Takara_Soong 4 Posted July 9, 2003 A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whisky. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?" The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging." "Hanging? Who are they hanging?" "Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied. "What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked. "Well," says the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes." "How bizarre," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?" "Rustling," answered the bartender. ---------------------------------------------------------- Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Larry looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you." So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Larry asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Larry asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married'!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, this couple has a fatal car accident. The couple is sitting outside heaven's gate waiting on St. Peter. In conversation while waiting, they wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally shows up and they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone ever asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sits for a couple of months and in conversation, they begin to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work out? " they wonder. "Are we stuck together forever?" St. Peter returns after yet another month, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you can get married in Heaven." "Great," says the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" exclaims the frightened couple. "Jeez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer!?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrekkieMage 0 Posted July 9, 2003 LMAO!!! "Jeez!" St. Peter exclaims, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it's going to take for me to find a lawyer!?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Yillara Skye 1 Posted July 9, 2003 I had heard the marriage in heaven one before..I laughed then and I am ROFL right now! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lollypop 0 Posted July 10, 2003 Do you get them from Jokes.com ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chataeya 0 Posted July 10, 2003 OH! this is to fun to go anywhere else. I just love it here. These jokes are to much. ROTFLMAO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
