cptwright 1 Posted January 13, 2005 heres a new one from my buddy, hilarious, and clean so i had to share it with all. Subject: Testify If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility... Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away." Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?" A: "The officer who responded to the scene." Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?" A: "Yes, sir. With my life." Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?" A: "Yes sir, we do." Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?" A: "Yes sir, I do." Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?" A: "Yes sir." Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?" A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room." The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's "Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
He Who Shall Not Be Named 2 Posted January 13, 2005 99% of lawyers make the rest look bad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
3 of 7 0 Posted January 13, 2005 LOL! :lol2: That one was funny. :lol2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ddillard 2 Posted January 13, 2005 That was hilarious thank you for sharing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrPsychic 1 Posted January 13, 2005 Very funny, but actually my lawyer is really good. Expensive, but good, got me outta prison time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Heron 0 Posted January 13, 2005 (edited) However, there was something , very recently, where someone was badmouthing attorneys; I think that the joke they were telling in the hallway was " how can you tell if a lawyer is telling a lie?" and the response was " if his mouth is open". They got into quite a lot of trouble for that one as they kept going on about it and it was a federal building. There are good and bad in every profession; though the fact that the lawyers have so much potential to exercise their abilities, legally, in altering people's lives/finances/freedom; they are feared. It is understandable. I knew one once; was married to one once. There were the good and the bad that I met through him. Heron Edited January 13, 2005 by Heron Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sea trooper 0 Posted January 14, 2005 I don't get it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Theunicornhunter 2 Posted January 14, 2005 However, there was something , very recently, where someone was badmouthing attorneys; I think that the joke they were telling in the hallway was " how can you tell if a lawyer is telling a lie?" and the response was " if his mouth is open". They got into quite a lot of trouble for that one as they kept going on about it and it was a federal building. There are good and bad in every profession; though the fact that the lawyers have so much potential to exercise their abilities, legally, in altering people's lives/finances/freedom; they are feared. It is understandable. I knew one once; was married to one once. There were the good and the bad that I met through him. Heron 296469[/snapback] I think there were loud and disorderly and creating a scene in the courthouse - they belonged to a group that's purpose was to create scenes in public as a form of protest. (from what I remember of reading about it) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites