Your Starship Captain Just Might Be A Redneck If..

[3 of 7 0]

- Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month

- He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles

- You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"

- He refers to Klingons as "Critters"

- He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"

- He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil

- He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section

- He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"

- He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen

- He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle

- He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it

- He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"

- He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser

- He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"

- He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"

- He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens

- He paints the starship John Deere green

- He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"

- He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"

- His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale

- He sings "Lucille" instead of "Kathleen"

- His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls

- He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge

- His idea of a "gas giant" is that big ol' XO Bubba after a meal of beans and weenies

- He sets phaser to "Cajun"

 

 

:lol:

Edited November 17, 2004 by 3 of 7

[oldfan1 0]

-your starship has battle damage repaired with unpainted bondo

-the captain wears a "CAT" hat

-the captain has an 8-track in the arm of his command chair

-your starship has a nacelle held on with a coat hanger and duct tape

-your starship had a dead targ tied on the saucer section

-your starship has a view port covered with a blue tarp and duct tape

-when you go to warp speed the captain plays Eastbound and Down on the 8-track in the arm of his command chair

-when the red alert klaxon is a "dixie" horn

-when there is a confederate battle flag painted on the dome over the bridge

Edited May 29, 2008 by statstarter