Star Trek Jokes

[Stephen of Borg 2]

My nerdiness knows no bounds! Here's some Trek jokes I found that are pretty cute. If you like Trek, you'll like these, I did. I've posted this on other sites, but I don't think I did here. They're corny, but you'll love them. :(

 

 

Question: Where do Star Trek fans go to lift weights?

Answer: The "He's dead, Gym"!

 

Question: How many ears does Picard have?

Answer: Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.

 

Question: What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the Marclosian Stitching Machine?

Answer: "Make it sew."

 

Question: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked "Why did you let Troi win at poker?"

Answer: "Because I Riker."

 

Question: What did the blonde Klingon say?

Answer: "It was a good day to dye."

 

Question: What is Thomas Riker's dating philosophy?

Answer: "If at first you don't succeed, try Troi again."

 

Question: What do you get if you cross a borg with a black magic marker?

Answer: A borg with a big black X on it.

 

Question: What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull?

Answer: "Captain, we are being hailed."

 

Question: What did Will Riker say when he discovered that he had a transporter duplicate?

Answer: "We're Number One! We're Number One!"

 

Question: Why are Beverly Crusher, Worf, and Deanna Troi similar?

Answer: Because one's a Doc, one's a Worf, and one's a Marina.

 

Question: What does Major Kira's emergency signal sound like?

Answer: NANA NANA NANA NANA.

 

Question: Did you hear about the singing contest for young men at Starfleet Academy?

Answer: It's called the Kirk Tenor Prize.

 

Question: How many of the Enterprise's senior officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: All of them. One to screw it in, and the rest to debate the moral implications.

 

Question: What did LaForge say when his girlfriend asked him what to wear on their date?

Answer: "I'm BLIND!"

 

Question: What did Lore use to kill Data's cat?

Answer:Spot remover.

 

Question: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can?

Answer: Worf Speed.

 

Question: Why couldn't Kira get permanent quarters on DS9?

Answer: Because everybody knew she was a Visitor.

 

Question: What did the senior staff of DS9 sing when Kira was packing to leave

at the beginning of "The Circle"?

Answer: Nana, Nana . . . Nana, Nana . . . Hey, hey, hey, goodbye!

 

Question: What do you do if O'Brien refuses to fix your ship after you dock at DS9?

Answer: Colm Meaney. (For those of you who don't know "Colm" isn't pronounced "Kohlm." It's pronounced more like "column.")

 

Question: What is Sisko's favorite breakfast?

Answer: Quarker Oates.

 

Question: How would B'Elana Torres introduce her significant other?

Answer: I'd like you to meet my better third.

 

Question: What do you get when Gul Dukat kills off his half-Bajoran, half-Cardassian daughter?

Answer: Bacardi on ice.

 

Question: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married?

Answer: They have engaged the Borg.

 

Question: What do you get when you cross Lwaxana Troi with the bridge of a Starfleet vessel?

Answer: An empty bridge

 

Question: Did you hear that Jonathan Frakes is starring in a remake of an old

James Bond movie?

Answer: It's called Moonriker.

 

Question: What did the Jamaican say to the Ferengi captain who was visiting Earth?

Answer: Have a nice Dai Mon.

 

Question: What do you get when you throw the casing of an unborn chicken at Quark's nephew?

Answer: Egg Nog.

 

"Knock-knock"

"Who's there?"

"Jeordi!"

"Jeordi who?"

"Didn't Jeordi ask me that?"

 

Question: What would the communication officer of DS9 say to Captain Sisko when a person is going on and on on the fifth channel of communications?

Answer: Sir Babylon 5.

 

Question: How many TOS landing party members does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: Only one, but the extra red-shirt will die in the attempt.

 

Question: How many Voyager crew members does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: However many it takes, you can be sure a shuttlecraft will be destroyed during the attempt.

 

Question: Why did Worf change his hair color?

Answer: It was a good day to dye.

 

Question: Have you heard the new Klingon army motto?

Answer: Join The Kligon Army.

 

Question: What is Data's favorite song?

Answer: "I Left My Head in San Francisco".

 

Question: How do you know if you're facing Captain Picard?

Answer: Because you are blinded by the reflection off his head.

 

Did you hear that the Star Trek Doctors from The Next Generation, The Original Series and Deep Space Nine are setting up their own medical practice?

 

They're going to call it "Crusher, Bones and Bashir."

[WEAREBORG4102 0]

[Cougar 0]

:P :)

[Wishfire 2]

:( Very funny. :( :(