Lollypop 0 Posted July 9, 2003 Wine Warnings Due to increasing product liability litigation, wine manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all wine bottles: 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a moron. 3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your head in. 4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 am in the morning! 6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers. 7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. 8. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers. 9. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). 10. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. 11. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Frank. 12. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. 13. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you. 14. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lessa_Soong 0 Posted July 9, 2003 ROFL< but i am not telling what one i need on my bottle of wine! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lollypop 0 Posted July 10, 2003 I like this one 10. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chataeya 0 Posted July 10, 2003 :lol: Me I love # 9 just put (Homer) in the parentheses and it will fit me. #14 Seems to hit home, too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrekkieMage 0 Posted July 10, 2003 LMAO!!! Thsose are great!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yillara Skye 1 Posted July 10, 2003 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a moron. I have seen this one at my cousin's wedding... WE all knew this guy was not a very talented dancer to begin with, but he got totally loaded and tried to dance with everyone and thing. We'd see him head over towards our table and we'd come up with a million reasons why we wouldn't dance with him. We gave him a nickname... Click for Spoiler: Sir HumpALeg See why we were running?? 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. True it was not alcohol, but these should have been on my bottle of prescription pain killers! (Lorcet), Which makes it so you cant walk straight, and you suddenly write things that are not known in any language, including Klingon! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EmilSoong 0 Posted September 30, 2003 WARNING: Consumption of alcohol can make you think you're Miss America, and everyone just loves you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EmilSoong 0 Posted September 30, 2003 Then again, alcohol can also make big sister's roll around on the floor screaming weird things, and poking styrofoam heads with sharp metal objects for: "looking at her funny". And, talk to the toilet! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Riaan 0 Posted September 30, 2003 I've been on the receiving end of this one! 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 am in the morning! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
