Jim Phaserman 0 Posted August 16, 2004 Hey guys. I've long wanted to do stand up, but I wasn't sure how funny I really am. so For those of you brave enough, I'll indulge you with some of my material. for starters, just some quick quips. Drugs... I've never understood why people smoke pot. I mean, don't you ever burn your lips on the handle? I tried mushrooms once, but I couldn't keep the pizza lit. I know a few people who did Coke during High School. one of em just stopped a while ago, and came over to my house. I offered him a drink, and he said "Pepsi if ya got it, I'm tired of doing coke." Dating I hate first dates. they remind me too much of a job interview. THe difference is not many job interviews end in a bed, and that makes the whole process that much more tolerable. Anyone ever gone on a blind date? I hate blind dates. it's kinda like a christmas present from your grandmother, you're hoping for something cool, and you usually end up with trading em in at the end of the night for something better.... Military Life I knew a Chief once who's name was Tim. everyone in the office called him Tiny Tim. I finally asked him, "Why do they call you Tiny Tim?" He said it was a long story. I asked, "Well, is it a family nickname, or did your wife give you that one?" I used to be on subs. Worst decision of my life. Well, actually the second worst. the worst decision was marrying my first wife, who serviced the sub's crew. and I'm not talking bringing meals to them, either. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BakulaBabe 2 Posted August 16, 2004 ROTFLMAO! I hope there's more to come! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim Phaserman 0 Posted August 16, 2004 I was actually begining to think this was a mistake...but, with enthusiasm like that, BB, my first album might actually go Aluminum! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tal 0 Posted August 16, 2004 LMAO -_- Keep up the jokes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jim Phaserman 0 Posted August 17, 2004 last night I was sitting on my porch when a Vampire walked by. he was walking his dog, a bloodhound, and looked miserable. I asked him what's wrong. he said he kept trying to get this girl to hang with him, or go out for a bite or something, but it was a vein effort. I gave him some advice, he said "Fangs alot, Man." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PonFarrDave 0 Posted August 17, 2004 A man walks into a bar... Ouch! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PonFarrDave 0 Posted August 17, 2004 A Chicken and Cole slaw are standing by the road. The Chicken crosses the road to get to the other 'side'. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Julie 0 Posted August 18, 2004 Jim, Honey, perhaps this needs to be moved to Risan Humor so you can tell ALL your jokes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
