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Luvin1stdegree

Any truth in here?

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25 THINGS YOU WILL LEARN

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1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

 

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

 

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in

a garage makes you a car.

 

4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

 

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

 

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

 

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

 

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

 

10. If you look like your passport picture, you definitely need the trip.

 

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

 

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

 

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

 

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

 

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

 

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

 

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

 

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

 

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

 

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

 

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

 

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

 

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

 

25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

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:bow:

 

I am partial to #3:

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in

a garage makes you a car.

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My mom sent this to me last week. I love it. Especially #3.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in

a garage makes you a car.

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These are great - true AND funny! :)

 

especially "lucky" 13!

 

And as I always say,

Since you have to die anyway, it might as well be from something you enjoy!

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