bought enough books already...

 

EDIT: Oh.... I thought this was in the Science and Technology forum about artificial intelligence for mostly inanimate things...

Edited September 2, 2004 by drwho42

[fenriz275 0]

3:00 AM

 

ALARM CLOCK - Hello.

ME - What?

AC - Hello.

ME - Shut up it's too early for you yet.

AC - Why are you up then?

ME - I said shut up.

AC - Whatever. Wanna listen to some music?

ME - No. I want to go back to sleep.

AC - Good luck with that.

ME - Shut up or I'll throw you out of the window.

AC - No you won't. Then you'll be late to work.

ME - I'll be late to work then.

AC - Come on. Let's watch TV or something.

ME - What the H*ll did I just say?

AC - Whatever.

ME (Picks up the alarm clock)

AC - Ok. Ok. I'll shut up.

 

several minutes later...

 

MY BLADDER - Hello?

ME - Whaa...who are you?

M B - Your bladder. Guess what?

ME - D***it!

AC - HAHAHAHA! Told you.

ME - SHUT UP!

[Jeanway 0]

My stomach when I'm hungry says: "Just get something down here fast, I don't care what it is!!!"

 

Then when I go to eat "Anything" my tongue says: "No, no, no, no, not that, Please not that!"

 

Then my brain chimes in with: "What the H*ll is going on down there, I WANT SUGAR, or I'm shutting down on all of you!!"

[Jeanway 0]

My eyeballs are saying to me right now. " For GOD SAKES turn off the light!"

[Tal 0]

My eyes at the moment and my brain are both saying "its to early go back to bed"

[nik 0]

(This reminds me of a personal fetish of mine....)

 

My Car: "Up your tailpipe, science boy!"

 

My Calculator: "I love it when you touch me like that."

 

My answering machine: "Talk dirty to me......"

 

My microwave: "Oh, I'm having a hot flash....."

 

There's more, but those are personal.....

[Airies 0]

My office chair says NNNNOOOOOO NO AGAIN :lol: :helpsmilie: Help Me!

[DrWho42 13]

Tin foil hat: I DON'T WORK!!!

Brain: Where are thy quatloos?

Toaster: Alas, they told me that if one flew too close to the sun, thy wings will melt...

Trees: *rustle, rustle, plots time when to strike out on the bipeds and become Ents/Walking Tree-oids again..*

Ents take too long talking, so I didn't bother adding dialogue or a monologue...

[Airies 0]

The Toilet.... :I hate my life :wallbash:

[Jeanway 0]

My Computer: "I've got all kinds of thing in store for you today to MESS YOU UP!!" { THIS IS ME ---.:lol: }

[Jeanway 0]

My Feet. Sometimes it's like they yell silently, " GET OFF OF ME!!!" ^_^

[WEAREBORG4102 0]

Homework: Stop poking me with that pencil at 2 in the morning

 

Keyboard: stop pushing my buttons...

[Jeanway 0]

Here's a typical night, me trying to go to sleep. My body is exhausted but my mind won't shut off. "I need rest, now Go to sleep!" says my body. My brain is saying. "No way! Let's play poker! I still have alot to do up here, GET UP!" :)

[Eris_IV 0]

My muslces:"PLease, quit this physically overbearing job and get one where you can sit all day"

 

My car: "You are so good to me...thank you for making sure my oil is changed every three thousand miles....Thanks for the new tires...Thanks for the many car washes...thanks for the K&N air filter...THanks for loving me more than you love your boyfriend..."

 

My cell/camera phone: "Another picture of YOU? Your cat again? Seriously, Ging...How many pictures of your car do you need? No, not your boss! ...Ugh, this is so embarassing..."

 

My contacts: "Oh geez...It's time to throw us away now! Only two weeks, not six weeks! Quit bein' a cheapskate, you'll ruin your eyes this way!"

[Angela 1]

My dvd player

 

#1 no not this scene again that three hours of the same scene i know you love this Martouf guy, but please!!!!

 

#2 Oh dear lord 6 hours of the same song is murderous, I think I could muder you and plead temporary insanity

 

#3 WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THAT VCR!?!?!? i AM SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT TAPE CHEWING JUGGERNAUGHT!

 

#4 Oh great here I am I play images. but all you use me for is playing disc's. AmI but a glorified CD player??

[Jeanway 0]

#3 WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THAT VCR!?!?!? i AM SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT TAPE CHEWING JUGGERNAUGHT!

That was a good one!!!

