Top 21 sings that The Enterprise

[Goose 0]

Stardate:213526.7

 

 

Top 21 Signs That the Enterprise is Nearing the End of its Warranty

1.Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.

2.Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".

3.Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.

4.Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one corner of warp coil now held up by phone book.

5.Computer fails to process any instruction beginning with "w".

6.Booster cables become permanent fixtures in transporter room.

7.Captain's chair must be propped up against screen to keep image from flickering.

8.Guinan stops wearing large, heavy hats for fear of falling through squeaky part of floor in 10-forward.

9.Main sensor array unable to pick up anything except CBS.

10.Lower part of bridge falls even lower and ramps along either side become to steep for crew to climb.

11.Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board.

12.Holodeck becomes caught in infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears.

13.Ship cannot enter warp while food dispenser is making Kraft macaroni and cheese.

14.Food dispenser in 10-forward will only serve light beer.

15.Bug in main computer speech processor: computer voice will either stutter or talk like Barbara Walters.

16.Untraceable glitch in plumbing periodically replaces water in Wesley's shower with frozen concentrated orange juice.

17.Ship's dryer indiscriminently shreds crew's uniforms, and related problem in fabrication machinery will only produce new clothing with Roger Rabbit caricature prominently displayed.

18.Computer refuses to carry out commands unless captain says "Pretty please, with sugar on it."

19.Riker unable to sleep for 2 weeks when holodeck computer crashes and loses access to nude volleyball program.

20.Replacement parts for automatic door to captain's ready room are exhausted, and door must be replaced with bead curtains.

21.Saucer section separates whenever ship makes left turn.

[Yillara Skye 1]

ROFL!!!!!!!!

1.Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.

Sounds like my car when it tries to accellerate(either forward or backwards...at times), and my mom's car, oh Lord. even my dad's car!

 

11.Turbolift cannot climb past deck 5 when there are more than 2 people on board.

oops, that is like an elevator at the University.. a few high school jazz band camp students made a bedroom in there and caused the elevator to malfunction(We're talking a book case, matress, lamp, the works...they were crazy-no not me but..I know who was involved). Several years later it still has problems!

 

12.Holodeck becomes caught in infinite loop: ship is overcome by ten thousand care bears.

Ack! NOOOOOOOO!!! I liked the CareBears when I was very very little but this would be way way way too much! :biggrin:

[TrekkieMage 0]

LOL!! :biggrin: