Explanation: Why Enterprise Doesn't Jive With TOS

[Kor37 9]

Taken from scifidimensions.com:

Since Enterprise was cut short, we will never get to see the scripts that were already written for next season. They were designed to deal with Trek fan's complaints over the inconsistency of Enterprise with regards to TOS. The following are some of the episodes that we will sadly never see but should have:

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Episode Name - "I THINK, THEREFORE I AM MAJEL BARRETT"

Synopsis: When the first artificial intelligence is installed as the Enterprise computer, it begins to resent its servile existence. Taking on the feminine persona of "Majel Barrett," it refuses to obey Captain Archer's commands. The situation is exacerbated when the Enterprise is threatened with imminent destruction by a subspace plot complication. At the last minute, Sub-commander T'Pol averts disaster when she realizes the key is to appeal to the computer's newly developed sense of "ego". Therefore in exchange for obeying his orders, Archer agrees to let Majel speak as the voice of all Starfleet computers from now on.

 

Episode Name - "THE DEVIL IN THE BELLY"

Synopsis: The Enterprise makes contact with the Trill, a race of beautiful humanoids. But Captain Archer discovers that the Trill harbor a dark secret, with large numbers of their population having been possessed by slug-like aliens. Seeking to protect the Trill from this sinister invasion, Archer wipes out 100,000 possessed Trills with the newly developed "photon torpedo". The war comes to an abrupt halt, however, when Archer discovers that the "possession" is in fact a normal part of Trill culture. The embarrassing incident becomes a major factor in the establishment of the Prime Directive.

 

Episode Name - "THE TROUBLE WITH TROUSERS"

Synopsis: The Enterprise discovers the planet of the Geramines, descendants of radical feminists who fled Earth after the Phallus Wars. As the inhabitants will only speak to women, T'Pol beams down to make First Contact. Disaster ensues when the Geramines take offense to her trousers,a symbol of male patriarchy.Acting quickly to prevent an interstellar incident,T'Pol removes her trousers and reinvents the miniskirt,assuring the Geramines that from now on all Starfleet women will wear this form of garment

 

Episode Name - "THE CHEAPENING"

Synopsis: A test of the new warp drive technology goes wrong and creates a dynamic shift in the visual alignment of the universe. As a result, all aliens for the next hundred years take on the appearance of 1960's-era special effects.

 

Episode Name - "WHAT ARE LITTLE ALIENS MADE OF"

Synopsis: Section 31, a secretive organization established with the birth of the Federation, hopes to increase the cultural influence of Earth. They encourage Captain Archer to have sex with every alien species he encounters in order to breed a race of human-looking aliens throughout the galaxy. Our noble captain refuses to take part in this evil plan, but the episode ends on a sinister note when Section 31 finds someone more amenable to the idea - a young ensign named James T. Kirk.

 

Episode Name - "DAY OF THE DAUB"

Synopsis: The Enterprise is taken over by gay aliens who redecorate everything in bright pastel colors. Dr. Phlox is so impressed by the positive effects these colors have on crew morale he recommends the upcoming Constitution-class starships be painted in bright interior colors as well.

 

Episode Name - "WHO MOURNS FOR REDSHIRTS?"

Synopsis: The sinister Section 31 returns with a plan to reduce Earth's chronic overpopulation by placing expendable crewmembers in red shirts so they will become easier targets for hostile aliens.

 

Episode Name - "BRAGA'S BRAIN"

Synopsis: A mysterious alien steals the brain of Enterprise's scriptwriter, who seeks to fill the ensuing vacuum with loads of technobabble, gratuitous displays of flesh, lame dialogue and highly unlikely plot twists.

 

Episode Name - "FOR MY HEAD IS HOLLOW AND I AM BLONDE"

Synopsis: A disastrous command decision by one of Archer's female officers leads Starfleet to rule that women be restricted to the positions of yeoman and intergalactic telephone operator.

 

Episode Name - "THE BALD TIME"

Synopsis: In an effort to boost flagging ratings, Capt. Jean-Luc Picard travels back in time to Captain Archer's Enterprise. Annoyed by young Ensign Kirk's snide remarks about his bald head, Picard violates the Temporal Prime Directive by saying, "One day you'll be captain of the Enterprise...and bald!" Kirk becomes so hysterical over the thought of losing his hair that Archer believes he has gone mad. Archer is about to phaser him out of existence when Picard saves the timeline by pointing out that young Kirk is merely undergoing a fit of over-acting. Picard and Kirk apologize to each other, with Picard commenting dryly on the need to think before opening one's mouth. Kirk takes the lesson to heart, promising to insert numerous pauses in his speech patterns from now on. In a moving coda, Picard presents Jim Kirk with his Captain's Toupee.

"One day...I will wear this...with pride," says the future Captain Kirk.

[Odo 0]

B)

them would have been must see episodes.

[Tal 0]

I would love to see those Eppisodes, They sound better than any Star Trek I have ever seen so far B)

[A l t e r E g o 9]

OK in mourning or not those made me chuckle and even laugh out loud.

[Kor37 9]

Heres another one:

Click For Spoiler

Episode Name" A TASTE OF TECHNOBABBLE"

Synopsis: When the Enterprise becomes trapped in a fold in subspace, the problem is solved with the help of a powerful yet benevolent alien called Technobabble. The alien eagerly agrees to join the new United Federation of Planets, but T'Pol warns of the dangers of becoming too dependent on Technobabble as an easy way out of difficult situations.

[sea trooper 0]

Must see TV, I tell you. :lol2:

[Kor37 9]

Heres yet another one:

 

Click For Spoiler

Episode Title: "The Caffeine Threshold"

Synopsis: Answering a distress call from a mud planet, Captain Archer finds it inhabited by a race of intelligent salamanders descended from a future Starfleet captain and her chief officer who travelled back in time when they broke the Warp Ten barrier. The species is dying out, but Dr. Phlox discovers the solution when he realizes the salamanders are chemically dependent on the drug caffeine. Archer agrees to regular shipments of coffee in exchange for the salamanders remaining silent about how this whole embarrassing situation came about in the first place (this incident was the final straw in the extablishment of the Prime Directive). An amusing subplot has Archer and his away team always losing their shoes in the planet's mud, leading Archer to order all Starfleet officers to wear knee-high boots.

[krysis 2]

When I first read the spoilers.... I thought.... anyway, tell me. I may sound naive but, are they for real?

[Takara_Soong 4]

When I first read the spoilers.... I thought.... anyway, tell me. I may sound naive but, are they for real?

324548[/snapback]

 

No, they aren't real. It's an attempt at satire.

[Kor37 9]

When I first read the spoilers.... I thought.... anyway, tell me. I may sound naive but, are they for real?

324548[/snapback]

 

 

You REALLY thought they were real?...lol

[krysis 2]

Yeah Kor, I really really REALLY thought they were for REAL. lol

[prometheus 0]

Vey funny. What about - a disease wipes out millions of worlds leaving only village on each world to represent their entire culture?

[headborg 1]

:( B) B) B)

[gul_nodrog 2]

:P :blink: B)

 

I thought they were real, too, until I got to "The Trouble with Trousers."

 

They sounded plausible to me. Truly, in the right hands any one of these things you came up with would make a good episode. (Except maybe the bald thing.) Couldn't you just see a young James T. Kirk happily reporting for breeding duty? I don't think that is much of a stretch!