The young drunk man

[Wishfire 2]

This is a rolling story about a young drunk man. He's always drunk, so he gets into all sorts of odd situations. And yes, it takes place in the Trek universe.

 

Here's the catch... you must enter two lines, and they must rhyme. I'll start...

 

The young drunk man was drunk one night,

When suddenly the Borg gave him a terrible fright,

[BakulaBabe 2]

He couldn't believe what he had just seen,

thinking "I should stop having so many drinks with the Breen!"

[anslem1701 0]

But the Breen are best when it comes to consumption

Of alcoholic beverages that improve their cold function

[BakulaBabe 2]

He thought about asking the Breen for advice,

but instead he told the Borg "something not nice"...

[Wishfire 2]

The Borg laughed, and said with a snicker,

"Guess what? You're implants are all made of wicker!"

[anslem1701 0]

"Made of wicker?" he quaffed, with a look almost pale.

"What could wicker do to a man who drinks ale?"

[KIMIMELA 1]

Noticing the light was getting dim,

The Borg were tempted to assimilate him!!!....

Edited March 21, 2005 by xXTrekkieCaraXx

[anslem1701 0]

Though the beer had a sore effect on his drift,

Somehow, he managed to find a subspace rift.

 

--------------------------------------------

 

Bum bum BUUUUUUMMMMMM! (In song form)

[KIMIMELA 1]

:angry: *Thinks for 5 minutes*... I'll pass....

[Sgt. Phaserman 0]

In the rift he zigged and zagged,

Hoping he would not get fragged...

[anslem1701 0]

But the Borg pressed on, moving closer and closer.

"Resistance is futile, you crazy drunk hoser..."

[Yillara Skye 1]

Next he bumped into a man talking about time

And he thought, well I could by him a tequila with lime.

 

 

* :blush 2: best I could come up with right now... *

[Wishfire 2]

The man said, "No thanks, I only drink beer,

And you better keep going, the Borg are almost here!"

[trekz 7]

The young drunk man looked back and he saw a Borg Cube,

and thought, why did I talk to this time-talking rube?

[anslem1701 0]

But he let the thought pass, and through the rift he continued,

Until he found some Feringi in an ancient bar venue.

[KIMIMELA 1]

The Ferengi crowded round not making a sound

As the young drunk man looked like he'd drowned

[Wishfire 2]

"A shot of Jack Daniels, quick! I'm in a rush!"

The Ferengi never moved and continued their hush.

[anslem1701 0]

"Whisky shots for 30 bricks of gold pressed latinum."

"30 bricks?!" he exclaimed with a face that had flattened 'em...

[BakulaBabe 2]

"For this I wouldn't pay that much at all...

Hey, what's that stuff they call synthahol?"

[MrPsychic 1]

So he drank a shot down

Expect his head to spin aroun'...

[anslem1701 0]

And in his drunken stuper, he noticed those Feringi

We're actually the Borg eating Italian Linguini!

[BakulaBabe 2]

"Borg and linguini, now that's quite a sight,

now pour me another - wait, something's not right..."

[Angela 1]

And for the young drunk, alone with the borg

he mutterd to himself 'I'll start a site called assimilated.org'

Edited March 23, 2005 by Unadopted Angelic

[trekz 7]

"If I want that website," he drunkenly thought,

"I must register it before it gets bought!"

[Wishfire 2]

He grabbed up his lap-top, jokingly named Osiris,

But the Borg had gotten it first, and downloaded a virus!

[BakulaBabe 2]

It caused his comuter to grow Borg implants,

And nanites that crawled on the screen like Borg ants

[anslem1701 0]

Being drunk near Borg ants, he didn't really care,

And started away typing to defeat the Borgware.

[BakulaBabe 2]

The young drunk man typed as slow as a snail,

'til he heard the computer say "you've got Borgmail!"

[anslem1701 0]

He didn't want it to open, but his wicker implants kicked in,

So the button was pressed. The message read then...

[Wishfire 2]

"Congratulations! You're being assimilated! It may take a while...

But please remember... Resistance is futile!"