VaBeachGuy 12 Posted August 30, 2003 You Might Be A Trekkie If... After seeing a news story about a police shooting you wonder, for a moment, why they just didn't set it on stun. All babies start to remind you of Jean-Luc Picard. Deanna Troi can 'feel' your pain More than three original episode outlines are buried in your drawers Mr. Spock beamed down into your back yard last night and talked to you Phrases like 'sentient being' start creeping into your speech patterns. Sitting in traffic you seriously start wondering why you're using this primitive form of transportation. Someone tells a joke and your only comment is: "Humour, a difficult concept" The Outrageous Okona seems like a fine piece of writing and dramatic stylistics The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams The UPS guy hands you his electronic clipboard and you're tempted to call him the "Captain's Yeoman" as you sign it. When you get sick you want Doctor Beverley to take care of you Whenever you start your car you take your right index finger and point it ahead of you saying "Engage" You've attended a convention wearing non-Terran vestments You've been paying rapt attention during those endless special effects sequences in Star Trek: The Motion Picture You've figured out the stardate system You've had actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint You've had experience playing fizzbin and understanding it You've lectured any science professor on how transporters work You've memorized the crew's authorization codes You already know the name of every episode of season one of Star Trek: Voyager You always win the free slice of pizza at the local pizza place when they have Star Trek trivia questions. You answer your cellular flip-phone "Kirk here" You are able to use "variable phase inverter" in a sentence without excessive thought first You ask your broken computer to run a self-diagnostic You avoid all stores that carry Trek merchandise for fear that someone will find out about your 'addiction'. :-) You breed Tribbles You call your Psychic friends to talk to Mr. Spock You can name all 79 episodes of classic Trek--in order You can name, alphabetically, all the women Kirk seduced You can quote all of the Articles of the Federation You can trace your genealogy back to Surak You cannot use contractions in your speech You drive by a used car lot and start looking for Ferengi You experience indignation because the periodic table doesn't include dilithium and tritanium. You find yourself executing the "Picard Maneuver". You find yourself singing "Headin' Out to Eden" in the shower and you know all the words. You flip open your cellular phone and expect to hear it "chirp." You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with Luke Skywalker?" You get on an elevator full of people and have to catch yourself before you tell it what floor you want. You get upset when apply for a vanity license plate, and find that WRP SPD, BEAM ME, TREKKR, MKIT SO, and ENGAGE have already been taken. You have a copy of every Star Trek uniform shown on TV or in the movies You have a matter / anti-matter converter in your bathroom You have a shrine to Gene Roddenberry in your spare room You have a sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra You have inexplicable rock-climbing urges You have more than one pair of Spock ears in an old junk drawer You have no life. You have seen Star Trek The Motion Picture over 100 times You hire a private detective because you KNOW Guinan is here somewhere You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the planet Vulcan. You keep asking Scotty to 'beam you up' You keep forgetting that present-day elevators don't have a voice interface You know every word of Star Trek IV by heart You know the difference between "Live Long and Prosper" and "Nanu, Nanu" You know Yeoman Rand's cabin number You know you watch too much Trek when someone asks you to quote some Shakespeare and you do it in Klingon. You make annual pilgrimages to the Paramount lot You name your cat Spot and feed it feline supplement #74 You named your first child Leonard William DeForest You named your second child Tiberius You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble. You quote the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition You recognize more than 4 references on this list. You redecorate your living room to look like the bridge of the Enterprise You replace your Windows Program Manager font with “TNG Monitors” You save up money to send your kids to Starfleet Academy You scare your little brother by acting like a Gorn You see a car with a Starfleet Academy sticker and it seems perfectly normal. You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion Slave Girl in episode number 7. You shave your head to look like Captain Picard You sing along with William Shatner's record album You sing Klingon Opera while showering You spend $150.00 at a convention on a piece of plastic that may or may not look like a phaser You spend the weekend decorating your friend's van to look like a shuttlecraft instead of going on a date with the Homecoming Queen You stand in line for 13 hours to get Gene Roddenberry's autograph You start making lists of the signs that you've been watching too much Trek! You start practicing raising one eyebrow in front of a mirror. You start saying "make it so" in casual conversation You start scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol You start watching commercials because so many Trek alumni are doing the voice-overs. You talk to your computer (Hello, computer!) You talk... like... William Shatner --- on purpose You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise. You trim your angora cat's hair to make it look like a tribble You understand Klingon You use stardates on all your correspondence You walk to the microwave and start to order dinner. You want to have Worf's baby You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they were in the 20th century looking for a whale. You write love letters to Lursa and B’Etor Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and Capt. Kirk. Your dream date is with Deanna Troi Your idea of a great evening is spouting Trek trivia for six hours with your friends Your major quote sources for your thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and "The Omega Glory" Your wardrobe consists of a lot of black slacks with interchangeable gold, red and blue tops. Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you for information. From ~ http://www.pathcom.com/~boby/trekkie.htm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fredbroca 0 Posted August 30, 2003 In a very short time I will not have to shave my head to look like Picard. It's falling out on its own. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LadyNarana 0 Posted August 30, 2003 I recognize ALL of those references! However, the one about recognizing references is the only one I fit. I can name every ep of TOS, just not in order. WHEW. :P Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
trekzone 0 Posted August 30, 2003 i can remember all of the Enteprrise episodes, in order, from Broken Bow to Impulse...... freaky stuff.!!! im a trekkie and proud of it! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JTKirk1 0 Posted August 30, 2003 Oh yea I'm a Trekkie I think I'm the only person that has all of the scripts for the first six movies and can quote at least one whole act from all of them. Plus the fact that I watch any program that any of the ST alumni are in no matter how bad the show really is. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kyalia 0 Posted August 31, 2003 You've attended a convention wearing non-Terran vestments Hey, do NJCL (Latin/Hellenic/Classical geek) cons count? If the standard garb's from a few thousand years back, that is. I wore a palla & stola, complete with flip-flops because my solae (sp) went missing, along with the belt. You named your second child Tiberius May also very easily signify Latin geek. In Latin class, my Roman name (yup, gotta have 'em) was Tiberia. You have inexplicable rock-climbing urges So, I like rock-climbing. You keep asking Scotty to 'beam you up' "Beam me up, Mr. Speaker." Hey politics junkies and Washingtonians, sound at all familiar? *cough* think toupee *cough**cough* Click for Spoiler: Rep. Traficant, of course. You find yourself executing the "Picard Maneuver". School uniforms, anyone? Guess what all this really tells us? Click for Spoiler: We knew it. Our culture is based on Trek. And I'm a rabid Trekkie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goose 0 Posted August 31, 2003 Oh yea I'm a Trekkie I think I'm the only person that has all of the scripts for the first six movies and can quote at least one whole act from all of them. Plus the fact that I watch any program that any of the ST alumni are in no matter how bad the show really is. Stardate:213663.9 Your not the only one.I have all the scripts from every movie.And yes im a major trekkie and proud of it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A l t e r E g o 9 Posted August 31, 2003 Ok I admit it, I am a Trekkie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Riaan 0 Posted August 31, 2003 Count me in. I'm a die-hard Trekkie. I go all the way back to TOS during the original run. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sam The Smuggler 1 Posted August 31, 2003 Hehe, Those Are All Pretty Good. Haven't Read Them All Yet Though Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted September 2, 2003 WOW!!!!! thats one big list, ill just make it easy i love trek, im a trekkie. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kyalia 0 Posted September 4, 2003 Addition: How about, "You might be a Trekkie if you're on this site?" If we do have non-Trekkies, please stand up and introduce yourselves. Sorry for making you feel unloved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites