Top 42 Reasons Why

[Wishfire 2]

42. One Word: Hair.

41. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed.

40. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher -- and damn the consequences!!

39. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.

38. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.

37. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis.

36. Kirk can almost drive a stick shift.

35. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology.

34. Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical advantage.

33. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt.

32. Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt.

31. Kirk's first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge.

30. Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out.

29. Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some dumb old janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes.

28. Kirk never asks his bartender for advice.

27. Kirk never once said "Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!"

26. Kirk never got "dumped" by a woman for an intergalactic busy body named after a letter of the alphabet.

25. If something doesn't speak English -- it's toast.

24. If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up.

23. Picard never met Joan Collins.

22 Picard hasn't fathered any children; Kirk -- probably millions.

21. Kirk has a cool phaser -- not some pansy Braun mix-master.

20. Kirk knows how to deal with peace-loving hippy goofs.

19. Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won.

18. Kirk barely asks for suggestions. And if he does, he asks Spock only.

17. Kirk doesn't let the doctor tell him what to do.

16. One Word: Fisticuffs.

15. You can never lock up Kirk for very long.

14. Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for resources.

13. Kirk's son would never drop out to become a musician.

12. Kirk can climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything.

11. Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses.

10. The Klingons didn't have a word for surrender -- until they met Kirk.

9. Kirk's bridge is not beige.

8. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute things, like Tribbles.

7. Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge.

6. Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL.

5. Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon -- easily.

4. When Kirk says "Boldly Go," he MEANS it.

3. Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even impressed.

2. Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail.

1. Three Words: Flying Leg Kick

 

Taken from Steve's (Stolen) Dumb Star Trek Jokes & Stuff Pages

Yes, there's more there...

Edited October 17, 2004 by wishfire

[Jeanway 0]

Hey, didn't someone already do this thread??? :( :(

[DrWho42 13]

:( Funny list, and good number...

 

Maybe some one prolly did already, but it's nice seeing it again.

[Wishfire 2]

If someone already did, I'm unaware of it. So, if yes, sorry!

[Matt 0]

Very funny, having a look at the site now. Check out 'The Night Before Christmas'.

[Matt 0]

I'm still having trouble deciding who I think is the better captain.

[Cougar 0]

this is a great list. I think that they could also do a top 42 reasons why Picard is better than Kirk.

[Wishfire 2]

this is a great list. I think that they could also do a top 42 reasons why Picard is better than Kirk.

277833[/snapback]

 

My thoughts exactly.

[Lursa 0]

All those reasons are right on that is for sure. Plus kirk is more attractive and i would date him anyday.

[TC1 0]

Kirk knew how to swagger. A captain needs to swagger and be pompous. Kirk was great. I hope we see him one more time in Enterprise.

[Wishfire 2]

Kirk knew how to swagger. A captain needs to swagger and be pompous. Kirk was great. I hope we see him one more time in Enterprise.

289287[/snapback]

 

What, is Kirk some old-time sea captain? If the ship isn't tossed about by waves, there's no need to swagger.

[TC1 0]

Yeah, true, But he managed to do it sometimes anyway. He just had that swaggering "attitude" which I liked. Maybe I was too literal.