If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek: The Next Generat

[Lt. Evans 0]

Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,

so, Data, please, how far? How far?

 

Data: Our ship can get there very fast

But still the trip will last and last

We'll have two days til we arrive

But can the Indrans there survive?

 

Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

 

Geordie:But, sir, the engines are offline!

 

Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!

Please make it so, please make it so!

 

Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,

We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,

The danger here is far too great!

 

Picard: But surely we must not be late!

 

Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire.

 

Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

 

Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?

Who lit the fire?

 

Riker: Not me.

 

Worf: Not me.

 

Picard: Computer, how long til we die?

 

Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye.

 

Data: May I suggest a course to take?

We could, I think, quite safely make

Extinguishers from tractor beams

And stop the fire, or so it seems...

 

Geordi: Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!

Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!

 

Picard: Mr. Data, thank you much.

You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.

 

Troi: We still must save the Indran planet --

 

Data: Which (by the way) is made of granite...

 

Picard: Enough, you android. Please desist.

We understand -- we get your gist.

But can we get our ship to go?

Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.

 

Geordi: There's sabotage among the wires

And that's what started all the fires.

 

Riker: We have a saboteur? Oh, no!

We need to go! We need to go!

 

Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy

And lock him up and ask him why?

 

Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.

I say give him problems dental.

 

Troi: Are any Romulan ships around?

Have scanners said that they've been found?

Or is it Borg or some new threat

We haven't even heard of yet?

I sense no malice in this crew.

Now what are we supposed to do?

 

Crusher: Captain, please, the Indrans need us.

They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"

I can't just sit and let them die!

A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!

 

Picard: Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

 

Crusher: They may be dead by Tuesday noon.

 

*COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK

HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*

 

Worf: The saboteur is in the brig.

He's very strong and very big.

I had my phaser set on stun --

A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!

He would not budge, he would not fall,

He would not stun, no, not at all!

He changed into a stranger form

All soft and purple, round and warm.

 

Picard: Did you see this, Mr. Worf?

Did you see this creature morph?

 

Worf: I did and then I beat him fairly.

Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.

 

Riker: My commendations, Klingon friend!

Our troubles now are at an end!

 

Crusher: Now let's get our ship to fly

And orbit yonder Indran sky!

 

Picard: LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

 

Geordi: Yes, sir, we can.

 

Picard: Then make it so!

 

(Que credits.)

[Ace 0]

Troi: We must seek out the traitor spy

And lock him up and ask him why? 

 

Worf: Ask him why? How sentimental.

I say give him problems dental.

:)

 

That's great, Lt. Evans. This^ is the best part, imo.

[Tina 0]

:P :P :) :)

 

That was FUNNY!

[Capt.Vash 0]

borg: this is this the borg; resitance? futile!

 

picard: why then I'll... *is warped away*

 

picard: this is locutus please surrender

 

riker: we cannot surrenfer oh you see for this is not your destiny, your destiny lies among the stars

 

picard: among the stars? i'm plenty happy here among borg bars

 

 

brain runs dry and can't make rymes no more

 

I commend you for this is harder then it looks

Edited February 27, 2004 by Capt.Vash

[stoned_vulcan 0]

great lol i loved it though wen i kept reading it.. it reminded me of something from gilbert and sullivan.. i want to c all the cast members recite this at a con.. but alas i also want arnold schwartzenegger to sing fernando and califoniacation... we all no that those rnt going to happen

[Capt.Vash 0]

Bump...

 

OH WAIT YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO BUMP SO...

 

Great great I love it that is the very best ever keep it up make one voyager! (please!)

[Jeanway 0]

I always knew you were Revvin, Revvin Evan. You wrote that? Your good, think I'll give it a try too. I'm watching 'The Cage' right now, lots of good idea material. :P :biggrin: :huh: :huh: :blink: :lol: :lol:

[LordOfTheBorg 1]

Lt. EVANS< I KNOW WHERE YOU SECRET STASH OF STAR TREK HUMOUR IS LOCATED! WWW.SJTREK.COM