Family Guy Lines

[MrPsychic 1]

I bet most of the people here have watched Family Guy. Just wondering what's everyones favourite lines from it. I've always liked Peter saying to Lois

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You better watch you call a child, because if I'm a child, you know what that makes you? A pedophile, and I'll damned if I'm going to be lectured by a pervert

Edited February 25, 2005 by MrPsychic

[LordOfTheBorg 1]

I dont know if you ment Sayings or Quotes, but here are my favorite Quotes of Family guy:

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Peter: Look at this, Lois, see right here [points in book], I was voted most likely to succeed!

Lois: Peter, that's not you. That's not even a yearbook, it's a People magazine.

Peter: Oh, I wondered why they had the wrong picture and name.

 

Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ...

Bellboy(spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.

Brian: Oh, oh you speak english

Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.

Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?

Bellboy(spanish): Que?

 

Lois: Peter, why would they make you presidesnt?

Peter: Maybe it's because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second - RARF!

Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.

 

Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?

Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

The following has some possibly offensive language, If you want to still read this offensive language, hit the spoiler buttons.

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[Peter has bought a sexy version of a relationship tape]

Lois: $49.95? Are you sure we can afford this?

Peter: Lois, our relationship can not be measured in nipples and dimes ... nickels and boobs ... money. [runs off]

[ussacclaim 0]

I'm suprised this thread wasn't started sooner, since Family Guy is such a great show!

 

I'd like to say, the William Shatner things they do are great. And that whole parody of Peter and Brian as the Duke brothers was excellent too, not to mention the scene with the exterminators shooting up the Griffin house to get rid of the fleas.

 

My favorite quote is:

 

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(The fellas are standing around drinking after having been evicted from the bar)

 

Peter: Man, this is terrible. There's not even a place to sit down.

Joe: Sit down? Is that supposed to be some kind of crack?

Peter: Crack? Are you saying I have a fat a**?!

 

Oh, and here's one involving Star Trek:

 

Peter: Nothing gets by me.

::sees Star Trek on TV::

Peter: Oh my gosh, Uhura's black!

 

and finally:

 

Lois: I don't know better, don't you think Whose the Boss is a little esoteric?

Peter:--zooms into his brain, showing three guys at a conference table--

Guy 1: Could it mean tall?

Guy 2: I think it means sexy.

Guy 3: Guys, guys, esoteric means delicious.

Peter: Silly Lois, Whose the Boss is not a food.

Brian: Swing and a miss.

 

[MrPsychic 1]

Working in retail at Christmas time, we all adopted this line

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Merry Christmas to all, and to all, shut the hell up

[MrPsychic 1]

I remember this Star Trek quote from Family Guy

Peter: Daddy loves you Meg, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness, Star Trek was here first.

[Stephen of Borg 2]

I love Family Guy, my favorite quotes are

 

 

When Peter is filling out papers at the hospital

 

Peter: Under name I’ll write deceased. And under sex I’ll write no thanks I’m dead. It’s flawless.

 

When Peter is at a rehab center

 

Counselor: What’s your name?

Peter: Uh. Uh. *looks at pea* Pea. Uh *sees a girl crying* Tear. Uh, *a griffin flies by him* Grrrriffin, yeah Peter Griffin. Damn.

 

Peter making his house talk was hilarious.

 

Peter as the house: hey, hey, don’t come here. This is the Griffin’s house. Bring me a garage for I am hungry.

 

Who can forget the Randy Newman song?

 

Fat man with his kids and dog

Drove in through the smoke and fog

Hey there Rover, come on over

[MrPsychic 1]

here's imdb.com's quote page of Family Guy: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0182576/quotes They did a really good job of getting quotes, but there are some doubles.

[Wishfire 2]

Young Peter: Why did the dinosaurs die out?

Teacher: Because you touch yourself at night.

 

(Cop pulls Peter over, so he lifts his shirt and exposes his nipple.)

Cop: Sir, do you- Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to pull down your shirt.

Peter: Damn! Of all the cops in Rhode Island I have to get the one straight one!

(That's one is especially funny to me because the first time I heard it I was living less than a mile from the Rhode Island border.)

 

Chris: Hey Meg, guess what word I'm thinking of... And it's not 'kitty.'

Meg: Um, (I forget the word.)

Chris :(Laughs) Nope! It was 'kitty!'

-later-

Chris: Hey Meg, I'm thinking of another word, and this time it's really not 'kitty.'

Meg: (rolls eyes) Um... Kitty?

Chris: Get out of my head... GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

 

William Shatner in Fiddler on the Roof. I don't remember the exact lines, but at the end of the line he screams out KAAAAHHHNNNN!!!!!

 

Senator: Cigarettes killed my father! And raped my mother!

 

I guess that's all for now...

[Stephen of Borg 2]

This is from memory but I believe what Bill Shatner says on the Fiddler on the Roof sketch is

 

 

"Oh fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? Here in our little town of Anatifka, I *squints eyes*....Khan!!!! KHANNN!!!!!" :( I have that episode and watch over and over again.

 

I also like it when Stewie does the William Shatner version of the song "Rocket Man"

[Wishfire 2]

This is from memory but I believe what Bill Shatner says on the Fiddler on the Roof sketch is

 

 

"Oh fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? Here in our little town of Anatifka, I *squints eyes*....Khan!!!! KHANNN!!!!!" B)  I have that episode and watch over and over again.