 

 

My car when I wash it by hand with a warm soapy cloth. "OOHH Mama. I love it when you rub my hatchback." :) :)

[Jeanway 0]

My nervous system: Gimme Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee

[Angela 1]

My Brain

 

Eyes see cola

 

Brain Yells

 

"Yipee, down the hatch cug a lug!! woo hoo ride that train mama!!"

 

(I get hyperactive on Cola)

[Rivendells_king 0]

my computer

 

C: Turn me on

 

M:No its school

 

C:I dont care

 

M:I do I wont use you till 5 im not going let you stay on for 5 hours

 

C:you can get a quick game in

 

M:fine you peice of junk!

[enigmatic_mystery 0]

Eyes: NEEEEEEEEEEEEED DROPS!!

 

Stomuch: FEED ME! *After History*

 

Brain: I am going to get clobbered on tuesday.....

 

Musceles: Must get tougher for Tuesday!!

 

Feet: STOP STEPPING ON US!!

 

Skin: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-cold!!!!!! I'm cold!!!!

 

Gamecube: PLAY ME!!! playmeplaymeplaymeplayme!!! PLAAAAAAAAAAY MEEEEEEEE!

 

Books: HOMEWORK!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

Me: *looking at all this and wondering if I am nuts.* ;

[RikerChick 5]

Stomach: I want nachos!

 

Brain: Don't even think about it.

[Jeanway 0]

Eyes: NEEEEEEEEEEEEED DROPS!!

 

Stomuch: FEED ME! *After History*

 

Brain: I am going to get clobbered on tuesday.....

 

Musceles: Must get tougher for Tuesday!!

 

Feet: STOP STEPPING ON US!!

 

Skin: C-c-c-c-c-c-c-cold!!!!!! I'm cold!!!!

 

Gamecube: PLAY ME!!! playmeplaymeplaymeplayme!!! PLAAAAAAAAAAY MEEEEEEEE!

 

Books: HOMEWORK!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

Me: *looking at all this and wondering if I am nuts.* ;

262539[/snapback]

 

 

 

 

No e_m, your not nuts, your just "Assimilating" MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US IN HERE EVENTUALLY. :huh:

[Jeanway 0]

My body, when I just wake up and nothing hurts: " I haven't decided yet how I'm going to torture you today, just wait, I'll figure something out."

 

Me-->

[fenriz275 0]

My stomach when I go to the grocery hungry:

 

Eww pig's feet. Let's pick up a jar. Or how about those yummy looking pickled eggs? Who doesn't like pink eggs? Oh! Oh! Canned beets.

[BlueCrystal 0]

In my heart one of fondest wishes is not to hear object talk but that of my dog that I have *mothered* since he was 10 weeks old. In his eyes I see the gentleness of his soul and a yearning to speak within him. To hear but one word from my little doggie son would bring me to tears of joy! "Momma."

[Jeanway 0]

My Iguanas speak to me everyday, even though they have no voice. "Here, Mama, let me poop here then run off, haha" :) :)

[enigmatic_mystery 0]

 

No e_m, your not nuts, your just "Assimilating" MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :) IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US IN HERE EVENTUALLY. :)

262557[/snapback]

 

 

^^ O.0; :P;

I have some more to add.

 

Soda: DRINK ME! I'm sugary.

Teeth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Not again!!

 

Denist: This wont hurt a bit.

Needle: Thats what she thinks MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Injection Spot: PAAAAAAAIN!

Me: O0;

 

Musciles: All that work and I am an usher on Tuesday.....

Brain: YAY!! GO USHERS!

 

Pants: I'm going to trip you.

Me: *trips and stumbles down steps*

Book: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I CAN FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! *hits the floor.* OWIE!

 

Me with a heavy homework load on a Friday: *Muttered obsenities*

Gravity collaborating with the steep hill: Muwhahahahahaha!!!! *pulls me back.*

Me: O_0! *poopie*. *falls*

 

My reflection before the 6th grade diner theater: I feel pretty oh so pretty!

Real me: You have GOT to be kidding!! :);

 

 

Me admiring my new jacket: *:)* yay I look so awesome!

My reflection: What happened to that dress? We looked so nice.

Me: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM MY REFLECTION IS TALKING TO ME AGAIN!!!! :)

 

Me fixing my hair before school: Stay down! Grrrr *attacks with a brush.*

Reflection: Come on where the dress! You would look so cute, I me we would.

Me: :) LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

 

Brush: ow, ow, ow, OW!! You don't have to throw me at your head!!

[Jeanway 0]

This big block of fudge sitting on my desk: "Well? What are you waiting for?" :)

[enigmatic_mystery 0]

This big block of fudge sitting on my desk: "Well? What are you waiting for?" :)

263525[/snapback]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!!! :)