WEAREBORG4102

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Posts posted by WEAREBORG4102

  21. Posted

    CMO: Computer, activate the EMH.

     

    *goes to turbolift*

     

    "Computer, bridge"

    *goes to operations console*

    " Lieutenant Khetara, please magnify the right side of the viewscreen please...."

    "Kylen reroute all file pathways to EMH program and lock out the main computer, use fractal encryption code and further encrypt the EMH program"

    "That pathway loop will double encrypt the computer"

    "CMO to Engineering lock down warp core with force fields and containment fields"

    " Kylen reroute all power to life support, tactical, and impulse engines...."

     

    "tactical, please send back an antimatter surge in the tractor beam and fire a full spread of photon torpedoes and full phaser bursts..."

     

    " Send a distress call to all federation ships within range and inform starfleet command of the current situation"

     

    CMO: CMO to engineering, warp field must be as small as possible around this ship only...

     

    Tactical, engage a tractor beam on the cube, reroute power all available to the deflector dish....

     

    Mr. Toral, please to maximum warp

     

    ENGAGE!!!!!

     

    *Borg ship disentegrates*

  23. Posted

    TOP TEN BUMPERSTICKERS ON THE U.S.S. ENTERPRISE

    10. "Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!"

     

    9. "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it"

     

    8. "HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!"

     

    7. "Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"

     

    6. "Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!"

     

    5. "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical."

     

    4. "If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?"

     

    3. "Have you hugged a Ferengi today?"

     

    2. "We brake for cubes!"

     

    1. "Wesley On Board!"

  24. Posted

    BORG JOKES

    #1 on the BORG Hit Parade: We all sleep in a single subroutine.

     

    #2 on the Borg Hit Parade: Borg in the USA. All a Borg!

     

    Assimilate me tender - Elvis of Borg.

     

    Blonde Borgs have the same fun.

     

    Borg Mail Reader v2.1a. Tagline theft is futile.

     

    Borg Mail Reader v2.1a. Taglines are irrelevant.

     

    Borg Moderator - Your topic is irrelevant.

     

    Borg Starter Kit: some assimilation required.

     

    Borg saying: We came. We absorbed. We left.

     

    Borg spreadsheet program: Locutus 1-2-3.

     

    Borg virus detected. (A)ssimilate? (Y/y)

     

    My other computer is a Borg.

     

    GOTO, GOING TO, GONE TO - Borg subroutines.

     

    Gates of Borg: OEMs will be assimilated.

     

    McBorgers: Over 50 million assimilated.

     

    Borg-Cola: Not the choice of The Next Generation.

     

    Borg-again Christian. Resistance to my sermon is futile.

     

    Borg Sticker. "Don't like our driving? Call 1-800-IRRELEVANT."

     

    BorgBurgers. We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.

     

    BorgDOS: Irrelevant command or filename.

     

    Borgasm: The ecstasy of being assimilated.

     

    Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, gin is irrelevant.

     

    Clinton Borg - The economy is irrelevant.

     

    Ernest BORGnine... you be the judge.

     

    Geraldo of Borg: Next brothers who assimilate sisters.

     

    Groucho Borg: That's the silliest thing I ever assimilated.

     

    HersheyBORG: Wrappers are futile. Chocolate will be assimilated.

     

    Hillary of Borg: Choice is irrelevant.

     

    I am Al of Borg. Aww, Peg, I assimilated you last year.

     

    I am Barney of Borg. Being assimilated is fun.

     

    I am Bart of Borg - who the hell are you?

     

    I am Bugs Bunny of Borg. What's up, Collective?

     

    I am Caffeine of Borg. Sleep is irrelevant.

     

    I am Clinton of Borg. Hillary says resistance is futile!

     

    I am CopyCat of Borg. Your tagline will be assimilated.

     

    I am Dangerfield of Borg. Respect is irrelevant.

     

    I am Descartes of Borg: I assimilate therefore I am.

     

    I am Drunk of Borg. Resistance is floor tile.

     

    I am Elmer Fudd of Borg. Pwepawe to be aswimiwated.

     

    I am Flatulus of Borg. Prepare to pull my finger.

     

    I am Fudd of Borg! Pwepawe to be assimiwated!

     

    I am Fudd of Borg. Wesistance is usewess!

     

    I am Garfield of Borg - Hairballs are irrelevant.