 

I also like it when Stewie does the William Shatner version of the song "Rocket Man"

308173[/snapback]

 

Sounds about right. It doesn't matter though, just seeing an animated Shatner yell KAHN! in the middle of Fiddler on the Roof is good enough for me. :( And I think he starts trembling like he's angry rather than just squints his eyes.

[Stephen of Borg 2]

yep :(

[MrPsychic 1]

This is from memory but I believe what Bill Shatner says on the Fiddler on the Roof sketch is

 

"Oh fiddler on the roof. Sounds crazy, no? Here in our little town of Anatifka, I *squints eyes*....Khan!!!! KHANNN!!!!!" :(  I have that episode and watch over and over again.

308173[/snapback]

The closed captioning people really messed up Shatner yelling. In the closed caption, it says he yells CARD!! Also, Meg ran over Shatner learning to drive B)

[Stephen of Borg 2]

It's obvious that the closed caption people are not Trek fans.

 

yeah, old Bill is on a few episodes of Family Guy. Another episode he is on is when Peter does the play "The King and I". Shatner is in the audience.

[Wishfire 2]

It's obvious that the closed caption people are not Trek fans.

 

yeah, old Bill is on a few episodes of Family Guy. Another episode he is on is when Peter does the play "The King and I". Shatner is in the audience.

308410[/snapback]

 

Is he? I didn't know that. I'll have to remember that.

 

Then there's the one wear he's wearing Lois's leiderhosen.

[MrPsychic 1]

It's obvious that the closed caption people are not Trek fans.

 

yeah, old Bill is on a few episodes of Family Guy. Another episode he is on is when Peter does the play "The King and I". Shatner is in the audience.

308410[/snapback]

 

Is he? I didn't know that. I'll have to remember that.

 

Then there's the one wear he's wearing Lois's leiderhosen.

308635[/snapback]

that was the episode where Meg ran Shatner over because Stewie created an ice storm.

[Rivendells_king 0]

So when willam shatner did the Kahn thing did the kahn take place of the traditon part to it was like KAHHNNNNNN KAHN *fiddle music* KAHHHHN KAHN

 

Dear god! * sorry I have extremely bad memorys about the tradition song from fiddler on the roof*

[MrPsychic 1]

So when willam shatner did the Kahn thing did the kahn take place of the traditon part to it was like KAHHNNNNNN KAHN *fiddle music* KAHHHHN KAHN

 

Dear god! * sorry I have extremely bad memorys about the tradition song from fiddler on the roof*

308672[/snapback]

No. Shatner did the lines, stopped, and yelled Khan. The camera showed his face, then outside the theater with him still yelling, like they showed Planet Regula in ST II.

[Wishfire 2]

It's obvious that the closed caption people are not Trek fans.

 

yeah, old Bill is on a few episodes of Family Guy. Another episode he is on is when Peter does the play "The King and I". Shatner is in the audience.

308410[/snapback]

 

Is he? I didn't know that. I'll have to remember that.

 

Then there's the one wear he's wearing Lois's leiderhosen.

308635[/snapback]

that was the episode where Meg ran Shatner over because Stewie created an ice storm.

308670[/snapback]

 

Yeah, and then his gut burst out of his shirt. And Brian siad something like, "Wow, I didn't see that coming."

[MrPsychic 1]

It's obvious that the closed caption people are not Trek fans.

 

yeah, old Bill is on a few episodes of Family Guy. Another episode he is on is when Peter does the play "The King and I". Shatner is in the audience.

308410[/snapback]

 

Is he? I didn't know that. I'll have to remember that.

 

Then there's the one wear he's wearing Lois's leiderhosen.

308635[/snapback]

that was the episode where Meg ran Shatner over because Stewie created an ice storm.

308670[/snapback]

 

Yeah, and then his gut burst out of his shirt. And Brian siad something like, "Wow, I didn't see that coming."

308722[/snapback]

Actually, it was Ensign Ricky from earlier in the episode who said that.

[Matt 0]

Ah Family Guy, you can't beat it for the one liners.

[Itchygomba69 0]

Stewie hanging out in the cheerleaders lockerroom and looks down and say, My wee wee appears to have rigamortis

 

[nerd359 0]

Peter: Hey Lois, It's the two symbols of the Republican party. An elephant and a fat white guy who's afraid of change!

[Stephen of Borg 2]

At a KFC in Kentucky

 

Peter: Yeah, I'd like to see Colonel Sanders

Cashier: yo, he ain alie he dead

Peter: What?

Cashier: Ah said he ain alie he dead

Peter: The Colonel!

[MrPsychic 1]

Senator: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD! (Peter slaps him)

Peter: Get a hold of yourself! Ok, ok, you may have killed her when you shoved all those dollar bills down her throat. You may have killed her when you hit her with the barstool, I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But I can tell you what didn't kill her, smoking.

[Wishfire 2]

(From the episode that the Griffins get sprayed with toxic waste and develop super powers...)

(Meg growns out her fingernails)

Random Man: Is that all you can do?

(Meg scratches Man with a fingernail)

Random Man: Ow! That really hurts! Those things hurt! Is it bleeding? No... no, it's alright. But still, ow!

 

Edit: I know, I know, it says "favorite Family Guy line" singular, but I have so many favorites!

Edited March 16, 2005 by wishfire