cptwright 1 Posted August 20, 2003 were always hearing the womans point of view, what she wants, how she wants it, what were doing wrong, were so lazy, etc, etc, etc, well guys, heres our side of it. :lol: > Subject: The Rules > > > We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from > the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered > "1" ON PURPOSE! > > > > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it > down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about > you leaving it down. > > > > 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. > Let it be. > > > > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that > way. > > > > 1. Crying is blackmail. > > > > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not > work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! > > > > 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. > > > > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what > we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > > > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. > > > > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, > all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > > > 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to > act like soap opera guys. > > > > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. > > > > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways > makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > > > 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. > Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > > > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during > commercials. > > > > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. > > > > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for > example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea > what mauve is. > > > > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. > > > > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's > wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > > > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you > don't want to hear. > > > > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. > Really. > > > > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss > such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. > > > > 1. You have enough clothes. > > > > 1. You have too many shoes. > > > > 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. > > > > 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch > tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. > > > > Pass this to as many guys as you can and to the women, take notes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A l t e r E g o 9 Posted August 20, 2003 :lol: I'm buying a fresh pack of post it notes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Bolivar 0 Posted August 20, 2003 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions huh? Then why did he end up somewhere else than planned. (discovering North America was an accident) Oh, I do agree with everything else though, lol. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fredbroca 0 Posted August 21, 2003 I agree with you but will I ever tell my wife any of it I think not as I am a coward. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TransporterMalfunction 1 Posted August 21, 2003 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions huh? Then why did he end up somewhere else than planned. (discovering North America was an accident) Oh, I do agree with everything else though, lol. yeah, but he ended up somewhere better, and now his name is etched into history. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stelfan 0 Posted August 21, 2003 Damn, thanks for all the rules! I am showing this to my girlfriend! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted August 21, 2003 glad to be of service, and i shall continue to be as much as i can :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goose 0 Posted August 22, 2003 Stardate:213638.9 LOL thats cool I showed that to my girlfriend and she said that she is going to make a set of rules to counteract that set of rules.IF she gets done with it ill post it.(I doubt she will get done though) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lessa_Soong 0 Posted August 22, 2003 but the lid looks so ugly UP!!!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roguedawg 0 Posted August 24, 2003 I loved these!You are indeed a scholar amongst men,my friend. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mrskirk 0 Posted August 24, 2003 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it > down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about > you leaving it down. While that's all well and good, here is the #1 reason I complain about the toilet seat being up is that I usually discover that fact after stumbling in to the bathroom half asleep after an emergency call from Mother Nature awakens me around 3am. Since I am half asleep, I don't bother to check before sitting down, and discover that water is REALLY COLD on my naked behind. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ddillard 2 Posted August 24, 2003 I can definitely agree with alot of these rules. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Klingonmike 0 Posted August 24, 2003 Those rules are great!!! Thanks for sharing. As for the toilet seat issue, I usually put the seat down,but I also put the lid down. The girls are going to have to lift the lid no matter what. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cptwright 1 Posted September 2, 2003 i always put the seat, and lid down anyways too, i really dont like the idea of a kiss from my mutt after drinking toilet water. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
edmcgon 0 Posted October 7, 2003 but the lid looks so ugly UP!!!!! Remember the purpose of the toilet. It is not designed for beauty! :lol: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain_Redneck 0 Posted October 9, 2003 I'll need to print those rules out and post them up where my girlfriend can read them everytime she stops by for a visit. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dsbs 0 Posted November 9, 2003 We have no idea what mauve is. - lol! But about that toilet seat - it needs to be up 75% of the time, and down only 25%, so I stick with the DOWN argument Share this post Link to post Share on other sites