     

    I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated - but WAIT! There's MORE!

     

    I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be... ooooohh, doughnuts!

     

    I am Hugh of Borg. We want to assimilate Troi. Geordi is our friend. He can watch.

     

    I am Jordan of Borg. Gravity is irrelevant.

     

    I am Madonna of Borg. Gender is irrelevant.

     

    I am Madonna of Borg: Justify my assimilation!

     

    I am NBC of Borg. You will be Affiliated

     

    I am OS/2 of Borg. DOS will be assimilated.

     

    I am Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated

     

    I am Popeye of Borg. Prepare to be askimilgrated.

     

    I am Popeye of Borg. You will be askimilgrated.

     

    I am Porky of Borg. You will be as-s-sim, as-s-sim, oh forget it.

     

    I am Sajak of Borg. R_sist_nc_ is futil_.

     

    I am Shakespeare of Borg. Prepare to be, or not to be, assimilated.

     

    I am Trebek of Borg. For $200, it starts with "R" and is futile.

     

    I am Tweety of Borg. I _tawt_ I attimiwated a puddy tat!

     

    I am Yoda of Borg: Irrelevant the Force is.

     

    I am Zsa Zsa of Borg. Prepare to be assimilated dahling.

     

    We are Tribbles of Borg. Prepare to be replicated.

     

    Yoda of Borg am I. Futile is resistance. Assimilate you, I will.

     

    P-Porky P-Pig of Borg: You will be assim-assim... absorbed.

     

    Pythagoras of Borg - Distance is irrelevant.

     

    Quayle of Borg - Inhaling is irrelevant.

     

    Uhura of Borg: Assimilation frequencies open, sir.

     

    We are Borg. <ESC> is futile <CTRL> is inevitable.

     

    We are Daleks of Borg. ASSIMILATE! ASSI-MIL-ATE!!!!!!!

     

    Yoooouuuuu'rreee Irrelevant! - Daffy Duck of Borg.

     

    Tennis is irrelevant - Bjorn Borg.

     

    The Borg are coming! Quick, try and look useless.

     

    The Borg assimilated my race and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!

     

    The Borg: Calm, Cool and Collective.

     

    The Swedish Chef has been assimilated. Borg borg borg!

     

    U2 will become one with the Borg. We like Bono.

     

    We have engaged the Borg. The wedding will be Friday.

     

    Welcome to Borg Burger. No pickles. Pickles are irrelevant

     

    Borg Answering Machine Message:

     

    WE ARE BORG.

     

    RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

     

    YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.

     

    But we're not home right now.

     

    So leave a message at the tone

     

    and we'll assimilate you later.

     

    when the Borg get carried away...

     

    RESISTANCE IS IRELAVENT.EATING IS IRELAVENT.WE ARE IRELAVENT.BARNEY IS IREVENT(TRUE TRUE)...

     

    ...Oh and "This Borg?s for you.

     

    ****************************************************************************************************************

  25. Posted

    The following are lines Spock might have said followed by what was really said:

     

    This celebratory gathering occurs at my behest and I shall be lachrymose if it so befits me.

    Answer: It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

     

    She chooses to purchase a terraced incline directed toward a post-life paradisiacal region.

    Answer: And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

     

    The leather coverings now encasing my pedal extremities have been manufactured for the specific purpose of ambulatory forward motion.

    Answer: These Boots Were Made For Walkin.

     

    Adieu, jaundiced vehicular pathway consisting of bricks of baked clay.

    Answer: Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road

     

    And we will engage in much jubilant activity until such time as the male parent chooses to repossess her vehicle of motorized transport.

    Answer: And we'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-bird away.

     

    The deity had little or nothing to do with the manufacture of minuscule viridescent seed-bearing fruits.

    Answer: God didn't make little green apples.

     

    Allow me the honor of portraying for you a miniaturized representation of a member of the family Ursidae of the order Carnivora.

    Answer: Let me be your Teddy Bear.

     

    You provide illumination for the period of time delimited by my nativity and the complete cessation of my metabolic functions.

    Answer: Again, nitpicky. It's "You Light Up My Life."

     

    Express deep affection towards yours truly in the manner of a hardened igneous object.

    Answer: Love me like a rock.

     

    Spock: I possess the capability of performing ocular scans of manual inscriptions on a vertical partition.

    Answer: I can read the writing on the wall.