THINGS LEARNED FROM KIDS

[Kor37 9]

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest)...

 

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house, 4 inches deep.

 

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

 

3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

 

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

 

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

 

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

 

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" it's already too late.

 

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

 

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

 

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

 

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

 

12. Super glue is forever.

 

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

 

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

 

15. VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

 

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

 

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

 

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

 

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

 

20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

 

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

 

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

 

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

 

24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

 

i dont have any brake fluid...pity

[Capt_Picard 0]

Some you left out...

1. Never say your low on gas when a 3 year old boy is near or your gas tank of your car will be filled with water.

 

2. Getting water out of a gas tank takes a lot of money.

 

3. When playing pool with you navy friend make sure the beer is in sight and away from your 5-year-old girl.

 

4. A 3-year-old boy can find many ways to get ice cream early in the day.

 

5. Never leave the spare car door opener near the ice cream.

 

6. 2 year olds don't like wearing shoes and never look where they step.

 

7. When having a BBQ look to number 6.

 

8. 4 year olds think that anything put into a coffee pot, like cough syrup or chickaree, will make coffee.

 

9. Nail polish hardener should never be in reach of a 3 year old that looks at everything very closely.

 

10. Out of 3 boys and 2 girls after watching a WWF pay-per-view event the youngest boy will be thrown out a window by the oldest boy, then beaten up by the 2 girls for try to stop them from changing the channel, and finally has 'The People’s Elbow' and 'Stone Clod Stunner' performed on him by the two older boys.

Edited December 23, 2005 by Capt_Picard

[MANVERU 0]

Hehehe, nice ones

[Yillara Skye 1]

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

It also works to tie string to pterodactyl dolls and turn the fan on to simulate them flying. True they fly off and hit the walls leaving you laughing so hard you almost wet your pants and you fall off the chair.

 

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

Never did baseballs, however I used to flick my hairbands into the ceiling... and yeah I still did this even into my 20's

 

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

Yeah it would.. did not try it, but chemically I know it would work. However, I have mixed a ton of other stuff in Chem class that does smoke ROFL.

 

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

awww, why not? :P

 

12. Super glue is forever.

Especially when you accidentally put your finger to your forehead or the side of your nose! :blush 2: :)

 

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

Or Spree candies either. We would throw the candies in the water to stain it, we also would put the candy in our mouths then get a mouthful of pool water and spit it.. Yeah I know it was gross, but my sister and I were kids when we did that

 

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

No probably not.. LOL

 

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

And neither did my father's beeper. He had put it in the oven set on very low to dry it, we did not know it was in there and had turned the oven on to start cooking dinner. This was not the only time that happened, my dad had apparently not learned his lesson about that.