Chataeya 0 Posted October 26, 2005 You may not know that many things have a gender. For example: :( Ziploc bags are Male. They are male because they hold everything in, but you can see through them. Copiers are Female. They are female because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreck havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. Tires are Male, because they go bald and are often over-inflated. Hot Air Ballons are Male because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under them, and of course, there's the hot air part. Sponges are Female because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. The Web Page is Female because it's always getting hit on. The subway is Male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. The Hourglass is Female because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. The Hammer is Male because it hasn't changed much over the last 5000 years, but it's handy to have around. The Remote Control is Female. Yes, you thought it would be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KIMIMELA 1 Posted October 26, 2005 A door is a female, a desk is a male, a ship is a female. Of course I know. That is where Die, Der and Das come from in German. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chataeya 0 Posted October 26, 2005 But Why? Are they Male or Female? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KIMIMELA 1 Posted October 26, 2005 Yes. On TNG, the crew always says "her" as referring to the Enterprise. "Treat her like a lady, and she'll always bring you home." I always refer to the door as "Close, her, please". Or "Don't break him". I can't explain why. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yillara Skye 1 Posted October 26, 2005 (edited) You may not know that many things have a gender. :lol: For example: :( Ziploc bags are Male. They are male because they hold everything in, but you can see through them. Copiers are Female. They are female because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreck havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. Tires are Male, because they go bald and are often over-inflated. Hot Air Ballons are Male because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under them, and of course, there's the hot air part. Sponges are Female because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. The Web Page is Female because it's always getting hit on. The subway is Male because it uses the same old lines to pick people up. The Hourglass is Female because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. The Hammer is Male because it hasn't changed much over the last 5000 years, but it's handy to have around. The Remote Control is Female. Yes, you thought it would be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. 360092[/snapback] That was hilarious!!! Thanks for posting that Chataeya! Edited October 26, 2005 by Yillara_Skye Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrekkieMage 0 Posted October 26, 2005 (edited) Nice. Very nice :( Edited October 26, 2005 by TrekkieMage Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Itchygomba69 0 Posted October 27, 2005 I think this should be locked, as a man I am offended at how sexist you all are Click For Spoiler Just Kidding :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A l t e r E g o 9 Posted October 27, 2005 I think this should be locked, as a man I am offended at how sexist you all are 360152[/snapback] I agree. The guys here buttocks would be in a sling if we posted such female bashing :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Itchygomba69 0 Posted October 27, 2005 Male Language Patterns ! "I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses," REALLY MEANS, "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe, wearing a thong." "Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing," REALLY MEANS, "I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "What did I do this time ?" REALLY MEANS, "What did you catch me doing ?" "She's one of the rabid feminists," REALLY MEANS, "She refused to make my coffee." "You really look terrific in that outfit," REALLY MEANS, "Please don't try on another outfit. I'm starving." "I missed you," REALLY MEANS, "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper." "Can I help with dinner ?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table ?" "It would take too long to explain," REALLY MEANS, "Your a dumb Bimbo and Can't understand anything." "That's interesting, dear," REALLY MEANS, "Are you still talking ?" "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love," REALLY MEANS, "I forgot our anniversary again." "This relationship is getting too serious," REALLY MEANS, "I like you as much as I like my truck." "We share the housework," REALLY MEANS, "I make the messes. She cleans them up." :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim Phaserman 0 Posted October 27, 2005 Those are great, absolutely. Has me ROFLMFAO right now... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Itchygomba69 0 Posted October 27, 2005 This one should get me in trouble and I'm only typing it now is Cause Alana is asleep and she wont beat me Q: What do you tell a woman with 2 Black eyes A: Nothing you told her twice *pow-pow* I should go to hell for that one :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Itchygomba69 0 Posted October 27, 2005 (edited) :( :lol: Edited October 27, 2005 by dragonwrangler95 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chataeya 0 Posted October 27, 2005 This one should get me in trouble and I'm only typing it now is Cause Alana is asleep and she wont beat me Q: What do you tell a woman with 2 Black eyes A: Nothing you told her twice *pow-pow* I should go to hell for that one 360213[/snapback] :( :lol: :( Tsh Tsh! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chataeya 0 Posted October 27, 2005 I think this should be locked, as a man I am offended at how sexist you all are 360152[/snapback] I agree. The guys here buttocks would be in a sling if we posted such female bashing :( 360158[/snapback] Ok! AE My 20 yearold is not sexist . Here's one for the Guys to remember! Click For Spoiler I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?! So she says the words that every boyfriend on the plant dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you....she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "What?" I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either............................................... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Odo 0 Posted October 27, 2005 Main reasons why men have workshops. When women want to fight. Honey does this make me look fat ? ( no win say no your lying say yes run) Honey do i look good in this? How do we know you tell us how to dress. (ie. Your are wearing that) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chataeya 0 Posted October 31, 2005 Sorry no one on here can take a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A l t e r E g o 9 Posted October 31, 2005 (edited) Oh oh oh, you were joking! Ok I get it, HAHAHAHAHAHA! Edited October 31, 2005 by Alterego Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tal 0 Posted October 31, 2005 (edited) ROFLMAO that great, gonna have to send it to all my mates. Edited October 31, 2005 by Tal Shiar Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
