Goose 0 Posted July 15, 2003 Stardate:213537.1 Star Trek Groaners. Question: Where do Star Trek fans go to lift weights? Answer: The "He's dead, Gym"! Question: How many ears does Picard have? Answer: Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear. Question: What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the Marclosian Stitching Machine? Answer: "Make it sew." Question: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked "Why did you let Troi win at poker?" Answer: "Because I Riker." Question: What did the blonde Klingon say? Answer: "It was a good day to dye." Question: What is Thomas Riker's dating philosophy? Answer: "If at first you don't succeed, try Troi again." Question: What do you get if you cross a borg with a black magic marker? Answer: A borg with a big black X on it. Question: What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull? Answer: "Captain, we are being hailed." Question: What did Will Riker say when he discovered that he had a transporter duplicate? Answer: "We're Number One! We're Number One!" Question: Why are Beverly Crusher, Worf, and Deanna Troi similar? Answer: Because one's a Doc, one's a Worf, and one's a Marina. Question: What does Major Kira's emergency signal sound like? Answer: NANA NANA NANA NANA. Question: Did you hear about the singing contest for young men at Starfleet Academy? Answer: It's called the Kirk Tenor Prize. Question: How many of the Enterprise's senior officers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: All of them. One to screw it in, and the rest to debate the moral implications. Question: What did LaForge say when his girlfriend asked him what to wear on their date? Answer: "I'm BLIND!" Question: What did Lore use to kill Data's cat? Answer:Spot remover. Question: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can? Answer: Worf Speed. Question: Why couldn't Kira get permanent quarters on DS9? Answer: Because everybody knew she was a Visitor. Question: What did the senior staff of DS9 sing when Kira was packing to leave at the beginning of "The Circle"? Answer: Nana, Nana . . . Nana, Nana . . . Hey, hey, hey, goodbye! Question: What do you do if O'Brien refuses to fix your ship after you dock at DS9? Answer: Colm Meaney. (For those of you who don't know "Colm" isn't pronounced "Kohlm." It's pronounced more like "column.") Question: What is Sisko's favorite breakfast? Answer: Quarker Oates. Question: How would B'Elana Torres introduce her significant other? Answer: I'd like you to meet my better third. Question: What do you get when Gul Dukat kills off his half-Bajoran, half-Cardassian daughter? Answer: Bacardi on ice. Question: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married? Answer: They have engaged the Borg. Question: What do you get when you cross Lwaxana Troi with the bridge of a Starfleet vessel? Answer: An empty bridge Question: Did you hear that Jonathan Frakes is starring in a remake of an old James Bond movie? Answer: It's called Moonriker. Question: What did the Jamaican say to the Ferengi captain who was visiting Earth? Answer: Have a nice Dai Mon. Question: What do you get when you throw the casing of an unborn chicken at Quark's nephew? Answer: Egg Nog. "Knock-knock" "Who's there?" "Geordi!" "Geordi who?" "Didn't Geordi ask me that?" Question: What would the communication officer of DS9 say to Captain Sisko when a person is going on and on on the fifth channel of communications? Answer: Sir Babylon 5. Question: How many TOS landing party members does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but the extra red-shirt will die in the attempt. :( (My favorite) Question: How many Voyager crew members does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: However many it takes, you can be sure a shuttlecraft will be destroyed during the attempt. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JTKirk1 0 Posted July 15, 2003 LOL!!! That's some funny stuff!! :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yillara Skye 1 Posted July 15, 2003 Those are hysterical! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrekkieMage 0 Posted July 15, 2003 LOL! Those were hillarious! :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
removed 0 Posted July 17, 2003 lol. those are great! ive got one: QUESTION: What did Worf say when he saw Jean-Luc Picard floating in the toilet? ANSWER: Captains' Log. :o ok. that was a bit much. i apologize. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dsbs 0 Posted July 24, 2003 These are great :( :( My favourites: Question: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked "Why did you let Troi win at poker?" Answer: "Because I Riker." Question: What is Thomas Riker's dating philosophy? Answer: "If at first you don't succeed, try Troi again." :( Bysty, that was hilarious, but disgusting Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bevfanK 0 Posted July 24, 2003 Question: What is Thomas Riker's dating philosophy? Answer: "If at first you don't succeed, try Troi again." :( :( Those are great.. :( Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A Z 0 Posted September 30, 2003 lol. those are great! ive got one: QUESTION: What did Worf say when he saw Jean-Luc Picard floating in the toilet? ANSWER: Captains' Log. :unsure: ok. that was a bit much. i apologize. lol!!! what you didn't think i'd laugh at toilet humor at my age? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Riaan 0 Posted October 2, 2003 Those are great! And they ARE groaners! My favorite: Question: What do you get when you cross Lwaxana Troi with the bridge of a Starfleet vessel? Answer: An empty bridge. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites